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소원하다

A2 adjective #7,500 most common 9 min read

소원하다

Top 7,500

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips 소원하다 in 30 Seconds

Explanation 소원하다 in your Level:

At the A1 level, you don't need to use '소원하다' often, but you might hear it. Think of it as a fancy way to say 'not close anymore'. In basic Korean, you would say '안 친해요' (we aren't close) or '멀어요' (it's far/distant). '소원하다' is more about the feeling of drifting apart. If you see this word, look at the context—it's usually about friends or family who haven't talked in a long time. Just remember: it means the 'space' between two people's hearts has grown bigger. It is an adjective, so it describes a state. You can think of it as the opposite of '친하다' (to be close). Even though it's a bit advanced for A1, knowing it will help you understand K-dramas where people are often sad about being distant from their family.

For A2 learners, '소원하다' is a useful word to describe changes in relationships. You are starting to learn about the '-어지다' grammar, which means 'to become'. You will frequently see '소원해지다' (to become distant). This is perfect for explaining why you don't see someone anymore. For example, '바빠서 친구와 소원해졌어요' (I became distant from my friend because I was busy). At this level, focus on using it with the particle '와/과' (with) or the phrase '사이가' (the relationship). It's a more 'grown-up' way to talk about your social life than just saying 'we don't meet'. It helps you express the nuance that you didn't necessarily fight, but the connection just got weaker over time.

At the B1 level, you should be able to use '소원하다' to discuss social issues or more complex personal feelings. You can use it in the form '소원한 관계' (an estranged relationship) to describe a situation. This word is very common in reading passages about modern society, where people are becoming '소원' from their neighbors or traditional values. You should also understand the difference between '소원하다' and '어색하다' (awkward). You might be '소원' with a cousin you haven't seen in years, and because of that, you feel '어색' when you finally meet. Using this word correctly shows you understand Hanja-based vocabulary and can handle more formal social descriptions. It is also common in 'Counseling' or 'Advice' type dialogues in textbooks.

B2 learners should master the nuances of '소원하다' in various registers. In formal writing, such as news reports or essays, it is the standard term for a cooling of relations (diplomatic, corporate, or personal). You should be comfortable using the adverbial '소원하게' to describe how someone is behaving. For example, '그는 나를 소원하게 대했다' (He treated me distantly). This implies a cold or indifferent attitude. At this level, you can also use it to describe an abstract distance from a field of study or a goal. It's a key word for expressing the 'alienation' often discussed in literature. You should also be able to compare it with synonyms like '서먹하다' or '냉랭하다' to choose the most precise word for a given situation.

At the C1 level, '소원하다' is viewed through its historical and cultural connotations. You should understand how the Hanja roots (疎遠) appear in other words and how this specific term fits into the Korean concept of 'Jeong' (affection). In advanced literary analysis, '소원하다' might describe the existential distance between an individual and society. You should be able to use it in complex sentence structures, such as '인간관계가 소원해짐에 따라 고독감이 깊어졌다' (As human relationships became more estranged, the feeling of loneliness deepened). You should also recognize its use in classical texts or high-level political discourse where it describes the 'thinning' of alliances. It's not just a vocabulary word; it's a tool for describing the breakdown of social fabric.

For C2 speakers, '소원하다' is a nuanced instrument for precise communication. You can use it to distinguish between a temporary lapse in contact and a fundamental structural estrangement. You will notice its use in legal or highly formal documents regarding family law or international treaties where the 'estrangement' of parties has legal implications. You can use it metaphorically to describe a person's distance from their own culture or identity. At this level, you should be aware of the rhythmic and stylistic impact of using a Hanja-eo like '소원하다' versus a native Korean word like '멀어지다' to control the tone of your speech or writing. You are expected to use it flawlessly in academic discussions about sociology, psychology, or international relations.

Practice it Examples Notes & Tips

소원하다 in 30 Seconds

Used to describe a relationship that has grown distant or cool over time.
Specifically targets emotional and social distance rather than physical distance.
Commonly used with '-어지다' (to become) and the particle '와/과' (with).
A formal Sino-Korean word often found in news, dramas, and literature.

The Korean adjective 소원하다 (sowonhada) is a sophisticated term used to describe a relationship that has become distant, cool, or estranged over time. Unlike the simple word '멀다' (far), which usually refers to physical distance, 소원하다 specifically targets the emotional and social space between people. It originates from the Hanja characters 疎 (멀 소 - sparse/distant) and 遠 (멀 원 - far), creating a sense of a bond that has become thin and stretched. This word is frequently used in contexts where two parties who were once close—such as friends, family members, or even business partners—have drifted apart due to a lack of communication, a specific conflict, or simply the passage of time without interaction.

