At the A1 level, you are just starting to learn how to describe basic feelings and actions. 'Réconcilier' might seem like a long word, but you can understand it as 'to be friends again'. When children fight over a toy and then play together again, they 'se réconcilient'. At this level, you should focus on the reflexive form 'se réconcilier' in the present tense. Think of it as the opposite of 'se disputer' (to argue). You might say 'Je suis désolé' (I am sorry) to help the reconciliation. Even if the word 'réconcilier' itself is a bit advanced for A1, knowing the concept of 'making up' is very important. You will mostly hear it in stories or from teachers helping students solve a problem. Remember: 'se réconcilier' = 'to be friends again'.
At the A2 level, you can begin to use 'réconcilier' in simple sentences about your life. You might talk about your family or friends. You should learn the passé composé: 'Nous nous sommes réconciliés'. This is useful for telling stories about your weekend or a past event. You can also start using the preposition 'avec': 'Il se réconcilie avec son frère'. At this level, you understand that 'réconcilier' is more formal than 'faire la paix', but they mean the same thing. You might also see this word in simple news headlines about two famous people who are friends again. Try to use it when you describe resolving a small problem with someone you know.
At the B1 level, you are expected to handle more complex social situations. 'Réconcilier' becomes a key word for discussing relationships and emotions. You can now use it to talk about third parties: 'J'ai essayé de les réconcilier' (I tried to reconcile them). You should also understand the abstract use of the word, such as 'réconcilier le travail et la famille'. This is a common topic for B1 speaking exams (DELF B1). You can explain *why* people need to reconcile and *how* they can do it. You are also becoming aware of synonyms like 'raccommoder'. At this level, you should be comfortable using 'réconcilier' in the present, past, and future tenses, and perhaps even in the conditional to express a wish.
At the B2 level, you should use 'réconcilier' with nuance in debates and formal writing. You will encounter it in texts about sociology, politics, and philosophy. You should be able to discuss 'la réconciliation nationale' or how to 'réconcilier des points de vue opposés'. You understand the difference between 'réconcilier' and 'concilier' (the latter being more about making things compatible without a prior fight). In your essays, you can use 'réconcilier' to show that you can handle complex arguments. For example: 'Il est impératif de réconcilier les impératifs économiques et les enjeux environnementaux.' Your vocabulary is expanding to include related nouns like 'un réconciliateur' or 'irréconciliable'.
At the C1 level, you use 'réconcilier' with stylistic precision. you understand its weight in historical and diplomatic contexts. You might analyze how a writer uses the theme of reconciliation to resolve a narrative arc. You are familiar with literary uses and can use the word in the subjunctive or other advanced moods effortlessly. You can discuss the 'caractère irréconciliable' of certain ideologies. You also recognize the word in professional legal or accounting contexts (e.g., bank reconciliation). Your use of the word reflects an understanding of the subtle emotional shifts it implies—not just an end to fighting, but a restoration of a lost unity or the creation of a new, higher synthesis between opposing forces.
At the C2 level, 'réconcilier' is a tool for high-level philosophical or academic discourse. You can use it to discuss the 'réconciliation de l'homme avec sa propre finitude' or other existential themes. You are sensitive to the word's etymological roots and its resonance in theological or judicial history. You can use it to describe the most complex systemic resolutions, such as 'réconcilier les paradigmes scientifiques divergents'. Your mastery allows you to use the word ironically, metaphorically, or with extreme technicality in specialized fields. You can navigate the finest distinctions between 'réconciliation', 'médiation', 'arbitrage', and 'négociation', choosing 'réconcilier' specifically when the emotional or spiritual restoration of a bond is the focus.

réconcilier in 30 Seconds

  • A verb for restoring peace after a conflict.
  • Used reflexively (se réconcilier) to mean 'to make up'.
  • Applied to people, groups, or abstract ideas like work and life.
  • Essential for discussing relationships, politics, and personal growth.

The French verb réconcilier is a powerful and evocative term that transcends simple 'making up' after a fight. At its core, it describes the process of restoring harmony, whether between individuals, groups, or even abstract concepts that seem contradictory. In the French language, this word carries a weight of intentionality; it is not a passive occurrence but an active effort to bridge a gap that was previously defined by conflict, misunderstanding, or divergence. Understanding this word requires looking at its social, emotional, and even philosophical dimensions in French culture.

Social Context
In social settings, 'réconcilier' is used when two people who have had a 'dispute' (argument) or a 'brouille' (falling out) decide to put their differences aside. It often implies a mediator's role, though it can be direct. For example, a parent might try to réconcilier two siblings who are no longer speaking. The French value 'la paix sociale' (social peace), and thus, the act of reconciliation is seen as a sign of maturity and emotional intelligence.

Après des années de silence, Marie a enfin réussi à réconcilier son père et son frère.

