In 15 Seconds
- Literally means to pull or lead by the hand.
- Used for romantic couples or parents and children.
- Symbolizes a committed relationship or a deep emotional bond.
Meaning
This phrase literally means to hold hands. It is the go-to way to describe physical intimacy between couples or a sweet moment between family members.
Key Examples
3 of 6Seeing a couple at the mall
你看，那对情侣在牵手。
Look, that couple is holding hands.
A parent talking to a child near a busy road
过马路要跟妈妈牵手。
You need to hold Mommy's hand to cross the road.
A formal wedding speech
祝你们永远牵手走下去。
I wish for you two to walk together holding hands forever.
Cultural Background
The phrase carries deep weight due to the classic idiom '执子之手，与子偕老,' which means 'Hold your hand and grow old with you.' While modern youth are more open, holding hands remains the primary symbol of a confirmed romantic relationship in China.
The Handshake Trap
Never use `牵手` in a meeting. Use `握手` (wòshǒu) instead. Holding your client's hand with `牵手` will lead to a very different kind of meeting!
The 'Success' Phrase
If someone says they 'successfully held hands' (`牵手成功`), they mean they've officially started dating someone. It's a popular slang from dating TV shows.
In 15 Seconds
- Literally means to pull or lead by the hand.
- Used for romantic couples or parents and children.
- Symbolizes a committed relationship or a deep emotional bond.
What It Means
牵手 is a beautiful, simple way to say 'holding hands.' The first character 牵 means to lead or pull gently. The second character 手 is your hand. Together, they create an image of two people connected. It is not just a physical action. It often implies a romantic relationship or a deep bond. Think of it as the universal sign for 'we are together.'
How To Use It
You use it as a verb. You can say 'they are holding hands' or 'I want to hold your hand.' It is very flexible. You can use it in a romantic sense. You can also use it for parents and children. In songs and movies, it is a huge symbol of love. It is the 'PG' version of showing affection in public. It is sweet, simple, and very common.
When To Use It
Use it when you see a cute couple in the park. Use it when you are talking about your new crush. It is perfect for storytelling. If you are at a wedding, you will hear this a lot. It is great for social media captions. A photo of two hands with the caption 牵手 says everything. It feels warm and genuine.
When NOT To Use It
Do not use this for business handshakes. That is 握手. If you use 牵手 with your boss, things will get awkward fast! Also, do not use it for grabbing someone's arm. It specifically refers to palm-to-palm or finger-interlocking contact. It is too intimate for strangers. If a stranger 'leads' your hand, that is a different story entirely!
Cultural Background
In Chinese culture, public displays of affection (PDA) were traditionally very rare. 牵手 was often the maximum level of PDA allowed. Even today, it holds a special place. It represents a 'pure' and 'steady' love. There is a famous old saying about growing old together while holding hands. It is seen as a promise of commitment. It is more than just a gesture; it is a milestone.
Common Variations
You might hear 拉手 in northern China or in children's songs. 拉手 feels a bit more casual or childish. 牵手 feels more poetic and romantic. In pop culture, you might see 牵手成功. This means two people 'matched' on a dating show. It literally means they 'successfully held hands.' It is the ultimate goal of a first date!
Usage Notes
The phrase is socially safe and very common. Just remember that the 'leading' aspect of `牵` implies a gentle connection, making it much more emotional than a simple physical touch.
The Handshake Trap
Never use `牵手` in a meeting. Use `握手` (wòshǒu) instead. Holding your client's hand with `牵手` will lead to a very different kind of meeting!
The 'Success' Phrase
If someone says they 'successfully held hands' (`牵手成功`), they mean they've officially started dating someone. It's a popular slang from dating TV shows.
Song Lyrics
If you want to practice this word, listen to Mando-pop. Almost every love song uses `牵手` at least once. It's the ultimate 'love' keyword.
Examples
6你看，那对情侣在牵手。
Look, that couple is holding hands.
A standard observation of a romantic couple.
过马路要跟妈妈牵手。
You need to hold Mommy's hand to cross the road.
Used here for safety and guidance.
祝你们永远牵手走下去。
I wish for you two to walk together holding hands forever.
Metaphorical use meaning 'stay together'.
我好想和你牵手看电影。
I really want to hold your hand and watch a movie.
Sweet and slightly flirtatious.
你什么时候才能牵手成功啊？
When are you finally going to 'successfully hold hands' (find a partner)?
References dating show terminology.
那是我们第一次牵手的地方。
That is the place where we held hands for the first time.
Focuses on the romantic milestone.
Test Yourself
Choose the correct word for a romantic walk.
他们在公园里___散步。
`牵手` is for romantic hand-holding, while `握手` is a handshake and `拍手` is clapping.
Which word fits a parent-child context?
孩子，快___住爸爸的手。
`牵` means to lead or hold gently, perfect for a parent-child bond.
🎉 Score: /2
Visual Learning Aids
Formality of Holding Hands
Kids playing or close friends joking.
拉拉手
Standard description of couples.
他们在牵手
Wedding vows or literature.
执子之手
Where to use 牵手
Date Night
Walking in the park
Parenting
Crossing the street
Weddings
Speeches and vows
Dating Shows
Matching with a partner
Practice Bank
2 exercises他们在公园里___散步。
`牵手` is for romantic hand-holding, while `握手` is a handshake and `拍手` is clapping.
孩子，快___住爸爸的手。
`牵` means to lead or hold gently, perfect for a parent-child bond.
🎉 Score: /2
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questions牵手 sounds more romantic and elegant. 拉手 is more colloquial and is often used by children or in northern dialects.
No, absolutely not. For business, use 握手 (wòshǒu), which means 'to shake hands.' 牵手 implies romance or family.
It is primarily a verb (to hold hands), but it can be used as a noun in titles or specific phrases like 这是一次甜蜜的牵手 (This is a sweet hand-holding).
You can say 我想和你牵手 (Wǒ xiǎng hé nǐ qiānshǒu). It's a very direct and sweet way to express affection.
In some parts of China, close female friends might hold hands while walking, but 牵手 is still most commonly associated with couples.
It means two people have successfully become a couple, usually used in the context of dating apps or TV shows like 非诚勿扰.
Not really. For a dog on a leash, you would use 牵狗 (qiān gǒu). 牵手 specifically requires 'hands'.
It is neutral. It is used in daily conversation, but it's also beautiful enough to be used in formal poetry or wedding scripts.
The most famous is 执子之手，与子偕老 (Zhí zǐ zhī shǒu, yǔ zǐ xié lǎo), which means holding hands and growing old together.
Yes, you can use it to describe an older sibling leading a younger one, like 哥哥牵着妹妹的手.
Related Phrases
握手 (To shake hands)
拉手 (To pull/hold hands - casual)
执子之手 (To hold your hand - poetic)
分手 (To break up - literally 'split hands')
手牵手 (Hand in hand)
