mertua
mertua in 30 Seconds
- Mertua is the Indonesian word for parent-in-law (both father and mother).
- It is used to talk about your spouse's parents, not to address them directly.
- The word is gender-neutral but can be specified as 'ibu mertua' or 'bapak mertua'.
- In Indonesia, the relationship with mertua is culturally significant and involves high respect.
The Indonesian word mertua is a foundational kinship term that translates directly to 'parent-in-law' in English. In the linguistic landscape of Indonesia, this word serves as a gender-neutral noun, encompassing both the father-in-law and the mother-in-law of a married individual. Understanding this term is not merely about learning a vocabulary word; it is about grasping a pivotal pillar of Indonesian social and familial structure. In Indonesian culture, marriage is often seen not just as a union between two individuals, but as a merging of two extended families. Consequently, the mertua occupies a position of significant respect and authority within the domestic hierarchy. Whether you are navigating a casual conversation about family or formal legal discussions regarding inheritance, the word mertua will frequently surface as a central point of reference.
- Grammatical Category
- Noun (Kata Benda). It does not change form based on the gender of the speaker or the gender of the parent-in-law unless a specific gender marker is added.
When using the word in daily life, Indonesians rarely use mertua as a direct address. Instead, they use it as a descriptive term when talking to a third party. For example, you might say to a friend, 'I am going to my parent-in-law's house,' using the word mertua. However, when speaking directly to them, you would use honorifics like 'Bapak' (Father) or 'Ibu' (Mother). This distinction is crucial for learners to understand: mertua defines the relationship, while other titles define the social interaction. The word is often paired with gendered nouns to specify which parent is being discussed: ibu mertua for mother-in-law and bapak mertua or ayah mertua for father-in-law.
Hubungan saya dengan mertua sangat harmonis sejak hari pertama pernikahan kami.
Furthermore, the concept of mertua carries heavy cultural weight. In many Indonesian ethnic groups, such as the Javanese or Minangkabau, the expectations placed upon a 'menantu' (son or daughter-in-law) regarding their mertua are extensive. This includes 'bakti' or devotion, which might involve financial support, caretaking in old age, or seeking their blessing for major life decisions. Therefore, when an Indonesian person speaks about their mertua, they are often implying a complex web of duties and emotional bonds that go beyond the Western nuclear family model. It is a word that appears in legal documents, religious sermons, and countless 'sinetron' (Indonesian soap operas), where the trope of the 'galak' (fierce) mother-in-law is a staple of domestic drama.
- Register
- Neutral to Formal. It is appropriate for all levels of society, from village life to high-court legal proceedings.
In summary, mertua is the bridge between two families. It is a word of respect, a word of legal standing, and a word of deep social significance. As a learner, mastering its use allows you to describe your family tree accurately and navigate the nuances of Indonesian social etiquette with greater confidence. Whether you are filling out a government form in Jakarta or sharing a meal in a rural village, knowing how to identify and discuss the mertua is an essential step in your language journey.
Using the word mertua in a sentence requires an understanding of Indonesian possessive structures. In Indonesian, the possessor follows the noun. Therefore, 'my parent-in-law' is translated as mertua saya. This simple structure is the building block for more complex descriptions. Because mertua is a noun, it can function as the subject, object, or part of a prepositional phrase. For beginners, the most common use case is introducing or describing one's relationship with their spouse's parents.
Kemarin, mertua saya datang berkunjung dari Surabaya.
When you want to be more specific about gender, you place the specific parent title before the word mertua. For example, ibu mertua (mother-in-law) and bapak mertua (father-in-law). In Indonesian sentence structure, these act as compound nouns. You might say, 'Ibu mertua saya pandai memasak' (My mother-in-law is good at cooking). Notice how the possessive saya still comes at the very end of the compound noun. This is a common area of confusion for English speakers who are used to 'My mother-in-law'.
- Sentence Pattern: Subject Role
- [Mertua] + [Possessive] + [Verb/Adjective]. Example: Mertua beliau sangat ramah (His/her parents-in-law are very friendly).
In more formal or literary contexts, you might see mertua used in passive constructions, which are very common in Indonesian. For instance, 'Saya disayang oleh mertua saya' (I am loved by my parents-in-law). Here, the word mertua follows the preposition oleh (by). In everyday spoken Indonesian, particularly in urban areas like Jakarta, you might hear people shorten sentences or use the suffix '-nya' to refer to a previously mentioned person's parent-in-law: 'Mertuanya tinggal di mana?' (Where does his/her parent-in-law live?).
Dia sedang mencari hadiah ulang tahun untuk mertua perempuannya.
Finally, consider the use of mertua in the context of the 'Sandwich Generation' discussions in Indonesia. You might encounter sentences like: 'Banyak pasangan muda sekarang harus merawat anak sekaligus mertua mereka' (Many young couples now must care for their children and their parents-in-law at the same time). In this context, mertua is used as a collective noun representing the spouse's parents as a unit of responsibility. This highlights how the word is integrated into broader socio-economic conversations in modern Indonesia.
