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상견례

B1 noun #8,000 most common 8 min read

상견례

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Practice it Examples Notes & Tips 상견례 in 30 Seconds

Explanation 상견례 in your Level:

At the A1 level, you don't need to worry about the complex cultural rituals of a 상견례 (Sang-gyeon-rye). Just think of it as a very special 'Family Meeting' (가족 모임). It is a noun. You use it when a man and a woman want to get married, and their mothers and fathers meet to say 'Hello' for the first time. It usually happens at a restaurant. You can remember it as: 'Family + Meeting + Wedding.' In simple sentences, you can say '상견례를 해요' (I do a family meeting). It is a big word, but very important in Korea. If you see this word in a drama, it means the couple is getting serious! You might not use it every day, but knowing it helps you understand why people are wearing nice suits and looking nervous at a fancy restaurant.

For A2 learners, 상견례 is an important cultural noun to add to your 'Family' and 'Events' vocabulary. It refers to the formal meeting between two families before a wedding. At this level, you should know that it is a formal occasion. You can use it with simple verbs like '하다' (to do) or '가다' (to go). For example, '내일 상견례에 가요' (I am going to the formal family meeting tomorrow). You should also know that it is a nervous time, so you might say '상견례가 걱정돼요' (I am worried about the family meeting). It is different from a normal dinner because it is the first time both sets of parents meet together. Usually, people eat 'Hanjeongsik' (Korean full-course meal) during this time. Remember: it's not a date, it's a family event.

At the B1 level, you should understand that 상견례 is a pivotal social ritual in Korea. It is more than just a meeting; it is a formal procedure to get the parents' final approval for marriage. You should be able to use more specific verbs like '치르다' (to hold/conduct a ceremony) or '앞두다' (to have something ahead). For example, '상견례를 앞두고 선물을 준비했어요' (I prepared a gift with the formal meeting ahead). You should also be aware of the pronunciation: [상견네]. At this level, you can describe the atmosphere of the meeting using words like '긴장감' (tension) or '예의' (etiquette). You might also encounter this word in the context of '상견례 장소' (meeting venue) or '상견례 복장' (meeting attire) when reading blogs or watching lifestyle videos.

At the B2 level, you should be comfortable discussing the nuances of a 상견례. This includes understanding the social pressure and the 'face-saving' (Chemyeon) culture involved. You should know that the 상견례 often dictates the future relationship between the two families (Sajun-gan). You can use the word in complex sentences: '상견례 자리에서의 사소한 실수가 결혼을 그르칠 수도 있다' (A small mistake at the formal meeting could ruin the marriage). You should also recognize its metaphorical use in business or politics, where a first formal meeting between high-ranking officials is called a '상견례' to imply they are testing the waters. At this level, you should be able to compare it to western concepts like 'meeting the in-laws' but explain why the Korean version is much more formal and ritualized.

For C1 learners, 상견례 should be understood as a cornerstone of Korean Confucian social architecture. You should be able to discuss the historical evolution of the 상견례 from traditional arranged marriages to modern love marriages. You can explore the linguistic roots (Hanja: 相見禮) and how the concept of 'Rye' (Etiquette) governs the entire interaction. At this level, you can use the term in academic or sociological contexts, such as discussing '상견례 문화의 변화' (changes in formal meeting culture). You should be familiar with the specific vocabulary used during the event, such as '사돈' (in-laws) and how titles change after the 상견례 is completed. You can also analyze how the 상견례 is portrayed in literature or film as a site of class conflict or generational tension.

At the C2 level, you possess a masterly grasp of 상견례 and its socio-political implications. You can use the term fluidly in high-level discourse, whether discussing the 'diplomatic 상견례' between world leaders or the 'corporate 상견례' during a major merger. You understand the unspoken rules of the event—the subtle power dynamics, the linguistic shifts in honorifics (Jondaemal), and the intricate non-verbal communication involved. You can write sophisticated essays on how the persistence of the 상견례 ritual in a hyper-modern Korea reflects the ongoing tension between traditional collectivism and modern individualism. You are also capable of correcting others on the most subtle points of etiquette or pronunciation associated with the term, and you understand its place in the broader 'Gwanhon-sangje' (the four ceremonial occasions: coming-of-age, marriage, funeral, and ancestral rites).

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips

상견례 in 30 Seconds

A formal meeting between the families of a couple planning to marry.
Typically held at a high-end traditional Korean restaurant (Hanjeongsik).
Acts as the official approval and introduction phase of a Korean wedding.
Pronounced [상견네] and involves strict etiquette and formal attire.

