In 15 Seconds
- To show leniency or mercy.
- Common in informal/semi-formal settings.
- Used when someone makes minor mistakes.
- Implies 'cutting someone some slack'.
Meaning
This phrase is used when you decide to be easy on someone or give them a break. It is like granting a small favor or showing mercy when someone makes a mistake or is struggling.
Key Examples
3 of 10Texting a coworker about a late report
O chefe me deu uma colher de chá e aceitou o relatório hoje.
The boss cut me some slack and accepted the report today.
Asking a teacher for more time on an assignment
Professor, dá uma colher de chá e deixa eu entregar amanhã?
Professor, give me a break and let me hand it in tomorrow?
Playing a video game with a beginner friend
Vou te dar uma colher de chá nessa partida porque você é novo.
I'll take it easy on you this match because you're new.
Cultural Background
In Brazil, the 'colher de chá' is a fundamental part of social negotiation. It's often expected that rules have a little 'flexibility' if you ask nicely. While used in Portugal, you might more frequently hear 'dar uma abébia' in similar contexts, especially in sports or games. In African Lusophone countries, the phrase is understood but often replaced by more direct terms like 'dar uma mão' or local slang for favors. Even in modern startups in São Paulo, 'colher de chá' is used to soften the blow of strict KPIs or deadlines, maintaining a 'friendly' company culture.
Use it to be likable
Asking for a 'colher de chá' instead of 'ajuda' (help) makes you sound more native and less demanding.
Don't overdo it
If you ask for a 'colher de chá' every day, people will think you are lazy or taking advantage of them.
In 15 Seconds
- To show leniency or mercy.
- Common in informal/semi-formal settings.
- Used when someone makes minor mistakes.
- Implies 'cutting someone some slack'.
What It Means
Ever had a boss who ignored your late arrival?
That is exactly what this phrase captures perfectly.
It means showing leniency or giving someone a break.
Imagine life is a bitter cup of black coffee.
Dar uma colher de chá adds the sweetness.
You are choosing to be kind instead of strict.
It is not about a massive life-changing favor.
It is about a small, helpful, merciful gesture.
You are essentially cutting someone some much-needed slack.
It feels warm, supportive, and very humanly relatable.
Think of it as the opposite of being 'by the book.'
Sometimes the rules are meant to be slightly bent.
How To Use It
You use the verb dar (to give) first.
Then you add uma colher de chá right after.
Usually, you specify who gets the tea spoon.
Dar uma colher de chá para o João.
You can also use object pronouns like me.
Pode me dar uma colher de chá hoje?
It works best in spoken, everyday Brazilian Portuguese.
It is common in offices and schools too.
Don't worry about the actual tea or spoons.
Nobody is going to bring you a hot beverage.
If they do, you probably have a different situation!
Just focus on the act of being lenient.
Real-Life Examples
Imagine you are five minutes late for a meeting.
Your boss says: Vou te dar uma colher de chá.
This means you won't get a formal warning today.
Or you are playing a video game with friends.
You keep losing, so your friend plays poorly.
They are giving you a colher de chá.
Maybe you are haggling for a discount on Shopee.
You ask the seller for a little 'tea spoon.'
It is a very common way to ask for mercy.
Students use it with teachers before big exam deadlines.
Professor, dá uma colher de chá e adia o trabalho?
It is the ultimate 'please be nice' request.
When To Use It
Use it when someone makes a minor, honest mistake.
It is perfect for low-stakes social or professional settings.
Use it when you want to sound approachable and kind.
It works great during Zoom calls or Slack chats.
If a friend is going through a tough breakup.
Give them a colher de chá regarding their chores.
It is ideal for lighthearted negotiations with your kids.
Use it when the rules feel a bit too rigid.
It adds a layer of empathy to your conversation.
It shows you value the person over the policy.
Plus, it makes you sound like a local pro.
When NOT To Use It
Avoid this phrase in high-level legal court proceedings.
Judges generally do not hand out spoons of tea.
Don't use it if the mistake was truly catastrophic.
If someone burns down the office, tea won't help.
It is too informal for a very stiff funeral.
Avoid it when the person is being intentionally malicious.
