دل شکستن
Del shekastan
To break a heart
Phrase in 30 Seconds
A powerful Persian idiom used to describe causing deep emotional hurt or disappointment to someone you care about.
- Means: To deeply hurt someone's feelings or cause them great sadness.
- Used in: Romantic breakups, family arguments, or letting a close friend down.
- Don't confuse: With physical injury; it is strictly for emotional pain and soul-deep hurt.
Explanation at your level:
Meaning
To cause deep emotional pain or sadness to someone, usually a loved one.
Cultural Background
Breaking a heart is often linked to the concept of 'Aah' (a sigh of the oppressed). It is believed that if you break someone's heart, their 'Aah' will bring you bad luck or divine justice. In Sufi poetry, the 'broken heart' is actually a positive state for the mystic, as it is only through breaking the ego (the heart) that one can truly find God. Iranian 'Sad Songs' (Ahang-e Ghamgin) are a massive industry. 90% of these songs revolve around the theme of 'Del shekastan' and 'Bi-vafayi' (unfaithfulness). Iranians use 'del shekastan' to politely pressure someone. If you don't eat more food, the host might say you are breaking their heart.
Use with 'ra'
Always remember the object marker 'ra' when you are the subject breaking someone's heart.
Not for objects
Never use 'del shekastan' for a broken phone or glass. Use just 'shekastan'.
Meaning
To cause deep emotional pain or sadness to someone, usually a loved one.
Use with 'ra'
Always remember the object marker 'ra' when you are the subject breaking someone's heart.
Not for objects
Never use 'del shekastan' for a broken phone or glass. Use just 'shekastan'.
The 'Ta'arof' trick
Use it playfully when a friend refuses a second helping of food to sound more like a native speaker.
Moral weight
Understand that in Iran, this phrase is often used to guilt-trip someone into doing the right thing.
Test Yourself
Fill in the blank with the correct form of 'del' and 'shekastan'.
تو با دروغهایت ______ من را ______.
The sentence needs 'del' (heart) and the 2nd person singular past tense 'shekasti'.
Which sentence is the most natural way to say 'My heart broke'?
کدام جمله درست است؟
In Persian, we use the intransitive 'shekast' to describe our own heart breaking.
Match the phrase to the situation.
اگر کسی به شما خیانت کند، چه میگویید؟
'Delam ra shekasti' is used for betrayal. 'Delam khonak shod' means 'I feel vindicated/happy about someone's misfortune'.
Complete the dialogue.
مادر: چرا با برادرت دعوا کردی؟ پسر: ببخشید مامان، نمیخواستم ______ شما را ______.
The son is apologizing for his action, so he uses 'del' and the 1st person singular subjunctive 'beshkanam'.
🎉 Score: /4
Visual Learning Aids
Intensity of Hurt
Frequently Asked Questions
14 questionsYou can, but it sounds like a translation from English. 'Del' is the authentic idiomatic choice.
No, it's very common between parents and children, or even between a teacher and a student.
Say 'Del-am shekasteh' (adjective) or 'Del-am shekast' (verb).
Not at all. It's a very emotional and sincere phrase used in all levels of society.
'Del be dast avardan' (to win/soothe a heart).
Only if you have a very close, personal relationship with the person. Otherwise, it's too emotional.
No, it's strictly emotional, though Iranians often feel this pain in their 'gut' area.
Yes, 'Daghoon kardan' (to wreck) is often used by youth.
Persian culture is highly emotional and relationship-oriented, making this a frequent topic.
Yes, the present stem is 'shekan-', but the past stem is 'shekast-'.
Yes, if you feel you've disappointed your dog or cat, you can say it jokingly!
It means 'a heartbroken person.'
The concept is there, but the specific Persian idiom is from Persian literature and Sufism.
Say: 'Bebakhshid ke deletan ra shekastam. Mikhoham az del-etan dar-avaram.'
Related Phrases
دلشکسته
specialized formHeartbroken
دل به دست آوردن
contrastTo win someone's heart / to make amends
دلخور شدن
similarTo be annoyed/upset
دلسوزاندن
similarTo make someone feel pity
Where to Use It
Romantic Breakup
Sara: چرا ترکم کردی؟ تو دل من را شکستی.
