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My journey to self love | Dr Andrea Pennington | TEDxPeterborough
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[Music]
could you look yourself in the mirror
and say I love you me a few years ago I
couldn't saying those four words would
have been really difficult I did not
love myself and I didn't see what could
possibly be lovable about me well I've
come a long way since then and now not
only will I say those words I will sing
them for you as well today I'll share a
bit of my healing journey from
self-hatred to real self-love it's the
true story of how music saved my life
and set me free from several diagnoses
including depression I was born in
Nevada and when I was three years old my
parents got divorced my mother then
moved our family to Denver Colorado so
she could finish medical school when she
got into private practice I was shuffled
between school and the babysitter and my
older sister when it was the weekends I
begged my mom is to go to the hospital
with her so as she did her patient
rounds I would hang out in the gift shop
and I was always very quiet and well
behaved mainly because at home my mother
repeated often children are to be seen
not heard just as she was told when she
grew up
now the conversations on the phone with
my father were mainly about how I was
doing in school he came from the
generation that believed that with an
education you could get a good job a
pension and a secure future so when he
found out that I was performing in a
music recital or a school play I often
heard the tone of disapproval in his
voice he told me I needed to focus on my
grades successful musicians and actors
are just one in a million my dad grew up
in Tennessee it's one of the United
States known for country music and many
people travel there to look for fame but
very few people find it now my dad is
actually an
excellent guitar and banjo player and he
excels in photography so it's really not
surprising that music and creative arts
are natural passions for me but he
always discouraged me from pursuing them
as a career because he had seen too many
people try and fail at that so I worked
really hard at school so that I could
keep my dad's approval so that I could
keep performing in theater band and
choir it was through music and theatre
that I could move and release the
emotions that were bottled up inside of
me and it was on stage that I was
finally told it was good to be seen and
totally acceptable to speak up and sing
out loud so when I got to university I
performed in community theater
I discovered video production and I
became the general manager of our campus
TV station as a pre-med student and this
is when my father told me that I was a
dilettante just like him enter diagnosis
number one dilettante a person who
cultivates an area of interest such as
the arts without serious commitment or
knowledge synonyms include dabbler
tinkerer trifler amateur
non-professional non-specialists pretty
negative right isn't it amazing how
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