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کم مهر

B1 adjective #8,000 most common 9 min read

کم مهر

kam mehr Top 8,000

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips کم مهر in 30 Seconds

Explanation کم مهر in your Level:

At this level, you can think of 'Kam-mehr' as simply 'not kind' or 'cold.' Imagine a person who doesn't smile or say 'hello' warmly. In Persian, we have the word 'Mehr' which means love or kindness. 'Kam' means 'little.' So 'Kam-mehr' is someone with 'little kindness.' You might use it to describe a character in a story who is a bit grumpy or a friend who doesn't play with you. It's a good word to start learning how Persian combines two simple words to make a more complex feeling. Just remember: Kam (little) + Mehr (kindness) = Kam-mehr.

For A2 learners, 'Kam-mehr' is an adjective used to describe people who are emotionally distant. You already know 'Mehraban' (kind). 'Kam-mehr' is like the opposite of 'Mehraban,' but not as strong as 'Bad' (bad). It's used when someone should be warm but isn't. For example, if you visit your cousin and they don't offer you tea or talk to you much, you might think they are 'Kam-mehr.' You will see this word often in simple stories or when people talk about their feelings. It's pronounced 'Kam-mehr' with a soft 'h.' Practice saying: 'U adam-e kam-mehri ast' (He is an unaffectionate person).

At the B1 level, you should recognize 'Kam-mehr' as a word describing a lack of emotional warmth or affection. It is a compound adjective (Kam + Mehr). In Persian culture, 'Mehr' is a very important concept—it's one of the names for the sun and also means love and kindness. Being 'Kam-mehr' is considered a negative social trait because Persian culture values being 'Garm' (warm) and welcoming. You will hear this in movies or read it in modern novels. It's often used with the preposition 'nesbat be' (toward). For example: 'Chera nesbat be man kam-mehr hasti?' (Why are you so cold toward me?). This word helps you express subtle disappointment in relationships.

At B2, you can appreciate the nuance of 'Kam-mehr' compared to 'Bi-mehr' or 'Na-mehraban.' While 'Na-mehraban' is 'unkind,' 'Kam-mehr' specifically targets the *amount* of affection being shown. It suggests a deficiency. It is often used in literary or semi-formal contexts to describe a 'cooling off' of emotions. You should be able to use it to discuss character motivations in literature or to describe complex social dynamics. The noun form 'Kam-mehri' is also important at this level, often used to describe social neglect or the emotional state of a society. For instance, 'Kam-mehri-ye jame'e' means the lack of affection/care in society.

As a C1 learner, you should understand 'Kam-mehr' within the broader context of Persian classical and modern literature. It is a 'motashabe' (similar) term to many others but carries a specific weight of 'jafa' (cruelty/neglect) by the beloved. In Sufi poetry, the 'Kam-mehri' of the divine or the master is often a test for the seeker. You should be able to use this word in analytical essays about Persian culture or when discussing deep psychological states. It's not just 'unaffectionate'; it's a failure to provide the 'Mehr' that sustains human and spiritual connections. You can also explore its use in formal rhetoric to criticize social policies that lack human compassion.

At the C2 level, 'Kam-mehr' is a tool for precision in emotional and philosophical discourse. You understand its etymological roots in the Zoroastrian concept of Mithra (Mehr), the deity of light, contracts, and friendship. To be 'Kam-mehr' is to be out of sync with the cosmic order of light and warmth. You can use it to describe the 'existential coldness' found in modern Persian literature (like the works of Sadegh Hedayat) or to critique the 'Kam-mehri' of fate ('Charkh-e kam-mehr'). Your usage should reflect an understanding of its subtle poetic resonances and its ability to convey a profound sense of emotional or spiritual deprivation without resorting to vulgarity.

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips

کم مهر in 30 Seconds

Kam-mehr means 'less affectionate' or 'cold' in Persian.
It comes from 'Kam' (little) and 'Mehr' (love/kindness).
Used to describe people who lack emotional warmth in relationships.
Common in literature, songs, and daily emotional conversations.

The Persian compound adjective کم مهر (pronounced 'kam-mehr') is a nuanced term that describes a person who lacks warmth, affection, or the expected level of kindness in their interactions. In the intricate landscape of Persian social and emotional life, the concept of Mehr (affection, love, sun) is foundational. When someone is described as Kam-mehr, it implies a deficit in this essential human quality. It is not necessarily as harsh as calling someone 'evil' or 'cruel,' but it points to a coldness or emotional distance that is deeply felt in a culture that prizes hospitality and overt warmth.

