خیر، متاسفم
Kheyr, motaseffam
No, I'm sorry
Phrase in 30 Seconds
A sophisticated way to say 'No, I'm sorry' in formal Persian settings.
- Means: A polite refusal combining 'No' (formal) with 'I am sorry'.
- Used in: Business meetings, formal requests, or speaking with elders.
- Don't confuse: Avoid using this with close friends; it sounds overly cold.
Explanation at your level:
Meaning
A polite refusal or negative answer, often with an expression of regret.
Cultural Background
The concept of 'Ta'arof' means that even when you say 'No, I'm sorry', the other person might ask you two or three more times. You should continue to use this phrase or its variations to remain polite. In the capital's business world, 'Kheyr, mota'assefam' is often followed by a very brief, logical reason. Being too emotional in your apology can sometimes be seen as unprofessional. While 'Mota'assefam' is understood, Dari speakers might more frequently use 'Bubakhshen' (Excuse me/Forgive me) or 'Ma'zerat mekhwayum' (I apologize) in similar contexts. Second-generation Iranians often use a mix, but 'خیر، متاسفم' remains the 'gold standard' for showing their parents' generation that they still respect traditional manners.
The 'Soft' No
In Iran, always follow 'خیر، متاسفم' with a small reason. A 'no' without a reason can feel like a personal rejection.
Don't over-apologize
While 'Mota'assefam' is good, saying it 10 times in a row can make you look weak in a business negotiation. Once or twice is enough.
Meaning
A polite refusal or negative answer, often with an expression of regret.
The 'Soft' No
In Iran, always follow 'خیر، متاسفم' with a small reason. A 'no' without a reason can feel like a personal rejection.
Don't over-apologize
While 'Mota'assefam' is good, saying it 10 times in a row can make you look weak in a business negotiation. Once or twice is enough.
The Ta'arof Loop
If someone insists after you say this, you can upgrade to 'واقعاً معذورم' (I am truly excused/unable).
Body Language
A slight tilt of the head and placing your right hand over your heart while saying this adds 100% more sincerity in Persian culture.
Test Yourself
Which phrase is most appropriate when declining a request from your boss?
رئیس: آیا میتوانید این گزارش را تا فردا تمام کنید؟
The second option uses the formal 'Kheyr' and 'Mota'assefam', which is required for a professional relationship.
Complete the sentence with the correct formal apology.
آیا شما بلیت دارید؟ خیر، _________، بلیتها تمام شده است.
'Mota'assefam' is the most standard and versatile formal apology in this context.
Match the phrase to the correct social situation.
Match 'خیر، متاسفم' with its best context:
This phrase is designed for formal, written or spoken communication.
Complete the dialogue between a customer and a shopkeeper.
مشتری: آیا این پیراهن رنگ آبی دارد؟ فروشنده: _________، فقط رنگ قرمز و سبز داریم.
A shopkeeper should use formal language ('Kheyr, mota'assefam') to be polite to a customer.
🎉 Score: /4
Visual Learning Aids
Frequently Asked Questions
12 questionsIt's a bit short. Adding 'Mota'assefam' makes it much warmer and more culturally appropriate.
No, 'Na' is perfectly fine with friends, family, and children. It's only 'rude' when there's a gap in age or status.
'Mota'assefam' is 'I am sorry' (regret), while 'Bebakhshid' is 'Forgive me' or 'Excuse me'.
Change it to 'خیر، متاسفیم' (Kheyr, mota'assefim).
Yes, it is very common in formal emails to decline a request.
Yes, it's an Arabic loanword meaning 'good', but its use as 'No' is uniquely Persian/Arabic etiquette.
In Persian culture, it's a social formula. You don't have to feel deep grief to use it; it's just polite.
Yes, 'Sharmandeh' (ashamed) is the most common informal-but-polite alternative.
It's a raspy sound from the back of the throat, like you're clearing it gently.
Absolutely. It is the perfect phrase for a student to use with a professor.
No, but 'Khob' (Well/Good) can. Don't confuse 'Kheyr' with 'Khob'!
Yes, but 'Nakhayr' is more common there than just 'Kheyr'.
Related Phrases
متاسفانه خیر
similarUnfortunately no
شرمندهام
similarI am ashamed
اصلاً و ابداً
contrastNever and not at all
پوزش میخواهم
specialized formI beg your pardon
ببخشید، نه
similarSorry, no
Where to Use It
Declining a Business Meeting
Colleague: آیا میتوانید ساعت ۵ عصر در جلسه شرکت کنید؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، در آن زمان قرار دیگری دارم.
