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Try Not To Laugh | 420 Jokes | Laugh Factory Stand Up Comedy
Learning Stats
CEFR Level
Difficulty
Subtitles (312 segments)
Weed's getting a bad rap. I don't mean a
like a blunt rap, you know. I mean,
people talk, you know, people talk to
[ __ ] about it. You know, you know,
marijuana affects the memory. That's
[ __ ] I never forget to smoke.
[Music]
You said weed makes you stupid. It
doesn't make you stupid. It makes you
smarter. All right. Been smoking weed
since high school. I grew up in San
Gabriel Valley in LA. We had what's
called off-campus lunch. I don't know if
you remember that. That's where you can
go off campus, smoke weed,
eat, then you had to come back for some
reason. It was something.
So, one time I came back lit and we had
uh intermediate ma I had intermediate
math after lunch, right? And one time
came back lit and we had to take a test
in fractions. It was a pop quiz. And one
of the questions on the test was,
"What's the difference between a quarter
and an eighth?
I wrote 50 bucks.
Pretty much everybody smokes pot when
you think about I just found out my
15-year-old cousin smokes pot. What the
[ __ ] 15-year-old wants to be an adult
before he even grows up. I want to try
to help curb the habit, discourage him
from really turning it into something
bad. So, I told him I smoke a little.
Uh, didn't expect a reaction. His eyes
got so big, like so excited. He was
like, "Dude, Adam, dude, you smoke weed?
Dude, how have we not smoked together
yet?
I was like, "Dude, how have we not
smoked together yet? 5 years ago, you
were 10. What the [ __ ] are you talking
about?
You just started using deodorant, man.
Take it easy."
Plus, I have this rule. I can't smoke
pot with anybody who didn't grow up
watching Ducktales. That's just one of
my rules about smoking weed.
Yeah, that's a good rule.
Doug Tales.
Yeah, they're the ptheads. That's how
you find them. Yeah. Knew you right
here.
Today, I just renewed my weed card. Uh,
thank you. It's my second card. My first
card, I got 3 days into being in Los
Angeles. I didn't even have an apartment
yet. My first purchase was a weed
cookie. I got an edible and it was the
coolest thing I'd ever gotten up to that
point in my life cuz I'd never seen
branding on drugs. It had a logo, Aunt
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