Emotional Nuance: It suggests a lingering awkwardness or a deliberate lack of contact, rather than just a temporary absence.

결혼 후 친구들과 사이가 소원해졌다. (After marriage, the relationship with my friends became estranged.)

In Korean society, maintaining close ties (인맥) is highly valued, so describing a relationship as 소원하다 often carries a slightly melancholic or regretful tone. It implies that the natural warmth that should exist in a relationship has evaporated. You might hear this in family dramas when siblings haven't spoken for years, or in news reports regarding diplomatic relations between countries that have cooled off. It is a 'state' of being, often used with the resultative form '-어지다' (to become) to indicate the process of drifting apart.

Social Context: Used often in formal or semi-formal situations to politely describe a lack of closeness without being overly blunt or aggressive.

부모님과 소원한 관계를 회복하고 싶어요. (I want to restore the estranged relationship with my parents.)

Furthermore, the word can be applied to abstract concepts, such as being 'distant' from one's studies or a particular hobby, though its primary use is interpersonal. When people use this word, they are highlighting the gap where intimacy used to be. It is less about 'hating' someone and more about the 'absence' of the previous bond. In a culture that emphasizes 'Jeong' (affectionate attachment), 소원하다 represents the cooling or thinning of that 'Jeong'.

Usage Frequency: While common in literature and news, it is also frequently used in daily conversation when discussing personal troubles or reflecting on past friendships.

우리는 서로 바빠서 연락이 소원해졌어요. (We became distant because we were both busy.)

그들은 한때 절친이었으나 지금은 소원한 사이다. (They were once best friends, but now they are distant.)

오해로 인해 형제 사이가 소원해졌다. (The relationship between the brothers became estranged due to a misunderstanding.)

Using 소원하다 correctly requires understanding its grammatical behavior as an adjective. In Korean, adjectives function like verbs in terms of conjugation, but they describe a state rather than an action. The most common structure is '[Person A]와/과 [Person B]의 사이가 소원하다' (The relationship between A and B is distant) or '[Person A]는 [Person B]와/과 소원하다' (A is distant with B).

The '-어지다' Pattern: Because relationships change over time, you will almost always see this word as '소원해지다' (to become distant). This indicates a transition from closeness to estrangement.

바쁜 일상 속에서 친구들과의 관계가 소원해지기 쉽습니다. (It is easy for relationships with friends to become distant in busy daily life.)

When modifying a noun, use the form '소원한'. For example, '소원한 관계' (an estranged relationship). This is useful for describing the current status of a bond. It's important to note that '소원하다' is a 'Hanja-eo' (Sino-Korean word), which gives it a more formal and serious tone compared to '멀어지다' (to get far/distant). If you are writing a formal essay or a letter expressing regret about a relationship, 소원하다 is the better choice.

Common Particles: Use '와/과' (with) to specify the person you are distant from. Use '사이가' (relationship) as the subject to describe the bond itself.

그는 가족과 소원하게 지내고 있다. (He is living distantly from his family.)

Another interesting usage is the adverbial form '소원하게', which describes the *manner* in which people are interacting (or not interacting). If someone is treating you '소원하게', they are acting distant and cold toward you. This is slightly different from the general state of the relationship; it describes the immediate behavior.

Negative Form: To say a relationship is NOT distant, you would use '소원하지 않다' or, more commonly, '가깝다' (close) or '친하다' (intimate).

두 나라의 관계가 예전만큼 소원하지 않습니다. (The relationship between the two countries is not as distant as before.)

그녀는 동료들과 소원한 관계를 유지하고 있다. (She is maintaining a distant relationship with her colleagues.)

In South Korea, 소원하다 is a staple in media that deals with human emotions and social dynamics. You will hear it most frequently in K-Dramas, specifically in 'Makjang' (over-the-top) or family melodramas. Characters often lament how their busy lives or past betrayals have caused them to become 소원하다 with their loved ones. It adds a layer of literary weight to the dialogue, making the emotional distance feel more profound and perhaps more permanent than just saying 'we don't talk'.

News and Media: Journalists use this word to describe diplomatic cooling between nations. For example, '한일 관계가 소원해졌다' (Korea-Japan relations have become distant).

