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許し合う

B1 verb 16 min read

許し合う

yurushiau

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips 許し合う in 30 Seconds

Explanation 許し合う in your Level:

At the A1 level, the word '許し合う' (yurushiau) is quite advanced. However, you can understand it by breaking it down. 'Yurusu' means 'to say it's okay' or 'to forgive.' 'Au' means 'together' or 'each other.' So, 'yurushiau' means 'we both say it's okay.' Imagine two friends who were angry. Now they are happy again. They both said 'I'm sorry' and 'It's okay.' That is 'yurushiau.' You might hear this in simple stories or cartoons. At this level, you mostly use 'gomen' (sorry) and 'ii yo' (it's okay). This word is a more grown-up way to say that both people are being kind to each other. Think of it as 'happy together again.' It is important to know that it is about TWO people, not just one.

At the A2 level, you are starting to learn compound verbs like '話し合う' (hanashiau - to talk together). '許し合う' (yurushiau) follows the same pattern. It combines '許す' (to forgive) and '合う' (to do together). You use this when two people have a problem and they fix it together. For example, if you and your brother had a fight, you can say '私たちは許し合った' (We forgave each other). It is more formal and deeper than just 'making up' (仲直り). It shows that both people have good hearts. You can use it in basic sentences with 'と' (with) or '私たちは' (we). It's a useful word for talking about friends and family in your Japanese diary or simple speeches.

At the B1 level, '許し合う' is a key vocabulary item for discussing relationships and emotions. It represents the mutual process of reconciliation. You should be able to conjugate it into various forms like '許し合いたい' (want to forgive each other) or '許し合える' (can forgive each other). This word is common in Japanese dramas and songs. It implies a certain level of maturity—that both parties are willing to overlook mistakes to save a relationship. You will often see it paired with 'お互いに' (otagai ni - each other) for emphasis. At this level, you should understand the nuance: it's not just about one person being nice; it's a shared effort to restore harmony ('wa'). It is an essential word for discussing social values and interpersonal harmony in Japan.

At the B2 level, you should understand '許し合う' in more complex social and literary contexts. It is not just for personal fights; it can describe the reconciliation between groups or even nations. You should be comfortable with its noun form '許し合い' and how it functions as an abstract concept. You might encounter it in essays about peace or psychology. The word carries a sense of 'mutual concession.' At this level, you should be able to distinguish it from similar terms like '和解する' (formal reconciliation) or '妥協する' (compromise). You should also be able to use the potential form '許し合える' to discuss the philosophical possibility of forgiveness in difficult situations. It's a word that adds depth to your discussions about human nature and society.

At the C1 level, '許し合う' is treated as a sophisticated concept involving the restoration of social and spiritual equilibrium. You should recognize its use in classical and modern literature where it often represents the resolution of a 'karmic' conflict. The nuance of 'mutual absolution' is important here. You will see it in high-level discourse about historical grievances and international diplomacy. You should be able to discuss the cultural significance of 'mutual forgiveness' in the context of Japanese 'Amae' and 'Wa.' Using this word correctly in a speech or academic paper shows a deep understanding of Japanese social ethics. You can also use it metaphorically or in abstract debates about morality and the human condition, where the reciprocity of the act is the central focus.

At the C2 level, '許し合う' is understood as a fundamental pillar of interpersonal and collective existence. You can analyze its etymological roots and its role in the evolution of Japanese social harmony. You should be able to use it with absolute precision, contrasting it with the most subtle synonyms like '宥和' or '恩赦.' At this level, you might explore the word's presence in legal philosophy or religious texts, where it transcends simple 'forgiveness' to become a transformative social ritual. You can use it to articulate complex ideas about the necessity of mutual vulnerability in achieving true peace. Your mastery of the word allows you to use it in any register, from an intimate whisper of reconciliation to a formal declaration of peace between warring factions.

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips

許し合う in 30 Seconds

許し合う (yurushiau) is a B1-level Japanese verb meaning 'to forgive each other.'
It is a compound of 'yurusu' (forgive) and 'au' (mutual action), requiring a plural subject.
Commonly used in emotional contexts like dramas, songs, and family reconciliation.
It emphasizes mutual effort and the restoration of social harmony (wa).

The Japanese verb 許し合う (yurushiau) is a compound verb that combines 許す (yurusu), meaning to forgive, permit, or allow, with the auxiliary verb 合う (au), which signifies a mutual or reciprocal action. When these two components merge, they create a powerful concept: the act of two or more parties granting forgiveness to one another simultaneously or as part of a collective reconciliation. This word transcends mere linguistic construction; it taps into the core of Japanese social dynamics, emphasizing the restoration of harmony (和 - wa) within a group or relationship. Unlike the simple act of one person forgiving another, 許し合う implies a bilateral process where both sides acknowledge their faults or the pain caused and decide to move forward together. This is particularly significant in Japanese culture, where maintaining the 'wa' often requires both parties to yield or acknowledge mutual responsibility to preserve the social fabric. It is a word of healing, closure, and emotional maturity, typically used in contexts where a long-standing conflict is resolved through mutual understanding.

Reciprocity: The suffix ~合う explicitly indicates that the action is not one-sided. It requires a 'we' or 'they' subject, making it inherently social.
Semantic Range: While primarily meaning 'to forgive each other,' it can also imply 'to accept each other's flaws' or 'to tolerate one another' in a long-term commitment.

私たちは過去の過ちを許し合うことで、新しい関係を築いた。 (By forgiving each other's past mistakes, we built a new relationship.)