Literal Translation: The word is composed of 'Kam' (less/little) and 'Mehr' (affection/love). Thus, it literally translates to 'little-affectionate' or 'having little love.'

چرا اینقدر با من کم مهر شده‌ای؟ (Why have you become so cold/less affectionate with me?)

This term is frequently used in romantic contexts, family disputes, and classical literature. In a romantic setting, one partner might accuse the other of being Kam-mehr if they stop showing the usual signs of devotion, such as frequent calls, kind words, or physical presence. It carries a sense of disappointment and longing for the warmth that once existed. In families, a child might feel their parent is Kam-mehr if the parent is overly strict or emotionally unavailable. Unlike 'Namhraban' (unkind), which can feel like an active trait, Kam-mehr often feels like a passive absence or a fading of previous affection.

Usage in Modern Persian: While it sounds somewhat formal or poetic, it is still used in spoken Persian when one wants to express hurt feelings without being overly aggressive. It is a 'soft' criticism that nonetheless cuts deep.

دنیا جای آدم‌های کم مهر نیست. (The world is no place for people lacking in affection.)

Understanding Kam-mehr requires an understanding of the Persian value of 'Ta'arof' and emotional generosity. To be 'Kam-mehr' is to fail at the social contract of mutual emotional support. It suggests a person who is stingy with their heart. In psychological terms, it might describe an avoidant attachment style or simply a period of emotional burnout. When you use this word, you are commenting on the 'temperature' of a person's soul—suggesting they have cooled down from the expected warmth of human connection.

Synonym Comparison: Compared to 'Sard' (Cold), 'Kam-mehr' is more specifically about a lack of kindness/love rather than just a general personality trait. It implies a moral or emotional failing in a relationship.

از این همه کم مهری خسته شده‌ام. (I am tired of all this lack of affection.)

Using کم مهر effectively involves understanding its role as a descriptive adjective that often follows the verb 'to be' (budan) or modifies a noun directly. Because it carries a weight of emotional judgment, it is rarely used in purely professional or technical contexts. Instead, you will find it in the realms of personal relationships, ethics, and art. Here we explore how to integrate it into various sentence structures to express different degrees of emotional coldness.

Attributive Usage: When modifying a noun, it usually follows the Ezafe construction. For example: 'Dust-e kam-mehr' (An unaffectionate friend).

او همیشه یک دوست کم مهر بود. (He was always an unaffectionate friend.)

In the sentence above, the speaker is characterizing the person's long-term nature. It suggests a consistent lack of warmth. Contrast this with the predicative use, where the word follows the subject and a linking verb, often indicating a change in state or a specific reaction to a situation.

Predicative Usage: Example: 'Baradaram nesbat be man kam-mehr ast' (My brother is less affectionate toward me).

چرا والدین نسبت به فرزندانشان کم مهر می‌شوند؟ (Why do parents become less affectionate toward their children?)

The word is also used in the comparative and superlative forms, though 'Kam-mehr-tar' is less common than simply using 'bi-mehr-tar' or saying 'mehr-ash kam-tar shode' (his affection has become less). However, in literary contexts, you might encounter these variations to emphasize a deepening of emotional distance.

In Poetry and Song: Persian lyrics often use this word to describe the 'Saki' (cupbearer) or the beloved who ignores the lover's pleas. It creates a mood of melancholy.

ای یار کم مهر، یادی از ما نمی‌کنی؟ (O less affectionate beloved, do you not remember us?)

When constructing sentences with Kam-mehr, pay attention to the preposition 'nesbat be' (toward/regarding). This is the standard way to indicate the target of the lack of affection. 'Ali nesbat be hamsar-ash kam-mehr ast' (Ali is unaffectionate toward his wife). This structure allows for clear communication of relational dynamics.

او با لحنی کم مهر پاسخ داد. (He answered with an unaffectionate tone.)

While کم مهر might seem like a word reserved for books, it is surprisingly prevalent in daily Persian life, albeit in specific emotional contexts. You will hear it in living rooms during heart-to-heart conversations, in the lyrics of popular 'Pop-Sonati' music, and in the dialogue of Iranian cinema, which often focuses on domestic and emotional intricacies.

In Family Gatherings: If an aunt feels she hasn't been visited enough, she might jokingly or semi-seriously say, 'Cheghadr kam-mehr shodi!' (How unaffectionate you've become!). This is a common way to guilt-trip someone into visiting more often.

مادر بزرگ گفت: «بچه‌ها این روزها خیلی کم مهر شده‌اند.» (The grandmother said, 'Children these days have become very unaffectionate.')