Abstract Use
Beyond people, 'réconcilier' is frequently used to discuss the balance between competing interests. A very common modern struggle is how to 'réconcilier la vie professionnelle et la vie privée' (reconcile professional life and private life). Here, the word means to make two demanding aspects of life compatible so they can coexist without one destroying the other. It is also used in economics to 'réconcilier la croissance et l'écologie' (reconcile growth and ecology).

Ils se sont réconciliés juste avant le début de la cérémonie.

Historical and Political Nuance
In the context of French history, 'réconciliation' is a heavy word. It refers to the efforts made after periods of national trauma, such as the French Revolution or World War II, to bring the nation back together. When a politician speaks of 'réconcilier les Français', they are acknowledging deep divisions in society (often along class, political, or geographic lines) and proposing a path toward unity.

Le nouveau président a promis de réconcilier les deux camps opposés du pays.

Il est parfois difficile de réconcilier ses ambitions personnelles avec ses valeurs morales.

La musique a le pouvoir de réconcilier des peuples que tout oppose.

In summary, 'réconcilier' is a versatile verb that spans from the intimacy of a couple's bedroom to the grand stage of international diplomacy. It suggests that while conflict is natural, the restoration of balance and friendship is a necessary and noble pursuit. Whether you are talking about friends who stopped speaking or a scientist trying to make two theories work together, 'réconcilier' is the bridge that connects the broken parts.

Using réconcilier correctly depends on whether you are acting as a mediator, describing a mutual process, or dealing with abstract ideas. It follows the standard conjugation of first-group (-er) verbs, making it relatively straightforward for learners, but the syntax surrounding it requires attention to prepositions and pronouns.

The Transitive Use (A réconcilie B avec C)
This is when a third party brings two others together. The structure is 'réconcilier [quelqu'un] avec [quelqu'un d'autre]'. It is used when someone acts as a peacemaker. For example, 'Le médiateur a réconcilié les deux voisins' (The mediator reconciled the two neighbors).

Elle a tenté de réconcilier son amie avec son ex-petit ami, mais en vain.

The Reflexive Use (Se réconcilier)
This is the most common way to say 'to make up'. If two people are involved, you say 'Ils se sont réconciliés'. If you are making up with someone, you say 'Je me suis réconcilié avec lui'. Note that in compound tenses (like passé composé), the past participle agrees with the subject if it's reflexive: 'Elles se sont réconciliées'.

Après une grosse dispute, nous nous sommes enfin réconciliés hier soir.

Reconciling Ideas (Conceptual Use)
In more formal or academic French, you 'réconcilier' concepts. This is common in debates about ethics, science, or politics. 'Réconcilier la liberté et la sécurité' (Reconciling freedom and security). Here, it means to find a middle ground or a way for both to exist simultaneously.

Le philosophe cherche à réconcilier la foi et la raison.

Il est difficile de réconcilier ces deux témoignages contradictoires.

Le comptable doit réconcilier le relevé bancaire avec les factures.

In everyday speech, you'll often hear it in the imperative: 'Réconciliez-vous !' (Make up!), or in the conditional to express a wish: 'J'aimerais me réconcilier avec elle' (I would like to reconcile with her). The verb is versatile and can be used in almost any tense, from the simple present to the complex subjunctive, depending on the emotional nuance you want to convey.

You will encounter réconcilier in a variety of settings, from the most intimate conversations to the highest levels of political discourse. It is a word that appears frequently in French media, literature, and daily life because it touches on the fundamental human need for resolution.

In French Cinema and Literature
French dramas often revolve around family conflicts. You will hear characters say, 'Il est temps de nous réconcilier' (It's time for us to reconcile). It is a pivotal moment in many plots where long-standing grudges are finally addressed. In classic literature, reconciliation is a major theme, often portrayed as a moment of profound emotional release or tragic realization.

Dans ce film, les deux frères se réconcilient sur le lit de mort de leur mère.

In News and Politics
Turn on any French news channel like BFMTV or France 24, and you'll hear 'réconcilier' in the context of society. Politicians often talk about 'réconcilier les Français avec la politique' (reconciling the French people with politics), referring to the growing distrust in the government. You also hear it in international news regarding peace treaties or diplomatic efforts between nations.

Le ministre essaie de réconcilier les syndicats et le patronat.

In Workplace and Professional Life
In a professional setting, 'réconcilier' is used for conflict management. Human Resources (RH) might intervene to 'réconcilier deux collaborateurs'. It's also used in project management when trying to 'réconcilier les contraintes techniques et les demandes du client' (reconcile technical constraints and client demands).

Nous devons réconcilier le budget avec nos objectifs ambitieux.

Est-ce possible de réconcilier tradition et modernité dans cette ville ?