The Korean word 상견례 (Sang-gyeon-rye) is a deeply significant cultural term that refers to the formal meeting between the families of a couple who intend to marry. In the journey toward a Korean wedding, this is often considered the most nerve-wracking and critical milestone. It is not merely a dinner; it is the official 'introduction' where two families assess one another, discuss the potential union, and effectively grant their formal blessing. Historically rooted in Confucian values, the 상견례 represents the merging of two bloodlines rather than just two individuals. In modern Korea, even if a couple has been dating for years, the marriage is not 'official' in the eyes of the parents until this meeting has been successfully completed. It usually takes place at a high-end traditional Korean restaurant (Hanjeongsik) or a quiet Japanese restaurant where private rooms are available to ensure privacy and a focused atmosphere.

Etymological Breakdown: The word is composed of three Hanja characters: 상 (相 - mutual), 견 (見 - to see), and 례 (禮 - etiquette/ceremony). Literally, it means the 'ceremony of seeing each other mutually.'

이번 주말에 양가 부모님을 모시고 상견례를 하기로 했어요. (We decided to have the formal family meeting with both sets of parents this weekend.)

The atmosphere of a 상견례 is typically heavy with 'Chemyeon' (saving face) and 'Ye-ui' (politeness). Participants wear formal attire—suits for men and conservative dresses or Hanbok for women. The conversation during a 상견례 is carefully choreographed; topics usually include the upbringing of the children, family traditions, and vague timelines for the wedding. Direct talk about money or dowries is often avoided in the first meeting to prevent friction, though it may be hinted at. If the 상견례 goes well, the wedding preparations (Gyeolhon Junbi) begin in earnest. If it goes poorly, it can occasionally lead to the dissolution of the engagement, highlighting just how much weight this single meal carries in Korean society.

Modern Context: While traditional, the modern 상견례 has adapted. Some couples now choose more relaxed venues like hotel buffets, though the underlying expectation of formal respect remains unchanged. It is the bridge between 'dating' and 'becoming family.'

상견례 자리에서는 말을 조심해야 합니다. (You must be careful with your words at the formal family meeting.)

Using 상견례 correctly involves pairing it with specific verbs that denote the action of holding, preparing for, or completing the ceremony. The most common verb is 하다 (to do), but for more formal or significant contexts, 치르다 (to undergo/to pay through/to hold a major event) is frequently used. Because a 상견례 is a singular event that marks a transition, it is often used with markers of time and result. For instance, '상견례를 마쳤다' implies the hurdle has been cleared and the wedding is proceeding. Below are detailed structures and examples to master its usage.

Common Verb Pairings: 1. 상견례를 하다: To have the meeting.
2. 상견례를 치르다: To hold/undergo the meeting (emphasizes the effort/formality).
3. 상견례 날짜를 잡다: To set the date for the meeting.
4. 상견례 장소를 예약하다: To book a venue for the meeting.

드디어 다음 달에 상견례를 치르기로 했습니다. (We finally decided to hold the formal family meeting next month.)

When describing the experience of the meeting, adjectives like 긴장되다 (to be nervous) or 화기애애하다 (to be harmonious/friendly) are often used. Because the event involves two distinct sides, the term 양가 (both families) is a frequent companion. You might say '양가 상견례' to be explicit, though '상견례' alone usually implies both sides. In a professional or metaphorical sense, the word can sometimes be used to describe the first formal meeting between high-level officials or heads of state, though this is less common than the marital context.

상견례 장소로는 조용한 한정식집이 가장 인기가 많아요. (As for the venue for the formal meeting, quiet traditional Korean restaurants are the most popular.)

Sentence Expansion: To sound more natural, use connectors: '상견례를 앞두고 잠을 설쳤어요' (I couldn't sleep well with the formal meeting coming up). Here, '앞두고' (having something ahead) is a perfect B1/B2 level structure.

You will encounter the word 상견례 most frequently in three main environments: Korean television dramas (K-Dramas), wedding planning discussions, and family gatherings. In K-Dramas, the 상견례 is a classic plot device used to generate conflict. It is often the scene where a wealthy mother-in-law looks down on a protagonist or where long-hidden family secrets are revealed through tense dialogue. If you are watching a show about a couple getting married, the episode titled or featuring the '상견례' is usually the climax of the 'pre-wedding' arc. In real life, if you have Korean friends in their late 20s or 30s, you will hear them talk about the stress of 'preparing for the 상견례' or asking for advice on 'what gifts to bring to the 상견례.'

드라마 속 상견례 장면은 항상 긴장감이 넘쳐요. (The formal family meeting scenes in dramas are always overflowing with tension.)

