失之交臂...
shi zhi jiao bi...
Narrowly missed...
Literally: Lose it by the crossing of arms
In 15 Seconds
- Used for narrow misses of big opportunities.
- Literally means losing something as it brushes your arm.
- Conveys a strong sense of 'what if' and regret.
Meaning
This phrase describes that 'so close yet so far' feeling when you just barely miss out on a great opportunity or person. It is like reaching for something and having it brush against your arm as it slips away.
Key Examples
3 of 6Missing a job offer by a hair
面试表现很好，但我还是和这份工作失之交臂了。
The interview went well, but I still narrowly missed out on this job.
Losing a championship game
最后一秒丢了球，我们与冠军失之交臂。
We lost the ball in the last second and narrowly missed the championship.
Missing a flight by seconds
就差一分钟！我跟那班飞机失之交臂了。
Just one minute short! I narrowly missed that flight.
Cultural Background
The phrase originates from the 'Zhuangzi', a foundational Taoist text. It highlights the importance of timing and recognition in human encounters. In Chinese culture, it emphasizes that some opportunities are fleeting and require immediate action to seize.
The 'Almost' Rule
Only use this if the thing was within reach. If you never had a chance, use `错过` (cuòguò) instead.
Grammar Check
Always use '与' (yǔ) or '和' (hé) before the phrase to connect the person and the thing missed. Example: '我与机会失之交臂' (Wǒ yǔ jīhuì shīzhījiāobì).
In 15 Seconds
- Used for narrow misses of big opportunities.
- Literally means losing something as it brushes your arm.
- Conveys a strong sense of 'what if' and regret.
What It Means
Imagine you are reaching for a golden ticket. It literally brushes against your sleeve, but you fail to grab it. That is 失之交臂. It describes a near-miss. It is not for things you never had a chance at. It is for the ones that were right there. You could feel the success, then it vanished.
How To Use It
You usually place it after the subject or the opportunity. For example, 'I and that promotion 失之交臂.' It functions like a verb or a descriptive state. It carries a heavy sense of regret. It is more poetic than just saying 'I missed it.' Use it when the 'almost' part is the most important part of the story.
When To Use It
Use this when you lose a game by one point. Use it when you miss the last train by five seconds. It is perfect for job interviews where you were the runner-up. It also works for 'the one that got away' in romance. If you almost met a celebrity but they left just as you arrived, this is your phrase.
When NOT To Use It
Do not use this for things you missed by a mile. If you failed a test with a 20%, you did not 失之交臂. That is just a regular fail. Also, do not use it for mundane things like missing a sale on eggs. It feels a bit too dramatic for groceries. Save the drama for things that actually matter to your life path.
Cultural Background
This phrase comes from ancient philosophical texts. It originally described missing a wise person on the road. In old China, meeting a great teacher was a life-changing event. If your arms brushed but you did not recognize them, you missed your destiny. Today, it has shifted from people to any big opportunity. It reflects the Chinese value of 'Yuanfen' or fated connections.
Common Variations
You might see 擦肩而过. That one means 'brushing shoulders.' While 失之交臂 is about missing an opportunity, 擦肩而过 is more about physically passing someone. They are cousins in the world of 'almost.' You can also use 错失良机 if you want to be more direct about missing a 'good chance.'
Usage Notes
This is a versatile Chengyu that fits both written and spoken Chinese. It is neutral-to-formal but works in casual settings when you want to emphasize the 'closeness' of a failure.
The 'Almost' Rule
Only use this if the thing was within reach. If you never had a chance, use `错过` (cuòguò) instead.
Grammar Check
Always use '与' (yǔ) or '和' (hé) before the phrase to connect the person and the thing missed. Example: '我与机会失之交臂' (Wǒ yǔ jīhuì shīzhījiāobì).
The Arm Crossing Secret
The 'arms crossing' part of the phrase refers to people passing each other so closely their sleeves touch. It's a beautiful way to visualize a missed connection!
Examples
6面试表现很好，但我还是和这份工作失之交臂了。
The interview went well, but I still narrowly missed out on this job.
Shows a professional near-miss.
最后一秒丢了球，我们与冠军失之交臂。
We lost the ball in the last second and narrowly missed the championship.
Perfect for sports drama.
就差一分钟！我跟那班飞机失之交臂了。
Just one minute short! I narrowly missed that flight.
Everyday frustration.
排到我时最后一份炸鸡卖完了，我和美食失之交臂。
The last fried chicken sold out right when it was my turn; I narrowly missed culinary greatness.
Using a big phrase for a small tragedy.
刚才在街上看到他，可惜人太多，失之交臂了。
I just saw him on the street, but there were too many people, and I missed my chance to say hi.
Informal social regret.
当年没买那支股票，让我与财富失之交臂。
Not buying that stock back then made me narrowly miss out on a fortune.
Reflecting on a major life 'what if'.
Test Yourself
Choose the correct phrase to describe missing a gold medal by 0.01 seconds.
他以微弱的分数落后，与金牌___。
`失之交臂` is the only one that means 'narrowly missing.' The others mean success.
Which context fits `失之交臂` best?
小王昨天没去参加派对，___了认识偶像的机会。
Missing a chance to meet an idol is a classic 'narrowly missed' scenario.
🎉 Score: /2
Visual Learning Aids
Formality of 失之交臂
Used in texts about missing a bus or a snack.
跟奶茶失之交臂了。
Common in news or storytelling about opportunities.
他与大奖失之交臂。
Used in literature or formal speeches about history.
两国与和平协议失之交臂。
When to use 失之交臂
Job Hunting
Being the second choice for a dream job.
Sports
Losing by a single point in the final.
Romance
Missing a chance to talk to a crush.
Travel
Arriving at the gate as the doors close.
Practice Bank
2 exercises他以微弱的分数落后，与金牌___。
`失之交臂` is the only one that means 'narrowly missing.' The others mean success.
小王昨天没去参加派对，___了认识偶像的机会。
Missing a chance to meet an idol is a classic 'narrowly missed' scenario.
🎉 Score: /2
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsNot at all! While it sounds elegant, people use it jokingly in texts to add drama to small failures like 我和最后的蛋糕失之交臂了.
Yes, it is often used for missing a chance to meet someone important or a romantic interest you just missed in a crowd.
错过 is a general word for 'to miss.' 失之交臂 is more specific to 'narrowly missing' and carries more regret.
Not necessarily. It focuses on the result of the 'miss' rather than blaming someone, though it often feels like a stroke of bad luck.
Usually no. It is almost always used for missing out on something desirable, like a prize, a person, or a chance.
No, this is a fixed four-character idiom (chengyu), so you should use all four characters together.
Use the structure: [Subject] + 与 + [Opportunity] + 失之交臂. For example: 他与冠军失之交臂.
Yes, it's very common in business news to describe companies that almost signed a deal but failed at the last minute.
You can, but it sounds a bit dramatic. It's like saying 'I and the bus were fated to miss each other by a hair's breadth.'
The opposite would be 如愿以偿 (rúyuàn yǐcháng), which means getting exactly what you hoped for.
Related Phrases
擦肩而过
To brush past each other (often used for people).
错失良机
To miss a golden opportunity.
功败垂成
To fail at the final hurdle.
遗憾
Regret; a pity.