In everyday conversation, you might not hear 許し合う as frequently as simpler terms like 仲直りする (nakanaori suru - to make up), but it carries a much heavier emotional and moral weight. It is often found in literature, song lyrics, and deep interpersonal discussions. For instance, in a marriage where both partners have made mistakes, the counselor might suggest that the goal is to 許し合う. It suggests a depth of character and a willingness to prioritize the relationship over individual pride. The word is also deeply rooted in the idea of 'en' (karmic connection), suggesting that those who are bound together must eventually find a way to clear the slate. It is not just about saying 'I'm sorry,' but about both parties reaching a state of grace where the grievance no longer holds power over their future interactions. This mutual absolution is seen as a peak of emotional intelligence in many Japanese social contexts.

長い間喧嘩していた兄弟がようやく許し合った。 (The brothers who had been fighting for a long time finally forgave each other.)

Emotional Depth: It conveys a sense of relief and the lifting of a mutual burden from the hearts of both participants.

Furthermore, in the context of international relations or historical grievances, 許し合う is the term used to describe the ideal state of reconciliation between nations. It implies a mutual recognition of suffering and a joint commitment to peace. This usage highlights the word's capacity to scale from intimate personal relationships to massive geopolitical entities. In religious contexts, particularly within Japanese Buddhism or Christianity, it represents the divine or spiritual mandate to release one another from the debt of sin or wrongdoing. The act is seen as transformative, turning enemies into allies or restoring broken families to a state of wholeness. It is a word that looks toward the future rather than dwelling on the past, making it a cornerstone of constructive dialogue.

平和のためには、お互いの罪を許し合う勇気が必要です。 (For the sake of peace, the courage to forgive each other's sins is necessary.)

愛とは、欠点を許し合うことだと言われています。 (It is said that love is about forgiving each other's flaws.)

Register: While appropriate for formal writing, it is also used in heartfelt, sincere personal conversations.

Ultimately, 許し合う is a testament to the human capacity for growth and empathy. It acknowledges that human interaction is messy and that mistakes are inevitable, but it offers a linguistic and conceptual path toward restoration. By choosing this word, a speaker emphasizes that the relationship is more important than the ego. It is about the 'us' rather than the 'me' or the 'you.' In a world of increasing polarization, this word serves as a reminder of the necessity of mutual concession and the shared humanity that allows us to overlook grievances for a greater good.

彼らは涙を流しながら、すべてを許し合った。 (Shedding tears, they forgave each other for everything.)

Using 許し合う (yurushiau) correctly requires an understanding of its grammatical structure as a compound verb. Since it is a Group 1 (Godan) verb, it follows standard conjugation patterns for verbs ending in -u. The primary grammatical requirement is a plural subject or a collective context. You will frequently see it paired with the adverb お互いに (otagai ni), which means 'mutually' or 'each other,' to emphasize the reciprocal nature of the action. For example, 'お互いに許し合う' (otagai ni yurushiau) explicitly states that both sides are participating. The verb can be used in various forms: the dictionary form (許し合う), the polite form (許し合います), the past tense (許し合った), and the te-form (許し合って) for connecting sentences or expressing ongoing states. Understanding these variations is key to natural usage.

Subject Agreement: The subject must be plural (we, they, the couple, the nations). Using 'I' as the sole subject is grammatically incorrect unless 'I' is part of a collective 'we'.

夫婦は喧嘩の後、お互いを許し合うことができた。 (After the fight, the couple was able to forgive each other.)

The verb is often used with the particle 'を' (wo) to indicate what is being forgiven, such as 過去 (kako - past), 過ち (ayamachi - mistakes), or 罪 (tsumi - sins). However, it can also be used intransitively when the focus is simply on the act of mutual forgiveness itself. In more complex sentences, you might see the potential form 許し合える (yurushiaeru), meaning 'can forgive each other.' This is common in expressions of hope or desire, such as '許し合える世界' (a world where people can forgive each other). The negative form 許し合えない (yurushiaenai) describes a tragic state of impasse where reconciliation is impossible. These nuances allow for a wide range of emotional expression, from optimistic to melancholic.

どうすれば私たちは許し合えるのでしょうか。 (How can we possibly forgive each other?)

Potential Form: 許し合える (yurushiaeru) is frequently used in philosophical or emotional contexts to discuss the possibility of peace.

In formal writing, such as in essays or speeches, the noun form 許し合い (yurushiai) might be used. For example, '許し合いの精神' (the spirit of mutual forgiveness). This treats the concept as an abstract virtue. In more casual settings, the volitional form 許し合おう (yurushiaou - let's forgive each other) is a powerful way to initiate a truce. This versatility makes it a vital tool for navigating the complexities of human relationships in Japanese. When using it, pay attention to the level of politeness; while the verb itself is neutral, the surrounding grammar dictates the tone. In a business context, you might use the more formal 和解する (wakai suru) for a legal settlement, but 許し合う for the restoration of a personal partnership within that business.

過去のことは忘れて、許し合おう。 (Let's forget the past and forgive each other.)

人間は完璧ではないからこそ、許し合う必要がある。 (Because humans are not perfect, we need to forgive each other.)

Conjugation Table: Dictionary: 許し合う | Masu: 許し合います | Te: 許し合って | Nai: 許し合わない | Ta: 許し合った.

Finally, consider the particles. Use 'と' (to) when specifying one party in relation to another: 'AさんはBさんと許し合った' (A and B forgave each other). Use 'が' (ga) or 'は' (wa) for the collective group: '二人が許し合う' (the two forgive each other). This precision in particle usage ensures that the reciprocity is clearly understood. In poetic or literary Japanese, you might see the verb used to describe natural elements metaphorically, but its heart remains in the human realm of conflict and resolution. Mastering its use allows you to express complex emotional resolutions with the brevity and weight that the Japanese language excels at providing.

