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A2 verb 7 min read

desapaixonar

Examples Notes & Tips desapaixonar in 30 Seconds
Explanation desapaixonar in your Level:
At the A1 level, you should think of 'desapaixonar' as the opposite of 'gostar muito' (liking very much). While the word itself might be a bit long, you can understand it by looking at the parts: 'des-' (meaning 'not' or 'un-') and 'apaixonar' (to fall in love). At this level, you might use simpler phrases like 'não gosto mais,' but knowing 'desapaixonar' helps you understand emotional stories in basic Portuguese. Imagine you liked a toy very much, and now you don't. That is a very simple version of 'desapaixonar.' It is important to remember the little words like 'me' or 'se' that go with it. For example, 'Eu me desapaixonei' means 'I am not in love anymore.' It's a useful word for talking about your feelings as you learn to describe your life and relationships in Portuguese.
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At the A2 level, you are beginning to use reflexive verbs more often. 'Desapaixonar-se' is a regular '-ar' verb, which makes it easy to conjugate in the present and past tenses. You should use this word when 'não gostar mais' (not liking anymore) feels too weak. If you had a big crush on a celebrity and now you don't care about them, you can say 'Eu me desapaixonei por ele/ela.' At this level, focus on the preposition 'por' (for) or 'de' (from) that follows the verb. You will hear this word in simple songs or see it in basic social media posts about breakups. It is a great word to expand your emotional vocabulary beyond just 'feliz' (happy) and 'triste' (sad). It describes a specific change in how you feel over time.
At the B1 level, you can start to use 'desapaixonar' to describe more complex situations. You might talk about why someone 'se desapaixonou,' using the 'Pretérito Imperfeito' to describe the background: 'Eu estava me desapaixonando aos poucos' (I was falling out of love little by little). You understand that this verb implies a process, not just a sudden stop. You can also use it to talk about hobbies or interests. For example, if you used to love playing guitar every day but now you find it boring, you can say you 'se desapaixonou pela música.' At this level, you should be comfortable using the verb in different tenses, including the future and the conditional, to express hypothetical feelings: 'Eu me desapaixonaria se ele fosse grosseiro' (I would fall out of love if he were rude).
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At the B2 level, you should recognize the nuance between 'desapaixonar-se' and other similar verbs like 'desencantar-se' or 'desiludir-se.' You understand that 'desapaixonar' specifically targets the 'paixão'—that intense, often irrational attraction. You can use the word in more formal writing or deeper conversations about relationships. You might discuss the difference between 'amor' (long-term love) and 'paixão' (short-term passion), noting that one can 'desapaixonar' but still 'amar' a person. Your usage should be fluid, correctly placing reflexive pronouns even in complex sentences with auxiliary verbs: 'Ela começou a se desapaixonar' or 'Ela tem se desapaixonado.' You can also use the noun form 'desapaixonamento' if you are feeling particularly academic or poetic.
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At the C1 level, you use 'desapaixonar' to explore the philosophical and psychological depths of human emotion. You might analyze literature or films where a character's journey is defined by the process of 'desapaixonamento.' You understand the word's use in non-romantic contexts, such as a professional 'desapaixonando-se' from a project to look at it objectively. You can use the verb in the subjunctive mood to express subtle desires or fears: 'Espero que ele se desapaixone antes que sofra mais' (I hope he falls out of love before he suffers more). Your vocabulary is rich enough to use 'desapaixonar' as a springboard to discuss emotional maturity, the ephemeral nature of infatuation, and the transition to a more stoic or realistic worldview.
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At the C2 level, you have a complete command of 'desapaixonar' and its place in the Lusophone literary and cultural canon. You can appreciate how authors like Machado de Assis or Fernando Pessoa might use the concept of losing passion to describe the human condition or the passage of time. You understand the subtle social implications when someone uses this word instead of a more common alternative—it might signal a certain level of education, a poetic sensibility, or a desire for clinical precision in describing an emotional state. You can use the word in complex rhetorical structures and understand its ironic or metaphorical applications in political or social critiques. For you, 'desapaixonar' is not just a verb, but a complex psychological state that you can navigate with ease and precision.
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Examples Notes & Tips

desapaixonar in 30 Seconds

  • To fall out of love or lose intense passion.
  • Commonly used reflexively as 'desapaixonar-se'.
  • Can apply to people, hobbies, or ideas.
  • A regular -ar verb following standard conjugation.

