In 15 Seconds
- Used to say 'I don't hold a grudge against you.'
- Requires the preposition 'à' and the pronoun 'en'.
- Elegant way to accept an apology or show forgiveness.
Meaning
This phrase actually means to hold a grudge or feel resentful toward someone for something they did. It is like saying 'I'm not mad at you' or 'Don't be angry with me' in a slightly more elegant way.
Key Examples
3 of 6Accepting a late RSVP
Ne vous inquiétez pas pour le retard, je ne vous en tiens pas rigueur.
Don't worry about the delay, I don't hold it against you.
Texting a friend who forgot a birthday
Tu as oublié mon anniv ? Allez, je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur pour cette fois !
You forgot my birthday? Come on, I won't hold it against you this time!
A waiter apologizing for a slow meal
Le service était lent, mais la cuisine était si bonne qu'on ne vous en tient pas rigueur.
The service was slow, but the food was so good we don't hold it against you.
Cultural Background
In French professional culture, 'tenir rigueur' is a key phrase for maintaining 'la face' (face). It allows for a formal acknowledgment of error without the emotional messiness of a personal apology. While understood, Quebecers might more frequently use 'en vouloir à' or even 'garder une crotte sur le cœur' (informal) for holding a grudge. 'Tenir rigueur' remains very formal. In many African cultures, social harmony is paramount. 'Tenir rigueur' might be used in formal speeches or letters to emphasize the restoration of peace between parties. This is a 'gold standard' phrase in diplomacy. It allows a state to express that a specific action by another state was noted and judged, but will not lead to a total breakdown in relations.
The 'En' Rule
Always include 'en' if you aren't specifying the reason in the same sentence. 'Je lui en tiens rigueur' sounds native; 'Je lui tiens rigueur' sounds incomplete.
Don't use with 'pour'
Never say 'tenir rigueur pour quelqu'un'. It is always 'à quelqu'un'.
In 15 Seconds
- Used to say 'I don't hold a grudge against you.'
- Requires the preposition 'à' and the pronoun 'en'.
- Elegant way to accept an apology or show forgiveness.
What It Means
Think of tenir rigueur as carrying a little weight of resentment. It is not about being 'close' to someone physically. It is about the emotional distance created by a mistake. When you use it, you are talking about blame. You are either asking for forgiveness or promising not to stay mad. It is the French way of saying 'I won't hold it against you.'
How To Use It
You always need the preposition à. You hold rigor *to* someone. The structure is en tenir rigueur à [someone]. If you want to mention the reason, use pour. For example: Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur. That means 'I don't hold it against you.' It sounds sophisticated but very sincere. It is perfect for smoothing over a social hiccup.
When To Use It
Use it when someone is apologizing to you. It works great when a friend cancels plans last minute. You can also use it in a professional email. If a colleague misses a deadline, this phrase shows you are gracious. It is the ultimate 'no hard feelings' card. Use it when you want to sound like a mature, composed adult.
When NOT To Use It
Do not use it for massive, life-altering betrayals. If someone steals your car, tenir rigueur is too polite. It is for social blunders, not crimes of passion! Also, avoid it in super slangy street conversations. Your teenage cousins might think you sound like a 19th-century poet. Stick to c'est pas grave for the tiny, everyday stuff.
Cultural Background
French culture places a high value on social etiquette and 'la politesse'. This phrase comes from the idea of 'rigor'—being strict or harsh. By 'holding rigor', you are choosing to be a strict judge. By refusing to hold it, you are showing 'grandeur d'âme' (nobility of spirit). It has been a staple of elegant French since the classical era.
Common Variations
You will often see it in the negative: ne pas en tenir rigueur. You might also hear garder rancune, which is much more aggressive. En vouloir à quelqu'un is the more common, everyday version. If en vouloir à is a spicy taco, tenir rigueur is a fine wine. Both get the job done, but one has more class.
Usage Notes
This is a B2-level phrase because it requires mastering the 'en' pronoun and the 'à' preposition structure. It sits comfortably in the 'formal' to 'neutral' register.
The 'En' Rule
Always include 'en' if you aren't specifying the reason in the same sentence. 'Je lui en tiens rigueur' sounds native; 'Je lui tiens rigueur' sounds incomplete.
