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The War that Changed the English Language - Mini-Wars #3
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England in the Middle Ages.
The sun is shining,
the birds are singing,
the children are playing in the village square.
'What a wonderful time to be alive!'
'Hey, you're dying of dysentery.
And also we're being raided by Vikings.'
'What an awful time to be alive!'
It's the year 900.
Europe is a Viking's wet dream.
Raids galore.
'Hey, you wanna go raid Paris?'
'Okay.'
That particular raid didn't go too well,
but the King of the Franks said, 'You guys are pretty tough and scary.
How about we give you land in northern France,
and in return,
you protect us from other Vikings.'
And it was agreed.
The Vikings set up the Duchy of Normandy,
and then they went full-on French,
converting to Christianity,
learning the language,
and making babies with the locals.
England also had its fair share of Viking problems.
In the 800s
Danish Vikings had conquered most of the country,
but the Anglo-Saxons eventually managed to kick them out.
Although they left behind a bunch of Viking settlers.
Now this guy is King.
'He sucks. Replace him with his brother.'
And he was like, 'Hey baby, how you doin'?'
and had a son, and then turned around and was like,
'Hey baby, how you doin'?'
and had another son.
And then he died, and no one was sure which son to make King.
'This one, 'cause he's older.'
'Not if I have anything to do with it.'
'That works for us too.'
Then he grew up and married the Duke of Normandy's daughter,
and had a bunch of kids.
Remember this one.
He's important.
Then his advisors came to him and said,
'Hey man.
All those Viking settlers that are living here...
they might band together.
And kill you.'
'Well then why don't we kill them first?'
And so it was.
This pissed off the Danish King, who launched an invasion
and the Vikings conquered England once again.
Then the Anglo-Saxons un-conquered it.
Then the Vikings re-conquered it.
The King's family had to go into exile,
including Edward.
Remember him?
He went to Normandy, where he lived for thirty years.
He and his brother Alfred tried to return to England to retake the throne from the Vikings,
but they were betrayed by the Earl of Wessex who said,
'Hey friend. I'll take you to London where all the nobles are waiting to make you King -
Oh no, look out, red-hot poker in the eyes!'
'I can't see!'
'And thus you can't be King.'
Edward then escaped back to Normandy.
After a few more Viking Kings came and went,
one finally died without an heir,
and Edward was called back to England where he became King.
And that's where our story begins.
Here's the thing about becoming a King in the Middle Ages.
Often your entire country won't support you at first,
you can be vulnerable to rebellions,
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