In Iranian TV dramas (Serial-ha), characters often use this word to describe the breakdown of a marriage or the distance between a father and son. It serves as a pivotal emotional descriptor that signals a need for reconciliation. When a character is described as Kam-mehr, the audience immediately understands that this person is suffering from an internal coldness that they need to overcome.

In Classical Literature: Saadi and Hafez frequently use 'Mehr' and its opposites. You will find Kam-mehr in poems discussing the fleeting nature of worldly love or the cruelty of fate.

چرخ کم مهر است و دوران بی‌وفا. (The heavens are unaffectionate and the times are unfaithful.)

In a social context, being called Kam-mehr can be a serious blow to one's reputation. Since Iranians value 'Garm' (warm) personalities, being 'Kam-mehr' suggests you are 'Sard' (cold) and perhaps untrustworthy or selfish. It is often used in gossip to explain why a certain relationship didn't work out: 'Zan-e kheyli kam-mehri bud' (She was a very unaffectionate woman).

In Psychological Discourse: Modern Iranian psychologists might use the noun 'Kam-mehri' to describe emotional neglect in childhood, making it a term that bridges the gap between ancient poetry and modern science.

ریشه بسیاری از مشکلات در کم مهری دوران کودکی است. (The root of many problems lies in the lack of affection during childhood.)

While کم مهر is a straightforward compound, learners often stumble over its intensity and its relationship with similar-sounding words. Misusing it can lead to either an understatement of your feelings or an accidental insult that is stronger than intended. Here are the most common pitfalls to avoid.

Confusing with 'Bi-mehr': 'Kam-mehr' means 'less affectionate,' while 'Bi-mehr' means 'without affection.' Using 'Bi-mehr' is much more aggressive. If you want to gently complain to a friend, use 'Kam-mehr.' If you want to end a relationship, 'Bi-mehr' is the word.

Mistake: تو خیلی بی‌مهر هستی! (You are totally heartless!) - when you just meant they haven't called in a week.

Another mistake is confusing Mehr with Mah. While 'Mah' means moon, 'Mehr' means sun (and affection). Some learners mistakenly think Kam-mehr has something to do with the moon or moonlight. Always remember that Mehr is the warmth of the sun and the heart.

Using it for 'Unkind' Actions: If someone does something mean or rude, 'Kam-mehr' is not the right word. Use 'Ba-bad' or 'Na-mehraban.' 'Kam-mehr' is specifically about a lack of emotional warmth, not necessarily active malice.

Mistake: او با من کم مهر بود و پولم را دزدید. (He was unaffectionate and stole my money.) - In this case, 'unaffectionate' is too weak; he was a criminal!

Learners also sometimes confuse it with 'Kam-rou' (shy). While both start with 'Kam,' they describe completely different social traits. A shy person might actually be very 'Por-mehr' (full of affection) but unable to express it, whereas a 'Kam-mehr' person lacks the feeling itself.

Overusing in Formal Contexts: In a business email, saying a client is 'Kam-mehr' because they didn't reply is inappropriate. It's too personal. Use 'Bi-tavajjoh' (inattentive) or 'Dir-kard' (delayed) instead.

Correct usage: فضای خانه به دلیل کم مهری سنگین بود. (The atmosphere of the house was heavy due to the lack of affection.)

Persian has a rich vocabulary for emotional states. To truly master کم مهر, you must see how it sits alongside its synonyms and antonyms. This allows you to choose the exact 'temperature' of the emotion you wish to convey.

Synonym: نامهربان (Na-mehraban): This means 'unkind' or 'unfriendly.' It is more active than 'Kam-mehr.' While 'Kam-mehr' is a lack of warmth, 'Na-mehraban' can imply a slightly mean attitude.
Synonym: سرد (Sard): Literally 'cold.' This is the most common colloquial synonym. 'Raftar-e sard' (cold behavior) is very similar to 'Kam-mehri.'

او رفتاری سرد و کم مهر داشت. (He had a cold and unaffectionate behavior.)

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have words that describe the ideal Persian personality—full of warmth and light.

Antonym: پرمهر (Por-mehr): The direct opposite. It means 'full of affection' or 'very kind.' It is a high compliment.
Antonym: با‌محبت (Ba-mohabbat): 'With affection.' This is perhaps the most common way to describe a kind, loving person in everyday speech.

نامه‌ای پرمهر از دوستم دریافت کردم. (I received a very affectionate letter from my friend.)

There are also more formal or literary alternatives like 'Bi-atefe' (without emotion/heartless) or 'Sang-del' (stone-hearted). These are much stronger and usually reserved for villains or extreme situations. Kam-mehr remains the most useful word for that middle ground of 'disappointingly cold.'

