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Every Shady Pines Story 🤣 Best Moments of Sophia | Golden Girls
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- Mother lives at the Shady Pines retirement home.
- Oh, the Shady Pines.
I know the Shady Pines, it's a lovely place.
- It's a prison.
(audience laughing)
They lock us in our rooms and force us to look like
we're having fun.
(audience laughing)
Then they take pictures for their brochure.
(Golden Girls theme music)
- This is Sophia.
- Well, you must be Blanche's sister.
- You must be blind.
(audience laughing)
- Sophia's home just burned down.
- Well, that's terrible.
- Not to me.
It was a retirement home.
And you know what they did?
They set off the fire alarm in a retirement home.
Who can rush?
Half the people have walkers.
The other half can't get out of their chairs,
but they got bells going off like crazy.
You know what that does to hearts that only beat
a few times a week?
(audience laughing)
It's not pretty.
(audience laughing)
Boy, something smells good in here.
What's for lunch?
It's cat food, Sophia.
- Is that seafood medley?
(audience laughing)
- Yes, it is.
- They used to feed that to us every Sunday at the home.
- Ma, they did not make you eat cat food at Shady Pines.
- I didn't say they made us eat it.
You have the option to go hungry.
(audience laughing)
Boy, we had some great times at the home, didn't we Ida?
- We sure did.
(giggling)
- Dorothy, Ida was the best bar none
at faking an angina attack at dinner
so we could swap on non-fat yogurt for real sour cream.
(audience laughing)
There wasn't a patient that Shady Pines that didn't bless
Ida Perkins every time we sat down to eat a baked potato.
(audience laughing)
- My daughter's checking me into a lovely retirement home
called Shady Pines.
(audience laughing)
- That's great.
Come on out to the lanai.
I'll give you the low down on Shady Pines.
You know, who does what for cigarettes.
(audience laughing)
- All right, all you gals are gonna get locked up
in a closet, and us boys are going for a little walk.
- Wow, were you ever activities director
of a place called Shady Pines?
(audience laughing)
- You've known Sophia before?
- Yes, she was one of the residents a few years ago
at a place I work called Shady Pines.
(audience groaning)
But to tell you the truth,
I don't think that she'll remember me.
- Oh Ma, I'm sure you--
(screaming)
(audience laughing)
Ma, what are you doing?
- I'm rolling for my life.
(audience laughing)
You hired the angel of death from Shady Pines.
- Ma, don't be ridiculous.
She is not the angel of death.
She is a private nurse with excellent references.
And for the last time,
Shady Pines is a very reputable rest home.
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