私たちは互いの弱さを許し合って生きていく。 (We will live on, forgiving each other's weaknesses.)

You will encounter 許し合う (yurushiau) in a variety of poignant and significant settings in Japanese life and media. One of the most common places is in serialized dramas (dorama) and films, particularly in the climax of a family saga or a romantic tragedy. When characters who have harbored resentment for years finally come to a point of understanding, the script will often use this verb to signal a profound shift in their relationship. It is the language of 'emotional payoff.' Similarly, in the world of J-Pop, lyrics frequently employ 許し合う to describe the ideal, yet often difficult, state of a relationship. Songwriters use the term to evoke a sense of maturity and shared struggle, making it a staple of ballads and songs about long-term love or the complexities of friendship.

Anime and Manga: Often used in 'shonen' or 'seinen' series where rivals or enemies realize they have shared pain and choose to put down their weapons.

「もう、お互いを許し合おうじゃないか。」 (Why don't we just forgive each other already?)

In real-world settings, the word is prominent in counseling and therapy environments. Therapists in Japan might use this term to guide couples or family members toward a path of reconciliation. It is also a key concept in spiritual and religious discourses. Whether in a Buddhist sermon about letting go of attachments or a Christian sermon about grace, 許し合う is the standard term for mutual absolution. Furthermore, you will find it in literature, especially in the works of authors who explore the 'I-novel' (watakushi shosetsu) or psychological realism. These writers often delve into the internal struggle of wanting to forgive but finding it difficult, eventually reaching the catharsis of 許し合う. It is also heard in high-profile public apologies or reconciliation ceremonies between groups or communities.

その映画の最後で、二人はようやく許し合った。 (At the end of that movie, the two finally forgave each other.)

News and Media: Used when reporting on peace treaties or the resolution of long-standing community disputes.

Educational contexts also utilize this word. In Japanese schools, 'moral education' (doutoku) classes often teach children the importance of 許し合う as a way to maintain a healthy classroom environment. Teachers might use it to resolve a playground dispute, encouraging children not just to say 'sorry' but to understand and forgive each other. This early exposure cements the word's association with social responsibility and emotional maturity. In professional development or leadership seminars, it might be discussed in the context of psychological safety and team building, where members are encouraged to 'forgive each other's mistakes' to foster innovation. Thus, the word spans from the playground to the boardroom, always carrying its core message of mutual grace.

子供たちに、お互いを許し合うことの大切さを教える。 (Teach children the importance of forgiving each other.)

歌詞の中に「許し合えたら」というフレーズがあった。 (There was a phrase 'if only we could forgive each other' in the lyrics.)

Speeches: Often included in wedding speeches or eulogies to highlight the depth of a relationship's history.

In summary, 許し合う is a 'prestige' verb for emotional resolution. It is the word used when the stakes are high and the feelings are deep. Whether it's the resolution of a hundred-episode drama or a simple lesson in a primary school, the word serves as a linguistic bridge over troubled waters. By listening for it in these varied contexts, you gain a deeper appreciation for the Japanese emphasis on mutual effort in maintaining social and personal bonds. It is not just an action; it is a shared destination.

私たちは争いをやめ、許し合う道を選んだ。 (We stopped fighting and chose the path of forgiving each other.)

One of the most frequent mistakes learners make with 許し合う (yurushiau) is applying it to a one-sided situation. Because the suffix ~合う (au) inherently means 'each other,' you cannot use it if only one person is doing the forgiving. For example, if you want to say 'I forgave my friend,' you should use '私は友達を許した' (Watashi wa tomodachi wo yurushita). Using 許し合った (yurushiatta) in this context would imply that your friend also forgave you for something, which might not be what you intended to say. This error often stems from a misunderstanding of how compound verbs work in Japanese. Always ensure that the context involves mutual action before reaching for this specific verb.

Subject-Verb Mismatch: Mistake: 私は彼を許し合った。 (Incorrect) | Correct: 私たちは許し合った。 (We forgave each other.)

× 私は彼を許し合った。 (Incorrect: I forgave him each other.)

Another common error involves the use of particles. As mentioned, 許し合う requires a plural subject or a 'with' (to) particle. A common mistake is using the object particle 'wo' for the other person while using the reciprocal verb. For example, '彼を許し合う' (kare wo yurushiau) sounds unnatural because 'yurushiau' implies the action is happening between 'us.' The correct way to include the other person is '彼と許し合う' (kare to yurushiau - forgive each other with him). Furthermore, learners sometimes confuse 許し合う with other '~au' verbs like 話し合う (hanashiau - to discuss) or 助け合う (tasukeau - to help each other). While they share the same structure, the emotional weight of 許し合う is much higher, and it shouldn't be used casually for minor disagreements where 'making up' (仲直り) is more appropriate.

○ 彼と許し合うことができた。 (Correct: I was able to forgive each other with him.)

Confusion with 'Yurusu': Many learners use the basic 'yurusu' for everything. Remember that 'yurushiau' adds a layer of mutual reconciliation that 'yurusu' lacks.

Additionally, there is the issue of formality. While 許し合う is versatile, using it in a very casual, lighthearted setting can make the speaker sound overly dramatic. If you just had a minor tiff about what to eat for lunch, saying '許し合おう' (let's forgive each other) might be seen as 'over the top' or even sarcastic. In such cases, 'ごめんね' (gomen ne) and 'いいよ' (ii yo) are sufficient. Save 許し合う for moments of real significance. Lastly, ensure you don't confuse the kanji 許 (yurusu - forgive/permit) with other similar-looking kanji like 謝 (ayamaru - apologize). While related in concept, they are different actions. You apologize (謝る) in order to be forgiven (許される), and eventually, you both forgive each other (許し合う).