Leniency should be earned through effort or bad luck.
Don't use it if you are being strictly professional.
In a formal contract negotiation, use concessão instead.
Using it there might make you sound too casual.
You don't want to sound like a teenager's TikTok.
Save it for when a little warmth is appropriate.
Common Mistakes
Dar uma colher de café
✓Dar uma colher de chá
Coffee spoons are too small for this much mercy!
Dar uma xícara de chá
✓Dar uma colher de chá
A whole cup is just way too much tea.
Fazer uma colher de chá
✓Dar uma colher de chá
You don't 'make' the spoon; you 'give' it.
Learners often try to use ajudar (to help) instead.
While correct, it lacks the 'mercy' nuance of tea.
Don't confuse it with quebrar o galho (helping out).
Quebrar o galho is solving a specific technical problem.
Colher de chá is about forgiving a specific failure.
Make sure you use the feminine uma correctly.
It's always uma colher, never um colher.
Gender matters even when we're being nice!
Similar Expressions
Quebrar um galho is the most famous cousin.
It means to help someone out in a pinch.
Aliviar a barra is a bit more slangy.
It literally means 'to lighten the weight' for someone.
Fazer um favor is the plain, boring version.
Passar o pano is very popular on Brazilian Twitter.
It means to make excuses for someone's bad behavior.
Dar uma canja is more common in musical contexts.
It means letting someone perform or join in easily.
Fechar os olhos para means to ignore a mistake.
Each has a slightly different flavor of kindness.
But only one involves a metaphorical kitchen utensil.
Common Variations
Sometimes people say dar uma colherzinha (a little spoon).
This makes the request sound even more cute/innocent.
You might hear não me deu nem uma colher de chá.
This is a common complaint when someone is strict.
In some regions, people just say dá um chá.
But colher de chá remains the undisputed heavyweight champion.
You can also say preciso de uma colher de chá.
This means 'I really need a break right now.'
It's a versatile phrase that survives most regional shifts.
Whether in Rio or Lisbon, people will understand you.
Just keep the spoon small and the intention big.
Memory Trick
Imagine a very angry, red-faced boss holding a tiny spoon.
On the spoon is a single, magical, glowing tea leaf.
Instead of firing you, he hands you the spoon.
The tea leaf smells like relaxation and second chances.
Visualize the 'C' in Colher and Chá as 'C' for 'Compassion.'
You are giving someone a tiny dose of compassion.
It's easier to remember if you think of a 'sweetener.'
A spoon of tea makes the bitter truth easier.
If you forget the word chá, just think of Britain.
Then remember Brazilians love tea for 'mercy' not 'time.'
Tiny spoon, big break, happy ending.
Quick FAQ
Is this used in Portugal?
Yes, though Brazilians use it much more frequently.
Can I use it with my parents?
Absolutely, it is perfect for asking for late curfews.
Is it rude?
Not at all, it's actually quite friendly and soft.
Does it imply a big favor?
No, it's usually for small, everyday acts of leniency.
Should I bring actual tea?
Only if you want to be funny (and confusing).
Can I use it at a bank?
Maybe with a very friendly clerk, but probably not.
Is there a formal version?
Use ser flexível or abrir uma exceção instead.
Why tea and not coffee?
Tea is traditionally seen as calming and medicinal.
Can I say 'spoon of soup'?
No, that's just a recipe for linguistic disaster.
Usage Notes
This phrase is neutral to informal. Use it freely in conversations with friends, family, and coworkers. Avoid it in very formal legal settings or when discussing severe misconduct.
Use it to be likable
Asking for a 'colher de chá' instead of 'ajuda' (help) makes you sound more native and less demanding.
Don't overdo it
If you ask for a 'colher de chá' every day, people will think you are lazy or taking advantage of them.
The 'Aí' addition
In Brazil, adding 'aí' at the end ('Dá uma colher de chá aí!') makes it sound much more natural and casual.
Examples
10O chefe me deu uma colher de chá e aceitou o relatório hoje.
The boss cut me some slack and accepted the report today.
Shows the boss was lenient despite the missed deadline.
Professor, dá uma colher de chá e deixa eu entregar amanhã?
