B2 Expression Formal 4 min read

My condolences

Formal sympathy

In 15 Seconds

  • Expresses deep sympathy for a significant loss.
  • Primarily used after a death.
  • Formal and respectful tone is essential.
  • Avoid for minor issues or casual chats.

Meaning

When you say `My condolences`, you're offering your deepest sympathy to someone who's experienced a loss, most often a death. It's a serious and respectful way to acknowledge their pain and show you care.

Key Examples

3 of 11
1

Texting a friend after their grandparent's passing

I was so sad to hear about your grandma. My condolences to you and your family during this tough time.

I was so sad to hear about your grandma. My condolences to you and your family during this tough time.

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2

Writing in a sympathy card

Please accept my deepest condolences for your profound loss. We are thinking of you.

Please accept my deepest condolences for your profound loss. We are thinking of you.

<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M4.318 6.318a4.5 4.5 0 000 6.364L12 20.364l7.682-7.682a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364-6.364L12 7.636l-1.318-1.318a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364 0z"/></svg>
3

Emailing a work colleague whose parent died

I wanted to reach out and express my sincere sympathy. My condolences on the passing of your father.

I wanted to reach out and express my sincere sympathy. My condolences on the passing of your father.

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🌍

Cultural Background

The phrase `My condolences` likely evolved from the Latin word 'condolere,' meaning 'to grieve with.' It became a formalized expression in English during periods when societal etiquette emphasized structured ways to show respect and empathy during times of mourning. Its existence highlights a cultural need for a universally understood, respectful way to acknowledge profound loss, bridging personal grief with communal support.

💡

Sincerity is Key

Even though it's formal, your tone and delivery matter. Make sure you sound genuinely empathetic. A robotic 'My condolences' is worse than no words at all.

⚠️

Don't Overuse It!

Using 'My condolences' for minor issues, like a friend spilling coffee, is a classic blunder. It dilutes the phrase's impact and can sound sarcastic or out-of-touch. Stick to major losses.

In 15 Seconds

  • Expresses deep sympathy for a significant loss.
  • Primarily used after a death.
  • Formal and respectful tone is essential.
  • Avoid for minor issues or casual chats.

What It Means

My condolences is a formal and deeply respectful way to express sympathy. It’s not just saying ‘sorry’; it’s a profound acknowledgment of someone’s grief. Think of it as a verbal hug for the soul when someone’s world has been shaken. It carries a lot of emotional weight, signaling genuine empathy and sorrow for their loss. It’s a phrase that understands the gravity of the situation.

How To Use It

You use My condolences when you want to express sorrow for someone's loss. This typically happens after a death, but can sometimes extend to other significant losses. You might say it directly to the bereaved person. Or, you could write it in a card, email, or even a social media message. The key is sincerity. Don't just throw it around; use it when you truly mean it. It’s like sending a formal, heartfelt text message to the universe.

Formality & Register

This phrase leans heavily towards the formal side. It’s not something you’d casually drop into a chat with your gaming buddy about losing a match. Think funeral settings, official condolence cards, or formal emails to colleagues. While sincere, it’s definitely not casual. Using it in a very relaxed setting might sound a bit stiff, like wearing a tuxedo to a beach party. But in the right context, it’s perfect.

Real-Life Examples

Imagine your colleague's parent passes away. You might send an email saying, I was so sorry to hear about your father. My condolences to you and your family. Or, if you attend a memorial service, you could approach the grieving spouse and say, Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. Even on a platform like LinkedIn, if someone posts about losing a loved one, a comment like My condolences on this difficult time is appropriate. It’s versatile in formal settings.

When To Use It

Use My condolences when someone has died. This is the primary situation. It’s also suitable for other significant losses, like a business closing down after years of hard work, or a very close friend losing a beloved pet. Think of situations where deep sadness and loss are evident. It’s your go-to phrase for expressing serious sympathy. It’s like the official ‘I’m really sorry this happened’ button.

When NOT To Use It

Avoid My condolences for minor inconveniences or everyday setbacks. Saying My condolences because your friend’s favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations? That’s a bit much! It’s also inappropriate for happy occasions, obviously. Don’t use it if you didn’t know the deceased well and feel your expression might seem insincere. If you’re unsure, a simpler I’m so sorry for your loss might be safer. It’s not for stubbed toes or bad hair days.