× 些細なことで許し合う。 (Mistake: Usually too heavy for 'trivial things'.)

○ 互いの非を認めて許し合う。 (Correct: Acknowledging mutual faults and forgiving each other.)

Kanji Precision: Mistaking 許 (permit) for 認 (recognize) is common. While you recognize (認める) a mistake, you forgive (許す) the person.

In summary, the key to avoiding mistakes with 許し合う is to focus on the 'mutual' and 'significant' aspects of the word. Ensure your subject is plural, your particles are correct (to or ga/wa), and the emotional weight of the situation justifies the use of such a powerful verb. By doing so, your Japanese will sound more nuanced and culturally attuned. Remember: it's a bridge built from both sides; if only one side is building, it's not 許し合う.

私たちはようやく許し合うことができた。 (We were finally able to forgive each other.)

While 許し合う (yurushiau) is a beautiful and specific term, several other Japanese words share its semantic space, each with its own unique nuance. Understanding these alternatives will help you choose the most appropriate word for any given situation. The most common alternative is 仲直りする (nakanaori suru), which literally means 'to repair a relationship.' This is the standard term for 'making up' after a fight and is used by people of all ages, from children on the playground to adults in romantic relationships. While 許し合う focuses on the internal act of forgiveness, 仲直りする focuses on the external result of being friends again. You might 許し合う (forgive each other) as a step toward 仲直りする (making up).

仲直りする (Nakanaori suru): Usage: To make up. Focuses on the restoration of the relationship. Common in daily life. Sentence: 喧嘩したけど、すぐに仲直りした。 (We fought, but we made up immediately.)
和解する (Wakai suru): Usage: To reconcile. More formal and often used in legal, political, or professional contexts. Sentence: 両国は和解の道を探っている。 (Both countries are searching for a path to reconciliation.)

和解と許し合うことは似ているが、和解はより公的なニュアンスがある。 (Reconciliation and forgiving each other are similar, but reconciliation has a more public nuance.)

Another interesting alternative is the idiom 水に流す (mizu ni nagasu), which means 'to let bygones be bygones' or literally 'to let it flow into the water.' This is a very Japanese way of saying 'let's just forget about the past and start over.' It doesn't necessarily involve the deep emotional processing of 許し合う; it's more about a practical decision to stop bringing up old grievances. For a more psychological or spiritual tone, one might use 寛容 (kan'you), meaning tolerance or open-mindedness. Being 寛容 with each other is a state of being that leads to 許し合う. In a business context, 妥協する (dakyou suru - to compromise) is often the practical reality of a situation where 許し合う might be too emotional a term.

すべてを水に流して、許し合おう。 (Let's wash everything away and forgive each other.)

妥協する (Dakyou suru): Usage: To compromise. Used when both sides give something up to reach an agreement. Sentence: 互いに妥協点を見つけた。 (We found a point of compromise with each other.)
歩み寄る (Ayumiyoru): Usage: To meet halfway. Literally 'to walk toward each other.' A very positive, active way to describe reconciliation. Sentence: 双方が歩み寄ることが大切だ。 (It is important for both sides to meet halfway.)

Furthermore, in religious or very formal literary contexts, you might encounter 宥和 (yuuwa - appeasement/reconciliation) or 恩赦 (onsha - amnesty). These are much rarer in daily conversation. When you want to emphasize the 'mutual acceptance' aspect without the focus on a specific 'wrongdoing,' 認め合う (mitomeau - to recognize/accept each other) is a great choice. It suggests a mutual respect for each other's existence and values. In conclusion, while 許し合う is the gold standard for mutual forgiveness, choosing 仲直り for casual situations, 和解 for formal ones, or 水に流す for a fresh start will make your Japanese sound more natural and precise.

お互いを認め合い、許し合うことが平和への第一歩だ。 (Recognizing each other and forgiving each other is the first step toward peace.)

いつか許し合える日が来ることを信じている。 (I believe a day will come when we can forgive each other.)

認める (Mitomeru): To admit or recognize. Used in 'mitomeau' to show mutual respect.

By mastering these synonyms and their specific contexts, you can navigate the delicate waters of Japanese interpersonal relations with confidence. Whether you are seeking a formal resolution or a heartfelt reconciliation, the right word is waiting for you. 許し合う remains the most profound of these, representing the ultimate human act of mutual grace.

喧嘩のあとの許し合いは、絆をより深める。 (Forgiving each other after a fight deepens the bond.)

How Formal Is It?

Fun Fact

The kanji for 'yurusu' (許) consists of 'words' (言) and 'noon/sign of the horse' (午). Some interpret this as speaking at the peak of clarity (noon) to allow something to pass. The 'au' (合) part depicts a lid over a container, symbolizing things coming together perfectly.

Pronunciation Guide

UK ju.ɾɯ.ɕi.a.ɯ

US ju.ɾu.ʃi.a.u

Japanese has pitch accent rather than stress. In 'yurushiau', the pitch typically rises on 'ru' and stays high until 'a', then drops on 'u' (Heiban/Atamadaka patterns vary by dialect, but standard is often flat).

Rhymes With

Warau (to laugh) Utau (to sing) Omou (to think) Kanau (to come true) Sasau (to support) Hiaru (to cool) Deau (to meet) Shiau (to do together)

Common Errors

Pronouncing 'r' like an English 'r'. It should be a Japanese tap.
Eliding the 'i' and 'a'. Make sure to pronounce 'shi' and 'a' as distinct syllables.
Using an English 'u' (oo) sound. Keep it unrounded and short.
Stressing one syllable too heavily. Aim for a flat rhythm.
Confusing the pitch with 'yurushiai' (the noun).