The word mertua is ubiquitous in Indonesian life, echoing through various layers of society. One of the most common places you will hear it is in domestic conversations within the home. Family members often discuss the health, visits, or opinions of the mertua. In Indonesian households, where multi-generational living is still quite common, the mertua is a constant presence, and their name or title is spoken daily. You might hear a husband asking his wife, 'Apakah mertua sudah makan?' (Has [your] parent-in-law eaten?), showing the integrated nature of the relationship.
Di sinetron itu, tokoh utamanya sering bertengkar dengan ibu mertua yang jahat.
Beyond the home, mertua is a staple of Indonesian popular culture, particularly in television dramas known as sinetron. These shows frequently revolve around the 'menantu-mertua' (daughter-in-law and mother-in-law) dynamic, often portraying it as a source of conflict or intense loyalty. If you watch an Indonesian drama, you will hear the word mertua used in dramatic confrontations, tearful reconciliations, and gossip between neighbors. This media representation reinforces the societal importance of the role, even if it sometimes leans into stereotypes of the overbearing mother-in-law or the stern father-in-law.
- Context: Legal and Administrative
- In Indonesian law (Hukum Perdata), the term 'mertua' is used to define 'hubungan semenda' (affinity relationship), which has implications for inheritance and witness testimony in court.
You will also encounter mertua in religious and traditional ceremonies. During a wedding, the 'sungkeman' ceremony involves the bride and groom kneeling before their parents and their new mertua to ask for forgiveness and blessings. The master of ceremonies will often use the term mertua when directing the couple or explaining the significance of the ritual to the guests. Similarly, in religious sermons (pengajian or khotbah), preachers often discuss the duties of a Muslim or Christian toward their mertua, citing it as a path to spiritual merit.
Lastly, in the workplace or professional settings, colleagues might use the word when explaining an absence or a family commitment. 'Mohon maaf, saya harus mengantar mertua ke rumah sakit' (I'm sorry, I have to take my parent-in-law to the hospital) is a perfectly acceptable and understood reason for taking leave. This demonstrates that the mertua is recognized as 'immediate family' in the Indonesian professional context, unlike in some Western cultures where the distinction between biological parents and parents-in-law might lead to different levels of social or professional allowance.
One of the most frequent mistakes English speakers make when learning the word mertua is trying to use it as a direct address. In English, you might occasionally say 'Hey, mother-in-law!' (though even that is rare). In Indonesian, calling your parent-in-law 'Halo, Mertua!' is considered extremely rude and socially awkward. It sounds clinical and distant. You must always use 'Ibu', 'Bapak', 'Mama', 'Papa', or the specific regional equivalent like 'Umi' or 'Abah'. The word mertua is a category of person, not a title for interaction.
Incorrect: Halo, Mertua saya! Apa kabar?
Correct: Halo, Ibu! Apa kabar? (Speaking to her)
Another common error involves the placement of possessive pronouns. English speakers often want to say 'Saya mertua' for 'My parent-in-law' because they are translating word-for-word from English. Remember that in Indonesian, the possessor follows the noun: mertua saya. Similarly, if you are referring to 'your parent-in-law', it is mertua Anda or mertuamu. Getting this word order wrong is a hallmark of a beginning learner and can make your sentences difficult for native speakers to parse quickly.
- Mistake: Confusing Mertua with Menantu
- 'Mertua' is the parent-in-law. 'Menantu' is the son/daughter-in-law. Learners often swap these two because they are learned in the same family lesson. Remember: MERTUA = Mature (older), MENANTU = New (added to family).
Learners also struggle with pluralization. In English, we say 'parents-in-law'. In Indonesian, you do not say mertua-mertua to refer to both the mother and father-in-law of one person. Mertua-mertua would imply multiple sets of parents-in-law (perhaps from multiple marriages). To refer to both, you simply say kedua mertua saya (both my parents-in-law) or just mertua saya, letting the context clarify that you mean the couple. Over-pluralizing is a common 'bule' (foreigner) mistake that makes the speech sound unnatural.
Finally, be careful with the word ipar (sibling-in-law). Some learners use mertua as a catch-all for all 'in-laws'. This is incorrect. Mertua is strictly for the parents. Your spouse's brother or sister is your ipar. Mixing these up can lead to significant confusion during family gatherings or when explaining family trees to others. Always keep the vertical (mertua) and horizontal (ipar) relationships distinct in your mind.
While mertua is the standard term, there are other ways to refer to parents-in-law depending on the level of formality and the specific relationship being highlighted. The most direct alternative is to use gender-specific terms. Instead of the generic mertua, people often use ibu mertua or bapak mertua. In very formal Indonesian, especially in literature or old-fashioned speech, you might encounter the term besan. However, besan actually refers to the relationship between the two sets of parents (the relationship between your parents and your spouse's parents). It is often confused by learners but is a distinct 'in-law' category.