Common Mistakes

A common mistake is using it too casually. Imagine texting a friend, Hey, my condolences on missing that concert! That’s just weird. Another mistake is overusing it or using it in the wrong context, making it sound hollow. Like using a formal apology for a minor oopsie. Remember, it’s heavy stuff, so treat it with care. ✗ My condolences for your bad grade! → ✓ I’m sorry to hear about your grade.

Common Variations

While My condolences is standard, you’ll hear variations. Please accept my condolences is even more formal. Deepest condolences adds extra emphasis. Informally, people might say So sorry for your loss or Thinking of you. In some cultures, specific rituals or phrases are used, but My condolences is widely understood in English-speaking contexts. It’s the classic, reliable choice.

Real Conversations

Scenario 1: At a funeral reception.

Speaker A: It’s been a tough week.

Speaker B: I can only imagine. Please accept my condolences.

Scenario 2: Emailing a former colleague.

S

Subject

Thinking of you
B

Body

Dear Sarah, I was so saddened to hear about your mother. My condolences during this difficult time. Warmly, John.

Scenario 3: Texting a friend.

F

Friend

My dog passed away this morning 💔
Y

You

Oh no, I’m so incredibly sorry. My condolences. Sending you love.

Quick FAQ

Can I use My condolences for a pet's death? Yes, if it was a beloved pet and you know the owner is deeply grieving. Is it okay to say My condolences if I didn't know the person who died? Yes, but ensure your tone is sincere and perhaps pair it with a simpler phrase like I’m sorry for your loss. Does it sound old-fashioned? Not necessarily, it’s timeless for expressing serious sympathy.

Usage Notes

This phrase is distinctly formal and should be reserved for situations involving significant loss, primarily death. While sincere, its formality means it's generally unsuitable for casual conversation or minor setbacks. Using it inappropriately can sound awkward or even sarcastic.

💡

Sincerity is Key

Even though it's formal, your tone and delivery matter. Make sure you sound genuinely empathetic. A robotic 'My condolences' is worse than no words at all.

⚠️

Don't Overuse It!

Using 'My condolences' for minor issues, like a friend spilling coffee, is a classic blunder. It dilutes the phrase's impact and can sound sarcastic or out-of-touch. Stick to major losses.

💬

A Universal Gesture

While rooted in English-speaking traditions, the sentiment behind 'My condolences' is understood globally. It's a respectful way to acknowledge grief across many cultures, even if specific phrasing differs.

🎯

Pair It Up

Often, `My condolences` sounds even better when combined with a personal touch. Try adding 'I was so sorry to hear about...' or 'Thinking of you during this difficult time.'

Examples

11
#1 Texting a friend after their grandparent's passing
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I was so sad to hear about your grandma. My condolences to you and your family during this tough time.

I was so sad to hear about your grandma. My condolences to you and your family during this tough time.

Shows empathy and respect in a personal, yet serious, message.

#2 Writing in a sympathy card
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M4.318 6.318a4.5 4.5 0 000 6.364L12 20.364l7.682-7.682a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364-6.364L12 7.636l-1.318-1.318a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364 0z"/></svg>

Please accept my deepest condolences for your profound loss. We are thinking of you.

Please accept my deepest condolences for your profound loss. We are thinking of you.

A very formal and heartfelt message suitable for a card.

#3 Emailing a work colleague whose parent died
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M21 13.255A23.931 23.931 0 0112 15c-3.183 0-6.22-.62-9-1.745M16 6V4a2 2 0 00-2-2h-4a2 2 0 00-2 2v2m4 6h.01M5 20h14a2 2 0 002-2V8a2 2 0 00-2-2H5a2 2 0 00-2 2v10a2 2 0 002 2z"/></svg>

I wanted to reach out and express my sincere sympathy. My condolences on the passing of your father.

I wanted to reach out and express my sincere sympathy. My condolences on the passing of your father.

Professional and respectful communication in a sensitive workplace situation.

#4 Social media comment on a memorial post

So sorry for your loss. My condolences.

So sorry for your loss. My condolences.

A brief, respectful acknowledgment on a public platform.