Difficulty Rating

Reading 3/5

The kanji 許 is common, and the compound structure is a standard B1 pattern.

Writing 3/5

Writing 許 requires attention to the strokes of the 'words' radical.

Speaking 2/5

Easy to pronounce once the ~au suffix pattern is understood.

Listening 2/5

The 'shiau' ending is distinct and easy to recognize in emotional scenes.

What to Learn Next

Prerequisites

許す (yurusu) 合う (au) お互いに (otagai ni) 喧嘩 (kenka) 謝る (ayamaru)

Learn Next

和解 (wakai) 妥協 (dakyou) 寛容 (kan'you) 慈悲 (jihi) 恩讐 (onshuu)

Advanced

宥和 (yuuwa) 恩赦 (onsha) 水に流す (mizu ni nagasu) 雨降って地固まる (ame futte ji katamaru)

Grammar to Know

Reciprocal Verbs (~合う)

私たちは助け合います。 (We help each other.)

Compound Verb Conjugation

許し合いましょう。 (Let's forgive each other.)

Potential Form of Compound Verbs

許し合えるはずだ。 (We should be able to forgive each other.)

Te-form for Continuing Actions

許し合って、前に進む。 (Forgive each other and move forward.)

Noun formation from Masu-stem (~合い)

許し合いが大切だ。 (Mutual forgiveness is important.)

Examples by Level

私たちは許し合います。

We forgive each other.

Simple present tense of a compound verb.

お互いに許し合いましょう。

Let's forgive each other.

Volitional form (~mashou) for suggestion.

彼らは許し合った。

They forgave each other.

Past tense (~atta).

許し合うことはいいことです。

Forgiving each other is a good thing.

Using a verb as a noun phrase with 'koto'.

私たちはもう許し合いました。

We have already forgiven each other.

Completed action in the past.

友達と許し合いたい。

I want to forgive each other with my friend.

Desire form (~tai).

二人で許し合おう。

Let's the two of us forgive each other.

Informal volitional form (~ou).

許し合うのは難しいですか？

Is it difficult to forgive each other?

Question form with 'no wa'.

喧嘩の後、二人は許し合った。

After the fight, the two forgave each other.

Using 'no ato' to show sequence.

家族はいつも許し合います。

Families always forgive each other.

Adverb 'itsumo' with polite present tense.

お互いに許し合うことが大切です。

It is important to forgive each other.

Noun phrase subject with 'ga taisetsu desu'.

私たちはまだ許し合っていない。

We haven't forgiven each other yet.

Negative continuous state (~te inai).

いつか許し合えるようになりたい。

I want to become able to forgive each other someday.

Potential form (~aeru) + 'ni naritai'.

どうして許し合えないの？

Why can't we forgive each other?

Potential negative with explanatory 'no'.

許し合って、また友達になろう。

Let's forgive each other and be friends again.

Te-form to connect actions.

昨日はお互い許し合いましたか？

Did you forgive each other yesterday?

Past polite question.

長い時間をかけて、彼らはようやく許し合った。

Taking a long time, they finally forgave each other.

Using 'te-form' for duration and 'youyaku' for 'finally'.

お互いの過ちを許し合う勇気が必要です。

The courage to forgive each other's mistakes is necessary.

Noun modification with the verb phrase.

愛し合っているなら、許し合うこともできるはずだ。

If you love each other, you should be able to forgive each other.

Conditional 'nara' and expectation 'hazu'.

私たちは過去を水に流して、許し合うことにした。

We decided to let the past go and forgive each other.

'Koto ni shita' expressing a decision.

許し合うことで、心の平穏が得られる。

By forgiving each other, peace of mind can be obtained.

'De' particle indicating the means/method.

二人が許し合うまで、ここを動かない。

I won't leave here until the two forgive each other.

'Made' indicating the time limit.

お互いに許し合わなければ、解決しない。

If we don't forgive each other, it won't be resolved.

Conditional 'nakereba'.

許し合える関係を築くのは大変だ。

It's hard to build a relationship where you can forgive each other.

Potential verb modifying a noun.

真の和解には、単なる謝罪だけでなく許し合う精神が不可欠だ。

For true reconciliation, not just an apology but a spirit of mutual forgiveness is essential.

Use of 'fukaketsu' (essential) and 'dake de naku' (not only).

彼らは互いの弱さを認め、許し合って生きていくことを誓った。

They vowed to live on by recognizing each other's weaknesses and forgiving each other.

Parallel verbs in te-form and 'chikatta' (vowed).

宗教的な観点から見れば、許し合うことは神聖な行為とされる。

From a religious perspective, forgiving each other is considered a sacred act.

'Kanten kara mireba' (from the perspective of).

過去の遺恨を超えて許し合うのは、決して容易なことではない。

Forgiving each other beyond past grudges is by no means an easy thing.

'Kesshite ~ nai' (never/by no means).

私たちが許し合うことでしか、この争いは終わらないだろう。

This conflict will probably only end by us forgiving each other.

'De shika ~ nai' (only by/nothing but).

互いに許し合える日が来ることを、切に願っています。

I earnestly hope for the day to come when we can forgive each other.

Adverb 'setsu ni' (earnestly).

許し合いの精神こそが、コミュニティの再生に繋がる。

The spirit of mutual forgiveness is exactly what leads to the rebirth of the community.

Emphasis particle 'koso'.

