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Hey, Vsauce.
Michael here.
Not knowing what to do with your hands
or offering a handshake
when the other person offers a fist bump.
Forgetting someone's name...
Not having anything to say and forgetting your phone at home so you can't
be distracted by it. Getting caught staring at a stranger.
Striking up a conversation with someone you don't know in a bathroom.
Someone oversharing, telling a group
too much information. Overhearing a couple breaking up.
Noticing food in someone's teeth but not telling them and, well, now it's been too
long and bringing up would be weird.
Smelling a fart in an elevator that wasn't yours
but, well, now you can't even react to it or mention that you've noticed it
or pretend to even know what a fart is. All of those things
are awkward.
We don't like
awkwardness. It makes us uncomfortable, cringe.
But what is awkwardness?
Why is it good and who is the main character
of the universe?
To really understand awkwardness we need to put it in context with the entire
family of forces that guide social behaviour.
Think of this sheet of cardboard as a list all possible behaviours.
It's not infinite because of the limits of science and biology.
You can't move faster than light or be in two places at once.
You can't wear pants made out of molten lead.
Next, there are legal limits - the laws of the state.
They delineate what you agree not to do, lest the authorities
punish you - murder, stealing, speeding. What's left
is molded by the finder tool of social expectations.
It's not illegal to chew with your mouth open or
not cover a sneeze on a crowded bus or
act disrespectfully, but it is frowned upon.
Punished not by the police, but by social ostracism,
public opprobrium. Being called rude,
gross, mean, annoying.
Awkwardness is the finest tool. It sands
social dynamics by smoothing out what even etiquette doesn't rule on.
It's not a violation of the laws of physics to accidentally hug someone
for longer than they expected. It's not against the law
either. And the etiquette for how long a hug should last
isn't black-and-white. But it is
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