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Top 5 Most-Watched Live Sketches | Season 48 | Saturday Night Live
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-Hey, everyone, just wanted to check in on you.
Is everything going all right?
We've been getting some complaints.
-Oh, because we black?
[ Audience laughs, applauds ]
-We over here minding our business.
-This fall, a new medical drama for our times.
It's "Hot Girl Hospital".
-I need to go, stat!
-[ Groans ]
-Ma'am, I'm right here. You in good hands.
-What's her status?
-46. Female. Mad as hell.
She ain't getting what she supposed to be getting.
-Oh, my God. And the fit.
-Trash. Garbage.
-I need a BBL, stat,
6 CC's of Tummy Tea,
and whatever Fashion Nova we got.
-What's a BBL? Just let my basic ass die.
-No, ma'am. You're going to be a bad bitch real soon.
Hear that?!
-Oh, girl, I got to work a double tonight.
-Girl, I know, and I got to weave-oplasty
followed by emergency twerk exam.
This job, I swear to God.
-Hold up. Who that?
-My friend -- My friend -- He's been in an accident.
-I don't want to die!
-Unh-uh. -He is bleeding.
-We don't do all that here. You doing too much.
-Bye.
-Hey, I'm Charlie. NewYork-Presbyterian,
cardiology.
-Okay.
But we don't do that here.
We do wigs, butts, and clothes. If you want something else,
you're more than welcome to look around.
-Okay, so what kind of hospital is this, then?
-Okay, so boom.
Draymond Green had got in trouble
for punching his teammate, right?
And the NBA had made him do community service.
So basically, he had flew out a bunch of IG baddies...
[ Clicks tongue ]
...and put us in a building with some gurneys
and some wheelchairs, and he called it a hospital.
-Thank you, Draymond. -Thank you, Draymond.
-I need to speak to Dr. Simmons. It's an emergency.
-Um, I ain't talking to no Dr. Simmons right now
because, um, she fake. -What?
Can I just see a doctor, please?
-I mean, you can see her,
but I'm not going to get her.
Nurse, where's Janelle?
-Huh?
I ain't talking to her. She fake.
She got a little white coat and thinks
she's better than everybody. -Mm-hmm.
-Okay, well, can you just page her, please?
-Imagine...
Imagine me saying, "Paging Dr. Simmons."
-Couldn't be me. -Couldn't be me.
-Please help! My wife's water broke!
-[ Screams ]
-Oh, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Dawand? Is that you, Dawand?
-Hold up. Hold up.
Dawand, who be in our DMS every day?
-Oh, snap. What's up?
-Do you know them?
-Nah, baby, I've never seen them before in my life.
-You think you slick, coming here with your white wife,
talking about her water broke.
-Boy, get your lying ass on.
-Good luck to that baby. Her daddy winning all birds.
-Where's my wife? Is she okay?
-Oh, she more than okay, baby.
She bad. Girl, come on out, girl.
-It's giving, "Thank you."
-Yeah! -Okay, bitch!
-Yes, girl! Uh-huh! -You better work it, bitch!
-Thank you, Draymond!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Bell rings ]
-Yeahhhh!
It's how you playing, you playing!
-Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh!
-Turn that music off and sit in your seats.
My name is Ms. Fink.
And I will be your substitute teacher today.
Now, I don't know what your regular teacher
does during this class, but I am here to instruct,
and you are here to learn.
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