Elle s'est réconciliée avec l'idée d'échouer parfois.

Finally, you will hear this word in podcasts about psychology or self-help. Experts talk about 'se réconcilier avec soi-même' (reconciling with oneself) or 'se réconcilier avec son passé' (making peace with one's past). It's a fundamental part of the vocabulary for anyone interested in personal growth and emotional well-being in a French-speaking context.

While réconcilier seems straightforward, English speakers often trip up on its specific usage compared to English 'reconcile', or they confuse it with similar-sounding French verbs. Avoiding these pitfalls will make your French sound much more natural and precise.

Mistake 1: Forgetting the Reflexive Form
In English, we can say 'They reconciled.' In French, you cannot simply say 'Ils ont réconcilié.' This sounds like they reconciled *something else* but didn't finish the sentence. You must use the reflexive form: 'Ils se sont réconciliés'. Without the 'se', the verb is incomplete.

Faux: Ils ont réconcilié après la dispute.
Vrai: Ils se sont réconciliés après la dispute.

Mistake 2: Confusing 'Réconcilier' with 'Concilier'
This is a subtle but frequent error. 'Concilier' is generally used for making things compatible (like a schedule or two duties), whereas 'réconcilier' implies a restoration of a broken bond. If you say you want to 'réconcilier' your work and life, it sounds like they had a huge fight. Use 'concilier' for harmony and 'réconcilier' for healing a rift.

Je dois concilier mes études et mon job. (Correct for balance)
Je veux me réconcilier avec mon frère. (Correct for relationships)

Mistake 3: Misusing the Preposition 'Avec'
Sometimes learners try to use 'à' instead of 'avec'. In French, you reconcile *with* someone: 'avec quelqu'un'. Also, ensure that if you are reconciling two things, you use 'réconcilier A et B' or 'réconcilier A avec B'.

Faux: Il s'est réconcilié à son passé.
Vrai: Il s'est réconcilié avec son passé.

Mistake 4: Using it for 'Reconnecting'
If you just haven't seen someone in a long time but there was no fight, don't use 'réconcilier'. Use 'reprendre contact' or 'se retrouver'. Using 'réconcilier' implies there was something wrong that needed fixing.

Nous nous sommes retrouvés après dix ans. (We met again - neutral)
Nous nous sommes réconciliés après dix ans. (We ended a 10-year feud)

By being mindful of these distinctions—especially the reflexive 'se' and the difference between 'concilier' and 'réconcilier'—you will avoid the most common errors made by intermediate learners and speak with the precision of a native.

French is a language rich in nuance, especially when it comes to social interactions and conflict resolution. While réconcilier is the most direct term for 'to reconcile', several other verbs can be used depending on the intensity, the context, or the level of formality you wish to convey.

1. Raccommoder (Informal/Domestic)
Literally meaning 'to mend' (like clothing), 'se raccommoder' is a charming, slightly old-fashioned or informal way to say 'to make up'. It's often used for small spats between friends or lovers. It suggests a 'patching up' of the relationship.

Les deux amoureux se sont vite raccommodés après leur petite scène.

2. Rabibocher (Slang/Very Informal)
This is a very colorful, colloquial term. If you say 'ils se sont rabibochés', you are implying that they made up, but perhaps in a messy or slightly humorous way. It's common in casual conversation but should be avoided in formal writing.

Tu savais ? Julie et Marc se sont rabibochés hier soir !

3. Apaiser (To Soothe/Calm)
While not a direct synonym for reconciliation, 'apaiser' is often the first step. It means to calm down a situation or someone's anger. 'Apaiser les tensions' is a common phrase in politics and diplomacy.

Le discours du maire a servi à apaiser les esprits après la manifestation.

4. Harmoniser (To Harmonize)
Used mostly for abstract things or aesthetics. You 'harmonise' colors, sounds, or laws. It is a synonym for 'réconcilier' when you are talking about making different elements work together beautifully without necessarily having a prior conflict.

L'architecte a su harmoniser le style moderne et le style ancien.

5. Faire la paix (To Make Peace)
This is the simplest and most common phrase. It is used in all contexts, from children on a playground to nations at war. 'On fait la paix ?' is the classic way to ask someone to end a fight.

Allez, les enfants, faites la paix et jouez ensemble.

Choosing the right word depends on how formal you want to be. Use 'réconcilier' for a standard, clear expression, 'raccommoder' for a touch of warmth, 'rabibocher' for a laugh with friends, and 'harmoniser' for design or abstract concepts. Each word adds a different 'couleur' to your French.

How Formal Is It?

Fun Fact

The root 'conciliare' comes from 'concilium' (council), implying that reconciliation originally meant bringing someone back into the social or political group.

