In 15 Seconds
- The standard, most common way to say 'I'm sorry'.
- Used for genuine mistakes, lateness, or causing minor trouble.
- Literally means 'cannot face you' due to feeling ashamed.
- Appropriate for both friends and professional settings.
Meaning
This is the classic way to say 'I'm sorry' when you've made a mistake or let someone down. It carries a bit more weight than a casual 'excuse me' and shows you truly feel bad.
Key Examples
3 of 6Being late for a lunch date
对不起,我迟到了。
Sorry, I'm late.
Bumping into a stranger on the subway
对不起,没关系吧?
I'm sorry, are you okay?
A formal apology to a manager
老板,对不起,我做错了。
Boss, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
Cultural Background
Apologizing is essential for maintaining harmony. Similar to China, but often uses '不好意思' even more frequently.
Tone matters
Say it with a sincere face.
In 15 Seconds
- The standard, most common way to say 'I'm sorry'.
- Used for genuine mistakes, lateness, or causing minor trouble.
- Literally means 'cannot face you' due to feeling ashamed.
- Appropriate for both friends and professional settings.
What It Means
对不起 (duì bù qǐ) is the gold standard for apologies in Chinese. Literally, it means you 'cannot face' the person because of your actions. It suggests a sense of debt or shame. You are admitting you did something wrong. It is more sincere than a simple 'my bad.'
How To Use It
Use it when you are late for a coffee date. Use it when you accidentally step on someone's foot. You can place it at the start of a sentence. For example, 对不起,我忘了 means 'Sorry, I forgot.' It is a complete thought on its own too. Just say it with a small nod. It shows you take responsibility for the hiccup.
When To Use It
You should use this in most everyday social mishaps. Use it at a restaurant if you spill water. Use it in a meeting if you interrupt someone. It works perfectly when texting a friend you've kept waiting. It is the 'safety' phrase for any social blunder. If you feel a tiny bit of guilt, this is your go-to.
When NOT To Use It
Don't use it to mean 'Excuse me, may I pass?' For that, use 请让一下. Don't use it to ask for a favor or get attention. That is usually 不好意思. If you are at a funeral, 对不起 might sound like you caused the death! Use words of sympathy instead. Avoid it for very minor things like a tiny sneeze.
Cultural Background
Chinese culture values 'face' and social harmony. Saying 对不起 restores that balance. Historically, it implies you are too ashamed to look them in the eye. In modern times, it is less dramatic but still very polite. It is a bridge that mends small cracks in relationships. It shows you are a person of good character and 'ren' (humanity).
Common Variations
If you want to sound extra sorry, add 非常 (fēicháng) in front. That makes it 'Very sorry.' If you are talking to a boss, use 真对不起. For tiny mistakes with friends, many people swap this for 不好意思. It's like the difference between 'I'm sorry' and 'My apologies.' Both work, but one feels a bit more official.
Usage Notes
This phrase is neutral and safe for all ages and social classes. The main 'gotcha' is using it for 'Excuse me' when you just want to ask a question—stick to `请问` for that.
Tone matters
Say it with a sincere face.
Examples
6对不起,我迟到了。
Sorry, I'm late.
A very common and necessary use for social punctuality.
对不起,没关系吧?
I'm sorry, are you okay?
Polite way to check on someone after a physical bump.
老板,对不起,我做错了。
Boss, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
Directly taking responsibility in a professional setting.
对不起!我以为这是我的。
Sorry! I thought this was mine.
A lighthearted but necessary apology for a funny mistake.
亲爱的,对不起,我不应该那样说。
Honey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
Used to mend emotional connections and express regret.
真对不起,我帮你擦擦。
I'm so sorry, let me help you wipe it.
Adding '真' (really) increases the sincerity of the apology.
Test Yourself
Choose the best phrase for bumping into someone.
You bump into someone. What do you say?
对不起 is the correct apology.
🎉 Score: /1
Visual Learning Aids
Apology Intensity Spectrum
Minor inconveniences
不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si)
Standard sincere apology
对不起 (duì bù qǐ)
Deep regret/Official
抱歉 (bào qiàn)
When to say Duibuqi
Lateness
Late for a meeting
Accidents
Spilling coffee
Mistakes
Wrong email sent
Social Blunders
Forgetting a name
Practice Bank
1 exercisesYou bump into someone. What do you say?
对不起 is the correct apology.
🎉 Score: /1
Frequently Asked Questions
1 questionsIt is neutral.
Related Phrases
不好意思
similarExcuse me / embarrassed
抱歉
synonymApologetic