In 15 Seconds
- Used for the legal process of ending a marriage.
- Combines reflexive 'sich' with 'scheiden' and 'lassen'.
- Requires a legal marriage; not for casual breakups.
Meaning
This phrase is the standard way to say a couple is legally ending their marriage. It describes the process of going through a divorce rather than just the state of being divorced.
Key Examples
3 of 6Gossiping with a friend
Hast du gehört? Markus und Sabine lassen sich scheiden.
Did you hear? Markus and Sabine are getting divorced.
Talking to a lawyer
Wir haben uns entschieden, uns einvernehmlich scheiden zu lassen.
We have decided to get divorced by mutual consent.
Explaining family history
Meine Eltern haben sich scheiden lassen, als ich fünf war.
My parents got divorced when I was five.
Cultural Background
The 'Trennungsjahr' is a legal requirement. Couples must live separately for a year to prove the marriage is 'zerrüttet' (broken down). In Austria, there is still a 'Verschuldensprinzip' (fault principle) where the court can decide who is to blame for the divorce, which affects alimony. Swiss law allows for a 'Scheidung auf gemeinsames Begehren' (divorce by mutual request), which is faster and less bureaucratic. The phrase reflects the secularization of marriage, moving from a religious 'sacrament' to a legal 'contract' that can be dissolved.
The 'Lassen' Rule
Always remember that 'lassen' is the engine of this phrase. Without it, you aren't describing the legal process.
Reflexive Pronouns
Don't forget to change 'sich' to 'mich', 'dich', 'uns', or 'euch' depending on who is getting divorced!
In 15 Seconds
- Used for the legal process of ending a marriage.
- Combines reflexive 'sich' with 'scheiden' and 'lassen'.
- Requires a legal marriage; not for casual breakups.
What It Means
sich scheiden lassen is the official way to talk about getting a divorce. It implies a legal process. In German, you don't just 'divorce' someone. You 'let yourself be divorced.' It sounds a bit passive, doesn't it? But it's the most common way to say it. It covers everything from the first lawyer visit to the final court date.
How To Use It
This phrase is a reflexive construction using the verb lassen. You need three parts: the reflexive pronoun sich, the verb scheiden, and the auxiliary lassen. For example: Wir lassen uns scheiden. If you are talking about the past, you say: Sie haben sich scheiden lassen. Notice that lassen stays at the end in the perfect tense. It acts like a modal verb here. Don't forget to match sich to the subject. Ich lasse mich scheiden or Ihr lasst euch scheiden.
When To Use It
Use this when discussing legal marital status. It fits in serious conversations with friends. It also works in professional or legal settings. You might hear it at a dinner party when gossiping. You will definitely hear it at a lawyer's office. It's the correct term for official documents too. Even if the split is friendly, this is the term you use.
When NOT To Use It
Do not use this for a simple breakup. If you weren't married, use sich trennen. It sounds very strange to use scheiden for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Also, avoid it if the divorce is already finished. In that case, use geschieden sein. Don't use it for inanimate objects either. You don't 'divorce' your car; you just sell it!
Cultural Background
In Germany, getting a divorce isn't an overnight thing. You usually have to complete a Trennungsjahr. That is a mandatory one-year separation period. The law wants to make sure you are really sure. Because of this, sich scheiden lassen often describes a long process. It’s not just a quick signature. It’s a year-long journey of paperwork and patience.
Common Variations
The most common variation is the noun die Scheidung. You might say die Scheidung einreichen to mean filing for divorce. Another one is geschieden sein, which describes the final state. Some people use auseinandergehen for a softer, less legal vibe. But for the actual legal act, sich scheiden lassen remains king.
Usage Notes
The phrase is neutral and universally understood. The biggest hurdle is the reflexive 'sich' and the causative 'lassen' working together, especially in the past tense.
The 'Lassen' Rule
Always remember that 'lassen' is the engine of this phrase. Without it, you aren't describing the legal process.
Reflexive Pronouns
Don't forget to change 'sich' to 'mich', 'dich', 'uns', or 'euch' depending on who is getting divorced!
Trennungsjahr
If you use the word 'Trennungsjahr' in a conversation about divorce, you will sound like a native speaker who knows German law.
Examples
6Hast du gehört? Markus und Sabine lassen sich scheiden.
Did you hear? Markus and Sabine are getting divorced.
A very common way to share news about an acquaintance.
Wir haben uns entschieden, uns einvernehmlich scheiden zu lassen.
We have decided to get divorced by mutual consent.
The term 'einvernehmlich' makes it sound professional and cooperative.
Meine Eltern haben sich scheiden lassen, als ich fünf war.
My parents got divorced when I was five.
Used here in the past tense to describe a completed life event.
Ich ziehe aus. Wir lassen uns scheiden.
I'm moving out. We're getting divorced.
Short and direct for a serious personal update.
Ich sollte mich von meiner Schokolade scheiden lassen!
I should get a divorce from my chocolate!
Using the legal term for a funny, metaphorical effect.
Man kann sich in Deutschland nicht sofort scheiden lassen.
You can't get divorced immediately in Germany.
Refers to the mandatory separation year.
Test Yourself
Fill in the missing words for the reflexive and causative parts.
Wir haben ____ nach zehn Jahren Ehe scheiden ____.
In the Perfekt tense with 'lassen' as a causative, we use the double infinitive 'scheiden lassen'.
Choose the correct preposition.
Er lässt sich ____ seiner Frau scheiden.
The fixed preposition for 'sich scheiden lassen' is 'von' + Dativ.
Complete the dialogue with the correct form of the phrase.
A: Warum ist Thomas so traurig? B: Er und seine Frau ______ ______ gerade ______ ______.
The subject is 'Er und seine Frau' (they), so we use 'lassen' and the reflexive 'sich'.
Match the sentence to the correct context.
Sentence: 'Sie haben sich gütlich scheiden lassen.'
'Gütlich' means amicable or peaceful.
🎉 Score: /4
Visual Learning Aids
Practice Bank
4 exercisesWir haben ____ nach zehn Jahren Ehe scheiden ____.
In the Perfekt tense with 'lassen' as a causative, we use the double infinitive 'scheiden lassen'.
Er lässt sich ____ seiner Frau scheiden.
The fixed preposition for 'sich scheiden lassen' is 'von' + Dativ.
A: Warum ist Thomas so traurig? B: Er und seine Frau ______ ______ gerade ______ ______.
The subject is 'Er und seine Frau' (they), so we use 'lassen' and the reflexive 'sich'.
Sentence: 'Sie haben sich gütlich scheiden lassen.'
'Gütlich' means amicable or peaceful.
🎉 Score: /4
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsNo, that is incorrect. You must use 'lassen'. The correct form is 'Ich lasse mich scheiden'.
Yes, strictly. For unmarried couples, use 'sich trennen'.
In the Perfekt, it is 'hat sich scheiden lassen'. Example: 'Sie hat sich scheiden lassen.'
It's a causative use, meaning you are having the action performed by a legal authority (the court).
Say: 'Ich lasse mich von meinem Mann scheiden.'
No, it is a neutral, factual term. However, divorce is a sensitive topic, so use it with care.
It means the couple is ending the marriage without a fight, usually agreeing on everything beforehand.
Yes, 'lassen' is used for many things you have done for you, like 'sich die Haare schneiden lassen' (to get a haircut).
The noun is '{die|f} Scheidung'.
Yes, at least one spouse must be represented by a lawyer in German family court.
Related Phrases
sich trennen
similarto separate
geschieden sein
builds onto be divorced
die Scheidung einreichen
specialized formto file for divorce
auseinandergehen
synonymto part ways
