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Trapped In A Scottish Accent | Fern Brady | Power & Chaos
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It's terrible being an intelligent woman
trapped in a Scottish accent and living in England.
(audience laughs)
I didn't know this was my voice
till I moved to England, right?
In my head, I talk like Stephen Fry,
and then moved down south and started going into shops
and people just looked at me like a dog was barking at them.
So, I've lived there for ten years,
and it's largely great, the shops are open for ages.
But one of the hardest things is every day for the last decade
what my English friends love to do to me
is repeat what I'm saying back at me
in a bad Scottish accent.
And they always have a look in their eyes like,
"She is gonna love when I do this."
(audience laughs) Every day.
I've got one friend that does it all the time,
her name's Haley.
She's always like, "Fern,
"this is my impression of you,
'Hello, I'm Fern Brady!'"
(chuckles) Thanks, Haley, I feel so comfortable.
This is my impression of you, "Please don't tell everybody
about the time I gave everybody at Uni chalmydia."
(fakes laughter) Sorry.
Sorry, still not getting that Cockney accent,
you fucking cow.
(audience laughs)
I never really thought much about being Scottish,
and then I moved to England and then I became Scottish Fern.
And then you realize that you're meant to live up
to this cartoon version of Scottishness,
where you're aggressive, a drunk,
allergic to salad, right?
Youse all know the drill.
It's hard for me to live up to this, right,
'cause I'm quite quiet offstage,
salad, can't get enough of it.
I was considered almost quite middle class growing up here.
Scottish middle class, not English middle class, right?
Scottish middle class is where you've been on a plane once
and Mum makes you eat fruit regularly.
(audience laughs)
Don't like drinking either.
This is quite a weird thing to say as a Scottish person
and a professional comedian, I don't like alcohol.
And not because I'm a recovering alch-y or anything,
I just don't need to drink to make me blunt and offensive
in social situations. (audience laughs)
Guys, that is a gift that I have naturally.
Here's another thing, be jealous immediately.
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