- Comparison: Mertua vs. Orang Tua
- 'Orang tua' means biological parents. 'Mertua' means parents-in-law. In Indonesian culture, you might say 'Mertua saya sudah seperti orang tua sendiri' to show high affection.
- Comparison: Mertua vs. Besan
- 'Mertua' is your spouse's parent. 'Besan' is the parent of your child's spouse. It's a relationship between parents.
In regional dialects, which heavily influence spoken Indonesian, you will find many alternatives. In Javanese-influenced Indonesian, you might hear moro sepuh. While a learner isn't expected to use these, recognizing them can help in understanding local contexts. However, mertua remains the 'lingua franca' term that will be understood from Sabang to Merauke. Another related term is menantu (son/daughter-in-law), which is the reciprocal of mertua. If someone is your mertua, you are their menantu.
Hubungan besan antara kedua keluarga itu sangat erat, melebihi sekadar hubungan mertua dan menantu.
For those looking to sound more affectionate or informal, the word mertua is sometimes replaced by the spouse's name plus the parent title. For example, if your wife's name is Ani, you might refer to her mother as 'Ibunya Ani' (Ani's mother) when talking to friends, rather than 'Ibu mertua saya'. This is a very common way to avoid the somewhat formal or clinical 'mertua' and sounds more natural in casual Indonesian conversation. It emphasizes the individual relationship rather than the legal category.
Lastly, consider the term wali. While not a synonym, in some religious contexts (like Islamic marriage), the father-in-law often acts as or interacts with the wali (guardian). Understanding these overlapping roles helps you see that mertua is part of a larger vocabulary of social and religious obligation. However, for 99% of your needs, mertua is the correct, polite, and most effective word to use.
How Formal Is It?
"Pihak mertua telah menyetujui perjanjian tersebut."
"Mertua saya akan berkunjung besok pagi."
"Mertuaku asyik banget orangnya."
"Ayo kita ke rumah Eyang (mertua Papa)."
"Wah, dapet mertua tajir nih!"
Fun Fact
In many related languages like Tagalog, the word for parent-in-law is 'biyanan', which sounds different, but in Javanese, the term is 'moro sepuh'. 'Mertua' is the standardized form used in formal Indonesian to bridge these regional differences.
Pronunciation Guide
- Pronouncing 'mer' like 'mare' (it should be a schwa).
- Making 'tua' a single syllable like 'twa'. It should be 'tu-a'.
- English speakers often over-emphasize the 'r'. In Indonesian, it's a quick tap.
- Confusing the 'e' sound with a long 'e' (like 'me').
- Swallowing the final 'a' sound.
Difficulty Rating
The word is short and phonetic. Very easy to recognize in text.
Simple spelling with no difficult consonant clusters.
Requires remembering to use honorifics in direct speech instead of the word itself.
Clear pronunciation and usually spoken distinctly in family contexts.
What to Learn Next
Prerequisites
Learn Next
Advanced
Grammar to Know
Noun-Possessive Order
Mertua saya (My parent-in-law), BUKAN 'Saya mertua'.
Using 'Nya' for Possession
Mertuanya (His/Her parent-in-law).
Honorifics as Pronouns
Beliau (He/She - formal/respectful) used for mertua.
Compound Family Nouns
Ibu + Mertua = Mother-in-law.
Omission of 'To Be'
Mertua saya guru (My parent-in-law is a teacher).
Examples by Level
Ini mertua saya.
This is my parent-in-law.
Uses the basic demonstrative 'ini' and the noun-possessive order.
Ibu mertua saya baik.
My mother-in-law is kind.
Compound noun 'ibu mertua' followed by an adjective.
Mertua Anda di mana?
Where is your parent-in-law?
A simple question using 'di mana' (where).
Nama bapak mertua saya Budi.
My father-in-law's name is Budi.
Possessive structure: [Noun] + [Possessive] + [Name].
Saya sayang mertua.
I love [my] parents-in-law.
Subject-Verb-Object (SVO) structure.
Itu rumah mertua dia.
That is his/her parent-in-law's house.
Demonstrative 'itu' used with a possessive chain.
Mertua saya ada dua.
I have two parents-in-law.
Using 'ada' to indicate existence/possession.
Halo, Ibu! (kepada mertua)
Hello, Mother! (to parent-in-law)
Note on address: use 'Ibu' instead of 'Mertua' when speaking directly.
Mertua saya tinggal di desa.
My parents-in-law live in a village.
Verb 'tinggal' (to live/stay) used in a simple sentence.
Saya mau beli kado untuk mertua.
I want to buy a gift for [my] parent-in-law.