Synonym: بی‌وفا (Bi-vafa): Meaning 'unfaithful' or 'disloyal.' This is often used alongside 'Kam-mehr' in romantic contexts because a lack of affection is seen as a form of disloyalty to the bond.

دنیا بی‌وفا و آدم‌هایش کم مهر شده‌اند. (The world has become unfaithful and its people unaffectionate.)

How Formal Is It?

Formal

"ایشان نسبت به زیردستان خود کمی کم‌مهر هستند."

Neutral

"او آدم کم‌مهری است."

Informal

"چرا اینقدر کم‌مهر شدی؟"

Child friendly

"اون خرس کوچولو کمی کم‌مهره، بغلش کن!"

Slang

"خیلی یخی! (You're so icy/cold!)"

Fun Fact

The month of 'Mehr' in the Iranian calendar (late September/early October) is named after the same root, symbolizing the balance of light and the harvest of kindness.

Pronunciation Guide

UK /kæm mehɾ/

US /kæm meɪr/

The stress is typically on the second syllable 'mehr'.

Rhymes With

سپهر (Sepehr) چهر (Chehr) دیر (Dir - slant rhyme) شیر (Shir - slant rhyme) پیر (Pir - slant rhyme) زهر (Zahr - slant rhyme) قهر (Ghar - slant rhyme) شهر (Shahr - slant rhyme)

Common Errors

Pronouncing 'Mehr' like 'Mare' (English horse). It should be more like 'Meh' + 'r'.
Dropping the 'h' entirely. It should be a slight breath.
Making the 'r' too strong like an English 'r'. It should be a single tap of the tongue.
Stressing the 'Kam' instead of the 'Mehr'.
Pronouncing 'Kam' like 'Calm'. It should be a short 'a' like 'Cam' in 'Camera'.

Difficulty Rating

Reading 3/5

Easy to recognize if you know 'Kam' and 'Mehr.'

Writing 4/5

Requires knowledge of compound word spelling and Ezafe.

Speaking 4/5

The 'h' in 'Mehr' can be tricky for English speakers.

Listening 3/5

Distinct sound, but can be confused with 'Kam-ru' if not careful.

What to Learn Next

Prerequisites

کم (Kam) مهر (Mehr) مهربان (Mehraban) سرد (Sard) دوست (Dust)

Learn Next

بی‌مهر (Bi-mehr) عاطفه (Atefe) صمیمیت (Samimiyat) بی‌وفا (Bi-vafa) جفا (Jafa)

Advanced

شفقت (Shafaghat) مودت (Mavaddat) انس و الفت (Ons o Olfat)

Grammar to Know

Compound Adjectives

کم (Little) + مهر (Affection) = کم‌مهر (Unaffectionate)

Ezafe Construction

دوستِ کم‌مهر (The unaffectionate friend)

Abstract Noun Formation

کم‌مهر + ی = کم‌مهری (Lack of affection)

Preposition 'Nesbat be'

او نسبت به من کم‌مهر است.

Adverbial Suffix '-ane'

او کم‌مهرانه برخورد کرد.

Examples by Level

او یک مرد کم مهر است.

He is an unaffectionate man.

Subject + Noun + Adjective + Verb

دوست من کم مهر نیست.

My friend is not unaffectionate.

Negative form of the verb 'to be'

سگ من کم مهر است.

My dog is not very affectionate.

Simple adjective use

چرا تو کم مهر هستی؟

Why are you unaffectionate?

Interrogative sentence

این گربه کم مهر است.

This cat is less affectionate.

Demonstrative pronoun 'In'

آنها آدم‌های کم مهری هستند.

They are unaffectionate people.

Plural subject and verb

من کم مهر نیستم.

I am not unaffectionate.

First person singular

او خیلی کم مهر است.

He is very unaffectionate.

Adverb 'kheyli' modifying the adjective

او با برادرش کم مهر بود.

He was unaffectionate with his brother.

Past tense of 'to be' (bud)

بچه‌ها نباید کم مهر باشند.

Children should not be unaffectionate.

Modal verb 'nabayad'

این همسایه کمی کم مهر است.

This neighbor is a bit unaffectionate.

Adverb 'kami' (a bit)

او همیشه کم مهر رفتار می‌کند.

He always behaves in an unaffectionate way.

Adverbial usage with 'raftar kardan'

چرا پدرت اینقدر کم مهر شده است؟

Why has your father become so unaffectionate?

Present perfect tense (shode ast)

من از آدم‌های کم مهر خوشم نمی‌آید.