Pronunciation Guide

UK /ʁe.kɔ̃.si.lje/
US /re.kɔ̃.si.lje/
The stress falls on the final syllable 'lier'.
Rhymes With
oublier conseiller travailler habiller étudier remercier supplier publier
Common Errors
  • Pronouncing the final 'r' (it is silent in -er verbs).
  • Making the 'on' sound like 'on' in 'on' (English) instead of a nasal vowel.
  • Confusing the 'é' with 'e' (mute e).

Difficulty Rating

Reading 3/5

Easy to recognize because of the English cognate 'reconcile'.

Writing 4/5

Requires knowledge of reflexive pronouns and agreement in compound tenses.

Speaking 3/5

The pronunciation is standard, but remembering to use 'se' is key.

Listening 3/5

Commonly used in news and films, usually clear.

What to Learn Next

Prerequisites

dispute ami pardon paix avec

Learn Next

médiation compromis entente concession harmonie

Advanced

antinomie dialectique consensus litige contentieux

Grammar to Know

Reflexive Verbs in Passé Composé

Nous nous sommes réconciliés (agreement with 'nous').

Transitive vs Intransitive

Il réconcilie ses amis (transitive) vs Ils se réconcilient (reflexive).

Preposition 'avec' after reflexive

Je me réconcilie avec toi.

Agreement of past participle

Elle s'est réconciliée (feminine agreement).

Infinitive after 'réussir à'

J'ai réussi à me réconcilier.

Examples by Level

1

Ils se réconcilient après le jeu.

They make up after the game.

Present tense, reflexive.

2

Tu veux te réconcilier avec moi ?

Do you want to make up with me?

Question with reflexive infinitive.

3

Maman veut nous réconcilier.

Mom wants to reconcile us.

Transitive use with infinitive.

4

Nous sommes amis, nous nous réconcilions.

We are friends, we are making up.

First person plural reflexive.

5

Il est gentil, il se réconcilie vite.

He is kind, he makes up quickly.

Reflexive verb with adverb.

6

On se réconcilie ?

Shall we make up?

Informal 'on' usage.

7

Ils ne veulent pas se réconcilier.

They don't want to make up.

Negative reflexive.

8

C'est bien de se réconcilier.

It's good to make up.

Impersonal 'c'est' + infinitive.

1

Hier, nous nous sommes réconciliés.

Yesterday, we made up.

Passé composé, reflexive agreement.

2

Elle s'est réconciliée avec sa sœur.

She made up with her sister.

Agreement with feminine subject.

3

Le professeur a réconcilié les deux élèves.

The teacher reconciled the two students.

Transitive use in past tense.

4

Ils vont se réconcilier bientôt, j'espère.

They are going to make up soon, I hope.

Futur proche.

5

On peut se réconcilier sans crier.

We can make up without shouting.

Modal verb 'pouvoir' + infinitive.

6

Il a écrit une lettre pour se réconcilier.

He wrote a letter to make up.

Preposition 'pour' + infinitive.

7

Pourquoi ne te réconcilies-tu pas avec lui ?

Why don't you make up with him?

Inversion in a question.

8

Ma grand-mère a réconcilié toute la famille.

My grandmother reconciled the whole family.

Transitive use with a collective noun.

1

Il est difficile de réconcilier le travail et la vie privée.

It is difficult to reconcile work and private life.

Abstract transitive use.

2

Si tu t'excuses, elle se réconciliera avec toi.

If you apologize, she will reconcile with you.

Conditional 'if' clause with future tense.

3

Le médiateur aide les voisins à se réconcilier.

The mediator helps the neighbors to make up.

Verb 'aider' + 'à' + infinitive.

4

Nous devrions nous réconcilier avant les vacances.

We should make up before the holidays.

Conditional mood for suggestion.

5

Elle a enfin réussi à se réconcilier avec son passé.

She finally managed to make peace with her past.

Figurative use.

6

Ce film raconte comment deux ennemis se réconcilient.

This movie tells how two enemies reconcile.

Relative clause with 'comment'.

7

Je ne pense pas qu'ils se réconcilient facilement.

I don't think they will reconcile easily.

Subjunctive mood after 'ne pas penser que'.

8

Le but de cette réunion est de réconcilier les deux équipes.

The goal of this meeting is to reconcile the two teams.

Noun phrase + 'de' + infinitive.

1

Le gouvernement tente de réconcilier la croissance et l'écologie.

The government is trying to reconcile growth and ecology.

Formal political context.

2

Comment réconcilier ces deux théories contradictoires ?

How to reconcile these two contradictory theories?

Interrogative infinitive.

3

Il s'est réconcilié avec l'idée de déménager à l'étranger.

He has come to terms with the idea of moving abroad.

Reflexive use with an abstract idea.

4

La musique a le don de réconcilier les cultures.

Music has the gift of reconciling cultures.

Metaphorical use.