Professor, give me a break and let me hand it in tomorrow?
A classic student request for a small favor.
Vou te dar uma colher de chá nessa partida porque você é novo.
I'll take it easy on you this match because you're new.
Used when intentionally playing less competitively to help someone.
Hoje vou dar uma colher de chá, mas amanhã você arruma o quarto.
I'll give you a pass today, but tomorrow you clean the room.
Expresses parental leniency for one day.
A dieta me deu uma colher de chá hoje: comi pizza!
The diet gave me a break today: I ate pizza!
Personifies the diet to explain a 'cheat' moment.
Sem problemas, vamos dar uma colher de chá e remarcar.
No problem, we'll give you a pass and reschedule.
Softens the impact of a professional error.
Eu sei que ele errou, mas você podia dar uma colher de chá pra ele.
I know he messed up, but you could cut him some slack.
Advocating for mercy toward someone else.
O motorista não me deu nem uma colher de chá e saiu antes de eu chegar.
The driver didn't even give me a second and left before I arrived.
Negative usage showing someone was being extremely strict.
✗ Você pode me dar uma colher de café? → ✓ Você pode me dar uma colher de chá?
Can you give me a coffee spoon? → Can you cut me some slack?
Learners often mix up the types of spoons. 'Café' spoon is literal.
✗ O chefe fez uma colher de chá. → ✓ O chefe deu uma colher de chá.
The boss made a tea spoon. → The boss cut some slack.
The verb must be 'dar' (to give), not 'fazer' (to make).
Test Yourself
Complete the sentence with the correct form of the verb 'dar'.
Ontem, o guarda me _______ uma colher de chá e não me multou.
'Ontem' indicates the past (preterite), and 'o guarda' is third person singular.
Which situation best fits the phrase 'dar uma colher de chá'?
A situation where...
This represents leniency and giving someone a second chance, which is the heart of the idiom.
Complete the dialogue.
Filho: 'Pai, posso chegar meia hora mais tarde hoje?' Pai: 'Hum... tá bom, vou _______ uma colher de chá só hoje.'
The verb used with 'colher de chá' is always 'dar'.
Match the phrase to the most likely speaker.
'Pô cara, dá uma colher de chá, eu sou novo no jogo!'
The speaker is asking for an advantage or leniency because they are 'novo' (new).
🎉 Score: /4
Visual Learning Aids
Practice Bank
4 exercisesOntem, o guarda me _______ uma colher de chá e não me multou.
'Ontem' indicates the past (preterite), and 'o guarda' is third person singular.
A situation where...
This represents leniency and giving someone a second chance, which is the heart of the idiom.
Filho: 'Pai, posso chegar meia hora mais tarde hoje?' Pai: 'Hum... tá bom, vou _______ uma colher de chá só hoje.'
The verb used with 'colher de chá' is always 'dar'.
'Pô cara, dá uma colher de chá, eu sou novo no jogo!'
The speaker is asking for an advantage or leniency because they are 'novo' (new).
🎉 Score: /4
Video Tutorials
Find video tutorials on YouTube for this phrase.
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsYes! You can say 'Vou me dar uma colher de chá e descansar hoje' (I'll give myself a break and rest today).
If you have a friendly relationship, yes. If it's a very formal corporate environment, stick to 'abrir uma exceção'.
It is 'dar umas colheres de chá', but it's rarely used in the plural. We usually keep it singular even for multiple favors.
Yes, but 'dar uma abébia' is a very common alternative there.
It's more of an informal idiom than 'slang'. It's widely accepted in most casual conversations.
No, that would be literal and people wouldn't understand the idiom.
Yes: 'Não dar colher de chá' means to be very strict or ruthless.
Use 'Você poderia me dar uma colher de chá?'
No, 'chá de bebê' is a baby shower. The only connection is the word 'tea'.
In texts, emails to friends, or informal blogs, yes. In academic papers, no.
Related Phrases
quebrar um galho
similarTo solve a problem in a temporary or makeshift way.
dar um desconto
synonymTo give a break or overlook a fault.
abrir uma exceção
formal equivalentTo make an exception.
fazer vista grossa
similarTo turn a blind eye.