I don't like unaffectionate people.

Verb 'khosh amadan' with 'az'

او قلبی کم مهر دارد.

He has an unaffectionate heart.

Noun + Ezafe + Adjective

آیا او همیشه اینقدر کم مهر بود؟

Was he always this unaffectionate?

Question in past tense

او نسبت به همسرش کم مهر شده است.

He has become less affectionate toward his wife.

Preposition 'nesbat be'

کم مهری او باعث ناراحتی من شد.

His lack of affection caused my sadness.

Noun form 'Kam-mehri' as subject

نباید با دوستان خود کم مهر باشیم.

We shouldn't be unaffectionate with our friends.

Subjunctive mood after 'nabayad'

او با لحنی کم مهر جواب داد.

He answered with an unaffectionate tone.

Adjective modifying 'lahn' (tone)

این فیلم درباره یک مادر کم مهر است.

This movie is about an unaffectionate mother.

Prepositional phrase 'darbare-ye'

من فکر می‌کنم او کمی کم مهر است.

I think he is a bit unaffectionate.

Indirect speech with 'fekr mikonam'

او به دلیل کم مهری تنها ماند.

He remained alone because of his lack of affection.

Reasoning with 'be dalil-e'

چرا دنیا اینقدر کم مهر شده است؟

Why has the world become so unaffectionate?

Rhetorical question

رفتار کم مهر او نشان‌دهنده مشکلات درونی‌اش است.

His unaffectionate behavior is indicative of his internal problems.

Compound predicate 'neshan-dahande'

او سعی می‌کرد کم مهر نباشد، اما سخت بود.

He tried not to be unaffectionate, but it was hard.

Past continuous attempt with 'sa'y kardan'

نویسنده شخصیت اصلی را فردی کم مهر توصیف می‌کند.

The author describes the main character as an unaffectionate person.

Accusative marker 'ra'

کم مهری در خانواده می‌تواند عواقب بدی داشته باشد.

Lack of affection in the family can have bad consequences.

Modal 'mitavanad' + infinitive

او با وجود عشق، گاهی کم مهر به نظر می‌رسد.

Despite love, he sometimes seems unaffectionate.

Concession with 'ba vojud-e'

جامعه نباید نسبت به فقرا کم مهر باشد.

Society should not be unaffectionate toward the poor.

Social commentary context

این شعر درباره معشوقی کم مهر و بی‌وفا است.

This poem is about an unaffectionate and unfaithful beloved.

Coordinated adjectives

او از کم مهری همکارانش شکایت داشت.

He complained about his colleagues' lack of affection/warmth.

Verb 'shekayat dashtan'

در ادبیات کلاسیک، معشوق غالباً کم مهر تصویر می‌شود تا سوز و گداز عاشق بیشتر شود.

In classical literature, the beloved is often depicted as unaffectionate to increase the lover's passion and suffering.

Passive voice 'tasvir mishavad'

انتقاد او از کم مهری حاکمان وقت، بازتاب گسترده‌ای داشت.

His criticism of the lack of affection (compassion) of the rulers of the time had a wide reflection.

Complex noun phrase as subject

او با نگاهی کم مهر و عاری از هرگونه احساس به من نگریست.

He looked at me with an unaffectionate gaze, devoid of any emotion.

Use of 'ari az' (devoid of)

فقدان صمیمیت در روابط امروز، نتیجه کم مهری مفرط است.

The lack of intimacy in today's relationships is the result of excessive lack of affection.

Abstract noun 'foghdan'

او در یادداشت‌هایش از کم مهری روزگار گلایه کرده است.

In his notes, he has complained about the unaffectionateness of the times (fate).

Present perfect 'gelaye karde ast'

این رویکرد کم مهر به مسائل انسانی، نگران‌کننده است.

This unaffectionate approach to human issues is worrying.

Adjective modifying 'ruykard' (approach)

او چنان کم مهر بود که حتی در مراسم تدفین هم گریه نکرد.

He was so unaffectionate that he didn't even cry at the funeral.

Result clause with 'chonan... ke'

کم مهری، زخمی است که بر پیکر روابط عاطفی می‌نشیند.

Lack of affection is a wound that sits on the body of emotional relationships.

Metaphorical usage

تقلیل مفاهیم اخلاقی به سودگرایی محض، جامعه را به سمتی کم مهر سوق داده است.

Reducing moral concepts to pure utilitarianism has driven society toward an unaffectionate direction.

Complex causal structure

در پس آن چهره متبسم، شخصیتی کم مهر و محاسبه‌گر نهفته بود.

Behind that smiling face lay an unaffectionate and calculating personality.