5

Après leur divorce, ils ont mis du temps à se réconcilier.

After their divorce, they took time to reconcile.

Time expression 'mettre du temps à'.

6

Bien qu'ils soient fâchés, ils pourraient se réconcilier.

Although they are angry, they could reconcile.

Conjunction 'bien que' + subjunctive.

7

Cette réforme vise à réconcilier les citoyens avec la police.

This reform aims to reconcile citizens with the police.

Verb 'viser à' + infinitive.

8

Elle cherche un moyen de réconcilier ses ambitions et ses valeurs.

She is looking for a way to reconcile her ambitions and her values.

Abstract pairing of nouns.

1

Le traité a pour objectif de réconcilier durablement les deux nations.

The treaty aims to permanently reconcile the two nations.

High-level formal register.

2

L'auteur parvient à réconcilier le tragique et le comique dans son œuvre.

The author manages to reconcile the tragic and the comic in his work.

Literary analysis context.

3

Il est impératif que nous nous réconciliions avec notre environnement.

It is imperative that we reconcile with our environment.

Subjunctive mood after 'il est impératif que'.

4

Sa philosophie tente de réconcilier l'immanence et la transcendance.

His philosophy attempts to reconcile immanence and transcendence.

Philosophical terminology.

5

Ils sont restés irréconciliables malgré les efforts du médiateur.

They remained irreconcilable despite the mediator's efforts.

Use of the adjective 'irréconciliable'.

6

La réconciliation des comptes bancaires est une tâche fastidieuse.

Reconciling bank accounts is a tedious task.

Technical accounting usage.

7

Elle s'est finalement réconciliée avec sa propre image.

She finally reconciled with her own image.

Psychological nuance.

8

Peut-on réconcilier la justice sociale et le libéralisme économique ?

Can social justice and economic liberalism be reconciled?

Political/Economic debate.

1

L'ontologie hégélienne cherche à réconcilier le sujet et l'objet.

Hegelian ontology seeks to reconcile subject and object.

Academic philosophy.

2

Cette œuvre magistrale réconcilie les paradoxes de l'âme humaine.

This masterful work reconciles the paradoxes of the human soul.

Elevated literary register.

3

Il s'agit de réconcilier l'universalité des droits et la pluralité des cultures.

It is about reconciling the universality of rights and the plurality of cultures.

Legal and ethical discourse.

4

La tragédie grecque ne permet souvent aucune réconciliation finale.

Greek tragedy often allows for no final reconciliation.

Thematic literary analysis.

5

Le pardon est le seul chemin pour réconcilier l'histoire et la mémoire.

Forgiveness is the only way to reconcile history and memory.

Existential/Historical reflection.

6

Comment réconcilier l'exigence de vérité avec la nécessité du secret d'État ?

How to reconcile the demand for truth with the necessity of state secrecy?

Political ethics.

7

Sa poésie réconcilie le silence des mots et le tumulte des sens.

His poetry reconciles the silence of words and the tumult of the senses.

Poetic/Metaphorical register.

8

L'architecture du bâtiment réconcilie l'espace urbain et la nature sauvage.

The building's architecture reconciles urban space and wild nature.

Aesthetic/Architectural context.

Synonyms

raccommoder rabibocher accorder concilier harmoniser pacifier réunir apaiser

Antonyms

diviser brouiller opposer séparer

Common Collocations

se réconcilier avec son passé
réconcilier deux points de vue
tenter de se réconcilier
réconcilier travail et famille
réconciliation nationale
se réconcilier sur l'oreiller
réconcilier les comptes
irréconciliable
processus de réconciliation
se réconcilier avec soi-même

Common Phrases

Faire la paix

— To make peace. The most common alternative in daily life.

Allez, faites la paix !

Enterrer la hache de guerre

— To bury the hatchet. To end a long-standing conflict.

Ils ont enfin enterré la hache de guerre.

Reprendre contact

— To get back in touch. Often the first step toward reconciliation.

J'ai décidé de reprendre contact avec lui.

Passer l'éponge

— To wipe the slate clean. To forgive and forget.

Passons l'éponge sur cette histoire.

Se remettre ensemble

— To get back together (romantically).

Ils se sont remis ensemble après leur rupture.

Trouver un terrain d'entente

— To find common ground.

Nous avons enfin trouvé un terrain d'entente.

Mettre les choses à plat

— To clear the air / to discuss everything openly.

Il faut mettre les choses à plat pour se réconcilier.

Tourner la page

— To turn the page. To move on from a conflict.

Il est temps de tourner la page et de se réconcilier.

Faire le premier pas

— To take the first step toward reconciliation.

C'est lui qui a fait le premier pas.

Se serrer la main

— To shake hands. A physical sign of reconciliation.

Ils se sont serré la main à la fin du match.