Another place you'll see this word is on the websites of high-end restaurants. Many Hanjeongsik (Korean full-course meal) establishments have a specific '상견례 코스' (Sang-gyeon-rye Course) on their menu. These menus are designed to be easy to eat (avoiding foods that get stuck in teeth or require messy hand-work) and include symbolic dishes that represent harmony. You might also hear it in the news metaphorically. For example, when a new political leader meets the head of an opposition party for the first time after an election, the media might call it a '정치적 상견례' (political formal meeting), implying a polite but cautious first encounter where they feel each other out.

Common Conversational Context: A: 언제 결혼해? (When are you getting married?)
B: 아직 상견례도 안 했어. (We haven't even had the formal family meeting yet.)
— This implies that the marriage isn't fully set in stone yet.

One of the most common mistakes learners make with 상견례 is confusing it with other types of meetings or 'dates.' For instance, some might use it to describe a 'blind date' (소개팅) or a 'marriage-oriented blind date' (맞선). However, 상견례 is strictly for when the couple has *already* decided to marry and is now bringing the *entire* family together. You cannot have a 상견례 with someone you just met. Another mistake is in the pronunciation. Due to Korean phonological rules (nasalization), it is pronounced as [상견례 -> 상견네 (sang-gyeon-ne)], not [sang-gyeon-rye]. Learners who pronounce the 'r/l' sound clearly often sound unnatural.

Confusing Terms: 맞선 (Mat-seon): A formal first date arranged by parents or matchmakers.
상견례 (Sang-gyeon-rye): A formal meeting of the *families* after a couple is already together.

❌ 어제 친구랑 상견례를 했어요. (Incorrect: implies you had a formal pre-marriage family meeting with a casual friend.)

Another error is using the wrong verb. While '상견례를 만나다' (to meet the 상견례) might seem logical to an English speaker, it is grammatically incorrect. You 'do' (하다) or 'hold' (치르다) a 상견례. Furthermore, be careful with the level of formality. Since the word itself is high-formality, using it in very slangy or casual sentences can feel jarring. For example, '상견례 했냐?' (Did you do the meeting?) is grammatically okay but culturally odd because the event it describes is so respectful. It's better to say '상견례 하셨어요?' or '상견례는 잘 마쳤니?'

While 상견례 is the most specific and common term for the formal family meeting, there are other words you might encounter depending on the stage of the relationship or the level of formality required. Understanding the nuances between these can help you navigate Korean social structures more effectively. Below is a comparison of related terms.

Comparison of Terms: 맞선 (Mat-seon): This is a 'marriage-prospect' blind date. It is usually just the two individuals meeting, though sometimes a parent might tag along. It is the *start* of a potential relationship.
첫 인사 (Cheot In-sa): This literally means 'first greeting.' It refers to when one partner goes to meet the other partner's parents for the first time *individually*. This happens *before* the 상견례.
면담 (Myeon-dam): A general 'interview' or 'consultation.' While formal, it is used in school or office settings, never for family marriage meetings.

If you want to sound more modern or less formal, you might simply say '양가 부모님 모임' (a gathering of both families' parents). However, this lacks the specific weight of '상견례.' In historical dramas (Sa-geuk), you might hear the term '가례' (Ga-rye), which refers to royal wedding ceremonies or the strict family rites of the nobility. For a B1 learner, stick to '상견례' as it is the standard term used by 99% of the population today.

우리는 맞선으로 만났지만, 상견례는 아주 천천히 준비했어요. (We met through a marriage blind date, but we prepared for the formal family meeting very slowly.)

How Formal Is It?

Fun Fact

In the Joseon Dynasty, the 상견례 was often the very first time the couple saw each other, whereas today they have usually dated for years.

Pronunciation Guide

UK /sæŋ.ɡjʌn.ljeɪ/

US /sɑːŋ.ɡjʌn.ljeɪ/

Primary stress on the second syllable 'Gyeon'.

Rhymes With

장례 (Jang-rye - Funeral) 차례 (Cha-rye - Order/Ancestral rite) 조례 (Jo-rye - Ordinance) 사례 (Sa-rye - Case/Example) 혼례 (Hon-rye - Wedding ceremony) 실례 (Sil-rye - Discourtesy) 세례 (Se-rye - Baptism) 답례 (Dap-rye - Return gift)

Common Errors

Pronouncing the 'ㄹ' as a clear 'R' or 'L' sound (it should be nasalized).
Saying 'Sang-Gyeon-Rye' instead of the correct [Sang-Gyeon-Ne].
Failing to aspirate the 'G' sound properly.
Misplacing the stress on the first syllable.
Vowel length errors in 'Sang'.

