结婚

Here is the golden rule: 结婚 is a 'separable verb' (离合词). This is a fancy way of saying it hates having an object attached to its tail. You can never, ever say 我结婚她 to mean 'I married her.' That sounds like you’re trying to use her as a wedding decoration. Instead, you must use the 'with' structure: 跟...结婚 or 和...结婚. For example, 我要跟他结婚 (I want to marry him). If you want to say how long you’ve been married, you split the words open: 他们结了十年婚 (They have been married for ten years). It’s like a sandwich where the duration or the action markers like 了 or 过 go right in the middle. If you try to keep it whole while adding details, the grammar police will pull you over. Finding a spouse is hard enough; don't let the grammar make it harder!

You’ll see this phrase everywhere from TikTok (Douyin) wedding montages to formal government documents. On social media, a common caption for a wedding photo is 我们结婚啦！ (We’re married!). If you’re watching a C-drama, the dramatic climax usually involves someone shouting 我不跟他结婚！ (I won’t marry him!) before running away. In modern urban China, you might hear friends discussing 闪婚 (shǎnhūn), which refers to 'lightning marriage'—getting married after knowing someone for only a few weeks. It’s also common in office small talk: 你结婚了吗？ (Are you married?). Pro tip: if you’re not married and don't want to talk about it, just blame it on your busy work schedule. It’s the universal urban excuse.

Use 结婚 whenever you are discussing the general concept of getting married or stating someone's marital status. It is perfectly neutral and works in every setting. You can use it in a job interview (though they shouldn't be asking!), at a formal dinner, or while gossiping with your best friend over bubble tea. If you’re filling out a form at a bank or a hospital, you’ll see it under the 'Marital Status' section. It’s also the right choice when talking about marriage as a social phenomenon, like 'the average age for people to 结婚 is rising.' It’s the safest, most versatile tool in your vocabulary toolkit for anything involving a wedding ring.

Don’t use 结婚 if you want to specify who is 'entering' whose family in a traditional sense. In older or more traditional contexts, men 娶 (qǔ - take a wife) and women 嫁 (jià - marry off to a husband). Using 结婚 is the modern, gender-neutral way to do it. Also, avoid 结婚 if you only mean the party or the party-planning part. If you’re talking about the actual event—the food, the dress, the flowers—use 办婚礼 (bàn hūnlǐ - to hold a wedding). If you only mean the legal act of signing the papers without a party, use 领证 (lǐngzhèng - to get the certificate). If you use 结婚 when you specifically mean the party, people will understand, but you’ll sound a bit like a textbook.

The most frequent disaster is trying to put a person directly after the phrase.

Another classic mistake is forgetting that it’s a one-time action verb in some contexts.

If you say 结婚了三个月 without the 了 at the end, it sounds like the wedding ceremony itself lasted for ninety days straight. That would be an incredibly expensive party! Also, watch out for the 'with' part. Don't use 对 (towards) or 给 (to); only 跟 or 和 work here.

If you want to sound more like a native speaker, try 办喜事 (bàn xǐshì), which literally means 'to handle a happy affair.' It’s a slightly more traditional way to say someone is getting married. For the legal side, as mentioned, 领证 (lǐngzhèng) is very common among young couples who might sign the papers months before having a big dinner. If you’re talking about a couple finally making it official after a long time, you might say they are 修成正果 (xiūchéng zhèngguǒ), a Buddhist-inspired idiom meaning their 'cultivation has reached a fruitful conclusion.' It’s like saying they finally 'leveled up' after a long relationship quest.

You’ll often hear 结过婚 (jié guò hūn), which means 'to have been married before' (divorced or widowed). 还没结婚 (hái méi jiéhūn) is the standard 'not married yet.' If you add 大 in front, 大婚 (dàhūn), it refers to a grand wedding, usually used for celebrities or royalty—or if you just want to be extra about your own big day on Instagram. There’s also 再婚 (zàihūn) for remarrying. If you're feeling cynical, you might hear 恐婚 (kǒnghūn), which is the 'fear of marriage,' a trending term among younger generations who prefer their freedom and their Netflix subscriptions over domestic bliss.

Is 结婚 formal? It’s neutral! You can use it with your boss or your cat. Does it mean the ceremony or the status? Both, but usually the act of getting married. Can I use it for same-sex marriage? Yes, the term is the same regardless of who is getting tied in the knot. Why is it two characters? Most modern Chinese words are! The first is the action (tying) and the second is the category (marriage). Is it okay to ask someone if they are 结婚? In China, it’s a very common 'getting to know you' question, so don't be offended if a taxi driver asks you within five minutes of meeting!