최근 두 회사의 협력 관계가 소원해진 것으로 보입니다. (It appears that the cooperative relationship between the two companies has recently become distant.)

You'll also encounter this word in psychological contexts or self-help literature. Counselors might ask, '언제부터 부부 사이가 소원해졌나요?' (Since when did the relationship between the couple become distant?). In these settings, the word is used as a clinical but empathetic way to describe the breakdown of intimacy. It is a key vocabulary item for anyone interested in understanding the nuances of Korean social hierarchy and the importance of maintaining 'Gwangye' (relationships).

Literature: Classic and modern Korean novels use this word to paint a picture of isolation or the inevitable fading of youth and friendship.

그는 고향 친구들과 점차 소원해지는 자신을 발견했다. (He found himself gradually becoming distant from his hometown friends.)

In corporate environments, 소원하다 might be used in a performance review or a team-building context to address a lack of cohesion. A manager might say, '팀원들 간의 소통이 소원해지지 않도록 노력합시다' (Let's strive so that communication among team members doesn't become distant). Here, it serves as a professional warning against silos and poor teamwork. It's a versatile word that moves seamlessly from the most intimate personal settings to the most formal international stages.

Variety Shows: Even in comedy or talk shows, hosts might tease guests about being '소원' with a fellow celebrity they haven't mentioned in a while.

요즘 그 친구랑 좀 소원해졌나 봐요? (I guess you've become a bit distant from that friend lately?)

우리는 10년 넘게 소원하게 지냈습니다. (We have lived distantly for over 10 years.)

The most frequent mistake learners make with 소원하다 is confusing it with its homonym, the noun 소원 (sowon), which means 'wish' or 'desire'. While '소원하다' (to wish) exists as a verb, the adjective meaning 'distant' is much more common in the contexts described above. If you say '제 소원은...' you are talking about a wish. If you say '제 친구와 소원해요', you are saying you are distant from your friend. Beginners often mix these up because they look identical in Hangeul.

The Adjective vs. Verb Trap: In Korean, adjectives don't take the '-ㄴ다' ending in the plain present tense. So, '소원하다' (is distant) is correct, while '소원한다' (wishes) is the verb form. Misusing these can completely change your meaning.

Wrong: 친구와 사이가 소원한다. (Incorrect grammar for 'is distant')
Right: 친구와 사이가 소원하다. (Correct state description)

Another mistake is using 소원하다 for physical distance. If you want to say your house is far from the school, you must use '멀다'. Using 소원하다 in this context will sound very strange and confusing to a native speaker. It is strictly for social and emotional 'distance'. Additionally, some learners use it to mean 'awkward' (어색하다). While being distant can lead to awkwardness, they are not the same. 소원하다 describes the *lack of contact* or *bond*, while '어색하다' describes the *feeling* of discomfort when you are together.

Particle Confusion: Learners often forget to use '와/과' or '사이가'. Saying '나는 친구를 소원하다' is grammatically incorrect because adjectives cannot take an object marker (를/을).

Wrong: 나는 형을 소원하다.
Right: 나는 형과 소원하다.

Finally, avoid using 소원하다 for very short periods of time. If you haven't seen a friend for two days, you aren't 소원하다. The word implies a significant or semi-permanent shift in the relationship. It's a 'long-term' state word. Overusing it for minor lapses in communication can make you sound overly dramatic or formal in casual settings.

두 사람의 사이가 소원해진 원인이 무엇인가요? (What is the reason the relationship between the two became distant?)

서로의 오해를 풀지 못해 관계가 소원해졌다. (The relationship became distant because they couldn't resolve their misunderstanding.)

To truly master 소원하다, you must see how it fits into the broader spectrum of 'distance' words in Korean. The most direct synonym is 멀어지다 (to grow distant). While '멀어지다' is a verb and can be used for both physical and emotional distance, 소원하다 is more formal and specific to relationships. If you want to sound more literary or serious, choose 소원하다. If you're talking casually with friends, '멀어지다' is more natural.

Comparison: 소원하다 vs. 어색하다: '소원하다' is about the status of the bond (not talking, no contact). '어색하다' is about the feeling of awkwardness when you are actually together.

우리는 소원한 사이라서 만나면 어색해요. (Because we are distant, it's awkward when we meet.)

Another related word is 서먹하다. This describes the 'stiff' or 'uncomfortable' feeling between people who aren't close yet or have become distant. It focuses more on the atmosphere than the actual status of the relationship. Then there is 냉랭하다 (to be chilly/cold), which is used when there is a palpable tension or coldness in the air, often after a fight. 소원하다 is more about the 'gap' rather than the 'temperature'.

