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(upbeat beatbox music)
♪ All I want is ♪
♪ But I don't need you ♪
(mechanical sound effect)
- Hi everybody, I'm Dave Stassin,
alongside Jeff Worthy
and welcome to the Annual East/West Bowl.
As we get ready to watch
some of the best college players in the nation
showcase their skills in a classic showdown
between East and West.
And there really are some characters on this year's squads.
Aren't there, Jeff?
- That's right, Dave.
It does seem like the most flamboyant personalities
came to the forefront and they are here.
Let's meet the players from the East.
(upbeat hard rock music)
- D'Marcus Williums, University of Georgia.
- TJ Juckson, Wayne State University.
- T'Variusness King, Merrimack College
- Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, University of Miami.
- D'Squarius Green Jr., University of Notre Dame.
- Ibrahim Moizoos, University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
- Jackmerius Tackteritrix, Michigan State University
- D'Isiah T. Billings-Clyde, Coastal Carolina University.
- D'Jasper Probincrux III, South Carolina State University
- Leoz Maxwell-Jilliumz, East's Carolina University.
- Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar,
University of Middle Tennessee.
- Davoin Shower-Handel, University of Southern Mississippi.
- Hingle McCringleberry, Penn State University.
- L'Carpetron Dookmarriot, Florida Atlantic University.
- J'Dinkalage Morgoone, University of South Florida.
- Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon,
California University of Pennsylvania.
(upbeat hard rock music)
- We're going to be looking for big plays
all game long from Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace.
- And let's not forget the tight ends.
Ibrahim Moizoos and Hingle McCringleberry,
they've both had amazing seasons.
- That's right, Jeff.
Now let's meet the players from the West.
(upbeat hard rock music)
- Sagitariutt Jefferspin,
Texas A&M.
- D'Glester Hardunkichd, University of Wisconsin.
- Swirvithan L'Goodling-Splatt, Saskatchewan University.
- Quatro Quatro, San Jose State University.
- Ozamataz Buckshank,
Stanford University.
- Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, Jones College.
- Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter,
University of Northern Arizona.
- X-Wing @aliciousness, Missouri Western State University.
- Sequester Grundelplith M.D., Adams State.
- Scoish Velociraptor Maloish,
South Dakota State University.
- TJ AJ RJ Backslasheinfourth V,
Albion College.
- Eeeee Eeeeeeeee,
San Diego State University.
- Donkey Teeth, Boise State University.
- Torque (construction noise) Lewis,
Nevada State
Penitentiary.
- The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop,
University of Missouri Columbia.
- Dan Smith,
BYU.
(upbeat hard rock music)
(phone ringing)
- Hello, thanks for calling Mario's Pizza.
This is Carlos speaking.
- Oh, Hello.
We would like
a large pie
with pepperoni, pineapple and cheesy crust.
- Large pepperoni with pineapple and cheesy crust.
- We would also like a large pie
with bacon pineapple
and cheesy crust.
- Large bacon pineapple with cheesy crust.
Okay. Is that gonna complete your order, sir?
- You know what?
Let me gauge the room.
Uh, guys?
We gonna want another pizza?
Let me just, who's hungry?
Show of hands. Let me see 'em.
One, two, three, keep 'em up.
Four, five, six
- [Carlos] Ah, having a party.
- Yep. Pretty big one, too.
Come on guys. Keep 'em up.
Hugo, Summer, hands, food.
You know what? Let's play it safe.
Let's get another pie.
It'll be ham, pineapple.
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