The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala

So I have a Facebook friend whose life seems perfect.

She lives in a gorgeous house, and she has a really rewarding career.

And she and her family go on all these exciting adventures together on the weekends.

And I swear that they must take a professional photographer along with them, because no matter

where they go or what they do, the whole family just looks beautiful.

And she's always posting about how blessed she is and how grateful she is for the life

that she has.

And I get the feeling she's not just saying those things for the sake of Facebook, but

she truly means it.

How many of you have a friend kind of like that?

And how many of you kind of don't like that person sometimes?

We all do this, right?

It's hard not to do, but that way of thinking costs us something.

And that's what I want to talk to you about today, is what our bad habits cost us.

Maybe you scroll through your Facebook feed and you think, so what if I roll my eyes?

It's just five seconds of my time.

How could it be hurting me?

Well, researchers have found that envying your friends on Facebook actually leads to depression.

That's just one of the traps that our minds can set for us.

Have you ever complained about your boss?

Or looked at your friends' lives and thought, why did they have all the luck?

Can't help thinking that way, right?

That way of thinking seems small in the moment.

In fact, it might even make you feel better in the moment.

But that way of thinking is eating away at your mental strength.

There's three kinds of destructive beliefs that make us less effective and rob us of our

mental strength.

The first one is unhealthy beliefs about ourselves.

We tend to feel sorry for ourselves.

And while it's okay to be sad when something bad happens, self-pity goes beyond that.

It's when you start to magnify your misfortune.

When you think things like, why do these things always have to happen to me?

I shouldn't have to deal with it.

That way of thinking keeps you stuck, keeps you focused on the problem, keeps you from

finding a solution.

And even when you can't create a solution, you can always take steps to make your life

or somebody else's life better.

But you can't do that when you're busy hosting your own pity party.

The second type of destructive belief that holds us back is unhealthy beliefs about others.

We think that other people can control us and we give away our power.

But as adults who live in a free country, there's very few things in life that you have