Comparison: 소원하다 vs. 남남이 되다: '소원하다' means the bond is thin. '남남이 되다' (to become strangers) means the bond is completely broken.

완전히 남남이 되기 전에 소원해진 관계를 회복하세요. (Restore the distant relationship before you become complete strangers.)

In some cases, you might use 등을 돌리다 (to turn one's back), which is an idiom for betrayal or a permanent split. 소원하다 is less aggressive; it can happen naturally without a 'betrayal'. For instance, life just gets in the way. Using the right word depends on how much 'agency' or 'emotion' you want to convey. 소원하다 is the most objective way to describe a cooling relationship.

Antonyms: The opposites are '친밀하다' (intimate), '가깝다' (close), and '다정하다' (warm/kind).

그들은 매우 친밀한 관계를 유지하고 있다. (They are maintaining a very intimate relationship.)

우리는 사이가 소원해졌지만 여전히 서로를 존중한다. (We became distant, but we still respect each other.)

How Formal Is It?

Fun Fact

The character 疎 (소) is also used in '소통' (communication). In '소통', it means 'to let through/clear', while in '소원', it emphasizes the 'thinness' or 'gap'.

Pronunciation Guide

UK /so.wʌn.ɦa.da/

US /soʊ.wʌn.hɑː.dɑː/

Stress is usually even across syllables, but a slight emphasis can be placed on 'won'.

Rhymes With

영원하다 (to be eternal) 평온하다 (to be peaceful) 조용하다 (to be quiet) 시원하다 (to be cool/refreshing) 망연하다 (to be dazed) 엄연하다 (to be undeniable) 의연하다 (to be resolute) 연연하다 (to be obsessed)

Common Errors

Pronouncing 'won' like 'one'. In Korean, it's closer to 'wuhn'.
Making the 'h' in 'hada' too strong. It's often weakened between vowels.
Confusing the pitch with '소원' (wish), though context usually clarifies.
Forgetting that 'hada' adjectives follow adjective conjugation rules.
Over-emphasizing the 'o' in 'so', making it sound like 'su'.

Difficulty Rating

Reading 3/5

Easy to recognize in text, but must distinguish from 'wish'.

Writing 4/5

Requires correct particle usage (와/과) and conjugation.

Speaking 3/5

Common in emotional or serious conversations.

Listening 3/5

Clearly pronounced, but context is key for meaning.

What to Learn Next

Prerequisites

멀다 사이 관계 친하다 연락

Learn Next

소외되다 단절되다 어색하다 서먹하다 회복하다

Advanced

격조하다 냉랭하다 남남 절교 외면하다

Grammar to Know

-어지다 (to become)

소원해졌어요.

와/과 (with - comparative/relational)

친구와 소원하다.

-ㄴ/은 (adjective noun modifier)

소원한 관계.

-게 (adverbializer)

소원하게 지내다.

-기 때문에 (because of)

바쁘기 때문에 소원해졌다.

Examples by Level

우리는 조금 소원해요.

We are a bit distant.

소원해요 is the polite present form of 소원하다.

친구와 사이가 소원하다.

The relationship with my friend is distant.

사이가 (relationship) is the subject.

그와 소원한 사이예요.

I am in a distant relationship with him.

소원한 is the adjective form modifying 사이 (relationship).

부모님과 소원해요.

I am distant from my parents.

과 (with) marks the person you are distant from.

요즘은 연락이 소원하다.

Lately, contact is distant (sparse).

연락 (contact) is the subject.

동생과 소원해졌어요.

I became distant from my younger sibling.

-어졌다 indicates a change in state.

우리는 소원한 친구예요.

We are distant friends.

Modifying the noun '친구'.

사이가 소원하면 슬퍼요.

If a relationship is distant, it's sad.

-면 means 'if'.

일이 바빠서 가족과 소원해졌다.

I became distant from my family because work was busy.

-아서 indicates a reason.

오해 때문에 친구와 소원해졌어요.

I became distant from my friend because of a misunderstanding.

때문에 indicates a cause.

오랫동안 못 만나서 소원해진 것 같아요.

I think we became distant because we couldn't meet for a long time.

-ㄴ 것 같다 means 'it seems like'.

사이가 소원해지기 전에 대화하세요.

Talk before the relationship becomes distant.

-기 전에 means 'before doing'.