Ali: متاسفم، نمیخواستم اینطور بشود.
Disappointing a Parent
Mother: با این نمرهها دل من را شکستی.
Son: قول میدهم جبران کنم، مامان.
Betrayal by a Friend
Reza: او راز مرا به همه گفت. واقعاً دلم شکست.
Omid: باورم نمیشود او چنین کاری کرده باشد.
Refusing a Kind Offer (Ta'arof)
Host: باید برای شام بمانید، وگرنه دل ما را میشکنید.
Guest: اختیار دارید، این چه حرفی است؟
Social Media Commenting
User1: این خبر دل آدم را میشکند.
User2: واقعاً ناراحتکننده است.
Poetry Reading
Teacher: شاعر میگوید: دلی را نشکن که عرش خداست.
Student: چه تعبیر زیبایی!
Memorize It
Mnemonic
Think of 'Del' as a 'Delicate' glass vase. 'Shekastan' sounds like 'shattering'. If you drop a delicate vase, it shatters—just like breaking a heart.
Visual Association
Imagine a beautiful Persian turquoise tile (symbolizing the heart) with a large, jagged crack running through the middle of it.
Rhyme
دل را نشکن، که خدا در آن است (Del ra nashkan, ke Khoda dar an ast) - Don't break the heart, for God is within it.
Story
A young potter spends years making a perfect heart-shaped jar (Del). One day, a careless traveler knocks it over (Shekastan). The potter is devastated because that jar was his soul's masterpiece. This is 'Del shekastan'.
Word Web
Challenge
Write a 3-sentence apology in Persian to someone whose heart you 'broke' (even if imaginary), using the correct 'ra' placement.
In Other Languages
Romper el corazón
Persian 'Del' can also mean 'stomach/gut' in other contexts, whereas 'Corazón' is strictly heart.
Briser le cœur
French often uses 'avoir le cœur brisé' (to have a broken heart) more than the active 'you broke my heart'.
Jemandem das Herz brechen
German uses the dative case for the person whose heart is broken.
心を痛める (Kokoro o itameru)
The Japanese equivalent for a breakup is often 'furu' (to dump/shake off).
كسر القلب (Kasr al-qalb)
Arabic has many more specific variations depending on the type of emotional hurt.
伤心 (Shāngxīn)
Shāngxīn is an adjective/verb for 'to be sad,' not necessarily 'to break someone else's heart'.
가슴이 아프다 (Gaseumi apeuda)
Focuses on the physical sensation of the ache in the chest.
Partir o coração
The verb 'partir' can also mean 'to leave,' adding a layer of double meaning in breakups.
Easily Confused
Learners think it means 'hitting the heart' (hurting).
It actually means to become sick of something (like eating too much sweets).
Sounds like 'giving a heart' (breaking it?).
It means to fall in love or to pay close attention.
FAQ (14)
You can, but it sounds like a translation from English. 'Del' is the authentic idiomatic choice.
No, it's very common between parents and children, or even between a teacher and a student.
Say 'Del-am shekasteh' (adjective) or 'Del-am shekast' (verb).
Not at all. It's a very emotional and sincere phrase used in all levels of society.
'Del be dast avardan' (to win/soothe a heart).
Only if you have a very close, personal relationship with the person. Otherwise, it's too emotional.
No, it's strictly emotional, though Iranians often feel this pain in their 'gut' area.
Yes, 'Daghoon kardan' (to wreck) is often used by youth.
Persian culture is highly emotional and relationship-oriented, making this a frequent topic.
Yes, the present stem is 'shekan-', but the past stem is 'shekast-'.
Yes, if you feel you've disappointed your dog or cat, you can say it jokingly!
It means 'a heartbroken person.'
The concept is there, but the specific Persian idiom is from Persian literature and Sufism.
Say: 'Bebakhshid ke deletan ra shekastam. Mikhoham az del-etan dar-avaram.'