たとえ許し合えなくても、歩み寄る努力はすべきだ。

Even if we can't forgive each other, we should make an effort to meet halfway.

Concessive 'tatoe ~ nakute mo' (even if).

歴史的な対立を背景に持つ両者が許し合うには、多大な時間を要する。

It takes a great deal of time for two parties with a background of historical conflict to forgive each other.

Complex noun phrase 'haikei ni motsu' (having as a background).

自己の非を認める謙虚さがあってこそ、初めて許し合うことが可能となる。

It is only when there is the humility to admit one's own faults that forgiving each other becomes possible for the first time.

'Atte koso' (only because there is) and 'hajimete' (for the first time).

文学作品において、許し合うシーンはしばしば人間性の回復を象徴する。

In literary works, scenes of mutual forgiveness often symbolize the restoration of humanity.

Passive form 'shouchou sareru' or active 'shouchou suru'.

双方が譲歩し、許し合うことで、泥沼化した訴訟に終止符が打たれた。

By both sides conceding and forgiving each other, an end was put to the bogged-down lawsuit.

Idiom 'shuushifu ga utareru' (to put an end to).

許し合うという行為は、単なる感情の処理を超えた倫理的な決断である。

The act of forgiving each other is an ethical decision that transcends mere emotional processing.

'Koeta' (transcended) modifying a noun.

互いに許し合えない苦しみは、魂を蝕んでいく。

The pain of not being able to forgive each other eats away at the soul.

Metaphorical verb 'mushibamu' (to eat away/corrode).

共生社会の実現には、異質な他者と許し合う寛容さが求められる。

To realize a symbiotic society, the tolerance to forgive each other with diverse others is required.

Passive 'motomerareru' (is required).

悲劇の連鎖を断ち切る唯一の手段は、互いに許し合うことのみである。

The only means to break the chain of tragedy is solely to forgive each other.

Noun 'nomi' (only/solely).

究極の愛とは、相手の存在そのものを肯定し、永遠に許し合い続けることだ。

Ultimate love is to affirm the very existence of the other and to continue forgiving each other eternally.

Compound verb 'yurushiai-tsuzukeru' (continue to forgive each other).

赦罪と恩寵の弁証法の中で、人間は許し合うという超越的な次元に達する。

Within the dialectic of absolution and grace, humans reach the transcendent dimension of mutual forgiveness.

Highly academic vocabulary: 'benshouhou' (dialectic), 'chouetsuteki' (transcendent).

許し合うことが不可能な状況下においても、その可能性を模索し続けるのが理性の務めである。

Even under circumstances where forgiving each other is impossible, it is the duty of reason to continue searching for that possibility.

'Joukyouka ni oite mo' (even under the circumstances).

国家間の歴史認識の乖離を埋めるには、政治的妥協を超えた許し合いの儀礼が必要かもしれない。

To bridge the gap in historical perception between nations, a ritual of mutual forgiveness transcending political compromise may be necessary.

'Kairi' (divergence/gap) and 'girei' (ritual/etiquette).

許し合うという静かな革命が、世界の地政学的地図を塗り替える可能性を秘めている。

The quiet revolution of forgiving each other harbors the potential to redraw the geopolitical map of the world.

Metaphorical 'shizuka na kakumei' (quiet revolution).

存在の根源的な孤独を癒やすのは、他者と深く許し合う瞬間に他ならない。

What heals the fundamental loneliness of existence is nothing other than the moment of deeply forgiving each other with another.

'Ni hoka naranai' (is nothing other than).

許し合うことの拒絶は、精神的な死を意味するとの哲学的命題を考察する。

We consider the philosophical proposition that the refusal to forgive each other signifies spiritual death.

'To no' modifying 'meidai' (proposition).

無意識下の葛藤が解消され、双方が許し合うとき、真の自己変容が始まる。

When subconscious conflicts are resolved and both sides forgive each other, true self-transformation begins.

Temporal clause 'toki' connecting to 'jikohanyou' (self-transformation).

Common Collocations

お互いに許し合う

過去を許し合う

過ちを許し合う

許し合う心

ようやく許し合う

許し合える関係

互いの罪を許し合う

許し合う勇気

決して許し合わない

許し合いの精神

Common Phrases

許し合うことが大切

— Forgiving each other is important. A common moral teaching.

どんな時でも、許し合うことが大切です。

すべてを許し合う

— To forgive each other for everything. Implies total reconciliation.

彼らはすべてを許し合って、再婚した。

いつか許し合える

— Can forgive each other someday. Expresses hope for the future.

いつか許し合える日が来ると信じています。

許し合おうじゃないか

— Why don't we forgive each other? A suggestion to end a fight.

もう意地を張るのはやめて、許し合おうじゃないか。

許し合えない二人

— Two people who cannot forgive each other. Used in tragic contexts.

彼らは結局、許し合えないまま別れた。

許し合う努力

— Effort to forgive each other. Emphasizes that it's a process.

許し合う努力を怠ってはいけない。

互いに許し合って

— Forgiving each other... (continuing the sentence).

互いに許し合って、共に歩んでいこう。

許し合うことで救われる

— Being saved by forgiving each other. Spiritual or psychological.

許し合うことで、自分自身も救われるのです。

許し合いの場

— A place for mutual forgiveness. A setting for reconciliation.

そこは、加害者と被害者が許し合う場となった。

許し合う瞬間

— The moment of mutual forgiveness. Highlighting the emotional peak.

許し合う瞬間の美しさは忘れられない。

Often Confused With

許し合う vs 許す (yurusu)

One-sided forgiveness vs. mutual.

許し合う vs 認め合う (mitomeau)

Mutual recognition/acceptance vs. mutual forgiveness.