The Portuguese verb desapaixonar is a fascinating linguistic construct that encapsulates a complex emotional transition: the process of falling out of love or losing a previously intense passion. At its core, it is the morphological opposite of apaixonar (to fall in love). In the Lusophone world, this word isn't just about a sudden stop; it often implies a gradual fading of intensity, a return to a state of emotional neutrality, or the breaking of a 'spell' that passion once cast over an individual. While English speakers typically use the phrase 'to fall out of love,' Portuguese provides a single, potent verb to describe this internal shift.

Emotional Architecture
The verb functions as a mechanism of emotional liberation. It suggests that the 'passion' (paixão) which once dominated the mind is being dismantled. It is frequently used in the reflexive form, desapaixonar-se, because the change happens within the subject.
Contextual Versatility
While most commonly applied to romantic relationships, it can also describe losing interest in a hobby, a political ideology, or even a career path that once felt like a calling. It marks the end of the 'honeymoon phase' in any endeavor.

"Preciso de tempo para me desapaixonar por essa ideia antes de tomar uma decisão racional."

— Common usage in decision-making contexts

Understanding desapaixonar requires recognizing that in Portuguese culture, paixão is often seen as a temporary, intense, and sometimes blinding state. Therefore, desapaixonar is the process of the scales falling from one's eyes. It is often portrayed in Fado music and Brazilian Telenovelas as a painful but necessary evolution toward amor (stable love) or simply moving on. It is not necessarily negative; it can represent the regaining of one's autonomy and logical reasoning after a period of infatuation.

"Depois de tantos anos, ele finalmente se desapaixonou pelo clube de futebol que tanto o fazia sofrer."

Register and Tone
The word is neutral to formal. While you might use 'deixar de gostar' in casual conversation, 'desapaixonar' carries a weight of poetic finality and psychological depth.

"É impossível desapaixonar de um dia para o outro; o coração tem o seu próprio ritmo."

Ultimately, this verb is a tool for self-reflection. When a Portuguese speaker says they are 'desapaixonando,' they are observing their own emotional cooling. It is an active process of detachment that acknowledges the previous intensity while affirming its decline.

Using desapaixonar correctly involves understanding its reflexive nature and the prepositions that accompany it. Most commonly, you will use it as desapaixonar-se de or desapaixonar-se por someone or something. The choice of preposition can sometimes vary by region, but 'de' or 'por' are the standard anchors for the object of your former passion.

The Reflexive Form
In 90% of cases, you must use reflexive pronouns: me, te, se, nos. For example: 'Eu me desapaixonei' (I fell out of love). Without the reflexive pronoun, the verb can imply an external force making someone else lose passion, which is much rarer in daily speech.

"Ela se desapaixonou pelo namorado assim que descobriu a traição."

— Note the use of 'se' and 'pelo' (por + o)

The verb follows the regular conjugation for -ar verbs, making it relatively simple to master once you know the pattern. However, because it describes an emotional process, it is frequently found in the Pretérito Perfeito (completed past action) or the Gerúndio (ongoing process).

Negative Constructions
Often used with 'não consigo' (I can't). 'Não consigo me desapaixonar' is a common trope in romantic literature and music, expressing a lack of control over one's feelings.

"Nós nos desapaixonamos um do outro gradualmente, sem brigas."

In more academic or clinical settings, desapaixonar can be used to describe the objective loss of bias. A judge might be asked to 'desapaixonar-se' from a case to ensure impartiality. This demonstrates the word's reach beyond romance into the realm of logic and neutrality.

You will encounter desapaixonar in a variety of cultural and social settings. It is a staple of emotional vocabulary in the Portuguese-speaking world. From the soulful lyrics of a Fado in Lisbon to the dramatic dialogues of a Novela in Rio de Janeiro, this word performs the heavy lifting of describing the end of an era.

