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Inglés 16:45 TED Talks

How to Raise Kids Who Can Handle Hard Things | Kathryn Hecht | TED

TED · 209,150 vistas · Añadido hace 3 semanas

Subtítulos (305 segmentos)

00:07

I've walked a lot in these shoes today.

00:11

These soles have ground into the pavement of downtown Minneapolis,

00:15

the rubber mats of my car,

00:16

the linoleum of a gas station bathroom

00:19

and the Play Doh-crusted carpet of a daycare.

00:23

Embedded in the tread, a smear a toddler booger.

00:28

Yeah, a little leftover norovirus maybe.

00:32

Maybe if I'm really lucky,

00:34

a little fleck of dog poop.

00:37

Makes you sick just thinking about it, right?

00:41

Audience: Ooh!

00:43

(Laughter)

00:46

(Cheers and applause)

00:51

So, yeah, that happened.

00:55

And while you may not have tasted what I just tasted,

00:59

you felt what I felt.

01:01

Your sympathetic nervous system activated,

01:03

increasing your heart rate and tensing your muscles.

01:07

Your anterior insula flared, creating a feeling of disgust.

01:11

Little nausea, slight gag reflex.

01:15

Am I going to get sick now?

01:18

I don't know.

01:19

(Laughter)

01:20

But I do know this.

01:22

I am so glad you're uncomfortable.

01:26

Congratulations, truly.

01:30

Because that discomfort,

01:32

that is the first essential step to creating confident kids.

01:37

And you can trust me on this one.

01:39

I make kids uncomfortable for a living.

01:43

This week I had an eight-year-old stab me with a needle, twice,

01:47

took a kid into a basement on a spider safari

01:51

and played Uno on the bathroom floor with an understandably reluctant teen.

01:56

It's only Wednesday.

01:58

Now I’m not doing this stuff because I’m an evil psychologist.

02:02

I'm doing this because as a pediatric anxiety and OCD expert,

02:07

I'm a professional bravery coach.

02:10

I'd like to tell you about a kid that I worked with years ago named Sammy.

02:15

Sammy was this sweet little third-grade string bean who lived for adventure.

02:20

Bright, curious, optimistic,

02:23

could tell you everything you honestly never needed to know

02:26

about airport design.

02:28

But Sammy had a fear: bees.

02:32

His brain appreciated bees, vital pollinators.

02:37

His body, however, reacted like they were flying yellow needles

02:40

with some anger issues.

02:43

As soon as those leaves turned green,

02:45

Sammy would initiate his own personal bee safety protocol.

02:48

No sweets outside, social distancing from the flowers,

02:52

even staying inside during his family's cabin trips.

02:56

When Sammy got to me,

02:58

he and his parents had tried everything to get rid of this anxiety.

03:02

Deep breathing, distraction.

03:04

No luck.

03:05

They had also debated the fear endlessly.

03:09

His parents would reassure him,

03:10

"You won't get stung."

03:12

Sammy reminded his parents they were not fortune telling wizards in four words:

03:17

"How do you know?"

03:21

This phobia was stealing Sammy's childhood

03:24

one sunny summer day at a time.

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