Inverted sentence structure for emphasis

او با بیانی که آمیخته به کم مهری و تحقیر بود، سخن می‌گفت.

He spoke with an expression mixed with lack of affection and contempt.

Relative clause with 'ke amikhte be'

کم مهری موروثی در این خانواده، ریشه‌های عمیق تاریخی دارد.

The hereditary lack of affection in this family has deep historical roots.

Adjective 'morousi' (hereditary)

او در نقد خود، مدرنیته را پدیده‌ای کم مهر توصیف می‌کند که پیوندهای انسانی را از هم می‌گسلد.

In his critique, he describes modernity as an unaffectionate phenomenon that tears apart human bonds.

Complex relative clause

تجلی کم مهری در آثار متأخر او، نشان از سرخوردگی عمیق وی دارد.

The manifestation of lack of affection in his later works indicates his deep frustration.

Formal noun 'tajalli' (manifestation)

او با سکوتی کم مهر، تمام پرسش‌های مرا بی‌پاسخ گذاشت.

With an unaffectionate silence, he left all my questions unanswered.

Prepositional phrase with 'ba'

واکاوی علل کم مهری در جوامع شهری، نیازمند مطالعات بین‌رشته‌ای است.

Analyzing the causes of lack of affection in urban societies requires interdisciplinary studies.

Gerund 'vakavi' (analysis)

Common Collocations

دوست کم مهر

لحن کم مهر

نگاه کم مهر

قلب کم مهر

رفتار کم مهر

پدر کم مهر

پاسخ کم مهر

دنیای کم مهر

معشوق کم مهر

آدم کم مهر

Common Phrases

کم مهری کردن

— To act without affection or to be neglectful in a relationship.

چرا به من کم مهری می‌کنی؟

از سر کم مهری

— Out of a lack of affection; doing something because one doesn't care enough.

این کار را از سر کم مهری انجام داد.

دچار کم مهری شدن

— To suffer from a lack of affection from others.

او در پیری دچار کم مهری فرزندانش شد.

کم مهری روزگار

— The unkindness or coldness of fate/the world.

او از کم مهری روزگار می‌نالید.

بوی کم مهری

— A hint or sign of lack of affection.

از حرف‌هایش بوی کم مهری می‌آمد.

نشانه‌ای از کم مهری

— A sign of being unaffectionate.

سکوت او نشانه‌ای از کم مهری بود.

به دلیل کم مهری

— Because of lack of affection.

به دلیل کم مهری، رابطه آن‌ها تمام شد.

کم مهر و سرد

— Unaffectionate and cold (often used together).

فضایی کم مهر و سرد در خانه حاکم بود.

خیلی کم مهر

— Very unaffectionate.

او خیلی کم مهر شده است.

نسبت به کسی کم مهر بودن

— To be unaffectionate toward someone.

او نسبت به من کم مهر است.

Often Confused With

کم مهر vs کم‌رو (Kam-ru)

Means shy. A shy person might be very affectionate but can't show it.

کم مهر vs بی‌مهر (Bi-mehr)

Means completely without love. Kam-mehr is just 'less' love.

کم مهر vs نامهربان (Na-mehraban)

Means unkind. Kam-mehr is specifically about lack of warmth.

Idioms & Expressions

"مهرش از دل رفتن"

— To stop loving someone; for affection to leave the heart.

مهر او از دلم رفته است.

Literary/Informal

"دل سنگ داشتن"

— To have a heart of stone; to be extremely kam-mehr.

مگر دل سنگ داری که گریه نمی‌کنی؟

Informal

"روی خوش نشان ندادن"

— Not showing a happy face; being cold/kam-mehr.

او به مهمان‌ها روی خوش نشان نداد.

Informal

"سرد برخورد کردن"

— To treat someone coldly.

چرا با او اینقدر سرد برخورد کردی؟

Neutral

"بی‌مهری دیدن"

— To experience unkindness or lack of affection from someone.

او در زندگی بی‌مهری زیادی دیده است.

Neutral

"آب پاکی روی دست کسی ریختن"

— To tell someone the cold truth, often in a kam-mehr way.

با یک کلمه آب پاکی را روی دستم ریخت.

Informal

"چشم دیدن کسی را نداشتن"

— To not be able to stand someone; extreme kam-mehri.

او چشم دیدن برادرش را ندارد.

Informal

"دم سرد داشتن"

— To have a 'cold breath'; to be discouraging or unaffectionate.

با دم سردت مرا ناامید نکن.

Literary

"مهر گیاه"

— A mythical plant that causes love (the opposite of kam-mehri).

