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How to talk to the worst parts of yourself | Karen Faith | TEDxKC
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Transcriber: Anggiasti R W Reviewer: Zsófia Herczeg
It isn’t true what they say,
that you can’t love anyone until you love yourself.
Have you heard that?
People say you have to learn to love yourself
before you can love anybody else.
But it’s not true.
I loved everybody before I loved myself.
Love doesn’t care which way you come or what state you’re in when you get here.
Love welcomes everyone unconditionally.
Oddly, so do focus group moderators -
(Laughter)
which is how and why I learned to do it.
If you’ve never been a part of a focus group,
you’re missing a really special cultural experience.
So, in every focus group, there’s a range of characters, right?
There’s always a shy one and a chatty one,
a grumpy one that doesn’t want to do any of the exercises,
and a very excited mom with a notebook,
who wants to get an A plus in all of the exercises.
(Laughter)
There’s a student who lied on the intake because they need the money,
and a dad full of jokes who can’t read the room.
(Laughter)
And usually,
there’s one ex-military guy
who keeps staring at the two-way mirror suspiciously.
(Laughter)
It’s a situation
where a group of people that may not otherwise ever meet
have the chance to share their perspectives.
And it’s my job as the moderator to make sure that they all get heard.
Now, it’s not quite a classroom.
It’s not group therapy.
And while the community feel has some elements of holiness,
probably no one would call it a spiritual experience.
I mean, no one else.
Because moderating rooms of strange and difficult voices
is what taught me to welcome
all the strange and difficult parts of myself.
No kidding.
I start every morning meditation
with the same opener I use as a focus group moderator:
“Thanks, everyone, for being here.”
(Laughter)
“Your input is valued.”
(Laughter)
“I’m going to hear from each of you. I’ll give you all the chance to speak.
Just do your best to be completely present, honest,
and try to make any requests reasonable.”
So I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of me in here,
in the mind of Karen Faith.
I’m not referring to psychiatric illness specifically,
but I don’t exclude that.
(Laughter)
My mind has plenty of quirks,
but what I have to share is for anyone with an inner dialogue.
Though I admit, it’s especially for those of us with a really noisy one.
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