In 15 Seconds
- Used for deep, sincere apologies regarding serious mistakes.
- Involves the verb 'pedir' (to ask) and 'desculpa' (excuse).
- Best suited for professional contexts or significant personal blunders.
- Often replaced by 'imensas desculpas' in natural, everyday speech.
Meaning
This phrase describes the act of offering a profound, high-intensity apology when a simple 'sorry' just isn't enough. It implies a deep level of regret and a sincere desire to make amends for a significant mistake or social blunder.
Key Examples
3 of 10Missing a major work deadline
Quero pedir desculpas extremamente sinceras pelo atraso na entrega do projeto.
I want to offer my extremely sincere apologies for the delay in the project delivery.
Accidentally breaking a friend's heirloom
Peço imensas desculpas, eu não devia ter tocado naquele vaso.
I am so incredibly sorry, I shouldn't have touched that vase.
A business email to a client
Pedimos desculpas encarecidamente pelo erro na faturação.
We earnestly apologize for the billing error.
Cultural Background
The act of 'pedir desculpa' is central to the concept of 'simpatia' and social harmony in Lusophone cultures. Unlike some cultures that avoid apologies to save face, Portuguese speakers often use 'pedir desculpa' as a social lubricant to smooth over any perceived slights. The use of intensifiers like 'extremamente' reflects the high value placed on emotional sincerity and the 'calor humano' (human warmth) expected in personal interactions. Historically, the shift from formal 'perdão' (forgiveness) to the more relational 'desculpa' shows a culture that prioritizes maintaining the social bond over legalistic fault-finding.
The Native 'Wait' Trick
When apologizing for something serious, pause for a second after saying 'Peço...'—it builds emotional tension and makes the 'desculpas' feel more earned.
Eye Contact Matters
In Portugal and Brazil, looking someone in the eye while offering a deep apology is a sign of honesty. Looking away can make it seem 'plástica' (fake).
In 15 Seconds
- Used for deep, sincere apologies regarding serious mistakes.
- Involves the verb 'pedir' (to ask) and 'desculpa' (excuse).
- Best suited for professional contexts or significant personal blunders.
- Often replaced by 'imensas desculpas' in natural, everyday speech.
What It Means
Have you ever sent a spicy text about your boss... to your boss? Or perhaps you completely blanked on your best friend’s wedding after promising to be the DJ? When you've crossed that line from 'oops' to 'oh no,' a standard desculpa feels like bringing a toothpick to a sword fight. That’s where the concept of extremamente pedir desculpa comes in. It’s the linguistic version of a deep bow or a very long, awkward pause where you hope the earth swallows you whole.
What It Means
In Portuguese, pedir desculpa literally translates to 'to ask for an excuse.' Unlike English, where you 'make' or 'give' an apology, in Portuguese, you are a humble petitioner asking the other person to grant you an 'un-blame' (the literal meaning of desculpa). Adding extremamente (extremely) to this act turns it into a high-stakes emotional transaction. It signals that you aren't just saying the words because your mom told you to; you genuinely feel the weight of your actions. It carries a vibe of 'I know I messed up, and I really, really need you to know I care.'
How To Use It
Grammatically, pedir is your workhorse verb. You'll conjugate it based on who is doing the apologizing (usually eu peço or eu queria pedir). The word desculpa can be singular or plural (desculpas), with the plural version feeling slightly more formal or 'complete.' While a learner might try to say eu extremamente peço, a native speaker is more likely to wrap that intensity around the whole sentence. You might say Quero pedir-lhe imensas desculpas or Peço desculpas extremamente sinceras. Think of extremamente as the volume knob on your sincerity—you only turn it to 11 when the situation is serious. If you use it for spilling a drop of water, people will think you're being sarcastic or just very, very dramatic.
Real-Life Examples
Imagine you’re on a Zoom call with a client and your cat decides to walk across the keyboard, accidentally deleting a month's worth of data. You’d look into the webcam and say, Peço imensas desculpas por este transtorno. Or, if you forgot a high-stakes meeting: Quero pedir desculpas extremamente sinceras pelo meu atraso. In a WhatsApp group, if you accidentally shared a private meme meant for your partner: Gente, peço mil desculpas, errei de conversa! Notice how we often swap extremamente for mil (thousand) or imensas (immense) in casual speech? It’s because Portuguese loves a bit of hyperbole when emotions are involved.