Difficulty Rating

Reading 3/5

Common in news and dramas, but uses Hanja-based logic.

Writing 4/5

Spelling '례' correctly and using it with '치르다' can be tricky.

Speaking 4/5

Pronunciation [상견네] is a classic nasalization challenge.

Listening 3/5

Easy to recognize once you know the nasalization rule.

What to Learn Next

Prerequisites

결혼 부모님 인사 식당 만남

Learn Next

예식장 신혼여행 청첩장 혼수 예물

Advanced

가례 관혼상제 사돈 백년가약 함

Grammar to Know

Nasalization (ㄴ + ㄹ -> ㄴ + ㄴ)

상견례 [상견네], 관리 [관니]

Honorifics (께서/하시다)

부모님께서 상견례를 하셨습니다.

Time Particle (때)

상견례 때 긴장했어요.

Adverbial Form (-하게)

상견례를 원만하게 마쳤어요.

Noun Compounding

상견례 + 장소 = 상견례 장소

Examples by Level

오늘 상견례를 해요.

Today we have the formal family meeting.

Uses the basic '하다' verb.

상견례는 식당에서 해요.

The formal meeting is at a restaurant.

Topic marker '는' indicates the focus.

상견례가 너무 떨려요.

I am so nervous about the formal meeting.

Subject marker '가' with an adjective.

부모님이 상견례에 오세요.

My parents are coming to the formal meeting.

Honorific '오세요' used for parents.

상견례 옷을 사요.

I am buying clothes for the formal meeting.

Noun + Noun structure.

상견례는 언제예요?

When is the formal meeting?

Question form '예요?'

상견례 음식이 맛있어요.

The formal meeting food is delicious.

Possessive-like noun compounding.

상견례에서 인사해요.

We greet each other at the formal meeting.

Location marker '에서'.

어제 드디어 상견례를 마쳤어요.

We finally finished the formal meeting yesterday.

Past tense '마쳤어요'.

상견례 장소를 찾고 있어요.

I am looking for a venue for the formal meeting.

Present progressive '-고 있어요'.

상견례 때 무엇을 입을까요?

What should I wear during the formal meeting?

Time marker '때' with suggestion form.

상견례는 양가 부모님이 만나는 날이에요.

The formal meeting is the day both families' parents meet.

Defining a noun with '-는 날이에요'.

상견례 선물을 준비했어요.

I prepared a gift for the formal meeting.

Object marker '를'.

상견례가 생각보다 안 추웠어요.

The formal meeting (atmosphere) wasn't as cold as I thought.

Comparative '생각보다'.

상견례를 위해 예약을 했어요.

I made a reservation for the formal meeting.

'위해' (for the sake of).

상견례는 긴장되는 자리예요.

The formal meeting is a nervous occasion.

Adjective modifying '자리' (occasion/seat).

상견례를 치르는 동안 거의 아무것도 못 먹었어요.

I could hardly eat anything while holding the formal meeting.

'-는 동안' (while).

상견례 날짜를 잡는 것이 가장 어려웠어요.

Setting the date for the formal meeting was the hardest part.

Gerund '-는 것'.

상견례 장소로는 조용한 룸이 있는 식당이 좋아요.

As for the formal meeting venue, a restaurant with a quiet room is good.

Particle '-로는' (as for).

양가 부모님께서 상견례에서 처음 인사하셨습니다.

Both sets of parents greeted each other for the first time at the formal meeting.

Honorific subject marker '께서'.

상견례를 앞두고 다이어트를 시작했어요.

I started a diet with the formal meeting ahead.

'-를 앞두고' (with... ahead).

상견례 분위기가 화기애애해서 다행이었어요.

I was relieved that the formal meeting atmosphere was harmonious.

Reason connector '-어서/아서'.

상견례 때 실수할까 봐 걱정이에요.

I'm worried that I might make a mistake at the formal meeting.

'-ㄹ까 봐' (worried that...).

상견례는 결혼의 공식적인 첫 단계입니다.

The formal meeting is the official first step of marriage.

Formal ending '-입니다'.

상견례 자리에서는 대화 주제를 미리 선정해 두는 것이 좋습니다.

It is good to select conversation topics in advance for the formal meeting.

'-어 두다' (do something in advance).

어색한 상견례 분위기를 깨기 위해 농담을 던졌어요.

I cracked a joke to break the awkward atmosphere of the formal meeting.

'-기 위해' (in order to).

상견례를 치르고 나니 비로소 결혼이 실감 나네요.

Now that the formal meeting is over, I finally feel like I'm getting married.

'-고 나니' (now that... is finished).