그들은 이제 소원한 관계가 되었다.

They have now become an estranged relationship.

-가 되다 means 'to become'.

우리는 소원하지만 서로를 생각해요.

We are distant, but we think of each other.

-지만 means 'but'.

소원한 사이를 다시 가깝게 만들고 싶어요.

I want to make the distant relationship close again.

가깝게 (closely) is the adverbial form.

그 친구와 왜 소원해졌나요?

Why did you become distant from that friend?

-었나요 is a polite question ending.

사춘기 아들과의 관계가 점차 소원해지고 있다.

The relationship with my adolescent son is gradually becoming distant.

-고 있다 indicates an ongoing process.

이사 간 후에 고향 친구들과 소원해졌다.

After moving, I became distant from my hometown friends.

-ㄴ 후에 means 'after doing'.

그녀는 동료들과 소원하게 지내는 편이다.

She tends to live distantly from her colleagues.

-는 편이다 means 'tends to'.

소원했던 친구에게서 갑자기 연락이 왔다.

I suddenly got a call from a friend I had been distant with.

-었던 indicates a past state that has ended or changed.

부부 사이가 소원해지면 대화가 줄어든다.

When a couple's relationship becomes distant, conversation decreases.

줄어든다 (decreases) is a verb.

소원해진 관계를 회복하는 것은 쉽지 않다.

Recovering an estranged relationship is not easy.

-는 것 is the gerund form.

우리는 한때 친했지만 지금은 소원한 사이다.

We were once close, but now we are distant.

한때 means 'once/at one time'.

연락이 소원해지면서 자연스럽게 멀어졌다.

As contact became distant, we naturally drifted apart.

-면서 indicates simultaneous actions/states.

현대 사회에서 이웃 간의 관계가 소원해지는 것은 안타까운 일이다.

It is a pity that relationships between neighbors are becoming distant in modern society.

안타까운 (pity/sad) modifies 일 (matter).

정치적 견해 차이로 인해 형제 사이가 소원해졌다.

The relationship between the brothers became distant due to differences in political views.

-로 인해 means 'due to'.

그는 자신의 꿈과 소원해진 삶을 살고 있었다.

He was living a life that was distant from his dreams.

Metaphorical use of 'distant'.

두 나라의 외교 관계가 급격히 소원해졌다.

The diplomatic relations between the two countries became distant rapidly.

급격히 (rapidly) is an adverb.

오랜 갈등 끝에 그들은 소원한 관계로 남기로 했다.

After a long conflict, they decided to remain in a distant relationship.

-기로 하다 means 'to decide to'.

소원해진 마음을 돌리기는 매우 어렵다.

It is very difficult to turn back a heart that has become distant.

마음을 돌리다 is an idiom (to change one's mind/heart).

그는 조직 내에서 소원한 위치에 처해 있다.

He is in a distant (isolated) position within the organization.

처해 있다 means 'to be in a situation'.

사이가 소원해진 원인을 분석해 보아야 한다.

We must analyze the cause of the relationship becoming distant.

-아/어 보아야 한다 means 'must try to'.

도시화가 진행됨에 따라 공동체 의식이 소원해지고 있다.

As urbanization progresses, the sense of community is becoming distant.

-함에 따라 means 'according to/as (something happens)'.

그의 문학 세계는 대중의 관심과 소원한 경향이 있다.

His literary world tends to be distant from public interest.

경향이 있다 means 'to have a tendency'.

부모의 이혼은 자녀와의 관계를 소원하게 만드는 주요 요인이다.

Parents' divorce is a major factor that makes the relationship with children distant.

요인 (factor) is a formal word for 'cause'.

한때의 오해가 평생의 소원함으로 이어질 수도 있다.

A momentary misunderstanding can lead to a lifetime of estrangement.

-으로 이어지다 means 'to lead to'.

기술의 발달이 오히려 인간 사이를 소원하게 만들기도 한다.

The development of technology sometimes rather makes people distant from each other.

오히려 means 'rather/on the contrary'.

그들은 겉으로는 친해 보이지만 실제로는 소원한 사이다.

They look close on the outside, but in reality, they are distant.

겉으로는 (on the outside) vs 실제로 (in reality).

전통적인 가치관과 소원해진 현대인들의 삶을 조명하다.

Highlighting the lives of modern people who have become distant from traditional values.

조명하다 (to illuminate/highlight) is a formal verb.

소원해진 관계를 복원하기 위해 부단한 노력이 필요하다.