Often Confused With

réconcilier vs concilier

Use 'concilier' for making things like schedules or duties compatible. Use 'réconcilier' when there was a conflict or rift.

réconcilier vs reconnecter

Use 'reconnecter' for technology (Wi-Fi). Use 'reprendre contact' or 'se réconcilier' for people.

réconcilier vs rejoindre

Means 'to join' or 'to meet up'. It doesn't imply fixing a relationship.

Idioms & Expressions

"Enterrer la hache de guerre"

— To stop fighting and make peace. Comes from indigenous American traditions but is common in French.

Après dix ans de silence, les deux frères ont enterré la hache de guerre.

neutral
"Se réconcilier sur l'oreiller"

— To resolve a romantic argument by having sex.

Beaucoup de couples préfèrent se réconcilier sur l'oreiller.

informal
"Passer l'éponge"

— To forget past grievances as if wiping them off a chalkboard.

Je suis prêt à passer l'éponge si tu t'excuses.

neutral
"Fumer le calumet de la paix"

— To smoke the peace pipe. To formally end a conflict.

Les deux chefs d'entreprise ont fini par fumer le calumet de la paix.

neutral
"Se rabibocher"

— To patch things up (often used for couples).

Ils se disputent tous les jours mais finissent par se rabibocher.

informal
"Remettre les compteurs à zéro"

— To reset the counters. To start fresh without holding old grudges.

Réconcilions-nous et remettons les compteurs à zéro.

neutral
"Laver son linge sale en famille"

— To wash one's dirty laundry in private. Reconciling within the family without involving outsiders.

Ils ont préféré se réconcilier discrètement, car on lave son linge sale en famille.

proverbial
"Changer son fusil d'épaule"

— To change one's shoulder rifle. To change one's mind or attitude to allow for reconciliation.

Il a changé son fusil d'épaule et a accepté de se réconcilier.

idiomatic
"Ménager la chèvre et le chou"

— To spare the goat and the cabbage. To try and please both sides to achieve reconciliation.

Le médiateur essaie de ménager la chèvre et le chou.

idiomatic
"Faire amende honorable"

— To make a public apology to facilitate reconciliation.

Il a fait amende honorable devant tout le monde.

formal

Easily Confused

réconcilier vs considérer

Sounds slightly similar in rhythm.

'Considérer' means to consider or look at. 'Réconcilier' is about fixing a bond.

Je considère ton offre. / Je me réconcilie avec toi.

réconcilier vs reconnaître

Starts with 're-'.

'Reconnaître' means to recognize or admit. 'Réconcilier' is to restore harmony.

Je reconnais mon erreur. / Cela nous a aidés à nous réconcilier.

réconcilier vs réconforter

Both start with 'récon-'.

'Réconforter' means to comfort someone. 'Réconcilier' is to end a fight.

Je le réconforte car il est triste. / Je me réconcilie avec lui après la dispute.

réconcilier vs réclamer

Similar prefix.

'Réclamer' means to demand or claim. 'Réconcilier' is a peaceful act.

Il réclame justice. / Le juge a réconcilié les parties.

réconcilier vs recommencer

Both mean 'again' (re-).

'Recommencer' means to start over. 'Réconcilier' is to restore a specific state of peace.

On recommence le jeu. / On se réconcilie après le jeu.

Sentence Patterns

A2

Sujet + se + être + réconcilié.

Nous nous sommes réconciliés.

B1

Sujet + vouloir + se réconcilier + avec + Nom.

Je veux me réconcilier avec mon père.

B1

Sujet + réconcilier + Nom1 + et + Nom2.

Elle réconcilie Pierre et Marie.

B2

Il est [adjectif] de réconcilier [Nom] et [Nom].

Il est difficile de réconcilier liberté et sécurité.

B2

Sujet + avoir + réussi + à + se réconcilier.

Ils ont réussi à se réconcilier.

C1

La réconciliation de [Nom] avec [Nom] est [adjectif].

La réconciliation de l'homme avec la nature est urgente.

C1

Bien que + Sujet + Subjonctif, Sujet + se réconcilier.

Bien qu'ils soient têtus, ils se réconcilieront.

C2

C'est par la [Nom] que l'on parvient à réconcilier [Concepts].

C'est par la dialectique que l'on parvient à réconcilier les contraires.

Word Family

Nouns

la réconciliation The act of reconciling.
le réconciliateur A person who reconciles others (male).
la réconciliatrice A person who reconciles others (female).

Verbs

se réconcilier To make up / reconcile with someone.
concilier To make compatible.

Adjectives

réconciliable Able to be reconciled.
irréconciliable Impossible to reconcile.

Related

la paix
le pardon
la médiation
l'accord
l'amitié

How to Use It

frequency

High in both spoken and written French.

Common Mistakes
  • Ils ont réconcilié. Ils se sont réconciliés.