Refusing a Street Seller
Seller: خانم/آقا، از این گلها نمیخرید؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، الان نه.
Correcting a Wrong Number
Caller: منزل آقای احمدی؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، اشتباه گرفتهاید.
Declining a Second Helping of Food
Host: کمی بیشتر برنج میل دارید؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، واقعاً سیر هستم. خیلی ممنون.
Job Interview Refusal
Interviewer: آیا با حقوق پیشنهادی ما موافقید؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، این مبلغ با انتظارات من متفاوت است.
Refusing a Date (Politely)
Acquaintance: دوست داری با هم قهوه بخوریم؟
You: خیر، متاسفم، مشغلهام این روزها خیلی زیاد است.
Memorize It
Mnemonic
Think of 'Kheyr' as 'Care' (you care enough to be polite) and 'Mota'assefam' as 'Mo-Task-Am' (I have no task/ability to help you).
Visual Association
Imagine a person in a suit bowing slightly while holding up a hand in a 'stop' gesture, but with a kind smile. The suit represents 'Kheyr' (formal) and the smile represents 'Mota'assefam' (sorry).
Rhyme
خیر و متاسفم، ادب را من میدانم (Kheyr o mota'assefam, adab ra man midanam - No and I'm sorry, I know politeness).
Story
You are at a grand Persian palace. The guard asks for your golden ticket. You realize you left it at home. You don't just say 'No'; you say 'Kheyr' to honor the palace and 'Mota'assefam' to show you feel bad for wasting the guard's time. He nods, impressed by your manners.
Word Web
Challenge
Try to decline three offers today (even if you want them!) using this phrase in your head or aloud to get used to the flow of the syllables.
In Other Languages
No, lo siento
Persian has a specific word for formal 'No' (Kheyr) while Spanish uses 'No' for all levels.
Non, je suis désolé
French often uses 'Pardon' or 'Excusez-moi' more frequently than 'Désolé' for minor refusals.
Nein, es tut mir leid
German speakers might just say 'Leider nein' (Unfortunately no) in professional settings.
いいえ、すみません (Iie, sumimasen)
Japanese 'Sumimasen' is even more versatile, acting as 'thank you' and 'excuse me' as well.
لا، أنا آسف (La, ana asif)
In Arabic, 'La' is used formally, whereas Persian reserves 'Kheyr' for formal and 'Na' for informal.
不，我很抱歉 (Bù, wǒ hěn bàoqiàn)
Chinese refusals are often more indirect than the Persian 'Kheyr, mota'assefam'.
아니요, 죄송합니다 (Aniyo, joesonghamnida)
Korean honorific endings (hamnida) are more grammatically complex than Persian personal endings.
Não, sinto muito
In Brazil, 'Desculpe' is often used more casually than 'Sinto muito'.
Easily Confused
Learners sometimes think this is a way to say 'I'm sorry' because it's used when leaving.
Khaste nabashid means 'Don't be tired' and is a greeting/farewell, not a refusal.
Used for both 'Excuse me' and 'I'm sorry'.
Use 'Mota'assefam' for deeper regret or formal refusals; use 'Bebakhshid' to get someone's attention.
FAQ (12)
It's a bit short. Adding 'Mota'assefam' makes it much warmer and more culturally appropriate.
No, 'Na' is perfectly fine with friends, family, and children. It's only 'rude' when there's a gap in age or status.
'Mota'assefam' is 'I am sorry' (regret), while 'Bebakhshid' is 'Forgive me' or 'Excuse me'.
Change it to 'خیر، متاسفیم' (Kheyr, mota'assefim).
Yes, it is very common in formal emails to decline a request.
Yes, it's an Arabic loanword meaning 'good', but its use as 'No' is uniquely Persian/Arabic etiquette.
In Persian culture, it's a social formula. You don't have to feel deep grief to use it; it's just polite.
Yes, 'Sharmandeh' (ashamed) is the most common informal-but-polite alternative.
It's a raspy sound from the back of the throat, like you're clearing it gently.
Absolutely. It is the perfect phrase for a student to use with a professor.
No, but 'Khob' (Well/Good) can. Don't confuse 'Kheyr' with 'Khob'!
Yes, but 'Nakhayr' is more common there than just 'Kheyr'.