상견례 복장은 지나치게 화려하지 않은 것이 예의입니다.

It is polite for formal meeting attire not to be excessively flashy.

Negative modifier '-지 않은'.

상견례 비용은 보통 신랑 측에서 부담하는 경우가 많습니다.

The cost of the formal meeting is often covered by the groom's side.

'-는 경우가 많다' (often the case that...).

상견례에서 부모님들 사이에 의견 차이가 있어서 당황했어요.

I was flustered because there was a difference of opinion between the parents at the formal meeting.

Noun + '사이' (between).

성공적인 상견례를 위해 세심한 준비가 필요합니다.

Meticulous preparation is needed for a successful formal meeting.

Adjective '세심한' (meticulous).

상견례는 단순히 밥을 먹는 자리가 아니라 가족이 되는 과정입니다.

A formal meeting is not just a place to eat, but a process of becoming family.

'A가 아니라 B' (not A but B).

상견례는 한국 사회에서 가문과 가문의 결합을 상징하는 중대한 의식입니다.

In Korean society, the formal meeting is a significant ritual symbolizing the union of two families.

Complex noun phrase '가문과 가문의 결합'.

최근에는 상견례 절차를 간소화하려는 경향이 뚜렷해지고 있습니다.

Recently, there is a clear trend toward simplifying the formal meeting procedures.

'-하려는 경향' (tendency to...).

상견례에서 양가의 가치관 차이를 확인하고 파혼에 이르는 경우도 종종 발생합니다.

It also often happens that differences in family values are confirmed at the formal meeting, leading to a broken engagement.

'-에 이르는' (reaching...).

상견례의 본질은 서로에 대한 존중과 배려를 확인하는 데 있습니다.

The essence of the formal meeting lies in confirming mutual respect and consideration.

'-는 데 있다' (lies in the fact that...).

정치권에서도 여야 대표의 상견례를 통해 협치의 물꼬를 트기도 합니다.

In the political sphere, they also open the way for cooperation through a formal meeting of the ruling and opposition party leaders.

Metaphorical usage of '상견례'.

상견례 시 좌석 배치는 엄격한 위계질서를 따르는 것이 관례입니다.

It is customary for seating at a formal meeting to follow a strict hierarchy.

Sino-Korean word '관례' (custom).

상견례를 무사히 마친 후, 본격적인 예식 준비에 박차를 가했습니다.

After successfully finishing the formal meeting, we accelerated the actual wedding preparations.

Idiom '박차를 가하다' (to accelerate).

상견례는 유교적 전통이 현대 사회에 맞게 재해석된 형태라고 볼 수 있습니다.

The formal meeting can be seen as a form where Confucian traditions have been reinterpreted to fit modern society.

'-라고 볼 수 있다' (can be seen as...).

상견례는 개별 주체 간의 만남을 넘어, 사회적 승인을 획득하는 통과의례적 성격을 띱니다.

Beyond a meeting between individual subjects, the formal meeting takes on the character of a rite of passage that acquires social approval.

Academic term '통과의례' (rite of passage).

양가의 위계와 체면이 교차하는 상견례는 고도의 심리전이 펼쳐지는 장이기도 합니다.

The formal meeting, where the hierarchy and face of both families intersect, is also an arena where advanced psychological warfare unfolds.

Metaphor '심리전' (psychological warfare).

상견례에서의 언어적 비언어적 소통은 향후 고부 갈등의 전조를 읽어내는 단초가 됩니다.

Verbal and non-verbal communication at the formal meeting becomes a clue to reading the omens of future conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Formal word '단초' (clue/beginning).

전통적인 상견례의 엄숙함이 사라지고 실용적인 만남으로 변모하는 것은 시대적 흐름입니다.

It is a trend of the times that the solemnity of the traditional formal meeting is disappearing and transforming into a practical meeting.

Noun '변모' (transformation).

상견례라는 형식을 통해 가족 공동체의 결속력을 재확인하는 기능은 여전히 유효합니다.

The function of reconfirming the solidarity of the family community through the format of the formal meeting remains valid.

Particle '라는' (called...).

상견례 석상에서 오가는 담소 속에는 각 가문의 문화적 자본과 정체성이 투영되어 있습니다.

In the small talk exchanged at the formal meeting table, the cultural capital and identity of each family are projected.

Sociological term '문화적 자본' (cultural capital).

상견례의 원만한 진행을 위해 커플은 양측 부모님의 성향을 치밀하게 분석해야 합니다.

For the smooth progress of the formal meeting, the couple must meticulously analyze the inclinations of both sets of parents.

Adverb '치밀하게' (meticulously).

