In 15 Seconds
- A polite way to deflect compliments or apologies.
- Shows humility and makes the speaker appear grounded.
- Essential for smooth social interactions in Chinese culture.
Meaning
This is a versatile phrase used to stop someone from being too humble, overly self-critical, or even too complimentary. It's like saying 'Don't be like that' or 'Don't mention it' in a warm, polite way.
Key Examples
3 of 6A friend thanks you profusely for a small gift
别这么说，这是我应该做的。
Don't say that, it's the least I could do.
A colleague praises your presentation skills
别这么说，我还有很多要学习的地方。
Don't say that, I still have a lot to learn.
A friend is being overly self-critical about their cooking
别这么说，我觉得很好吃！
Don't say that, I think it's delicious!
Cultural Background
Modesty is highly valued. Accepting a compliment directly can be seen as arrogant. Similar to the mainland, but often uses a softer tone and more particles like '啦' or '喔'. Younger generations may be more comfortable accepting compliments directly, but the phrase remains a staple.
Smile!
Always smile when you say this to ensure it sounds humble and not dismissive.
The Modesty Dance
Don't be afraid to use this even if you feel proud. It's a social ritual.
In 15 Seconds
- A polite way to deflect compliments or apologies.
- Shows humility and makes the speaker appear grounded.
- Essential for smooth social interactions in Chinese culture.
What It Means
别这么说 is your go-to phrase for redirecting a conversation. It literally means 'don't say it this way.' You use it when someone says something that makes you feel a bit awkward. This could be a huge compliment that makes you blush. It could also be a friend apologizing too much for a small mistake. It is the ultimate social lubricant in Chinese culture.
How To Use It
Think of this as a polite 'stop' button. When someone says 'I'm so sorry I'm late' (even if it's just two minutes), you say 别这么说. When a colleague says 'You are a genius for fixing that spreadsheet,' you say 别这么说. It softens the interaction. You don't need a complex sentence structure. Just drop it in as a response. It shows you are humble and considerate.
When To Use It
Use it when you receive a compliment at a dinner party. Use it when a friend thanks you for a small favor. It is perfect for texting when someone is being too hard on themselves. If a coworker says 'I'm so bad at this,' you can say 别这么说 to comfort them. It works beautifully in professional and casual settings alike. It makes you sound like a natural speaker who understands social cues.
When NOT To Use It
Don't use this if someone is telling you serious, factual news. If someone says 'I lost my keys,' don't say 别这么说. That would be confusing! Also, avoid it if someone is genuinely angry and criticizing you. In that case, it might sound like you are dismissing their feelings. It is for modesty and politeness, not for winning heated arguments. Don't use it with your boss if they are giving serious performance feedback.
Cultural Background
Chinese culture deeply values 'Modesty' or 谦虚. Accepting a compliment directly can sometimes feel a bit 'loud' or arrogant. By saying 别这么说, you are effectively 'sharing' the credit or downplaying your role. It’s a dance of politeness. It’s not that you don't appreciate the praise. You are just showing that you value the relationship more than the ego boost. It’s a classic 'face-saving' move for everyone involved.
Common Variations
千万别这么说: 'Please, definitely don't say that' (adds more emphasis).您别这么说: The formal version using the polite 'you'.别客气: 'Don't be so polite' (used specifically for thanks).哪里哪里: The old-school way to deflect a compliment.
Usage Notes
The phrase is neutral and safe for almost any social situation. The only 'gotcha' is ensuring your tone is warm; if said with a flat, cold voice, it could be misinterpreted as actually telling someone to stop talking.
Smile!
Always smile when you say this to ensure it sounds humble and not dismissive.
The Modesty Dance
Don't be afraid to use this even if you feel proud. It's a social ritual.
Examples
6别这么说，这是我应该做的。
Don't say that, it's the least I could do.
Standard way to minimize your own effort to make the friend feel comfortable.
别这么说，我还有很多要学习的地方。
Don't say that, I still have a lot to learn.
Classic professional humility.
别这么说，我觉得很好吃！
Don't say that, I think it's delicious!
Used here to provide emotional support and comfort.
您别这么说，太客气了。
Please don't say that, you're being too polite.
Using 'Nin' makes it respectful for elders.
没事，别这么说！
It's fine, don't even say that!
Short and sweet for digital messaging.
哈哈，别这么说，我会脸红的。
Haha, don't say that, you'll make me blush.
Lighthearted and playful response to teasing.
Test Yourself
Which is the most polite way to deflect a compliment?
A friend says you are a genius. What do you say?
'别这么说' is the standard polite way to deflect praise.
🎉 Score: /1
Visual Learning Aids
Practice Bank
1 exercisesA friend says you are a genius. What do you say?
'别这么说' is the standard polite way to deflect praise.
🎉 Score: /1
Frequently Asked Questions
2 questionsNo, it's very polite. It shows you are humble.
Yes, it's a great way to handle praise from a superior.
Related Phrases
哪里哪里
synonymNot at all / Where, where
别客气
similarYou're welcome / Don't be polite