    Without 'se', the verb is incomplete; it needs an object. To say 'they made up', you must use the reflexive form.

  • Je veux réconcilier à mon ami. Je veux me réconcilier avec mon ami.

    The preposition must be 'avec', not 'à', and the verb must be reflexive if you are the one making up.

  • Nous nous sommes réconcilié. Nous nous sommes réconciliés.

    The past participle must agree with the plural subject 'nous'.

  • J'ai réconcilié mon emploi du temps. J'ai concilié mon emploi du temps.

    Use 'concilier' for managing schedules or tasks. Use 'réconcilier' for people or conflicting ideas.

  • On s'est réconcilié après 5 minutes. On s'est réconciliés après 5 minutes.

    Even with 'on' (meaning 'we'), the agreement is usually plural in modern usage, though 'réconcilié' is sometimes accepted.

Tips

Reflexive Agreement

Remember that in 'Elles se sont réconciliées', you need an 'e' and an 's' because 'se' refers to 'elles'. This is a common point of error for students.

The Power of 'Irréconciliable'

Learn 'irréconciliable'. It's a great high-level word to describe two things that simply cannot work together, like 'des positions irréconciliables'.

The First Step

If you want to suggest making up, say 'Et si on se réconciliait ?' (What if we made up?). It's a polite and natural way to start the process.

Mediation in France

France has a formal role called 'Le Défenseur des droits' who helps réconcilier citizens with the state. This shows how important the concept is in French law.

Abstract Pairs

When writing, use 'réconcilier' to link two abstract nouns like 'tradition' and 'modernité'. It makes your writing sound sophisticated.

The 'Re-' Rule

Just like 'redo', 'rewrite', and 'return', 'réconcilier' starts with 're-', meaning the peace is happening *again*.

Body Language

In France, a reconciliation is often sealed with 'la bise' (the cheek kiss) or a firm handshake, depending on the relationship.

Nasal Vowel Check

The 'on' in réconcilier is the same sound as in 'bon' or 'maison'. Practice it to distinguish it from 'an' (as in 'maman').

Silent R

Never pronounce the final 'r'. If you do, it sounds like the noun 'réconcilier' (which doesn't exist) instead of the verb.

Enterrer la hache

Using the idiom 'enterrer la hache de guerre' shows a very high level of French and will impress native speakers.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 're-' (again) + 'conciliate' (to soothe). You are making things 'concise' and 'calm' AGAIN.

Visual Association

Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a broken bridge, and 'réconcilier' is the act of building the bridge back together.

Word Web

Paix Pardon Médiation Ami Accord Frère Dispute Amour

Challenge

Try to use 'réconcilier' in a sentence about a historical event, a personal friendship, and a work-life balance issue.

Word Origin

From the Latin 'reconciliare', which combines 're-' (again) and 'conciliare' (to bring together, to unite). It has been used in French since the 12th century.

Original meaning: To bring back together into a council or assembly.

Romance (Latin-based).

Cultural Context

Be careful when using it in political contexts; it can sometimes sound like a 'cliché' used by politicians to avoid addressing real structural issues.

In English, 'reconcile' is often used in business (accounting). In French, while used in business, its primary resonance is deeply emotional and social.

The 'Commission de vérité et de réconciliation' (Truth and Reconciliation Commission) in South Africa is a famous global reference known in France. The film 'Rois et Reine' by Arnaud Desplechin explores complex family reconciliations. Victor Hugo's 'Les Misérables' features themes of reconciliation between the law and mercy.

Practice in Real Life

Real-World Contexts

Family conflict

  • se réconcilier avec ses parents
  • réconcilier les frères
  • un repas de réconciliation
  • pardonner et se réconcilier

Romantic relationships

  • se réconcilier après une rupture
  • une scène de réconciliation
  • se rabibocher
  • faire le premier pas

Business/Finance

  • réconcilier les comptes
  • réconcilier les chiffres
  • réconciliation bancaire
  • réconcilier le budget

Politics

  • réconciliation nationale
  • réconcilier les citoyens
  • un pacte de réconciliation
  • réconcilier les partis

Personal growth

  • se réconcilier avec soi-même
  • se réconcilier avec son corps
  • se réconcilier avec son passé
  • trouver la paix intérieure

Conversation Starters

"Est-il facile pour toi de te réconcilier après une dispute ?"

"Penses-tu qu'il est possible de réconcilier écologie et économie ?"

"As-tu déjà dû réconcilier deux amis qui ne se parlaient plus ?"

"Comment peut-on se réconcilier avec son passé ?"

"Est-ce que 'se réconcilier sur l'oreiller' est une bonne solution selon toi ?"

Journal Prompts

Décris un moment où tu as dû te réconcilier avec quelqu'un d'important pour toi.