상견례는 한국적 결혼 문화의 특수성을 보여주는 가장 극명한 사례 중 하나입니다.

The formal meeting is one of the most vivid examples showing the specificity of Korean marriage culture.

Adjective '극명한' (vivid/clear).

Synonyms

양가 만남 첫인사 얼굴 보기 가족 모임 맞선 결혼 협의 대면 인사 자리

Antonyms

파혼 이별 초면 독신

Common Collocations

상견례를 하다

상견례를 치르다

상견례 장소

상견례 복장

상견례 날짜

상견례 선물

상견례 코스

상견례 분위기

상견례 대화

상견례 예약

Common Phrases

상견례 날짜 잡기

— Setting the date for the formal meeting.

상견례 날짜 잡기가 하늘의 별 따기예요.

상견례 프리패스상

— A face/look that parents would immediately love at a formal meeting.

그 배우는 정말 상견례 프리패스상이야.

상견례 자리

— The actual seat or occasion of the formal meeting.

상견례 자리는 언제나 불편하기 마련이다.

성공적인 상견례

— A successful formal meeting.

성공적인 상견례를 위한 팁을 알려드릴게요.

상견례 식당

— A restaurant suitable for the formal meeting.

서울 시내 괜찮은 상견례 식당 있나요?

상견례 매너

— Etiquette for the formal meeting.

상견례 매너를 미리 숙지하세요.

상견례 후기

— A review or account of a formal meeting.

블로그에 상견례 후기를 올렸어요.

상견례 메이크업

— Makeup specifically for the formal meeting.

단아한 상견례 메이크업을 받았어요.

상견례 주의사항

— Precautions for the formal meeting.

상견례 주의사항을 꼭 읽어보세요.

상견례 긴장감

— The tension of the formal meeting.

상견례 긴장감 때문에 체했어요.

Often Confused With

상견례 vs 맞선

A blind date for marriage, whereas 상견례 is for families of a couple already together.

상견례 vs 첫인사

Meeting parents individually for the first time, not the whole family gathering.

상견례 vs 결혼식

The actual wedding ceremony, which happens months after the 상견례.

Idioms & Expressions

"상견례 프리패스"

— Someone who looks so reliable and kind that parents would approve of them instantly.

너는 인상이 좋아서 상견례 프리패스겠다.

Slang/Modern

"문턱을 넘다"

— To cross the threshold (often used for the 상견례 as crossing into the family).

상견례를 하고 드디어 그 집 문턱을 넘었다.

Literary

"도장을 찍다"

— To stamp the seal (metaphorically finalizing the marriage at the 상견례).

상견례에서 확실히 도장을 찍고 왔어요.

Informal

"눈도장을 찍다"

— To make a good first impression (important at a 상견례).

상견례에서 시부모님께 눈도장을 잘 찍어야 해.

Idiomatic

"가시방석에 앉다"

— To sit on a bed of thorns (how people feel during a tense 상견례).

상견례 내내 가시방석에 앉은 기분이었어요.

Common

"입이 떨어지지 않다"

— To be unable to speak (due to nervousness at a 상견례).

상견례 자리에서 너무 떨려서 입이 떨어지지 않았어요.

Common

"찬물을 끼얹다"

— To throw cold water on (ruining the 상견례 atmosphere).

내 실수가 상견례 분위기에 찬물을 끼얹었다.

Common

"코로 들어가는지 입으로 들어가는지 모르다"

— To not know if food is going in the nose or mouth (eating while extremely nervous).

상견례 음식이 코로 들어가는지 입으로 들어가는지 몰랐어요.

Common

"다 된 밥에 재 뿌리기"

— To ruin something almost finished (a disaster at a late-stage 상견례).

상견례에서 그런 말을 하는 건 다 된 밥에 재 뿌리는 거야.

Common

"산 넘어 산"

— One mountain after another (the 상견례 is just one of many wedding steps).

상견례 끝내니 이제 집 구하기... 정말 산 넘어 산이네요.

Common

Easily Confused

상견례 vs 장례

Similar sound/ending.

Jang-rye is a funeral; Sang-gyeon-rye is a marriage meeting. Don't mix them up!

상견례는 기쁜 날이지만, 장례는 슬픈 날입니다.

상견례 vs 사례

Same ending.

Sa-rye means an example or a case.

성공적인 상견례 사례를 찾아보세요.

상견례 vs 차례

Same ending.

Cha-rye is a specific ancestral rite during holidays.

추석에는 차례를 지내고, 다음 달에는 상견례를 해요.

상견례 vs 실례

Same ending.

Sil-rye means discourtesy or 'excuse me'.