انگار مهر گیاه خورده است.

Literary

"بی‌وفا عالم"

— The unfaithful/cold world.

امان از این بی‌وفا عالم!

Informal/Poetic

Easily Confused

کم مهر vs کم‌حرف

Both start with 'Kam'.

Kam-harf means quiet/taciturn, while Kam-mehr means unaffectionate.

او کم‌حرف است اما کم‌مهر نیست.

کم مهر vs بی‌وفا

Often used together.

Bi-vafa is about breaking a promise/loyalty; Kam-mehr is about emotional coldness.

یارِ بی‌وفا و کم‌مهر.

کم مهر vs سرد

They are synonyms.

Sard is more colloquial and general; Kam-mehr is more specific to kindness.

هوا سرد است (Weather), اما او کم‌مهر است (Person).

کم مهر vs مهر

Multiple meanings.

Mehr can mean affection, the sun, or a seal/stamp. Context is key.

مهرِ مادر (Mother's love) vs مهرِ گیاه (Love plant).

کم مهر vs بی‌عاطفه

Similar meaning.

Bi-atefe implies a total lack of human emotion; Kam-mehr is more about the absence of warmth.

یک قاتلِ بی‌عاطفه.

Sentence Patterns

[Subject] [Adjective] [Verb].

او کم‌مهر است.

[Subject] [Adverb] [Adjective] [Verb].

آنها خیلی کم‌مهر هستند.

[Subject] نسبت به [Object] کم‌مهر است.

او نسبت به من کم‌مهر است.

[Noun] + [Ezafe] + کم‌مهر

رفتارِ کم‌مهرِ او.

به دلیلِ [Noun Form]

به دلیلِ کم‌مهریِ او.

[Abstract Noun] + نشان از + [Noun] دارد

کم‌مهریِ او نشان از بی‌تفاوتی‌اش دارد.

Mixed

چرا [Subject] اینقدر کم‌مهر شده؟

چرا برادرت اینقدر کم‌مهر شده؟

Mixed

آدمِ کم‌مهر [Verb]...

آدمِ کم‌مهر تنها می‌ماند.

Word Family

Nouns

Verbs

Adjectives

How to Use It

frequency

Common in emotional/literary contexts; rare in technical contexts.

Common Mistakes

Using 'Kam-mehr' for 'Unkind' behavior. → Na-mehraban
If someone is mean to you, they are 'Na-mehraban.' If they just don't show love, they are 'Kam-mehr.'
Pronouncing it 'Kam-mer'. → Kam-mehr
Don't forget the 'h' sound. It's essential for the word 'Mehr.'
Confusing it with 'Kam-ru'. → Kam-mehr
'Kam-ru' means shy, not unaffectionate.
Forgetting the Ezafe in 'Adam-e kam-mehr'. → آدمِ کم‌مهر
Adjectives modifying nouns always need the Ezafe 'e' sound.
Using it in a business email for a late reply. → Bi-tavajjoh
'Kam-mehr' is too personal for professional settings.

Tips

Context Matters

Only use 'Kam-mehr' when there is an expectation of affection that isn't being met, like with family or close friends.

Compound Power

Remember that 'Kam' can be added to many words to mean 'less'. Practice with 'Kam-harf' (quiet) and 'Kam-ru' (shy).

The Sun Root

Remembering that 'Mehr' means sun helps you realize that 'Kam-mehr' means someone who doesn't 'shine' their warmth on you.

Song Lyrics

Listen to classical Iranian music (Sonati). You will hear 'Mehr' and 'Bi-mehri' constantly.

Soft 'H'

The 'h' in Mehr is not like the English 'h' in 'hat.' It's a soft breath from the throat.

Noun Form

The noun 'Kam-mehri' is very useful for writing about social problems or relationship issues.

Synonym Chains

Learn 'Sard', 'Kam-mehr', and 'Bi-mehr' as a scale from 'cold' to 'less affectionate' to 'without affection.'

Camera-Mirror

Use the 'Camera-Mirror' trick to remember the sounds and the meaning.

Guilt-tripping

Be aware that in Persian culture, saying 'Cheghadr kam-mehr shodi' is a common way to say 'I miss you, visit me!'

Mithra Connection

Knowing the link to the deity Mithra helps you understand why 'Mehr' is such a sacred concept in Persian.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'Kam' as 'Camera' (small focus) and 'Mehr' as 'Mirror'. A 'Kam-mehr' person has a 'small mirror'—they don't reflect much warmth back to you.

Visual Association

Imagine a sun (Mehr) that is half-covered by a dark cloud (Kam). The warmth is there, but it's very little.