#5 At a wake or funeral service
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M4.318 6.318a4.5 4.5 0 000 6.364L12 20.364l7.682-7.682a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364-6.364L12 7.636l-1.318-1.318a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364 0z"/></svg>

I just wanted to offer my condolences in person. He was a wonderful man.

I just wanted to offer my condolences in person. He was a wonderful man.

Directly offering sympathy face-to-face, showing respect.

Responding to a friend's news about losing a job Common Mistake

✗ I heard about your job loss, my condolences! → ✓ I'm so sorry to hear about your job loss. That's tough.

✗ I heard about your job loss, my condolences! → ✓ I'm so sorry to hear about your job loss. That's tough.

Using 'condolences' for job loss is inappropriate; it's for death or very severe loss.

A friend is disappointed about not getting concert tickets Common Mistake

✗ My condolences on missing the concert. → ✓ So bummed you missed the concert!

✗ My condolences on missing the concert. → ✓ So bummed you missed the concert!

This phrase is far too serious for a minor disappointment like missing an event.

#8 A friend is moving away
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I'm really going to miss you. My condolences on having to move so far away.

I'm really going to miss you. My condolences on having to move so far away.

This usage is a bit dramatic and unusual; 'I'll miss you' or 'Good luck' is better.

#9 A celebrity posts about a family tragedy
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M21 13.255A23.931 23.931 0 0112 15c-3.183 0-6.22-.62-9-1.745M16 6V4a2 2 0 00-2-2h-4a2 2 0 00-2 2v2m4 6h.01M5 20h14a2 2 0 002-2V8a2 2 0 00-2-2H5a2 2 0 00-2 2v10a2 2 0 002 2z"/></svg>

To the family, my condolences during this incredibly difficult time. Your fans are thinking of you.

To the family, my condolences during this incredibly difficult time. Your fans are thinking of you.

Appropriate for a public figure addressing a grieving family.

#10 Discussing a character's death in a TV show
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M14.828 14.828a4 4 0 01-5.656 0M9 10h.01M15 10h.01M21 12a9 9 0 11-18 0 9 9 0 0118 0z"/></svg>

Oh man, when [character name] died in that episode, my condolences went out to the actor's family... wait, no, that's not right!

Oh man, when [character name] died in that episode, my condolences went out to the actor's family... wait, no, that's not right!

Humorous self-correction, highlighting the specific context of death.

#11 A neighbor's beloved pet passed away
<svg class="w-5 h-5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-hidden="true"><path stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" stroke-width="2" d="M4.318 6.318a4.5 4.5 0 000 6.364L12 20.364l7.682-7.682a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364-6.364L12 7.636l-1.318-1.318a4.5 4.5 0 00-6.364 0z"/></svg>

I heard about Buster. My condolences; he was such a good boy.

I heard about Buster. My condolences; he was such a good boy.

Acceptable for a deeply cherished pet where the owner is grieving significantly.

Test Yourself

Choose the sentence that uses 'My condolences' correctly.

Which sentence is correct?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: I offer my condolences for your loss.

`My condolences` is used to express sympathy for a death or significant loss, not for happy events or minor mistakes.

Fill in the blank with the most appropriate phrase.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: condolences

This is a standard phrase used to express sympathy after a death. 'Congratulations' is for achievements, 'apologies' for errors, and 'regards' is a general closing.

Find and fix the error in the sentence.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer:

`Condolences` expresses sympathy for a loss, while `Congratulations` expresses joy for an achievement or success.

Translate the sentence into English.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer:

This translation accurately conveys the meaning and formality of the original Spanish sentence.

Choose the most appropriate response.

Your friend's pet, whom they've had for 15 years, sadly passed away. What's the best way to express sympathy?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: My deepest condolences for your loss. He was clearly very loved.

This option acknowledges the depth of the loss, uses the formal phrase appropriately, and adds a personal, empathetic touch.

Fill in the blank.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: My condolences

This phrase is used to express sympathy for a death or significant loss.

Find and fix the error in the sentence.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer:

`Condolences` are for sad occasions, while `Congratulations` are for happy occasions like weddings.

Put the words in the correct order.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer:

This is a common and formal way to offer sympathy.

🎉 Score: /8

Visual Learning Aids

Formality Spectrum for 'My condolences'

Very Casual

Not appropriate at all.

