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Master of His Domain: Best of George Costanza
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who are you George
castanza I'm the opposite of every guy
you've ever met you know just admitting
a man is handsome doesn't necessarily
make you a
homosexual it doesn't help I'm only
paying
half you can't do that why not he's a
doctor you got to pay what he says oh no
no no no no I pay what I say you had to
tell Julie that I made a special point
of telling you that I bought you the big
salad didn't you uh you know if it was a
regular salad I wouldn't have said
anything but you had to have that
big she invites me up at 12:00 at night
for
coffee and I don't go
up no thank you I don't want
coffee it keeps me
up too late for me to drink
coffee I said this to
people this stupid shouldn't be allowed
to live nice to meet you well I wish I
could say the same but I must say with
all due
respect I find it very hard to see the
logic behind some of the moves you have
made with this fine
organization in the past 20 years you
have caused myself and the City of New
York a good deal of distress as we have
watched you take our beloved Yankees and
reduce them to a laughing stock all for
the glorification of your massive ego
hire this man you mean to walk back in
that's the toughest move in the
business you're sending me out into no
man's land and if I get shot down I have
to crawl all the way back well I can't
do it I can't do it I tell you I
Proclaim this the summer of
George I don't think I could do
it you know they always remember the
first
time I don't want to be remembered I
want to be forgotten Jerry I've been
preparing for this moment my entire
life you know
George the ocean called they're running
out of
shrimp oh yeah
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