Use of 'mau' (want) and 'untuk' (for).
Mertua saya suka makan sate.
My parent-in-law likes eating satay.
Verb 'suka' (like) followed by another verb 'makan'.
Besok mertua saya akan datang.
Tomorrow my parent-in-law will come.
Future marker 'akan' and time adverb 'besok'.
Mertuamu kerja di mana?
Where does your parent-in-law work?
Suffix '-mu' for 'your' attached to 'mertua'.
Ibu mertua saya sedang sakit.
My mother-in-law is currently sick.
Continuous marker 'sedang' used with the adjective 'sakit'.
Kami sering mengunjungi mertua.
We often visit [our] parents-in-law.
Frequency adverb 'sering' and the verb 'mengunjungi'.
Mertua saya tidak merokok.
My parent-in-law does not smoke.
Negation 'tidak' used with a verb.
Walaupun mertua saya tegas, beliau sangat penyayang.
Even though my parent-in-law is firm, he/she is very affectionate.
Conjunction 'walaupun' (even though) and honorific 'beliau'.
Saya harus minta izin kepada mertua sebelum pergi.
I must ask for permission from [my] parents-in-law before going.
Modal 'harus' and the phrase 'minta izin' (ask permission).
Mertua saya memberikan nasihat yang sangat berguna.
My parent-in-law gave very useful advice.
Transitive verb 'memberikan' with the suffix '-kan'.
Hubungan saya dengan mertua semakin baik setiap tahun.
My relationship with [my] parents-in-law is getting better every year.
Comparative structure 'semakin' (increasingly).
Mertua saya merasa senang saat cucu-cucunya datang.
My parents-in-law feel happy when their grandchildren come.
Verb 'merasa' (to feel) and the word 'cucu' (grandchild).
Saya belajar memasak rendang dari ibu mertua.
I learned to cook rendang from my mother-in-law.
Preposition 'dari' (from) indicating the source of knowledge.
Mertua saya baru saja merayakan ulang tahun pernikahan ke-40.
My parents-in-law just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
Aspect marker 'baru saja' (just) and ordinal number 'ke-40'.
Apakah kamu punya foto mertuamu saat mereka masih muda?
Do you have a photo of your parents-in-law when they were still young?
Question structure and the use of 'masih' (still).
Mertua memiliki peran penting dalam pengambilan keputusan keluarga.
Parents-in-law have an important role in family decision-making.
Abstract noun 'peran' (role) and 'pengambilan keputusan' (decision-making).
Terkadang, perbedaan pendapat dengan mertua tidak bisa dihindari.
Sometimes, differences of opinion with parents-in-law cannot be avoided.
Passive voice 'dihindari' (avoided) with negation 'tidak bisa'.
Mertua saya sangat menghargai privasi kami sebagai pasangan muda.
My parents-in-law really respect our privacy as a young couple.
Active verb 'menghargai' (to respect/appreciate).
Banyak orang merasa terbebani oleh ekspektasi dari mertua mereka.
Many people feel burdened by expectations from their parents-in-law.
Passive adjective 'terbebani' (burdened) with 'oleh' (by).
Mertua saya sudah menganggap saya seperti anak kandung sendiri.
My parents-in-law already consider me like their own biological child.
Verb 'menganggap' (to consider/regard).
Bagaimana cara menghadapi mertua yang terlalu ikut campur?
How do you handle parents-in-law who interfere too much?
Compound verb 'ikut campur' (to interfere/meddle).
Mertua saya sering bercerita tentang sejarah keluarga kami.
My parent-in-law often tells stories about our family history.
Middle voice verb 'bercerita' (to tell a story).
Pemberian warisan dari mertua harus diatur secara hukum.
The giving of inheritance from parents-in-law must be legally regulated.
Noun 'pemberian' (giving) and 'warisan' (inheritance).
Dinamika antara mertua dan menantu mencerminkan struktur sosial yang lebih luas.
The dynamics between parents-in-law and children-in-law reflect the broader social structure.
Academic verb 'mencerminkan' (to reflect).
Kebijaksanaan mertua sering kali menjadi kompas moral bagi keluarga besar.
The wisdom of parents-in-law often becomes a moral compass for the extended family.
Metaphorical use of 'kompas moral'.
Kita harus mampu menjalin komunikasi yang asertif namun tetap santun kepada mertua.
We must be able to establish assertive yet still polite communication with parents-in-law.
Use of 'menjalin' (to establish/weave) and 'asertif' (assertive).
Fenomena mertua yang tinggal serumah merupakan bagian dari tradisi masyarakat timur.
The phenomenon of parents-in-law living in the same house is part of Eastern social tradition.
Compound word 'serumah' (in one house).
Sikap mertua yang suportif sangat krusial bagi kesehatan mental pasangan baru.
A supportive attitude from parents-in-law is crucial for the mental health of a new couple.