Don't use with 'pour'
Never say 'tenir rigueur pour quelqu'un'. It is always 'à quelqu'un'.
The Power of the Negative
90% of the time, you will use this in the negative to be polite. It's a social lubricant.
Email Elegance
Use 'J'espère que vous ne m'en tiendrez pas rigueur' to end an email where you admit a small mistake. It's very professional.
Examples
6Ne vous inquiétez pas pour le retard, je ne vous en tiens pas rigueur.
Don't worry about the delay, I don't hold it against you.
Very polite and professional way to put someone at ease.
Tu as oublié mon anniv ? Allez, je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur pour cette fois !
You forgot my birthday? Come on, I won't hold it against you this time!
Adds a touch of class to a casual forgiveness.
Le service était lent, mais la cuisine était si bonne qu'on ne vous en tient pas rigueur.
The service was slow, but the food was so good we don't hold it against you.
A sophisticated way to give feedback without being 'that' customer.
Ta blague était nulle, mais je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur car tu as payé le café.
Your joke was terrible, but I won't hold it against you because you paid for the coffee.
Uses formal phrasing for a funny, low-stakes situation.
Je t'aime trop pour t'en tenir rigueur éternellement.
I love you too much to hold a grudge against you forever.
Shows deep sincerity and a desire to move forward.
Nous ne vous tenons pas rigueur de cet incident technique.
We do not hold this technical incident against you.
Standard corporate phrasing for resolving a conflict.
Test Yourself
Fill in the missing pronouns (lui, leur, en, m').
Je ne ___ ___ tiens pas rigueur pour ce petit oubli.
In a friendly context, 'Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur' is the most natural way to say 'I don't hold it against you.'
Which sentence is grammatically correct?
Select the correct formal apology.
The 'en' is necessary to represent the 'thing' being forgiven, and 'm'' is the indirect object pronoun.
Complete the dialogue with the most appropriate response.
A: 'Je suis désolé d'avoir perdu ton livre.' B: '_________________'
B is forgiving A, so the negative form 'Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur' is correct.
Match the phrase to the context.
When would you say 'Je lui en tiens rigueur'?
'Tenir rigueur' expresses a lasting resentment.
🎉 Score: /4
Visual Learning Aids
Resentment Levels
Formal
- • Tenir rigueur
- • Faire grief
Neutral
- • En vouloir à
- • Avoir de la rancune
Informal
- • Garder une dent
- • Faire la gueule
Practice Bank
4 exercisesJe ne ___ ___ tiens pas rigueur pour ce petit oubli.
In a friendly context, 'Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur' is the most natural way to say 'I don't hold it against you.'
Select the correct formal apology.
The 'en' is necessary to represent the 'thing' being forgiven, and 'm'' is the indirect object pronoun.
A: 'Je suis désolé d'avoir perdu ton livre.' B: '_________________'
B is forgiving A, so the negative form 'Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur' is correct.
When would you say 'Je lui en tiens rigueur'?
'Tenir rigueur' expresses a lasting resentment.
🎉 Score: /4
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsNo, it can be used for small things like being 5 minutes late, especially in professional contexts to show you take the mistake seriously.
Yes, but it sounds a bit formal. 'Je t'en veux' is more common between close friends unless you are being intentionally dramatic or serious.
'Rancune' is the feeling of bitterness. 'Rigueur' in this phrase is the attitude of severity you show to the person.
'Je ne suis pas rancunier' (general trait) or 'Je ne t'en tiens pas rigueur' (specific situation).
Yes, 'Il m'en a tenu rigueur' is very common when talking about old stories.
No, 'rigueur' is always singular in this idiom.
Rarely. You don't usually 'tenir rigueur' to yourself; you would say 'Je m'en veux' (I blame myself).
It is common in both, but it shines in formal writing and 'polite' speaking.
You should understand it at B1, but you aren't expected to produce it perfectly until B2.
'Pardonner' (to forgive) or 'passer l'éponge' (to wipe the slate clean).
Related Phrases
en vouloir à quelqu'un
similarTo be mad at someone.
garder rancune
synonymTo hold a grudge.
passer l'éponge
contrastTo wipe the slate clean / to forgive.
faire grief à quelqu'un
specialized formTo criticize/blame someone formally.
rancunier
builds onA person who holds grudges.
