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सबटाइटल्स (297 खंड)
Let's kick things off with something
uplifting. The Winter Olympics are
underway. And if there's one thing I
love, it's those post victory interviews
where medal winners from around the
world just radiate pure joy. I can't get
enough of it.
>> Congratulations so much on Olympic
bronze. How are you?
>> It's been the worst week of my life.
>> Okay. Little less joy than I expected.
Uh that was Norway's Sterling Home
Lagard who won bronze in the bialon, but
he got a bronze. I mean, I know it's not
gold, but it's still bronze. So why is
he so upset?
>> Half a year ago, I met the love of my
life, the world's most beautiful, finest
person.
And three months ago, I made my biggest
mistake, which was cheating on her.
Okay. Uh, not how I would have
celebrated in a postgame interview.
I would have gone with a thank you mom
and dad or a thank you God. But, you
know, instead you went with guess what
world, I can't keep it in my pants.
Got to say, buddy, buddy, there are
other ways of dealing with your guilt.
How about, I don't know, flowers, an
edible arrangement, or burying the shame
deep inside you and letting it fester
until it explodes in a public meltdown
in the freezer section of Trader Joe's.
I need A PIZZA FOR ONE BECAUSE I RUINED
THE BEST THING THAT ever happened to me.
And by the way, if I was listening
closely, did I hear that right? That you
met her six months ago? I mean, you guys
weren't even dating long enough to fart
in front of each other.
You are still in that honeymoon phase
where you pretend you need something in
the other room and go fart there.
You know what? You know what? If
repairing your six-month situationship
is that important, I guess it's fine to
hijack the news cycle to talk about it.
I'm sure your your teammate who won the
gold had nothing more important to draw
attention to.
>> And it was an emotional win for Norway's
Johan Olton in the men's 20 km
individual bathlon. The Norwegian
dedicated it to his late teammates who
died unexpectedly in December.
>> Oh, right. Our dead teammates. I was
between honoring him or talking about
how much I was getting. I
dude, come on. You hijacked that to try
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