Music and Lyrics
In MPB (Música Popular Brasileira) and Fado, the concept of 'desapaixonar' is often explored as a form of 'desencanto' (disenchantment). Songwriters use it to describe the melancholy of seeing a lover as just an ordinary person again.

"A letra da música falava sobre o difícil processo de se desapaixonar enquanto ainda se vive na mesma casa."

Therapy and Psychology
In modern psychological discourse in Brazil and Portugal, 'desapaixonar-se' is discussed as a healthy stage of moving on from 'limerence' or obsessive infatuation. You might hear it in podcasts or self-help books focusing on emotional intelligence.

"O psicólogo explicou que desapaixonar faz parte do amadurecimento emocional."

You will also hear it in casual gossip (fofoca). Friends might discuss why someone 'se desapaixonou' so quickly, analyzing the reasons behind the sudden loss of interest. It serves as a more sophisticated way of saying 'the spark died.'

For English speakers, the most frequent error when using desapaixonar is forgetting the reflexive pronoun. In English, you 'fall out of love' (no reflexive), but in Portuguese, the action is something you do 'to yourself' (reflexive). Without the me, te, se, nos, the sentence sounds incomplete or grammatically 'naked' to a native ear.

Missing Reflexive Pronoun
Incorrect: 'Eu desapaixonei dele.'
Correct: 'Eu me desapaixonei dele.'
The 'me' is essential to indicate that the change happened within your own emotional state.

"Não diga 'estou desapaixonando'; diga 'estou me desapaixonando'."

Preposition Confusion
Learners often struggle between using 'de' or 'por'. While both are heard, 'desapaixonar-se de' is very common when emphasizing the detachment from the person. 'Desapaixonar-se por' mirrors the structure of 'apaixonar-se por'.

Another mistake is overusing the word. Desapaixonar is a strong word. If you simply stop liking a flavor of ice cream, use 'deixar de gostar'. Reserve desapaixonar for things that once held a significant, passionate grip on your heart or mind.

While desapaixonar is specific, there are several other verbs and phrases that cover similar ground. Choosing the right one depends on the intensity of the feeling and the specific nuance you want to convey.

Desencantar-se
This means 'to become disenchanted.' It is very close to desapaixonar but implies that the 'charm' or 'magic' (encanto) has vanished. It often carries a hint of disappointment.
Deixar de gostar
The most common and casual way to say you don't like something anymore. It is less dramatic than desapaixonar and can be used for anything from people to vegetables.
Esfriar
Literally 'to cool down.' Used to describe a relationship where the passion is fading. 'A relação esfriou' (The relationship cooled down).

"Eu não o odeio, apenas me desencantei; a admiração que eu tinha sumiu."

In summary, desapaixonar is the most precise term for the reversal of passion. While 'deixar de amar' (to stop loving) exists, desapaixonar captures the specific loss of that intense, burning 'paixão' which is distinct from 'amor' in Portuguese culture.

Fun Fact

Because 'paixão' shares a root with 'suffering' (like the Passion of Christ), 'desapaixonar' can etymologically be viewed as 'ceasing to suffer' from an overwhelming emotion.

Pronunciation Guide

UK /dez.a.paj.ʃu.ˈnaɾ/
US /dez.a.paɪ.ʃo.ˈnar/
The primary stress is on the last syllable: 'nar'.
Rhymes With
Amar Cantar Falar Olhar Lembrar Sonhar Andar Pensar
Common Errors
  • Pronouncing the 'x' as 'ks' (it should be 'sh').
  • Forgetting to voice the 's' in 'des-' (it sounds like a 'z' because it is followed by a vowel).
  • Stress on the 'pai' syllable instead of the 'nar' syllable.
  • Not pronouncing the diphthong 'ai' clearly.
  • Over-pronouncing the 'r' like an English 'r' instead of a Portuguese 'r'.
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Examples by Level

1

Eu me desapaixonei por ele.

I fell out of love with him.

Use 'me' with 'eu'.

2

Você se desapaixonou de mim?

Did you fall out of love with me?

Question form with 'se' for 'você'.

3

Ela não se desapaixona fácil.

She doesn't fall out of love easily.

