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Best of: Ali Wong | Netflix Is A Joke
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- So, I don't know if you guys can tell,
but I am seven and a half months pregnant.
(audience applause)
Yeah, it's very rare and unusual to see a female comic
perform pregnant because female comics don't get pregnant.
(audience laughs)
Just try to think of one, I dare you.
There's none of them.
Once they do get pregnant they generally disappear.
That's not the case with male comics.
Once they have a baby they'll get up on stage
a week afterwards and they'll be like
guys, I just had this fucking baby.
That baby's a little piece of shit.
It's so annoying and boring.
And all these other shitty dads in the audience
are like that's hilarious, I identify,
and their fame just swells because they become
this relatable family funny man all of a sudden.
Meanwhile the mom is at home chapping her nipples
feeding the fucking baby and wearing a frozen diaper
because her pussy needs to heal from
the baby's head shredding it up, she's busy.
(audience laughs)
It's so sexist when people ask me well,
if you're here then who's taking care of the baby?
Who the fuck do you think is taking care of the baby?
(audience laughs)
The TV is taking care of the baby, okay?
(audience laughs)
I'm just waiting for the right moment
to like, become a housewife, financially, you know?
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