Constant effort is needed to restore an estranged relationship.

부단한 (constant/ceaseless) is an advanced adjective.

실존주의 문학에서 인간의 소외는 타자와의 소원함에서 비롯된다.

In existentialist literature, human alienation stems from the estrangement from others.

-에서 비롯된다 means 'to originate from'.

국가 간의 소원한 관계는 지정학적 리스크를 증대시킨다.

Distant relations between nations increase geopolitical risks.

증대시킨다 (to increase/augment) is a formal causative verb.

그의 철학은 현실 세계와 소원한 이상주의에 치우쳐 있다.

His philosophy is biased toward an idealism distant from the real world.

치우쳐 있다 means 'to be biased/lopsided'.

심리적 외상은 타인과 소원한 관계를 형성하게 하는 기제로 작용한다.

Psychological trauma acts as a mechanism that causes one to form distant relationships with others.

기제로 작용하다 (to act as a mechanism).

정보의 홍수 속에서 진실과의 소원함은 더욱 심화되고 있다.

In the flood of information, the estrangement from truth is deepening further.

심화되다 (to deepen/intensify).

자본주의의 고도화는 노동자로 하여금 자신의 노동 생산물과 소원하게 한다.

The advancement of capitalism makes workers distant from the products of their labor.

-로 하여금 (making/letting someone do something).

예술적 전위성은 대중과의 소원함을 필연적으로 동반한다.

Artistic avant-garde inevitably accompanies estrangement from the public.

필연적으로 (inevitably) and 동반하다 (to accompany).

소원한 관계의 이면에는 말하지 못한 수많은 사연이 숨겨져 있다.

Behind an estranged relationship, countless unspoken stories are hidden.

이면 (the other side/hidden side).

Common Collocations

사이가 소원하다

관계가 소원해지다

연락이 소원하다

부모와 소원하다

점차 소원해지다

급격히 소원해지다

소원한 관계를 회복하다

소원하게 대하다

친구와 소원하다

소원한 사이

Common Phrases

사이가 소원해지다

— A relationship becomes distant. Used to describe the process of drifting apart.

바빠서 사이가 소원해졌어요.

소원한 관계

— An estranged relationship. A formal way to describe a lack of closeness.

소원한 관계를 유지하고 있다.

연락이 소원하다

— Communication has become rare. Used when you haven't talked to someone in a while.

동창들과 연락이 소원하다.

소원하게 지내다

— To live or spend time in a distant manner from someone.

형제와 소원하게 지낸다.

마음이 소원하다

— One's heart feels distant. Suggests an emotional cooling.

서로 마음이 소원해진 것 같다.

부부 사이가 소원하다

— The relationship between a husband and wife is distant.

그 부부는 사이가 소원하다.

소원해진 원인

— The reason for becoming distant.

소원해진 원인을 모르겠다.

소원함을 느끼다

— To feel estrangement or distance.

그에게서 소원함을 느꼈다.

가족과 소원하다

— To be distant from one's family.

그는 가족과 소원한 편이다.

소원한 친구

— A friend you've drifted apart from.

소원한 친구에게 전화를 했다.

Often Confused With

소원하다 vs 소원 (所願)

Means 'wish' or 'desire'. It is a noun or a verb (소원하다 - to wish).

소원하다 vs 서먹하다

Means 'to be awkward/stiff'. It focuses on the feeling of discomfort.

소원하다 vs 멀다

Usually refers to physical distance (far).

Idioms & Expressions

"사이가 뜨다"

— Literally 'to have a gap open up'. Similar to becoming distant.

오랫동안 안 봤더니 사이가 떴다.

Informal

"담을 쌓고 지내다"

— To live while building a wall. Refers to a complete lack of communication.

동생과 담을 쌓고 지낸다.

Neutral

"남보다 못한 사이"

— A relationship worse than that of strangers. Often used for family/couples.

그들은 남보다 못한 사이다.

Emotional

"강 건너 불구경"

— Watching a fire from across the river. To be indifferent/distant to someone's trouble.

친구의 일을 강 건너 불구경하듯 한다.

Proverbial

"끈이 떨어지다"

— The string (connection) is broken. Usually for losing a powerful backer.

권력과 끈이 떨어졌다.

Metaphorical

"낯이 설다"

— To feel like a stranger (unfamiliar face).

오랜만에 보니 낯이 설다.

Neutral

"찬바람이 불다"

— A cold wind blows. Refers to a sudden coldness in a relationship.

