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Trump Launches War with Iran and Refuses to Explain... Anything | The Daily Show
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زیرنویسها (515 بخشها)
Holy MAN. GREAT ON YOU. WE got a
great one for you tonight. My name is
John Stewart. Later on, I will be
talking with uh just the most incredible
director, fabulous uh director, Iranian
director, JAFAR PANAHI WILL BE JOINING
US.
He as right now he's got an Oscar
nominated film called It Was just an
accident which explores the trauma of
living under an oppressive sensorious
theocratic dictatorship. I'm not going
to tell you how it ends. But um
BUT HEY, WE'RE BACK. IT'S MONDAY. AND
WHILE WE had originally planned a
different show,
I thought would be a kind of a
trenchant, really superbly witty episode
on the unforeseen economic effects of
government subsidies on well-intentioned
social service programs.
It was going to be a banger.
That was that was Friday
and a lot has blown up since then.
As America has once again returned to
the only East, we can't get enough of
exploding, the middle one. In our 20y
year recurring segment,
nothing bad can happen. It can only good
happen.
I've missed you, Mesopotamian.
Early Saturday morning, American Israel
launched a surprise war against Iran. I
call a surprise war because here's what
one of the mediators said after
negotiations on Friday. I am confident
and in my assessment of the way the
talks are going, the peace deal is
within our reach. Oh, the peace deal is
within.
But it turns out the bombshit button was
much closer.
The devastating effects of a regional
war have made everyone very nervous and
one person very happy.
>> This enables us to do what I have long
hoped to do for 40 years. What?
I've had four decades of regime change
blue balls.
But of course, the announcement that our
nation is at war is the most solemn
moment of any president's tenure and an
opportunity to reassure an anxious
nation, to reaffirm the righteousness of
the cause.
>> A short time ago, the United States
military began major combat operations
in Iran.
>> Yeah. I'm sorry. Can I just jump in here
real quick? Um,
this is how we're doing this.
2 a.m. Mara Lago basement. No lighting.
You don't even have one of those
influencer halo things.
Justing go down in the basement and this
is what we're wearing.
BLAZER, NO TIE, SHIRT UNBUTTONED.
Looking more like the father of the
bride settling up with the caterer.
Is that what we're doing?
And not to nitpick obviously, but
baseball hat.
We're going with a baseball hat for a
war of choice. Oh, I'm going to go down
and MAKE MY WAR ANNOUNCEMENT. DON'T
FORGET THE HAT I GOT YOU
AT THE AIRPORT SOUVENIR STORE.
IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. PUT IT ON.
IT GOES GREAT IN THE DARK.
Jesus man. YOU HAD ALL THE
OPTIONS. IT'S A WAR OF CHOICE. YOU COULD
HAVE DONE THIS at the White House in a
suit in the I killed BIN LADEN HALLWAY.
BUT NO, you decided to go with vacation
house trucker hat guy who was about to
make an announcement at his club's
member member tournament.
It's classy.
Reminds me of FDR's day that we'll live
in infamy speech.
We have nothing to fear but glare in my
eyes.
But at the very least, we should at
least be thankful that the hat is on
forwards.
We're taking our nation to war.
It's all right. I'll give you a
mulligan. Come back tomorrow. Dress for
the war you want. and then you can give
us perhaps a more sober launching of
this incredibly consequential moment.
>> The United States and its partners have
launched Operation Epic Fury. I'm going
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