Réflexion : Comment réconcilier tes ambitions personnelles et ton bonheur quotidien ?

Imagine un dialogue entre deux ennemis historiques qui décident de se réconcilier.

Quelles sont les étapes nécessaires pour une véritable réconciliation nationale ?

Écris sur l'importance de se réconcilier avec ses erreurs passées.

Frequently Asked Questions

10 questions

No. Use 'se réconcilier' if the people are making up with each other. Use 'réconcilier' (without 'se') if a third person is bringing two people together, or if you are making two ideas compatible.

'Faire la paix' is more common in casual, everyday speech (like children playing). 'Réconcilier' is slightly more formal and is the standard word used in literature, news, and adult conversations.

Yes, 'réconcilier des comptes' is the standard term in accounting for ensuring two sets of records match. It's the equivalent of 'to reconcile' in English finance.

Yes, it's used to describe whether a situation or relationship can be fixed. Its opposite, 'irréconciliable', is even more common, especially when describing 'différences irréconciliables' in a divorce.

You say 'se réconcilier avec soi-même'. It is a common expression in psychology and self-help contexts.

Yes, it is a regular -er verb (first group). It follows the same pattern as 'parler' or 'aimer'.

Only in the sense of balancing two competing interests (like work and life). For physical balance, use 'équilibrer'.

Usually 'avec' (with). Example: 'se réconcilier avec quelqu'un'. If you are reconciling two things, you use 'et': 'réconcilier A et B'.

No, it's not offensive, but it's very informal. Don't use it in a business meeting or a formal essay, but it's fine with close friends.

It sounds like 'ee-ay'. The 'r' is completely silent. It rhymes with 'café' or 'manger'.

Test Yourself 180 questions

writing

Write a sentence using 'se réconcilier' in the passé composé.

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writing

Translate: 'I want to reconcile with my past.'

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writing

How would you suggest making up to a friend?

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writing

Use 'réconcilier' to talk about work and family.

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writing

Write a formal sentence about national reconciliation.

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writing

Explain 'irréconciliable' in your own words (in French).

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writing

Translate: 'The teacher reconciled the two students.'

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writing

Write a sentence with the idiom 'enterrer la hache de guerre'.

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writing

Translate: 'Can we reconcile these two points of view?'

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writing

Use 'se réconcilier' in the conditional mood.

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writing

Translate: 'They are going to reconcile soon.'

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writing

Write a sentence about reconciling bank accounts.

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writing

Translate: 'It's time to turn the page and reconcile.'

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writing

Use 'se réconcilier' in the negative present tense.

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writing

Translate: 'A mediator helps to reconcile people.'

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writing

Write a sentence with 'réconciliatrice'.

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writing

Translate: 'They made up in the park.'

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writing

Use 'réconcilier' in a question with 'pourquoi'.

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writing

Translate: 'She reconciled her ambitions with her values.'

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writing

Write a short story (3 sentences) about two friends reconciling.

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speaking

Pronounce: 'réconcilier'

Read this aloud:

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Say: 'We made up.'

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speaking

Say: 'Let's make up.'

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speaking

Pronounce: 'réconciliation'

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speaking

Say: 'I want to reconcile with him.'

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speaking

Say: 'They are irreconcilable.'

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speaking

Say: 'Make up!' (to two children)

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speaking

Say: 'I reconciled my accounts.'

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speaking

Say: 'It's a sign of reconciliation.'

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Say: 'We should bury the hatchet.'

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Pronounce: 'irréconciliable'

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speaking

Say: 'She finally made peace with herself.'

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Say: 'Why don't you make up?'

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Say: 'A dinner for reconciliation.'

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Say: 'They patched things up.' (informal)

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Say: 'I hope they reconcile.'

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Say: 'He is the peacemaker.'

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Say: 'We need to clear the air.'

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speaking

Say: 'It's hard to reconcile these facts.'

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speaking

Say: 'Let's shake hands.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Il s'est réconcilié avec son frère.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'La réconciliation est nécessaire.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Ils se sont enfin rabibochés.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Peut-on réconcilier ces deux idées ?'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Je veux me réconcilier avec moi-même.'

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listening

Listen for the missing word: 'Nous nous sommes _____ hier.'

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listening

Listen for the missing word: 'Un acte de _____.'

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listening

Listen and translate: 'Faisons la paix.'

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listening

Listen and translate: 'Ils sont irréconciliables.'

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listening

Listen and write the reflexive pronoun: 'Ils ___ sont réconciliés.'

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listening

Listen: 'Réconcilier' or 'Concilier'?

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listening

Listen and write: 'C'est un long processus.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Réconciliez-vous !'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Il a fait amende honorable.'

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listening

Listen and write: 'Enterrer la hache de guerre.'

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/ 180 correct

Perfect score!

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