許し合う vs 仲直りする (nakanaori suru)

The social act of making up vs. the internal act of forgiving.

Idioms & Expressions

"水に流す"

— To let the past be forgotten. Often used as a precursor to 許し合う.

昔のことは水に流そう。

Neutral

"雨降って地固まる"

— After the rain, the ground hardens. Relationships become stronger after a fight and 許し合う.

喧嘩したけど、雨降って地固まるだね。

Proverb

"昨日の敵は今日の友"

— Yesterday's enemy is today's friend. Often happens when enemies 許し合う.

まさに昨日の敵は今日の友だ。

Proverb

"丸く収まる"

— To settle peacefully. The result of people 許し合う.

一件は丸く収まった。

Neutral

"恩讐を越える"

— To go beyond love and hate. A very deep state of 許し合う.

彼らは恩讐を越えて許し合った。

Literary

"矛を収める"

— To sheath the spear. To stop fighting and move toward 許し合う.

双方が矛を収めた。

Idiomatic

"雪解け"

— Thawing of snow. Used to describe the softening of hearts leading to 許し合う.

二人の関係に雪解けが訪れた。

Metaphorical

"懐を広げる"

— To open one's heart/bosom. To be generous enough to 許し合う.

懐を広げて彼を許し合おう。

Neutral

"角が取れる"

— The sharp corners are removed. To become mellow and ready to 許し合う.

彼も年をとって角が取れた。

Neutral

"袖振り合うも多生の縁"

— Even a chance meeting is due to karma. A reason to 許し合う.

袖振り合うも多生の縁だから、許し合おう。

Proverb

Easily Confused

許し合う vs 謝り合う (ayamariau)

Both involve resolving a conflict.

Ayamariau is 'to apologize to each other,' while yurushiau is 'to forgive each other.' One is the request, the other is the grant.

まず謝り合ってから、許し合う。

許し合う vs 話し合う (hanashiau)

Both are compound verbs with -au.

Hanashiau is 'to discuss,' which might lead to yurushiau but isn't the same.

よく話し合って、許し合った。

許し合う vs 助け合う (tasukeau)

Both imply positive mutual action.

Tasukeau is 'to help each other' in a task, not necessarily involving a conflict.

困難な時は助け合い、ミスは許し合う。

許し合う vs 愛し合う (aishiau)

Both describe deep relationships.

Aishiau is 'to love each other.' Forgiveness is often a part of love, but the verbs are distinct.

愛し合う二人は、すぐに許し合える。

許し合う vs 和解する (wakai suru)

Similar meaning of reconciliation.

Wakai suru is more formal and often used for legal/official settlements.

裁判で和解したが、心から許し合ってはいない。

Sentence Patterns

[Group] + は + 許し合った。

家族は許し合った。

[Person A] + は + [Person B] + と + 許し合った。

田中さんは佐藤さんと許し合った。

お互いに + [Mistake] + を + 許し合う。

お互いに過ちを許し合う。

[Verb-te] + 許し合う。

話し合って許し合う。

許し合える + [Noun]

許し合える仲。

許し合う + ことで + [Result]

許し合うことで平和が訪れる。

許し合いの + [Noun]

許し合いの精神。

たとえ + [Condition] + とも、許し合う。

たとえ困難であろうとも、許し合う。

Word Family

Nouns

許し (yurushi) - Forgiveness

許し合い (yurushiai) - Mutual forgiveness

許可 (kyoka) - Permission

許容 (kyoyou) - Tolerance

Verbs

許す (yurusu) - To forgive/permit

許される (yurusareru) - To be forgiven

許し合う (yurushiau) - To forgive each other

見逃す (minogasu) - To overlook/forgive a mistake

Adjectives

許しがたい (yurushigatai) - Unforgivable

寛容な (kan'you na) - Tolerant/forgiving

和解 (wakai) - Reconciliation

謝罪 (shazai) - Apology

恩赦 (onsha) - Pardon

慈悲 (jihi) - Mercy

和 (wa) - Harmony

How to Use It

frequency

Common in emotional/literary contexts; rare in everyday casual banter.

Common Mistakes

私は彼を許し合った。 → 私たちは許し合った。 / 私は彼と許し合った。
You cannot 'yurushiau' someone else alone. The subject must be plural or the particle 'to' must be used to indicate the other participant.
お互いに許す。 → お互いに許し合う。
While 'otagai ni yurusu' is technically understandable, 'yurushiau' is the natural way to express mutual action in Japanese.
些細なことで許し合う。 → 些細なことで仲直りする。
Using 'yurushiau' for trivial matters sounds overly dramatic. Use 'nakanaori suru' for light disagreements.
許し合うをしましょう。 → 許し合いましょう。
You conjugate the verb itself; you don't use 'noun + wo shimashou' for compound verbs like this.
彼らは許し合いした。 → 彼らは許し合った。
This is a Godan verb, not a Suru-verb. It conjugates as 'yurushiatta', not 'yurushiai shita'.

Tips

Pair with 'Otagai ni'

Always consider adding 'お互いに' (otagai ni) to your sentence. It makes the 'mutual' meaning crystal clear and sounds more natural in Japanese.

Conjugate the 'Au' part

Remember that 'yurushi' stays the same, and you only conjugate 'au'. It's a standard Godan verb: au, aimasu, atte, atta, awanai.

Save it for the big moments

Because of its emotional weight, save '許し合う' for significant reconciliations. Using it for trivial things might make you sound like a drama character.

Listen for the 'shiau' suffix

The 'shiau' sound is a common pattern for mutual actions (話し合う, 助け合う). Recognizing this pattern will help you understand many other verbs.