Nah, can't use it here.

Casual

Generally too formal and serious for everyday chats.

Maybe for a close friend's major loss, but still might feel stiff.

Neutral

Can work in some semi-formal contexts if sincerity is clear.

A written message to a friend of a friend.

Formal

This is the sweet spot. Standard and respectful.

Sympathy cards, emails to colleagues, official statements.

Very Formal

Perfect for highly official or deeply respectful situations.

Addressing a grieving family at a state funeral.

When to Use 'My condolences'

Expressing Sympathy
⚰️

Death of a loved one

Offering condolences at a funeral.

🚫

Loss of a job

Sending a message after a layoff.

❤️‍🩹

Serious illness

Expressing sympathy for a prolonged illness.

🐶

Loss of a cherished pet

Comforting a grieving pet owner.

🔥

Major personal tragedy

Responding to news of a house fire.

🏢

Business closure

Acknowledging the end of a long-standing local business.

Comparing Sympathy Phrases

My condolences
My condolences Formal, classic expression for death/major loss.
My condolences Used in cards, emails, and formal speech.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry Slightly less formal, very common and sincere.
for your loss Directly addresses the situation.
Thinking of you
Thinking of you More general support, can be used for various hardships.
Thinking of you Less direct about the specific loss, broader comfort.

Usage Contexts for 'My condolences'

✉️

Written Communication

  • Sympathy cards
  • Emails to colleagues
  • Condolence messages on social media
🗣️

Spoken Communication

  • At funerals/wakes
  • In person to the bereaved
  • Formal announcements
⚖️

  • Death of a person
  • Loss of a long-term pet
  • Major life tragedies
👔

Register

  • Formal settings
  • Professional environments
  • Serious personal matters

Practice Bank

8 exercises
Choose the sentence that uses 'My condolences' correctly. Choose beginner

Which sentence is correct?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: I offer my condolences for your loss.

`My condolences` is used to express sympathy for a death or significant loss, not for happy events or minor mistakes.

Fill in the blank with the most appropriate phrase. Fill Blank intermediate

We were so sorry to hear about your father's passing. Please accept our deepest ____.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: condolences

This is a standard phrase used to express sympathy after a death. 'Congratulations' is for achievements, 'apologies' for errors, and 'regards' is a general closing.

Find and fix the error in the sentence. Error Fix intermediate

Find and fix the mistake:

My condolences for your great success in the competition!

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Congratulations on your great success in the competition!

`Condolences` expresses sympathy for a loss, while `Congratulations` expresses joy for an achievement or success.

Translate the sentence into English. Translate advanced

Siento mucho tu pérdida. Mis condolencias.

Hints: The Spanish 'Siento mucho tu pérdida' translates to 'I am very sorry for your loss.', 'Mis condolencias' directly translates to 'My condolences.'

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: I am very sorry for your loss. My condolences.

This translation accurately conveys the meaning and formality of the original Spanish sentence.

Choose the most appropriate response. Choose advanced

Your friend's pet, whom they've had for 15 years, sadly passed away. What's the best way to express sympathy?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: My deepest condolences for your loss. He was clearly very loved.

This option acknowledges the depth of the loss, uses the formal phrase appropriately, and adds a personal, empathetic touch.

Fill in the blank. Fill Blank beginner

I was shocked to hear about John. ____ to you and your family.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: My condolences

This phrase is used to express sympathy for a death or significant loss.

Find and fix the error in the sentence. Error Fix beginner

Find and fix the mistake:

My condolences for your amazing wedding!

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Congratulations on your amazing wedding!

`Condolences` are for sad occasions, while `Congratulations` are for happy occasions like weddings.

Put the words in the correct order. Reorder intermediate

Arrange the words in the correct order:

Click words above to build the sentence

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Please accept my condolences.

This is a common and formal way to offer sympathy.

🎉 Score: /8

Frequently Asked Questions

18 questions

It's a formal and respectful way to express sympathy when someone has experienced a loss, most commonly the death of a loved one. It signifies that you share in their sorrow and acknowledge the gravity of their grief.

You should use this phrase primarily when someone has passed away. It's appropriate for funerals, sympathy cards, emails, or even in-person conversations when expressing deep sympathy for a significant loss.

