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Top 10 Conan O'Brien Funniest Interviews (2018)
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so he did want to use the show tonight
as a showcase for some of my other
characters just to prove how versatile I
can be oh sure yeah well maybe we should
see one you have other character that
you do I have one and I'll show it to
you right now it's called the
understanding Scotsman the understanding
Scotsman that's right okay you can just
sort that into any movie Spielberg
Soderbergh I can't think of any other
directors do are you ready okay this is
the understanding Scotsman yeah I
understand I'm famous for going into a
McDonald's in a very dangerous
neighborhood dressed as a chicken and I
had a bunch of little kids that were
also addressing chickens costumes
because we were doing the ugly duckling
at the community theater mm-hmm and this
isn't like a funny story but I just
asked the woman at the counter if I
could have a 20-piece human McNugget I
said we don't have that and I was like
well what do you have and she said
chicken and then I started screaming and
like squawking now Twitter handle is
evil hag speaking of which she presents
your Twitter handle it evil hag why evil
hag because I like it I don't know
because why sorry
why do I feel like you're my daughter
and we've got to talk about this report
card done Botox you've done Botox
oh yeah and I'll do it again III don't
have it now but listen girls get it done
it doesn't make you look younger but if
you get these two lines right here this
is where you hold all your empathy so
it'll take it out for you and it's so
fun to just look psychotic for a while
and you literally are like operating
like a psychopath I couldn't be so I
feel like I'm an open wound all the time
just like I'm sorry I'm sorry but I was
just like I'm sorry your mom died and
just like God God screwed up with me
keep it pulled from the lock wrong lip
been like my got down here what I went
up here and I got up here what I went
down there and and I know that I wasn't
planning on talking about this but why
not okay you know it's Bob Newhart has
he left the building
back ok you know how when most girls
stand it's just a line well for me and I
know you're like what's the ghastly
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