Kanji stroke order

Pay close attention to the radical 言 (words) in 許. It highlights that forgiveness is often something spoken or expressed through communication.

Use the Potential Form

Practice saying '許し合える' (can forgive each other). It's a very common way to express hope or a philosophical stance in conversation.

Learn the Noun Form

Learn '許し合い' (yurushiai). It's useful for talking about the *concept* of mutual forgiveness as a virtue or a goal.

Harmony is the goal

In Japan, the goal of 許し合う is often to restore 'Wa' (harmony). Keep this cultural goal in mind when choosing to use this word.

Vs. Nakanaori

If you just want to say 'we made up,' use '仲直りした.' If you want to say 'we forgave each other's deep hurts,' use '許し合った'.

Global Peace

This is a great word for discussing peace and conflict resolution in a formal or academic essay about world affairs.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'Yurusu' as 'You loose' (the anger) and 'Au' as 'Our' (shared action). 'You loose our anger together' = 許し合う.

Visual Association

Imagine two people holding a tangled knot (the fight) and both pulling their ends to loosen it until it disappears.

Word Web

許す (Forgive) 合う (Together) 仲直り (Make up) 平和 (Peace) 愛 (Love) 家族 (Family) 心 (Heart) 和 (Harmony)

Challenge

Try to write a short dialogue where two enemies meet and use the word '許し合おう' to end their conflict.

Word Origin

The word is a compound of the ancient Japanese verb 'yurusu' and the auxiliary 'au'. 'Yurusu' originally meant to loosen or untie, evolving into the sense of releasing someone from a debt or fault. 'Au' comes from 'au' (to meet), used as a suffix to indicate mutual interaction.

Original meaning: To mutually loosen the bonds of grievance or debt.

Japonic (Yamato Kotoba).

Cultural Context

Be careful using this in very casual situations; it can sound heavy or overly sentimental if the conflict was minor.

In English, we often say 'forgive and forget.' 許し合う focuses more on the 'mutual' aspect of the act rather than the forgetting.

The final scene of many 'humanist' Japanese films like those by Hirokazu Kore-eda. Buddhist scriptures discussing the release of 'En' (grudges). Lyrics by popular artists like Mr. Children or Hikaru Utada.

Practice in Real Life

Real-World Contexts

Family Reconciliation

親子の確執を許し合う
兄弟で許し合う
すべてを許し合ってやり直す
許し合う勇気を持つ

Romantic Relationships

浮気を許し合う (rare/heavy)
欠点を許し合う
お互いの過去を許し合う
許し合える二人になりたい

International Peace

国と国が許し合う
歴史を許し合う
平和のために許し合う
許し合いの精神が必要だ

Spiritual Growth

罪を許し合う
魂のレベルで許し合う
神の前で許し合う
許し合うことで救われる

Literature/Drama

ついに許し合った二人
許し合えない悲劇
許し合いの結末
涙の許し合い

Conversation Starters

"どうすれば、二人は許し合えると思いますか？ (How do you think the two can forgive each other?)"

"過去の過ちを許し合うのは、難しいことでしょうか？ (Is it difficult to forgive each other's past mistakes?)"

"許し合うために一番大切なことは何だと思いますか？ (What do you think is the most important thing for forgiving each other?)"

"あなたは今まで、誰かと深く許し合った経験がありますか？ (Have you ever had an experience of deeply forgiving each other with someone?)"

"映画の中で、二人が許し合うシーンに感動しましたか？ (Were you moved by the scene where the two forgive each other in the movie?)"

Journal Prompts

今日、誰かと許し合うことができましたか？その時の気持ちを書いてください。 (Were you able to forgive each other with someone today? Write about your feelings then.)

もし世界中の人々が許し合えたら、どんな世界になると思いますか？ (If people all over the world could forgive each other, what kind of world do you think it would be?)

許し合うことができない理由について、深く考えてみましょう。 (Think deeply about the reasons why people cannot forgive each other.)

自分と誰かが許し合うための第一歩は何だと思いますか？ (What do you think is the first step for you and someone to forgive each other?)

「許し合う」という言葉から連想するイメージや色を説明してください。 (Explain the images or colors you associate with the word 'yurushiau'.)

Frequently Asked Questions

10 questions

You can, but it might sound a bit dramatic. For minor things, '仲直りする' or just saying 'ごめん' and 'いいよ' is more common. Use 許し合う when there's a deeper emotional weight.

Use 'と' (to) if you are mentioning one person: 'AとBが許し合う'. Use 'が' or 'は' for a group: '二人が許し合う'. To mention the thing forgiven, use 'を': '過去を許し合う'.

It is neutral but leans toward a serious or literary tone. It's appropriate for polite conversation (許し合います) and informal settings (許し合おう), but it's not 'slang'.

Generally, yes. The reciprocity of '~au' suggests that both sides are participating in the act of clearing the slate, which often implies mutual grievances.

It's better to use '和解する' or '妥協点を見出す' in a strictly professional context. 許し合う sounds a bit too personal/emotional for most business emails.

謝り合う is saying 'sorry' to each other. 許し合う is saying 'I forgive you' to each other. Usually, you 謝り合う first, and then you 許し合う.

Yes, in the context of forgiveness, 許 is the standard kanji. There are other kanji for 'yurusu' (like 赦 in 赦免), but they are very formal or religious.

You use the negative potential form: '私たちは許し合えない' (Watashitachi wa yurushiaenai).

Yes, it can be used for a group, a family, or even nations. As long as the action is mutual among the members of the group.

Yes, very common in scenes where rivals become friends or after a big emotional confrontation between characters.