When To Use It
You save this level of apology for the 'Big Mistakes.' We’re talking about missing deadlines that cost money, hurting someone’s feelings deeply, or breaking something valuable. It’s also the go-to for professional settings where you need to maintain your reputation after a slip-up. Using this phrase shows you understand social hierarchies and the value of the relationship. It’s the 'I value you more than my pride' phrase. If you're travel vlogging and you accidentally film someone who didn't want to be on camera, a quick extremamente focused apology can de-escalate the situation faster than you can say 'subscribe.'
When NOT To Use It
Don't use this for 'Low-Stakes' bumps. If you bump into someone at a busy Lisbon metro station, a quick perdão or com licença is enough. If you use extremamente pedir desculpa there, the local will probably look at you like you just confessed to a crime. Also, avoid it if you aren't actually sorry. Portuguese speakers are experts at detecting 'plastic' apologies. If your tone is flat, the 'extremely' part will just sound like you’re reading from a script. It's like using too many emojis in a breakup text—it just feels wrong.
Common Mistakes
One of the biggest traps is the word order. In English, we say 'I deeply apologize.' In Portuguese, we don't usually put the adverb right before the verb in speech.
Eu extremamente peço desculpa
✓Peço imensas desculpas or Peço desculpas sinceramente.
Another classic error is using para instead of a or a pronoun.
Vou pedir desculpa para você
✓Vou pedir-lhe desculpa or Vou pedir desculpa a você.
Lastly, don't confuse desculpa (the noun) with desculpe (the command). If you say Eu pedir desculpe, you’re essentially saying 'I to ask for excuse me,' which sounds like a glitching robot.
Similar Expressions
If you want to mix it up, try pedir perdão. While desculpa is about social 'excuses,' perdão (pardon/forgiveness) is heavier, almost religious or soul-searching. Use perdão if you forgot your anniversary; use desculpa if you forgot to buy milk. There’s also sinto muito (I feel much/I'm very sorry), which is great for expressing empathy rather than admitting fault. If you want to sound super native and casual, just say Foi mal! (It was bad/My bad!). It’s the ultimate 'oops' for when you accidentally drop a fry on your friend’s shoe.
Common Variations
You’ll often hear pedir desculpas encarecidamente. This is the 'CEO level' of apologies. It’s formal, elegant, and very effective in emails. In Brazil, you might hear pedir desculpas do fundo do coração (from the bottom of my heart), which adds a layer of tropical warmth to the regret. In Portugal, pedir imensas desculpas is the gold standard for being polite but serious. If you want to be extra, you can even say peço um milhão de desculpas—just make sure you didn't actually kill their houseplant first.
Memory Trick
Think of the word pedir as 'petitioning.' You are a humble traveler petitioning the 'King of Social Harmony' for an 'extra' (extremamente) 'excuse' (desculpa). Or, just remember: EXTREME mistakes require EXTREME apologies. If the mistake was 'Extreme,' use extremamente (or its more natural cousins like imensas). If it was just a 'Mini' mistake, keep your pedir simple. Just don't forget the 'R' in pedir, or you're just 'pedi' (asked) which is in the past, and you haven't finished apologizing yet!
Quick FAQ
Is it desculpa or desculpas? Both work, but desculpas (plural) sounds a bit more 'all-encompassing' and formal. Can I just say Me desculpa? Yes, that’s the most common way to say 'Forgive me' in Brazil. Is extremamente too formal? It’s high-register, so yes, it’s best for serious situations. Should I use it in a text? Only if the text is about something serious—otherwise, stick to foi mal or desculpa aí. What if they don't accept it? Well, you've done your part by being 'extremely' sincere; the rest is up to the Portuguese gods of hospitality!
Usage Notes
The phrase 'extremamente pedir desculpa' is a conceptual high-register expression. In practice, place the intensifier after the noun or use 'imensas'. Avoid using it for trivialities to maintain its social power.
The Native 'Wait' Trick
When apologizing for something serious, pause for a second after saying 'Peço...'—it builds emotional tension and makes the 'desculpas' feel more earned.
Eye Contact Matters
In Portugal and Brazil, looking someone in the eye while offering a deep apology is a sign of honesty. Looking away can make it seem 'plástica' (fake).
The 'Para' Pitfall
Never say 'pedir desculpa para você' unless you are asking an apology *on behalf* of someone else. To apologize *to* someone, always use 'a' or the pronoun '-lhe'.
Singular vs. Plural
If you are unsure, use 'desculpas' (plural). It always sounds a bit more polite and complete, especially in formal writing.
Examples
10Quero pedir desculpas extremamente sinceras pelo atraso na entrega do projeto.
I want to offer my extremely sincere apologies for the delay in the project delivery.
Using 'sinceras' with the intensifier adds a layer of professional integrity.