상견례에서 실례를 범하면 안 됩니다.

상견례 vs 혼례

Same ending, related topic.

Hon-rye is the old term for the wedding ceremony itself.

상견례 후에 혼례 날짜를 정했습니다.

Sentence Patterns

N(시간)에 상견례를 해요.

내일 상견례를 해요.

상견례를 위해 N을/를 준비해요.

상견례를 위해 선물을 준비해요.

상견례가 어떨지 걱정돼요.

상견례를 치르고 나니 V-네요.

상견례를 치르고 나니 홀가분하네요.

상견례 자리에서 V-지 않도록 조심하세요.

상견례 자리에서 실수하지 않도록 조심하세요.

상견례는 N의 상징이라고 할 수 있다.

상견례는 가문 결합의 상징이라고 할 수 있다.

상견례를 계기로 N이/가 시작되었다.

상견례를 계기로 결혼 준비가 시작되었다.

상견례라는 형식을 빌려 N을/를 꾀하다.

상견례라는 형식을 빌려 화해를 꾀하다.

Word Family

Nouns

상견례

예의

양가

사돈

Verbs

상견례하다

인사하다

대면하다

Adjectives

예의 바르다

어색하다

화기애애하다

결혼

약혼

맞선

함

예물

How to Use It

frequency

High during wedding season (Spring/Autumn).

Common Mistakes

Pronouncing it as [Sang-Gyeon-Rye] → [Sang-Gyeon-Ne]
The 'ㄹ' sound changes to 'ㄴ' because it follows 'ㄴ'. This is a standard Korean phonological rule called nasalization.
Using casual language (Banmal) → Formal honorifics (Jondaemal)
Even if the parents are younger than yours, you must use high honorifics at a 상견례 to show respect for the other family.
Talking about money immediately → Discussing family and hobbies first
Directly asking about apartment prices or dowries at the first meeting is considered very rude and 'low-class' in traditional contexts.
Wearing casual clothes like jeans → Business formal attire
A 상견례 is a formal ceremony. Wearing casual clothes suggests you do not take the marriage or the other family seriously.
Focusing only on your own parents → Attending to both sets of parents
The couple should act as mediators. If you only talk to your own mother, the other family may feel neglected or excluded.

Tips

Seating Order

The person with the highest status (usually the father) should sit in the innermost seat, furthest from the door. The couple should sit closest to the door to easily attend to any needs.

Topic Choice

Keep the conversation positive. Focus on how well the couple complements each other and share lighthearted childhood anecdotes. Avoid sensitive financial details.

Arrival Time

Arrive at the venue 10 to 15 minutes early. It is considered very rude to keep the other family waiting at a 상견례. However, don't go inside the room too early; wait in the lobby.

First Greeting

When the other family enters, everyone should stand up to greet them. A polite bow and a warm smile are essential to set a good tone for the meeting.

Gift Presentation

If you brought a gift, present it at the beginning of the meeting to break the ice, or at the very end as a thank-you gesture. Use both hands when giving and receiving.

Eating Pace

Match your eating pace with the elders. Do not start eating before the elders pick up their spoons, and do not finish much earlier than them.

Voice Volume

Speak clearly but at a moderate volume. The room is often quiet, and you want to sound confident but respectful. Avoid laughing too loudly or using slang.

Pre-meeting Briefing

Before the meeting, tell your parents about the other family's background, jobs, and interests to help them avoid awkward silences or inappropriate questions.

Handling Silence

If an awkward silence occurs, the couple should step in to bridge the gap by asking a pre-planned question or offering more food/tea to the parents.

After the Meeting

After going home, send a polite text or call the other family (via your partner) to say you arrived safely and enjoyed the meeting. This leaves a lasting good impression.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'Sang' (Sun/Bright) + 'Gyeon' (Scan) + 'Rye' (Rite). You are 'Scanning' the 'Bright' future in-laws in a formal 'Rite'.

Visual Association

Imagine two families sitting across a long wooden table with a large 'V' (for Victory or Validation) in the middle.

Word Web

Marriage Parents Restaurant Nervous Etiquette Suit Hanjeongsik Blessing

Challenge

Try to describe your dream 상견례 location using three adjectives in Korean.

Word Origin

Derived from Hanja (Chinese characters used in Korean).

Original meaning: 相 (Mutual) + 見 (To see/meet) + 禮 (Etiquette/Rite).

Sino-Korean.

Cultural Context

Avoid discussing sensitive topics like politics, religion, or specific salary amounts unless the parents bring them up first.

Closest equivalent is 'Meeting the In-laws,' but 상견례 is much more ceremonial and rarely involves alcohol or casual joking.