Word Web

Mehr (Love) Kam (Little) Sard (Cold) Bi-vafa (Unfaithful) Na-mehraban (Unkind) Garm (Warm) Por-mehr (Affectionate) Atefe (Emotion)

Challenge

Try to describe a character from a movie you dislike using the word 'Kam-mehr' in a sentence with 'nesbat be'.

Word Origin

The word is a compound of two Middle Persian roots. 'Kam' derives from the Proto-Indo-European root *kom- (small/short), and 'Mehr' derives from the Avestan 'Mithra'.

Original meaning: Mithra was the deity of light, contracts, and friendship. Thus, 'Mehr' originally meant the binding force of a contract or the warmth of the sun.

Indo-European (Indo-Iranian branch).

Cultural Context

Calling an elder 'Kam-mehr' is very disrespectful. Use it carefully and mostly with peers or when describing third parties.

In English, we might say someone is 'distant,' 'cold,' or 'unaffectionate.' 'Kam-mehr' is slightly more poetic than 'unaffectionate.'

Used in the poetry of Hafez to describe the 'Be-vafa' (unfaithful) beloved. Commonly heard in 'Googoosh' songs about lost love. A frequent theme in the films of Asghar Farhadi regarding family distance.

Practice in Real Life

Real-World Contexts

Romantic Relationships

تو دیگر مثل قبل نیستی.
چرا اینقدر سرد شدی؟
کم‌مهری نکن.
دلم برای مهربانی‌ات تنگ شده.

Family Issues

پدرش خیلی کم‌مهر است.
بچه‌ها به محبت نیاز دارند.
کم‌مهری در خانه.
رابطه سرد خواهر و برادر.

Literature/Poetry

معشوق کم‌مهر.
جور و جفای یار.
چرخ کم‌مهر.
شکایت از بی‌وفایی.

Social Criticism

جامعه کم‌مهر.
آدم‌های بی‌تفاوت.
فقدان عاطفه در شهر.
دنیای ماشینی و کم‌مهر.

Psychology

کم‌مهری والدین.
تربیت در محیط سرد.
آسیب‌های عاطفی.
نیاز به توجه.

Conversation Starters

"آیا فکر می‌کنی مردم این روزها کم‌مهرتر شده‌اند؟"

"اگر کسی با تو کم‌مهر باشد، چه کار می‌کنی؟"

"یک شخصیت کم‌مهر در یک فیلم که می‌شناسی را توصیف کن."

"چرا بعضی از آدم‌ها ذاتا کم‌مهر هستند؟"

"تفاوت بین آدم کم‌مهر و آدم خجالتی چیست؟"

Journal Prompts

زمانی را بنویس که احساس کردی کسی نسبت به تو کم‌مهر شده است. چه حسی داشتی؟

آیا تا به حال مجبور بوده‌ای با یک رئیس یا همکار کم‌مهر کار کنی؟ چگونه مدیریت کردی؟

چگونه می‌توانیم در دنیای امروز کمتر کم‌مهر باشیم و بیشتر محبت کنیم؟

نقش 'مهر' در فرهنگ ایرانی را با فرهنگ خودت مقایسه کن.

داستانی کوتاه درباره مردی بنویس که بسیار کم‌مهر بود اما یک اتفاق او را تغییر داد.

Frequently Asked Questions

10 questions

No, it's not a swear word or a vulgarity. It's a descriptive adjective, though it does carry a negative emotional judgment. It's used to express disappointment.

It's better to use 'Sard' or 'Ghair-e-samimi' (unfriendly/not intimate) in a professional setting. 'Kam-mehr' is quite personal.

The most direct opposite is 'Por-mehr' (full of affection), but 'Mehraban' (kind) is the most common antonym.

Mostly people, but it can be used metaphorically for things like 'Charkh-e kam-mehr' (the unaffectionate heavens/fate) or 'Donyaye kam-mehr' (the cold world).

You can say 'Darad kam-mehri mikonad' (He is doing/acting unaffectionately).

Yes, they share the same root meaning 'affection/sun,' but 'Kam-mehr' is not related to the month in its usage.

It's neutral-to-formal. You'll hear it in polite conversation and read it in books, but in very casual slang, people might just say 'Yakh' (ice).

Yes, you can describe a cat or dog that doesn't like to be petted as 'Kam-mehr.'

'Na-mehraban' is 'unkind' (active), while 'Kam-mehr' is 'unaffectionate' (passive absence of warmth).

Yes, 'Faza-ye kam-mehr' means an unaffectionate or cold atmosphere.