Loanword 'krusial' (crucial) and 'suportif' (supportive).
Dalam karya sastra itu, mertua digambarkan sebagai penjaga nilai-nilai tradisional.
In that literary work, the parent-in-law is depicted as the guardian of traditional values.
Passive voice 'digambarkan' (depicted/pictured).
Konflik dengan mertua dapat dipicu oleh perbedaan nilai antar-generasi.
Conflict with parents-in-law can be triggered by intergenerational value differences.
Passive verb 'dipicu' (triggered) and prefix 'antar-' (inter-).
Penghormatan kepada mertua bukan sekadar formalitas, melainkan bentuk pengabdian.
Respect for parents-in-law is not just a formality, but a form of devotion.
Correlative conjunction 'bukan... melainkan...' (not... but rather...).
Kompleksitas relasi mertua-menantu sering kali menjadi subjek analisis psikologis yang mendalam.
The complexity of the parent-in-law and child-in-law relationship is often the subject of deep psychological analysis.
High-level vocabulary like 'kompleksitas' and 'relasi'.
Transformasi peran mertua di era digital menuntut adaptasi komunikasi yang signifikan.
The transformation of the parent-in-law's role in the digital era demands significant communication adaptation.
Verb 'menuntut' (to demand/require).
Otoritas mertua dalam struktur keluarga patriarki cenderung mulai tergerus oleh modernisasi.
The authority of parents-in-law in patriarchal family structures tends to start being eroded by modernization.
Passive verb 'tergerus' (eroded) and 'patriarki' (patriarchy).
Sengketa waris yang melibatkan mertua sering kali berujung pada keretakan hubungan kekeluargaan.
Inheritance disputes involving parents-in-law often lead to a rift in family relationships.
Phrase 'berujung pada' (leads to/results in).
Eksistensi mertua sebagai figur sentral dalam ritual adat mempertegas hierarki sosial.
The existence of parents-in-law as central figures in traditional rituals reinforces the social hierarchy.
Verb with 'per- -kan' circumfix: 'mempertegas' (to reinforce).
Nuansa emosional dalam interaksi dengan mertua sulit diterjemahkan secara harfiah ke dalam bahasa lain.
The emotional nuances in interactions with parents-in-law are difficult to translate literally into other languages.
Adverbial phrase 'secara harfiah' (literally).
Paradigma masyarakat terhadap mertua mengalami pergeseran seiring dengan meningkatnya kemandirian ekonomi pasangan muda.
Society's paradigm toward parents-in-law is undergoing a shift along with the increasing economic independence of young couples.
Noun 'pergeseran' (shift) and 'kemandirian' (independence).
Mertua, dalam konteks sosiologi Indonesia, berfungsi sebagai penjaga memori kolektif keluarga.
Parents-in-law, in the context of Indonesian sociology, function as guardians of the family's collective memory.
Appositive phrase and the term 'memori kolektif'.
Common Collocations
Common Phrases
— A common sentiment meaning parents-in-law should be treated like one's own parents.
Ingatlah, mertua adalah orang tua sendiri setelah kita menikah.
— To ask for the blessing and prayers of one's parents-in-law.
Sebelum berangkat kerja, dia selalu minta doa restu mertua.
— The standard way to refer to the relationship between the two parties.
Hubungan mertua dan menantu itu harus dijaga dengan baik.
— To be loved or favored by one's parents-in-law.
Dia sangat bahagia karena merasa disayang mertua.
— A talkative or nagging parent-in-law (often used in gossip).
Dia sering mengeluh tentang mertua cerewetnya.
— To be like a hero in the eyes of the parents-in-law.
Setelah membantu renovasi rumah, dia jadi bak pahlawan di mata mertua.
— A simple phrase indicating the arrival of the parents-in-law.
Ayo cepat bersihkan rumah, mertua datang!
— Showing respect to the parents-in-law.
Hormat pada mertua adalah bagian dari budaya kita.
— A gift for the parents-in-law.
Saya sedang mencari kado buat mertua yang sedang ulang tahun.
— Unofficial or adoptive parents-in-law.
Beliau sudah saya anggap sebagai mertua angkat saya.
Often Confused With
Learners often mix up the parent-in-law (mertua) with the child-in-law (menantu).
Besan is the relationship between the two sets of parents, not your relationship with your spouse's parents.
Ipar is the sibling-in-law, whereas mertua is the parent-in-law.
Idioms & Expressions
— A rare idiom referring to a very pleasant and supportive parent-in-law relationship.
Memiliki mertua indah adalah anugerah terbesar dalam pernikahannya.
Literary— Used when a parent-in-law seems nice but is actually working against the couple.
Dia merasa mertuanya seperti musuh dalam selimut.
Informal— To show off or try too hard to impress the parents-in-law.
Jangan terlalu mencari muka di depan mertua, jadilah dirimu sendiri.