The movie 'Meet the In-Laws' (위험한 상견례) is a famous Korean comedy about this topic. K-Drama 'The World of the Married' features a very tense 상견례 scene. The variety show 'We Got Married' often parodied the 상견례 process.

Practice in Real Life

Real-World Contexts

Wedding Planning

상견례 날짜 정하셨어요?
장소는 어디로 하세요?
선물은 뭐 준비해요?
긴장되시겠어요.

Daily Conversation

상견례 잘 끝났어?
분위기 어땠어?
부모님들이 좋아하셔?
이제 진짜 결혼하네.

Restaurant Booking

상견례 예약하려고요.
조용한 방으로 부탁드려요.
상견례 코스 메뉴 있나요?
주차 공간 넉넉한가요?

Drama Discussion

상견례 장면 대박이다.
완전 긴장감 넘쳐.
저런 상견례는 무섭다.
옷이 너무 예쁘다.

Business (Metaphorical)

신임 대표와의 상견례.
첫 상견례 자리가 중요해.
가볍게 상견례만 합시다.
정식 상견례는 다음에.

Conversation Starters

"상견례 장소로 한정식이 좋을까요, 일식이 좋을까요?"

"상견례 때 부모님께 드릴 선물 추천해 주실 수 있나요?"

"상견례 자리에서 피해야 할 대화 주제가 있을까요?"

"상견례 복장은 정장이 필수일까요?"

"상견례 비용은 누가 내는 것이 일반적인가요?"

Journal Prompts

상견례를 앞둔 주인공의 긴장되는 마음을 일기로 써 보세요.

자신이 생각하는 가장 이상적인 상견례 장소와 이유를 적어 보세요.

상견례가 끝난 후, 부모님과 나눈 대화를 상상해서 기록해 보세요.

한국의 상견례 문화와 자신의 나라의 비슷한 문화를 비교해 보세요.

상견례에서 가장 중요하게 생각하는 에티켓 세 가지를 써 보세요.

Frequently Asked Questions

10 questions

보통 결혼식 날짜를 잡기 6개월에서 1년 전, 혹은 결혼 결심 직후에 합니다. 양가 부모님의 일정을 조율하여 가장 편안한 주말 점심시간에 하는 것이 일반적입니다.

조용한 대화를 나눌 수 있는 한정식집의 개별 룸이 가장 선호됩니다. 최근에는 호텔 중식당이나 일식당도 많이 이용하지만, 어르신들의 입맛을 고려하여 한정식을 선택하는 경우가 많습니다.

과거에는 신랑 측이 계산하는 것이 관례였으나, 최근에는 신랑과 신부가 미리 절반씩 부담하거나 예약한 쪽에서 계산하는 등 실용적으로 변하고 있습니다. 식사 도중 신랑이 잠시 나와 미리 결제하는 것이 매너로 여겨집니다.

남성은 깔끔한 정장, 여성은 단정한 원피스나 투피스를 입는 것이 정석입니다. 너무 화려하거나 노출이 심한 옷, 캐주얼한 청바지 등은 피하는 것이 예의입니다.

필수는 아니지만, 분위기를 부드럽게 만들기 위해 가벼운 선물을 준비하는 경우가 많습니다. 도라지 정과, 화과자, 프리미엄 과일 세트 등 건강하고 고급스러운 먹거리가 인기입니다.

서로의 자녀를 칭찬하거나, 어떻게 성장했는지에 대한 이야기를 주로 나눕니다. 상대방 부모님의 건강이나 취미에 대해 묻는 것도 좋습니다. 정치, 종교, 재산 이야기는 피해야 합니다.

보통 식사 시간을 포함하여 1시간 30분에서 2시간 정도 소요됩니다. 너무 짧으면 성의 없어 보이고, 너무 길면 서로 피곤해질 수 있으므로 적당한 때에 마무리하는 것이 중요합니다.

과거에는 형제자매도 모두 참석했으나, 요즘은 양가 부모님과 당사자들만 참석하여 6명이서 오붓하게 진행하는 경우가 많습니다. 상황에 따라 직계 가족까지는 참석하기도 합니다.

보통 신랑과 신부가 각자 부모님의 가능한 일정을 먼저 확인한 뒤, 서로 조율하여 결정합니다. 양가 어르신들의 편의를 최우선으로 고려해야 합니다.

상견례 자리에서 대략적인 시기를 논의하고, 상견례가 끝난 후 양가가 합의하여 구체적인 날짜를 확정하는 것이 일반적입니다. 이미 날짜를 잡고 상견례를 하는 경우도 있습니다.