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Dorothy's Most Savage Moments - Golden Girls
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If I had the money, I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...
I better not say anything until I've had my coffee.
A slut and a moron.
I'm sorry, it must be decaf.
Oh, come on now.
That superstitious nonsense.
You know, step on a crack, break your mother's back.
It doesn't work.
I know.
I tried.
I think I can handle this relationship with Dirk.
I'm going out with him Saturday night.
Was there ever any doubt?
Momentarily.
This is strictly off the record, but Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am.
In what, Blanche?
Dog years?
Blanche Devereaux?
Just a moment.
My rear tires have less pressure in them.
Heart screams.
What's happening?
No, nothing.
Everything's fine, Blanche.
We never should have watched Psycho.
For 25 years, I have avoided that picture.
Even when Stan invited me to the Roxy instead of over to his mother's house for dinner.
And it turned out that my instincts were right.
Norman Bates is scarier than my mother-in-law.
And a much better dresser.
Oh, I never should have watched it either.
It always upsets me, especially that shower scene.
But it's the reason I prefer not to shower alone.
Sure, Blanche.
And Goldilocks and the Three Bears is why you prefer not to sleep alone.
Honey, are you all right?
I'll be fine.
Is this about Arnie?
No, Blanche.
She's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke.
Oh, girls, I'm so sorry to be late.
I ran out of gas on the way home.
It was just horrible.
Nobody would stop to help me.
This could never have happened in the Old South.
What has become of chivalry when men used to open doors for you, pull out your chair, tip their hat, kiss your hand, help you down out of your carriage, leave calling cards and little silver salvers?
So how far back do you want to go, Blanche?
I mean, do you still want to be able to vote?
Move it.
Miss Harpleen, what are we going to do?
Listen, girls, I have an idea.
Now, I'm going to create a diversion by bending over and picking up something seductively.
Then the two of you sneak up behind him and give him a karate chop.
Blanche, what do we look like?
Charlie's angels?
I have been told I bear a striking resemblance to Miss Cheryl Ladd.
Although my bosoms are perkier.
Not even if you were hanging upside down on a trapeze.
Wait, how many boyfriends could a naive farmer's daughter possibly have had?
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