두 사람 사이에 찬바람이 분다.

Metaphorical

"등 돌리다"

— To turn one's back on someone.

가장 믿었던 친구가 등을 돌렸다.

Neutral

"선긋기"

— Drawing a line. Intentionally keeping distance.

그는 동료들과 확실히 선긋기를 한다.

Modern/Slang

"발길을 끊다"

— To stop visiting (cutting off footsteps).

그 집에는 발길을 끊은 지 오래다.

Common

Easily Confused

소원하다 vs 어색하다

Both involve a lack of closeness.

'소원하다' is the status of the relationship, while '어색하다' is the feeling of being uncomfortable.

사이가 소원해서 만나면 어색해요.

소원하다 vs 냉랭하다

Both describe a cold relationship.

'냉랭하다' implies an active coldness or tension, often after a fight. '소원하다' is more about the absence of contact.

분위기가 냉랭하다.

소원하다 vs 소외되다

Both relate to being distant.

'소외되다' means to be marginalized or excluded by a group. '소원하다' is a mutual or natural drifting apart between two parties.

그는 사회에서 소외되었다.

소원하다 vs 무심하다

Indifference can cause estrangement.

'무심하다' means to be indifferent or unconcerned. '소원하다' is the resulting state of the relationship.

그는 친구에게 무심하다.

소원하다 vs 단절되다

Both mean a lack of connection.

'단절되다' is stronger, meaning the connection is completely cut off. '소원하다' means it's just distant/thin.

대화가 단절되었다.

Sentence Patterns

[Person]와/과 소원해졌어요.

친구와 소원해졌어요.

사이가 소원해요.

동생과 사이가 소원해요.

[Reason] 때문에 소원해졌어요.

오해 때문에 소원해졌어요.

소원한 관계를 [Verb].

소원한 관계를 회복하고 싶어요.

점차 소원해지고 있다.

연락이 점차 소원해지고 있다.

소원하게 지내다.

가족과 소원하게 지내고 있다.

소원함이 심화되다.

갈등으로 소원함이 심화되었다.

[A]와/과 [B]의 소원한 관계.

노사 간의 소원한 관계.

Word Family

Nouns

소원함 (estrangement/distance)

소원 (疎遠 - the root Hanja)

Verbs

소원해지다 (to become distant)

소원히 하다 (to treat distantly)

Adjectives

소원하다 (distant/estranged)

거리감 (sense of distance)

소외 (alienation)

단절 (disconnection)

냉전 (cold war/tension)

무심 (indifference)

How to Use It

frequency

High in media and literature; medium in casual spoken Korean.

Common Mistakes

Using '소원하다' for physical distance. → 우리 집은 학교에서 멀어요.
You cannot say '우리 집은 학교에서 소원해요'. '소원하다' is only for relationships.
Using the object marker '을/를'. → 친구와 사이가 소원해요.
'소원하다' is an adjective, so it cannot take an object. Use '와/과' or '사이가'.
Confusing '소원하다' (distant) with '소원하다' (to wish). → 성공하기를 소원합니다 (I wish to succeed). vs 친구와 소원합니다 (I am distant from my friend).
The verb 'to wish' is rare in daily speech compared to 'distant'. Context is key.
Conjugating as a verb in plain form. → 사이가 소원하다. (Correct) / 사이가 소원한다. (Incorrect)
Adjectives do not take '-ㄴ다' in the plain present tense.
Using it for people you just met. → 처음 만나서 서먹해요.
You can't be 'distant' from a stranger. '소원하다' implies you were once closer.

Tips

Adjective Conjugation

Remember that '소원하다' is an adjective. In the present tense, the plain form is just '소원하다'. Don't add 'ㄴ' like you do with verbs.

The 'Wish' Homonym

If you see '소원' followed by '을 빌다' (to make a wish), it's the noun 'wish'. If it's about a relationship, it's 'distant'.

Use with '어지다'

Relationships are dynamic. You'll hear '소원해졌다' (became distant) more often than the simple '소원하다' (is distant).

Formal Situations

This is a great word for essays or formal apologies where you want to sound sincere and serious about a relationship gap.

The '와/과' Rule

Always use '와/과' (with) when specifying the person. '동생과 소원하다' is correct. '동생을 소원하다' is wrong.

Indirectness

Use this word if you want to describe a bad relationship without sounding like you are attacking the other person.

K-Drama Key

When a character says '소원해졌어', prepare for a scene about reconciliation or deep regret.