Negative 'não' comes before the reflexive pronoun.

4

Nós nos desapaixonamos ontem.

We fell out of love yesterday.

Past tense '-amos' ending.

5

Eles se desapaixonaram rápido.

They fell out of love quickly.

Third person plural past tense.

6

Eu quero me desapaixonar.

I want to fall out of love.

Infinitive after 'querer'.

7

É difícil desapaixonar.

It is hard to fall out of love.

General statement using the infinitive.

8

Ele se desapaixonou da escola.

He lost his passion for school.

Using 'de' (da = de + a) for a place/concept.

1

Ela se desapaixonou pelo carro antigo.

She lost her passion for the old car.

Reflexive verb with 'pelo' (por + o).

2

Eu me desapaixonei quando vi a verdade.

I fell out of love when I saw the truth.

Past tense indicating a specific moment.

3

Vocês se desapaixonaram do projeto?

Did you guys lose interest in the project?

Plural 'vocês' with 'se'.

4

Ele está se desapaixonando aos poucos.

He is falling out of love little by little.

Present continuous (gerund).

5

Ninguém se desapaixona por querer.

No one falls out of love by choice.

Negative subject 'ninguém'.

6

Eu nunca me desapaixonei tão rápido.

I never fell out of love so fast.

Use of 'nunca' for emphasis.

7

Ela se desapaixonou da vida na cidade.

She lost her passion for city life.

Preposition 'de' used for an abstract concept.

8

Nós precisamos nos desapaixonar desse lugar.

We need to fall out of love with this place.

Reflexive 'nos' matches 'nós'.

1

Se você mentir, eu vou me desapaixonar.

If you lie, I will fall out of love.

Future conditional structure.

2

Ela temia se desapaixonar durante a viagem.

She feared falling out of love during the trip.

Infinitive with reflexive pronoun attached.

3

Eu me desapaixonei porque ele mudou muito.

I fell out of love because he changed a lot.

Conjunction 'porque' explaining the cause.

4

Eles se desapaixonariam se soubessem de tudo.

They would fall out of love if they knew everything.

Conditional '-ariam' and imperfect subjunctive 'soubessem'.

5

Estou tentando me desapaixonar, mas é difícil.

I'm trying to fall out of love, but it's hard.

Verb 'tentar' followed by reflexive infinitive.

6

Ela se desapaixonou pela profissão após o estresse.

She lost her passion for the profession after the stress.

Noun 'estresse' as the catalyst.

7

Nós nos desapaixonamos, mas continuamos amigos.

We fell out of love, but we remained friends.

Contrastive conjunction 'mas'.

8

Como alguém se desapaixona tão de repente?

How does someone fall out of love so suddenly?

Interrogative 'como' with reflexive verb.

1

O processo de se desapaixonar pode levar anos.

The process of falling out of love can take years.

Gerundive noun phrase 'processo de se desapaixonar'.

2

É necessário se desapaixonar para ver a realidade.

It is necessary to fall out of love to see reality.

Impersonal 'É necessário' followed by infinitive.

3

Ela se desapaixonou de tal forma que nem o reconhecia.

She fell out of love in such a way that she didn't even recognize him.

Consecutive clause with 'de tal forma que'.

4

Apesar de tudo, ele nunca se desapaixonou pela arte.

Despite everything, he never lost his passion for art.

Concessive phrase 'Apesar de tudo'.

5

Se eu me desapaixonar, não haverá volta.

If I fall out of love, there will be no turning back.

Future subjunctive 'desapaixonar' (same as infinitive for -ar verbs).

6

Ele se desapaixonou gradualmente, sem perceber.

He fell out of love gradually, without noticing.

Adverb 'gradualmente'.

7

Para se desapaixonar, ela decidiu viajar sozinha.

To fall out of love, she decided to travel alone.

Purpose clause 'Para se desapaixonar'.

8

O autor descreve como o herói se desapaixona da glória.

The author describes how the hero loses his passion for glory.

Literary context.

1

A incapacidade de se desapaixonar tornou-se sua ruína.

The inability to fall out of love became his ruin.

Noun 'incapacidade' governing the infinitive.