Peço imensas desculpas, eu não devia ter tocado naquele vaso.
I am so incredibly sorry, I shouldn't have touched that vase.
'Imensas' is the most natural native way to express 'extremely' in this context.
Pedimos desculpas encarecidamente pelo erro na faturação.
We earnestly apologize for the billing error.
'Encarecidamente' is a high-level formal synonym for 'extremely'.
Eu queria pedir desculpa de verdade por tudo o que eu disse.
I really wanted to apologize for everything I said.
'De verdade' (truly) is a common way to intensify an apology in casual speech.
Gente, peço mil desculpas pelo sumiço, a vida estava uma loucura!
Guys, a thousand apologies for the disappearance, life was crazy!
'Peço mil desculpas' is perfect for social media followers.
Eu sinto muito e venho aqui pedir desculpa extremamente arrependido.
I am very sorry and I come here to apologize, being extremely regretful.
Combining the act of 'pedir' with the state of 'arrependido' is very powerful.
✗ Eu extremamente peço desculpa por interromper. → ✓ Peço imensas desculpas por interromper.
I extremely ask for apology for interrupting. → I am so sorry for interrupting.
Don't put the adverb right before the verb; it sounds like a direct translation from English.
Professor, peço-lhe desculpa pelo meu comportamento na aula.
Professor, I apologize to you for my behavior in class.
Using the pronoun '-lhe' makes the apology direct and respectful.
✗ Vou pedir desculpa para o meu chefe. → ✓ Vou pedir desculpa ao meu chefe.
I will ask apology for my boss. → I will apologize to my boss.
Use 'a' (to) or '-lhe' when specifying who you are apologizing to.
Peço desculpas extremas, mas a pizza de abacaxi foi um erro de julgamento.
I offer extreme apologies, but the pineapple pizza was a lapse in judgment.
Using 'extremas' (adjective) with 'desculpas' can be used for lighthearted drama.
Test Yourself
Fill in the blank to complete the apology.
In Portuguese, we 'ask for' (pedir) an apology, rather than 'making' it.
Choose the most natural way to intensify the apology.
Which sentence sounds most like a native speaker?
'Imensas desculpas' is the most common and natural collocation for a high-intensity apology.
Find and fix the error in the preposition.
We apologize 'to' (a) someone, not 'for' (para) them in this context.
🎉 Score: /3
Visual Learning Aids
Apology Intensity Spectrum
Bumping into someone or minor oops.
Foi mal! / Desculpa!
Standard social mistakes.
Me desculpa. / Peço desculpa.
Serious personal or social errors.
Peço imensas desculpas! / Mil desculpas!
Major professional or life blunders.
Peço desculpas extremamente sinceras / encarecidamente.
When to go 'Extreme'
Work Deadline Missed
Peço desculpas encarecidamente.
Breaking Something
Peço imensas desculpas.
Major Lateness
Peço mil desculpas.
Wrong Email Sent
Quero pedir desculpas extremas.
Hurt Feelings
Peço desculpas de coração.
Desculpa vs. Perdão vs. Sinto Muito
Common Intensifiers
Adverbs
- • extremamente
- • sinceramente
- • encarecidamente
Quantifiers
- • mil
- • imensas
- • um milhão de
Idioms
- • do fundo do coração
- • de verdade
- • pra valer
Practice Bank
3 exercisesEu quero ___ desculpa pelo meu atraso.
In Portuguese, we 'ask for' (pedir) an apology, rather than 'making' it.
Which sentence sounds most like a native speaker?
'Imensas desculpas' is the most common and natural collocation for a high-intensity apology.
Find and fix the mistake:
Eu preciso pedir desculpas para o diretor.
We apologize 'to' (a) someone, not 'for' (para) them in this context.
🎉 Score: /3
Video Tutorials
Find video tutorials on YouTube for this phrase.
Frequently Asked Questions
18 questions'Pedir desculpa' is used for social errors, mistakes, or accidents, like being late or breaking a dish. 'Pedir perdão' is much deeper, often used for serious moral transgressions or in religious contexts where you are asking for total forgiveness of a sin or a major betrayal of trust.
It might sound a bit too formal or dramatic for a casual text unless you are being intentionally funny. For a friend, it is much more natural to say 'Peço mil desculpas' or 'Desculpa mesmo!' to show intensity without sounding like a lawyer.
Both use it, but Brazilians are very fond of 'Me desculpa' or 'Te peço desculpas,' while in Portugal you will frequently hear 'Peço-lhe desculpa' or 'Peço imensas desculpas.' The plural 'desculpas' is slightly more standard in Brazil, while the singular is very common in spoken European Portuguese.
