erlauben

Grammar alert: this word usually takes the dative case for the person. You allow 'someone' (dative) 'something' (accusative). For example: Ich erlaube dir das. If you are talking about yourself, use sich erlauben. This means you are treating yourself to something nice. Or, you are being a bit cheeky and 'taking the liberty' to do something. It is a versatile tool for your social kit. Don't forget the prefix aus- in auserlauben doesn't exist, so keep it simple.

Use it when asking for permission at work. Use it when setting rules for kids or pets. It is perfect for professional emails when you want to be polite. You will also see it on signs, like Rauchen nicht erlaubt. It is the standard way to talk about rules and rights. If you are at a fancy dinner, you might 'permit yourself' another glass of wine. It adds a touch of class to your desires.

Do not use it for 'letting' someone do something in a casual way. For that, Germans prefer lassen. If you say Ich erlaube dich gehen, it sounds like a king talking to a peasant. It is too heavy for 'letting' a friend borrow a pen. Avoid it in high-stress arguments where it might sound condescending. It is a word of order, not of chaotic fun. Use it sparingly in very relaxed, slang-heavy environments.

Germany is often seen as a land of rules and 'Ordnung'. Because of this, erlauben carries a lot of weight. There is a deep respect for what is and isn't allowed. However, there is also a dry humor in 'permitting' oneself a luxury. It reflects a culture that balances strict public rules with private enjoyment. It is the linguistic version of a 'No Trespassing' sign that you occasionally ignore for a picnic.

Die Erlaubnis is the noun form, meaning 'the permission'. You will hear Mit Ihrer Erlaubnis which means 'with your permission'. It is very old-school and polite. Then there is unerlaubt, which means 'unauthorized' or 'forbidden'. If you do something unerlaubt, you might get a stern look from a neighbor. Finally, sich etwas erlauben is the best way to talk about spoiling yourself. It turns a boring verb into a celebration of a splurge.