Noun Form

The noun form '소원함' (the state of being distant) is useful for titles or philosophical sentences.

Corporate Use

In a company, use this to describe a lack of communication between departments to sound professional.

Sparse and Far

Remember the Hanja: Sparse (疎) and Far (遠). A sparse connection that is far away.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'Sowon' (wish). If you only 'wish' to see someone but never actually do, your relationship becomes '소원하다'.

Visual Association

Imagine two dots on a piece of paper. As you pull the paper, the line connecting them gets thinner and thinner until it almost disappears. That thin line is '소원하다'.

Word Web

Relationship Distant Estranged Cooling No contact Awkward Sparse Hanja: 疎遠

Challenge

Try to describe a relationship from a movie or book using '소원하다'. For example, 'The main character is 소원하다 with his brother because of a secret.'

Word Origin

From the Hanja 疎 (멀 소) meaning 'sparse, distant, or thin' and 遠 (멀 원) meaning 'far'. It literally means 'thin and far'.

Original meaning: A state where the density of a relationship or the frequency of interaction has become sparse and distant.

Sino-Korean (Hanja-eo)

Cultural Context

Be careful when using this about someone's family, as it can be a sensitive topic in Korea.

The English equivalent 'estranged' is often more formal and implies a more serious break (like legal separation). 'Distant' is a closer match for daily use.

Commonly used in 'Reply 1988' to describe friends drifting apart as they grow up. Often appears in the lyrics of 'Ballad' songs about breakup and regret. Used in news headlines regarding 'South-North Korean relations' (남북 관계).

Practice in Real Life

Real-World Contexts

Family disputes

부모님과 소원하다
형제와 사이가 안 좋다
관계를 회복하고 싶다
오랫동안 연락을 안 했다

Drifting from friends

연락이 뜸해지다
자연스럽게 멀어지다
예전 같지 않다
소원해진 친구

Diplomatic relations

양국 관계가 소원하다
외교적 마찰
냉각기
협력이 중단되다

Workplace isolation

동료들과 소원하다
팀워크가 부족하다
소외감을 느끼다
소통이 안 되다

Literature/Psychology

인간 소외
현대인의 소원함
심리적 거리
관계의 단절

Conversation Starters

"요즘 가장 소원해진 친구가 누구예요?"

"가족과 사이가 소원해지면 어떻게 해결하세요?"

"왜 사람들은 나이가 들면서 친구와 소원해질까요?"

"소원해진 관계를 다시 가깝게 만드는 팁이 있나요?"

"연락이 소원해진 사람에게 먼저 전화를 거는 편인가요?"

Journal Prompts

최근에 소원해진 관계에 대해 써 보세요. 왜 그렇게 되었나요?

내가 누군가에게 소원하게 대했던 경험이 있나요? 그 이유는 무엇이었나요?

소원해진 관계를 회복하기 위한 나만의 방법을 리스트로 만들어 보세요.

현대 사회에서 사람들이 서로 소원해지는 이유에 대해 자신의 생각을 적어 보세요.

소원한 사이였지만 다시 친해진 친구가 있다면 그 이야기를 써 보세요.

Frequently Asked Questions

10 questions

Generally, yes, as it implies a loss of intimacy. However, it can sometimes be used objectively to describe a relationship that naturally faded without drama. It's more about 'distance' than 'hate'.

No. For physical distance, use '멀다'. '소원하다' is only for emotional or social relationships between people or groups.

Yes. '멀어지다' is a verb and is more common in casual speech. '소원하다' is an adjective and sounds more formal or literary. They cover similar ground but '소원하다' is more specific to relationships.

You should use the form '소원해지고 있어요' (we are becoming distant). This uses the '-어지다' (become) and '-고 있다' (ing) grammar.

Yes. If you feel you are drifting apart, you can say '우리 사이가 소원해진 것 같아' (I think we've become distant).

The Hanja is 疎遠. '疎' means sparse or neglected, and '遠' means far. Together they describe a bond that has become thin and distant.

Yes, especially to describe a cooling of partnership or cooperation between two companies or departments. '협력 관계가 소원해졌다'.

Yes, it is a polite and formal word. However, admitting you are '소원' with an elder might be seen as a bit sad or regretful.

Not exactly. If you are '소원' (distant), you will probably feel '어색' (awkward) when you meet. '소원' is the cause, '어색' is the feeling.

Occasionally, in a literary sense. '공부와 소원해지다' (to become distant from one's studies). But it's 90% used for people.