Informal— The idea that how you treat your parents-in-law reflects your own character.
Orang bilang, mertua adalah cermin menantu.
Proverbial— To suffer emotionally or be deeply hurt because of one's parent-in-law.
Dia sering makan hati gara-gara mertua yang terlalu menuntut.
Slang/Informal— When a parent-in-law feels their child-in-law is like their biological child.
Bagi beliau, dia adalah menantu rasa anak.
Informal— A religious-tinged idiom suggesting that serving parents-in-law leads to spiritual rewards.
Ingatlah nasihat ustadz, mertua adalah salah satu pintu surga.
Religious— A very rude way to refer to an elderly parent-in-law who is near death.
Jangan gunakan istilah 'mertua bau tanah', itu sangat tidak sopan.
Offensive Slang— To pit the parent-in-law and child-in-law against each other.
Ada orang ketiga yang mencoba adu domba mertua-menantu itu.
Informal— A parent-in-law who is only interested in money.
Susah kalau punya mertua mata duitan.
InformalEasily Confused
Both describe in-law relationships established by marriage.
Mertua is the parent of the spouse; Menantu is the spouse of the child. It is a vertical relationship viewed from opposite ends.
Saya adalah menantu dari mertua saya.
Both involve the parents of a married couple.
Mertua is YOUR spouse's parent. Besan is your PARENT'S relationship to your spouse's parent.
Ibu saya dan ibu mertua saya adalah besan.
General 'in-law' confusion.
Ipar is the brother or sister of your spouse. Mertua is the mother or father.
Adik istri saya adalah ipar saya, bukan mertua saya.
Mertua are often treated like 'orang tua'.
Orang tua usually refers to biological parents unless specified as 'orang tua angkat' or 'mertua'.
Saya punya dua orang tua dan dua mertua.
The word 'mertua' contains 'tua'.
Tua is an adjective meaning 'old'. Mertua is a noun meaning 'parent-in-law'.
Mertua saya sudah tua.
Sentence Patterns
Ini [Mertua] [Saya].
Ini mertua saya.
[Mertua] [Saya] [Adjective].
Mertua saya baik.
Saya [Verb] [Mertua] [Saya].
Saya membantu mertua saya.
[Mertua] [Verb-kan] [Object].
Mertua memberikan hadiah.
Hubungan dengan [Mertua] adalah [Noun].
Hubungan dengan mertua adalah prioritas.
Meskipun [Condition], [Mertua] tetap [Adjective].
Meskipun sibuk, mertua tetap ramah.
Dinamika [Mertua] dipengaruhi oleh [Factor].
Dinamika mertua dipengaruhi oleh budaya.
Kehadiran [Mertua] memberikan [Effect].
Kehadiran mertua memberikan ketenangan.
Word Family
Nouns
Verbs
Related
How to Use It
Extremely common in family-oriented Indonesian society.
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Calling them 'Mertua' directly.
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Calling them 'Ibu' or 'Bapak'.
Using the relationship term as a title is considered clinical and rude.
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Saying 'Saya mertua' for 'My parent-in-law'.
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Saying 'Mertua saya'.
In Indonesian, the noun comes before the possessive pronoun.
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Using 'mertua' for siblings-in-law.
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Using 'ipar'.
'Mertua' is specifically for parents. 'Ipar' is for siblings.
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Pluralizing to 'mertua-mertua' for a couple.
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Using 'kedua mertua'.
Reduplication in Indonesian usually implies many or variety, not just two of a kind.
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Confusing 'mertua' and 'menantu'.
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Using 'mertua' for the elder and 'menantu' for the younger.
This is a common directionality error for learners.
Tips
Respect is Key
In Indonesia, your relationship with your 'mertua' is seen as a reflection of your character. Always use polite language (Bahasa Halus) if possible when speaking about them.
Possessive Suffixes
Use 'mertuaku' for my parent-in-law (informal) and 'mertuamu' for your parent-in-law. This is very common in speech.
Specify Gender
If you are telling a story and it's important to know if it's the mother or father, always use 'ibu mertua' or 'bapak mertua'.
Visiting Etiquette
When visiting your 'mertua', it is customary to bring a small gift, called 'oleh-oleh', such as fruit or bread.
The Schwa Sound
Make sure the 'e' in 'mertua' is very short and neutral. Don't pronounce it like 'air' or 'ee'.
Sinetron Tropes
Be aware that Indonesian TV often portrays 'ibu mertua' as a villain. Don't let this influence your real-life interactions!
The 'Tua' Connection
Associate 'mertua' with 'orang tua' (parents). They are the 'other' parents you get through marriage.
Future In-laws
Use 'calon mertua' (camer) when talking about your fiancé's parents. It shows you are serious about the relationship.
Avoid Pluralizing
Don't write 'mertua-mertua'. If you mean both, 'kedua mertua' is much more natural.