2

Desapaixonar-se é, muitas vezes, um ato de sobrevivência.

Falling out of love is, often, an act of survival.

Infinitive as the subject of the sentence.

3

Talvez ela se desapaixone se descobrir a farsa.

Perhaps she will fall out of love if she discovers the farce.

Present subjunctive 'desapaixone' after 'talvez'.

4

O filósofo argumenta que devemos nos desapaixonar das opiniões fixas.

The philosopher argues that we must lose our passion for fixed opinions.

Metaphorical use of the verb.

5

Ela se desapaixonou, não por falta de amor, mas por excesso de convivência.

She fell out of love, not for lack of love, but from too much cohabitation.

Parallel structure 'não por... mas por...'.

6

Ele temia que, ao se desapaixonar, perdesse sua inspiração criativa.

He feared that, upon falling out of love, he would lose his creative inspiration.

Temporal clause 'ao se desapaixonar'.

7

O desapaixonar-se pode ser tão violento quanto o apaixonar-se.

Falling out of love can be as violent as falling in love.

Comparative structure 'tão... quanto'.

8

Se vós vos desapaixonardes, o que restará deste reino?

If you (plural formal) fall out of love, what will remain of this kingdom?

Archaic/Formal 'vós' with future subjunctive.

1

O desapaixonamento analítico permitiu-lhe julgar com imparcialidade.

The analytical falling out of love allowed him to judge with impartiality.

Use of the noun form in a professional context.

2

Subitamente, ele viu-se desapaixonado de todas as ambições mundanas.

Suddenly, he found himself fallen out of love with all worldly ambitions.

Past participle 'desapaixonado' as an adjective.

3

É um equívoco crer que o desapaixonar-se signifique o fim do afeto.

It is a misconception to believe that falling out of love signifies the end of affection.

Complex clause with 'signifique' (subjunctive).

4

A narrativa foca no lento e doloroso desapaixonar da protagonista pela pátria.

The narrative focuses on the protagonist's slow and painful loss of passion for her homeland.

Abstract usage in a literary analysis.

5

Oxalá eu me desapaixone antes que o abismo se torne intransponível.

Would that I fall out of love before the abyss becomes insurmountable.

Archaic 'Oxalá' with present subjunctive.

6

O poema discorre sobre o desapaixonar como uma forma de morte em vida.

The poem discourses on falling out of love as a form of death in life.

Philosophical/Literary register.

7

Caso vos desapaixoneis, sabei que a lealdade ainda é exigida.

Should you fall out of love, know that loyalty is still required.

Conditional 'Caso' with second person plural subjunctive.

8

Ela descreveu o desapaixonar-se como o dissipar de uma névoa matinal.

She described falling out of love as the dissipating of a morning mist.

Metaphorical comparison.

Synonyms

Desenfadar-se Desencantar-se Deixar de amar Esfriar Desinteressar-se Desiludir-se Desprender-se Cair o encanto

Antonyms

Apaixonar-se Encantar-se Amar Interessar-se

Common Collocations

Desapaixonar-se completamente
Desapaixonar-se aos poucos
Difícil de desapaixonar
Desapaixonar-se de repente
Processo de desapaixonar-se
Conseguir se desapaixonar
Desapaixonar-se por alguém
Desapaixonar-se de um ideal
Tentar se desapaixonar
Nunca se desapaixonar

Common Phrases

Me ajude a me desapaixonar.

— A plea for help to stop loving someone. Often used in dramatic contexts.

Me ajude a me desapaixonar, não aguento mais sofrer.

É hora de se desapaixonar.

— A statement indicating it is time to move on. Encouraging emotional detachment.

A relação acabou, agora é hora de se desapaixonar.

Como se desapaixonar em 10 dias?

— A humorous or clickbait-style question about moving on quickly.

Li um artigo sobre como se desapaixonar em 10 dias.

Não é fácil se desapaixonar.

— An empathetic statement about the difficulty of losing feelings.

Eu sei que dói, não é fácil se desapaixonar.

Ele se desapaixonou da noite para o dia.

— Used to describe a very sudden and surprising loss of feelings.

