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Alpha Male Content is Insane | Alec Flynn | Stand Up Comedy
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Legendas (258 segmentos)
I just got fired but I've been telling
people I got laid off that's the move
you can't stay fired you got to stay
laid off because when you say laid off
your friends actually have sympathy for
you they're like oh don't worry about it
you land on your feet when you say you
got fired all they had for you is
questions like what happened
what'd you do
and I'd answer those questions if I had
a cool answer if I could say something
like oh dude they caught me vaping in
the handicaps though
they caught me jerking off in the
handicap stall
but I gotta look I'm dead in the face
and just be like oh dude they told me I
was a bad culture fit
it's true though I am I'm like a
facilitator of workplace hatred that's
like my thing I'm like the last guy you
want to see in a break room truly you're
having a bad day I'm just gonna pile on
really open the cabinet oh we're out of
peanut butter pretzels again I'm in the
corner this company doesn't care
about us
look I can't be the only person that
actively Roots against their company to
fail right
look paycheck is nice and all but
wouldn't you just like to see it all
burn
it's a startup who would miss it right
and I had to check on my resume for the
first time in a while ever look at an
old resume and just marvel at the lies
bold italic slides it's all
I had a line in there that said
entrepreneur
like yeah I used to sell Adderall like
what do we
I don't feel bad talking about that
either because I don't think you can
overdose on Adderall
I don't know if that's true or not but
I'm not like a doctor or a reliable guy
I've just never seen an episode of CSI
where they walk into a dead guy's place
like it must have been an extended
release
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