Third Person Only
Remind yourself daily: 'Mertua' is a label for the third person. Never use it as a name.
Memorize It
Mnemonic
Think of 'MER-TUA'. 'MER' sounds like 'Marriage' and 'TUA' means 'Old'. So, the 'Old' people you get through 'Marriage'.
Visual Association
Imagine an elderly couple ('tua') standing at a wedding ceremony ('mer'riage) next to the bride and groom.
Word Web
Challenge
Try to describe three things your 'mertua' (or a hypothetical one) likes to do, using the word 'mertua' in every sentence.
Word Origin
The word 'mertua' originates from the Austronesian language family, specifically the Malayo-Polynesian branch. It has been used for centuries in the Malay language, which is the precursor to modern Indonesian. The root of the word is believed to be related to ancient terms for 'elder' or 'parent' within the context of marriage alliances.
Original meaning: The original meaning specifically identified the parents of a spouse, reflecting the importance of kinship ties in early Austronesian societies.
Austronesian -> Malayo-Polynesian -> Malayic -> Indonesian.Cultural Context
Always use honorifics when speaking to them. Using the word 'mertua' as a direct title is considered very disrespectful.
In English-speaking cultures, the relationship with parents-in-law is often seen as more distant or separate than in Indonesia, where they are considered immediate family.
Practice in Real Life
Real-World Contexts
Family Gatherings
- Mertua saya sedang di sana.
- Apakah mertua Anda ikut?
- Saya datang bersama mertua.
- Mertua saya suka acara ini.
Discussing Living Arrangements
- Saya tinggal dengan mertua.
- Rumah mertua saya dekat sini.
- Mertua saya punya kamar sendiri.
- Kami sering ke rumah mertua.
Asking for Advice
- Apa kata mertua Anda?
- Saya mau tanya mertua dulu.
- Nasihat mertua sangat penting.
- Mertua saya setuju dengan ide itu.
Buying Gifts
- Ini kado untuk mertua.
- Apa yang disukai mertua Anda?
- Mertua saya suka warna biru.
- Saya beli ini buat mertua.
Health and Care
- Mertua saya sedang kontrol ke dokter.
- Saya harus merawat mertua.
- Kesehatan mertua sedang menurun.
- Mertua saya sudah vaksin.
Conversation Starters
"Apakah Anda tinggal dekat dengan rumah mertua Anda?"
"Bagaimana hubungan Anda dengan mertua selama ini?"
"Apa makanan favorit ibu mertua Anda kalau sedang berkunjung?"
"Apakah bapak mertua Anda sudah pensiun dari pekerjaannya?"
"Apa hal yang paling Anda sukai dari sosok mertua Anda?"
Journal Prompts
Tuliskan pengalaman pertama kali Anda bertemu dengan calon mertua Anda.
Ceritakan tentang satu nasihat dari mertua yang paling berkesan bagi Anda.
Bagaimana cara Anda menjaga hubungan baik dengan mertua setiap harinya?
Deskripsikan kepribadian bapak atau ibu mertua Anda secara detail.
Apa perbedaan terbesar antara orang tua kandung Anda dan mertua Anda?
Frequently Asked Questions
10 questionsYes, 'mertua' is gender-neutral and can refer to either the mother-in-law or the father-in-law. Context usually makes it clear which one you mean, or you can add 'ibu' or 'bapak'.
Yes, it is considered impersonal. When talking TO them, always use 'Ibu' or 'Bapak'. When talking ABOUT them in their presence, it's better to use 'Ibu' or 'Bapak' as well.
'Mertua' is your relationship to your spouse's parents. 'Besan' is the relationship between your parents and your spouse's parents. They are 'besan' to each other.
You can say 'kedua mertua saya' (both my parents-in-law) or 'para mertua' if referring to a group. Usually, just saying 'mertua saya' is enough.
There isn't a widely used single slang word, but people might use 'Mamer' (Mama Mertua) or 'Pamer' (Papa Mertua) in very informal text speak.
It is quite common, especially early in marriage or when the 'mertua' are elderly. This is part of the cultural value of taking care of parents.
Technically, no. You should use 'orang tua pacar saya'. 'Mertua' is only for after you are married. However, you can say 'calon mertua' (future parent-in-law).
It specifically means 'mother-in-law'. 'Ibu' means mother and 'mertua' means in-law.
The reciprocal is 'menantu', which means son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
It is a standard, neutral word. It is used in both daily conversation and formal legal documents.
Test Yourself 182 questions
Tuliskan kalimat sederhana tentang ibu mertua Anda.
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Siapa nama bapak mertua Anda?
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Di mana mertua Anda tinggal?
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Apa hobi bapak mertua Anda?
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Tuliskan rencana kunjungan ke rumah mertua.
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Mengapa restu mertua itu penting?