The best way is to use a formal adverb. A sentence like 'Peço encarecidamente desculpas pelo ocorrido' or 'Quero apresentar as minhas mais sinceras desculpas' is perfect. It shows respect for the hierarchy and takes full responsibility for the mistake in a professional manner.
In Portuguese culture, an apology is not something you simply state; it is a request for the other person to release you from blame. By 'asking' for the excuse, you are putting the power in the other person's hands, which is a culturally humble and respectful way to handle a mistake.
'Foi mal' is not rude, but it is extremely informal. You should only use it with friends, siblings, or people of the same social standing in very casual settings. Using it with a teacher or a supervisor would likely be seen as disrespectful or as if you don't take the mistake seriously.
'Encarecidamente' means 'earnestly' or 'insistently.' When you add it to an apology, you are saying that you are not just saying sorry once, but that you are truly emphasizing how much you regret the situation. It is one of the highest levels of formal apology you can use.
'Desculpa' is the noun (an excuse) or the informal command (for 'tu'). 'Desculpe' is the formal command (for 'você'). If you are using the verb 'pedir,' you must use the noun: 'Peço desculpa.' If you are just saying 'Excuse me,' use 'Desculpa' for friends and 'Desculpe' for strangers.
Portuguese culture highly values 'educação' (good manners) and avoiding direct conflict. Apologizing is a way to restore 'paz' (peace) and show that you are a person of good character who respects social norms. It's often better to apologize too much than too little in a Portuguese social setting.
While it's the concept we are discussing, you wouldn't say those words in that exact order in a sentence. You would say 'Peço-lhe extremamente desculpa' (rare) or more naturally 'Peço imensas desculpas.' The adverb 'extremamente' usually modifies an adjective like 'arrependido' (regretful) rather than the verb directly.
The most common responses are 'Não foi nada' (It was nothing), 'Tudo bem' (It's all good), or 'Não se preocupe' (Don't worry). If it was a big mistake, you might say 'Eu aceito as tuas/suas desculpas' (I accept your apologies) to formally close the matter and move forward.
It's a bit too informal for a first-time client or a very stiff corporate environment, but it's often fine for colleagues you work with every day. It shows a certain level of friendly regret. For a more formal touch, stick to 'imensas desculpas' or 'sinceras desculpas' to be safe.
People will likely find it a bit funny or dramatic. It's like saying 'I beg for your eternal mercy' because you stepped on someone's toe. They will understand you're sorry, but they might think you're being a bit of a 'drama queen' or just learning the language and its nuances.
Yes! Just like in English, a 'desculpa' can be a justification for why you didn't do something. If someone says 'Isso é apenas uma desculpa esfarrapada,' they are saying 'That is just a lame excuse.' So, make sure your 'pedir desculpa' doesn't sound like you're just making one up!
No, 'extremamente' is an adverb, and adverbs in Portuguese are invariable. It stays 'extremamente' whether you are a man or a woman, and whether you are apologizing to one person or a whole stadium of people. This makes it a very safe word to use once you learn it!
If you can't meet in person, a long, well-thought-out message with 'pedir desculpas' and intensifiers is better than nothing. However, for truly 'extreme' mistakes, a phone call or a voice message is usually preferred because the tone of your voice conveys the 'extremamente' part better than text ever could.
You wouldn't use 'pedir desculpa' for that. You would just say 'Desculpe' (formal) or 'Com licença' (excuse me/with permission). 'Pedir desculpa' is strictly for when you have already done something wrong and need to make it right with the other person.
'Arrependido' means 'regretful' or 'repentant.' While 'pedir desculpa' is the action, 'estar arrependido' describes your internal state. Saying 'Peço desculpa, estou extremamente arrependido' is the ultimate 'double whammy' of apologies, combining the right action with the right feeling.
Related Phrases
pedir imensas desculpas
synonymto apologize immensely
This is the most common and natural way to express a high-intensity apology in everyday Portuguese.
pedir perdão
formal versionto ask for forgiveness
It carries more emotional and moral weight than 'desculpa' and is used for very serious life events.
foi mal
informal versionmy bad
This is the ultra-casual slang equivalent for small mistakes among friends.
pedir desculpas encarecidamente
formal versionto earnestly apologize
This is the standard professional way to show deep regret in formal writing or speeches.
sinto muito
related topicI'm very sorry / I feel it much
It is used more to express sympathy for someone else's situation rather than admitting your own fault.
mil desculpas
synonyma thousand apologies
A very common idiomatic intensifier used in both Brazil and Portugal for sincere mistakes.