Yes, 'My condolences' is considered a formal expression. While it can be used sincerely in slightly less formal written contexts like a text to a close friend about a death, it's generally reserved for situations requiring a degree of seriousness and respect.

Yes, you absolutely can use 'My condolences' for the loss of a beloved pet, especially if you know the owner is deeply grieving. Pets are family members, and their passing can be a significant loss that warrants sincere sympathy.

It's still appropriate to offer 'My condolences' even if you didn't know the deceased personally. In such cases, it's often good to pair it with a phrase like, 'I'm so sorry for your loss,' to show you're offering support to the bereaved.

'My condolences' is generally more formal and traditional. 'I'm sorry for your loss' is also very common and sincere, but it can feel slightly less formal and perhaps more personal depending on the delivery.

Absolutely. 'My condolences' is very suitable for professional emails when a colleague, client, or business contact experiences a loss. It conveys respect and professionalism while acknowledging a sensitive situation.

While the phrase itself is widely understood across English-speaking regions, the frequency and context might vary slightly. However, its core meaning and formal register remain consistent. Variations like 'Deepest condolences' are also common.

A frequent mistake is using 'My condolences' for minor setbacks or non-death related losses, like losing a game or having a bad day. This trivializes the phrase and can sound inappropriate or sarcastic. It's meant for significant grief.

To sound more genuine, deliver the phrase with a calm, sincere tone if speaking. In writing, consider adding a brief personal memory of the deceased or a specific expression of support, like 'Please let me know if there's anything I can do.'

Yes, it can be suitable for social media, particularly on platforms like Facebook or LinkedIn when responding to a memorial post or news of a death. Keep it concise and sincere, perhaps adding 'So sorry for your loss' for warmth.

The word 'condolence' comes from Latin 'condolere,' meaning 'to grieve with.' So, literally, it means sharing or feeling grief together with someone who is suffering a loss.

You can say 'My condolences' to fulfill a social expectation of expressing sympathy, even if you didn't know the person well or aren't personally devastated. The phrase itself is a formal acknowledgment of the bereaved's grief, not necessarily a reflection of your own deep sadness.

Alternatives include: 'I'm so sorry for your loss,' 'Thinking of you,' 'Sending you my deepest sympathies,' or 'My heart goes out to you.' The best choice depends on your relationship with the person and the context.

There isn't a direct informal equivalent that carries the same weight. Casual phrases like 'So sorry!' or 'That sucks, man' might be used among very close friends, but they lack the formal respect of 'My condolences.'

Not necessarily. While it shows respect to the bereaved, it doesn't strictly require you to have known the person who passed away. Your expression is primarily about offering support to the grieving individual.

If you feel awkward, opt for simpler, sincere phrases like 'I'm so sorry to hear about your loss' or 'Thinking of you during this difficult time.' Authenticity is more important than using a specific phrase you're uncomfortable with.

Generally, no. 'My condolences' is strongly associated with death. For other significant losses, like a business failure or a major personal disappointment, phrases like 'I'm so sorry to hear that' or 'That must be difficult' are more appropriate.

Related Phrases

🔗

I'm sorry for your loss

related topic

A common and sincere expression of sympathy.

This phrase is a slightly less formal but equally heartfelt way to express sympathy, often used interchangeably with 'My condolences' in many situations.

👔

My deepest sympathies

formal version

A very formal and profound expression of sympathy.

This phrase is a more intense and formal variation, often used when the loss is particularly tragic or when addressing someone with great respect.

🔗

Thinking of you

related topic

Expresses care and support, often used during difficult times.

This phrase offers general support and acknowledges someone is going through a hard time, making it suitable for various challenging situations, not just death.

↔️

My bad

antonym

A casual admission of fault or mistake.

This phrase is the opposite of 'My condolences' as it relates to personal mistakes rather than expressing sympathy for someone else's loss.

↔️

Congratulations

antonym

An expression of good wishes for an achievement.

This is used for positive, celebratory events, directly contrasting with 'My condolences,' which is used for negative, sorrowful events.

👔

Please accept my condolences

formal version

A very formal way to offer sympathy.

This is an even more formal phrasing than 'My condolences,' often used in written communication or very official settings to convey deep respect.

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