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Deskripsikan hubungan Anda dengan mertua.
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Hadiah apa yang cocok untuk mertua?
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Apa tantangan tinggal bersama mertua?
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Bagaimana cara mengatasi konflik dengan mertua?
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Jelaskan peran mertua dalam pengasuhan cucu.
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Apa arti 'bakti' kepada mertua menurut Anda?
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Analisis pengaruh sinetron terhadap citra ibu mertua.
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Tuliskan esai singkat tentang 'Sandwich Generation' di Indonesia.
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Diskusikan pentingnya komunikasi asertif dengan mertua.
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Bandingkan hubungan mertua di desa dan di kota.
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Bagaimana modernisasi mengubah peran mertua?
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Jelaskan konsep 'besan' dalam adat istiadat tertentu.
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Apa implikasi hukum dari status 'mertua' di Indonesia?
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Tuliskan refleksi filosofis tentang mertua sebagai orang tua kedua.
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Sebutkan: 'Mertua saya tinggal di Jakarta.'
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Tanyakan: 'Di mana mertua Anda?'
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Sebutkan: 'Ibu mertua saya sangat baik.'
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Ceritakan: 'Saya mau ke rumah mertua.'
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Katakan: 'Bapak mertua saya suka kopi.'
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Tanyakan: 'Siapa nama bapak mertua Anda?'
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Jelaskan: 'Saya sayang mertua saya.'
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Ceritakan pengalaman mengunjungi mertua.
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Diskusikan: 'Pentingnya restu mertua.'
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Berikan nasihat tentang hubungan mertua.
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Sampaikan ucapan ulang tahun untuk mertua.
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Debat: 'Tinggal bersama mertua vs tinggal sendiri.'
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Presentasikan: 'Peran mertua dalam budaya Indonesia.'
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Ceritakan tentang ritual sungkeman.
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Gunakan kata 'asertif' dalam konteks mertua.
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Analisis citra mertua di media massa.
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Diskusikan istilah 'moro sepuh'.
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Jelaskan hubungan hukum mertua-menantu.
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Pidato singkat tentang keharmonisan keluarga.
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Kritik terhadap stereotip mertua jahat.
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Dengarkan: 'Mertua saya sedang di pasar.' Di mana mertua?
Dengarkan: 'Ibu mertua saya sakit gigi.' Siapa yang sakit?
Dengarkan: 'Besok mertua saya datang dari Bali.' Dari mana mereka?
Dengarkan: 'Bapak mertua saya suka main catur.' Apa hobinya?
Dengarkan: 'Saya baru saja menelepon mertua.' Apa yang baru dilakukan?
Dengarkan: 'Mertua saya memberikan restu untuk bisnis ini.' Apa yang diberikan?
Dengarkan: 'Hubungan besan itu sangat penting.' Apa yang penting?
Dengarkan: 'Jangan sampai ada adu domba antara mertua dan menantu.' Apa yang harus dihindari?
Dengarkan: 'Mertua saya sangat menghargai kemandirian kami.' Apa yang dihargai?
Dengarkan: 'Tradisi sungkeman dilakukan saat Idul Fitri.' Kapan sungkeman dilakukan?
Dengarkan: 'Dinamika mertua-menantu sering kali bersifat kompleks.' Bagaimana sifatnya?
Dengarkan: 'Otoritas mertua mulai tergerus modernisasi.' Apa yang terjadi pada otoritas?
Dengarkan: 'Mertua adalah pilar memori kolektif.' Apa pilar tersebut?
Dengarkan: 'Hukum waris mengatur hak mertua.' Apa yang diatur?
Dengarkan: 'Moro sepuh adalah kearifan lokal.' Apa itu moro sepuh?
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Summary
The word 'mertua' is essential for describing your extended family in Indonesia. Remember that while it defines the relationship, you should always use respectful titles like 'Ibu' or 'Bapak' when speaking to them directly. For example: 'Mertua saya tinggal di Bali' (My parent-in-law lives in Bali).
- Mertua is the Indonesian word for parent-in-law (both father and mother).
- It is used to talk about your spouse's parents, not to address them directly.
- The word is gender-neutral but can be specified as 'ibu mertua' or 'bapak mertua'.
- In Indonesia, the relationship with mertua is culturally significant and involves high respect.
Respect is Key
In Indonesia, your relationship with your 'mertua' is seen as a reflection of your character. Always use polite language (Bahasa Halus) if possible when speaking about them.
Possessive Suffixes
Use 'mertuaku' for my parent-in-law (informal) and 'mertuamu' for your parent-in-law. This is very common in speech.
Specify Gender
If you are telling a story and it's important to know if it's the mother or father, always use 'ibu mertua' or 'bapak mertua'.
Visiting Etiquette
When visiting your 'mertua', it is customary to bring a small gift, called 'oleh-oleh', such as fruit or bread.