Foi estranho, ele se desapaixonou da noite para o dia.

Quero me desapaixonar de você.

— A direct and painful statement to a partner or ex-partner.

Dói dizer isso, mas quero me desapaixonar de você.

Ela se desapaixonou pelo próprio sonho.

— Metaphorical use meaning someone lost their ambition or drive.

Depois de tanto fracasso, ela se desapaixonou pelo próprio sonho.

Ninguém manda no desapaixonar.

— Meaning you can't control when you stop loving someone.

O coração é assim, ninguém manda no desapaixonar.

O remédio para desapaixonar.

— Often used figuratively to mean a solution for a broken heart.

O tempo é o único remédio para desapaixonar.

Desapaixonar para não sofrer.

— A defensive strategy of trying to lose feelings to avoid pain.

Ela decidiu se desapaixonar para não sofrer mais.

Idioms & Expressions

"Cair a ficha"

— To suddenly realize the truth, which often leads to 'desapaixonar'.

A ficha caiu e eu me desapaixonei na hora.

Informal
"Perder o encanto"

— To lose the fascination or 'magic' one felt for someone.

Depois daquela mentira, ele perdeu o encanto e se desapaixonou.

Neutral
"Ver com outros olhos"

— To see someone in a new (often less romantic) light.

Passei a vê-lo com outros olhos e me desapaixonei.

Neutral
"Esfriar a cabeça"

— To calm down, which can lead to losing a heated passion.

Preciso esfriar a cabeça para me desapaixonar desse plano maluco.

Informal
"Tirar o time de campo"

— To give up or withdraw, often after losing passion.

Me desapaixonei da empresa e tirei meu time de campo.

Slang/Informal
"Dar com a cara na parede"

— To face a harsh reality that forces one to 'desapaixonar'.

Dei com a cara na parede e me desapaixonei do projeto.

Informal
"Pôr os pés no chão"

— To become realistic, ending the 'floating' feeling of passion.

Ela pôs os pés no chão e se desapaixonou do namorado irresponsável.

Neutral
"Água no chope"

— Something that ruins the fun/passion. (Literally: water in the beer).

A notícia foi um balde de água no chope e me desapaixonei pela ideia.

Slang
"Virar a página"

— To move on to a new chapter, implying 'desapaixonar'.

Me desapaixonei e decidi virar a página da minha vida.

Neutral
"Cair do cavalo"

— To be disappointed by a high expectation, causing one to 'desapaixonar'.

Ele caiu do cavalo e se desapaixonou daquela ilusão.

Informal

Word Family

Nouns

Desapaixonamento (The act of falling out of love)
Paixão (Passion)
Apaixonado (A person in love)

Verbs

Apaixonar (To cause passion)
Apaixonar-se (To fall in love)
Desapaixonar (To lose passion)

Adjectives

Desapaixonado (Detached, impartial, or no longer in love)
Apaixonante (Passionate/Exciting)
Apaixonado (In love)

Related

Amor
Desencanto
Desilusão
Afeição
Indiferença
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Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'DES' as 'DESTROY' and 'APAIXONAR' as 'PASSION'. You are DESTROYING the PASSION to become free.

Visual Association

Imagine a red heart slowly turning into a cool, blue ice cube. The heat of passion is leaving.

Word Web

Paixão Coração Fim Gelo Lógica Liberdade Tristeza Maturidade

Challenge

Try to use 'desapaixonar' in a sentence about a food you used to love but now find boring. Write it in the past tense: 'Eu me desapaixonei de...'

Word Origin

Derived from the Portuguese prefix 'des-' (expressing reversal or negation) and the verb 'apaixonar'. 'Apaixonar' comes from 'paixão' (passion), which originates from the Latin 'passio' (suffering or enduring).

Original meaning: To reverse the state of suffering/enduring intense emotion.

Romance (Latin root).

Cultural Context

English speakers often use 'fall out of love', which is more passive. 'Desapaixonar-se' feels slightly more like a process of the self.

The song 'Desapaixonar' by various Brazilian artists. The themes of disenchantment in Machado de Assis's novels. Telenovela tropes where characters 'un-love
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