Portuguese Courtesy Phrases: Please, Thank You & Excuse Me
Grammar Rule in 30 Seconds
Mastering 'por favor', 'obrigado/a', and 'com licença' is the fastest way to sound like a local and show respect.
- Use 'por favor' at the start or end of requests: 'Por favor, um café.'
- Match 'obrigado' (masculine) or 'obrigada' (feminine) to your own gender.
- Use 'com licença' when passing someone or entering a space: 'Com licença, posso passar?'
Overview
Courtesy phrases are fundamental to effective communication in any language, and Portuguese is no exception. Beyond mere words, they represent a cultural scaffold for respectful and smooth interpersonal interactions. Mastery of these basic expressions at the A1 level provides an immediate gateway to sounding more natural and culturally attuned to native speakers.
This article systematically unpacks the mechanics and appropriate usage of essential Portuguese courtesy phrases, including por favor (please), obrigado/obrigada (thank you), com licença (excuse me/pardon me), and desculpe/desculpa (sorry).
These phrases are not subject to complex grammatical conjugations but function as fixed expressions, interjections, or adverbial phrases. Their importance transcends simple translation; they are critical social lubricant, signaling respect and attentiveness. For instance, the gender agreement required for obrigado/obrigada is a prime example of how even seemingly simple phrases are integrated into the broader grammatical system of Portuguese, reflecting adjective agreement rules.
Understanding the precise contexts and grammatical underpinnings of these expressions will significantly enhance your communication efficacy and cultural integration.
How This Grammar Works
obrigado and obrigada.obligar (to oblige), functioning as an adjective meaning "obliged" or "indebted."obrigado or obrigada must agree in gender with the speaker, not the person being thanked. If the speaker identifies as male, they say obrigado (masculine singular past participle). If the speaker identifies as female, they say obrigada (feminine singular past participle).Eu - I) determines the adjective's form. This grammatical rule is immutable, regardless of the gender of the person you are addressing or the nature of the object of gratitude.Por favor (please) functions as an adverbial phrase, modifying the verb of the request. It literally translates to "for favor." Its flexibility in sentence placement is characteristic of many adverbial modifiers in Portuguese.Com licença (excuse me) is an interjection or an elliptical phrase meaning "with permission." It is used to seek permission or attention. Desculpe and desculpa (sorry) are imperative forms of the verb desculpar (to forgive, to excuse). The choice between -e and -a depends on the level of formality, specifically tied to the implied pronoun (você/tu or o senhor/a senhora).Word Order Rules
Por favor (Please): This phrase demonstrates significant syntactical flexibility. It can comfortably appear at the beginning, middle, or end of a sentence without altering the core meaning, though its position can subtly shift the focus or perceived formality. This flexibility is a common characteristic of adverbial adjuncts in Portuguese, which can often be moved to various positions in a clause.por favor at the end is often the most common and naturally conversational, functioning almost as an afterthought or gentle softening of the request.- Initial Position (Emphasis/Slightly More Formal):
Por favor, você poderia me ajudar?(Please, could you help me?) - Medial Position (Less Common but Acceptable):
Você poderia, por favor, me ajudar?(Could you, please, help me?) - Final Position (Most Common/Natural):
Você poderia me ajudar, por favor?(Could you help me, please?)
Com licença (Excuse me): This phrase almost invariably precedes the main clause or stands alone. Its function is to precede an action, such as interrupting, asking to pass through, or initiating a request. Therefore, placing it anywhere but at the beginning would be grammatically awkward and semantically illogical.Com licença, posso passar?(Excuse me, may I pass?)Com licença, onde fica o banheiro?(Excuse me, where is the bathroom?)
Obrigado/Obrigada (Thank you): As an adjectival expression of gratitude, obrigado/obrigada usually stands alone or concludes a statement of thanks. It doesn't typically interject into the middle of a sentence in the same way por favor might. When paired with the reason for thanks, the reason follows, often introduced by a preposition like por or pela (por + definite article).Obrigado pela informação.(Thanks for the information.)Obrigada por tudo.(Thanks for everything.)
Desculpe/Desculpa (Sorry): Similar to com licença, these apologies generally appear at the beginning of a statement or independently, as they initiate an acknowledgment of error or regret.Desculpe, eu não vi você.(Sorry, I didn't see you.)Desculpa, meu erro.(Sorry, my mistake.)
Formation Pattern
Por favor
Um café, por favor. | A coffee, please. |
Você pode me ajudar, por favor? | Can you help me, please? |
Obrigado / Obrigada
Obrigado | Obrigado pela ajuda. | Thanks for the help. |
Obrigada | Obrigada pela ajuda. | Thanks for the help. |
muito:
Muito obrigado.
Muito obrigada.
Brigado / Brigada are common colloquial shortenings, primarily in Brazil. This is an oral contraction and less frequently written.
Valeu! is a highly informal expression, akin to "Cheers!" or "Thanks!" among friends.
De nada / Por nada / Imagina / Não há de quê
obrigado/obrigada, indicating that the favor was no trouble.
De nada. | You're welcome. (Literally: Of nothing.)|
Por nada. | You're welcome. (Literally: For nothing.)|
Imagina! | My pleasure! / Don't mention it!|
Não há de quê. | There's no need to thank me. (Literally: There is nothing for which.)|
Com licença
Com licença, posso passar? | Excuse me, may I pass? |
Com licença, uma pergunta. | Excuse me, a question. |
Desculpe / Desculpa
desculpar (to excuse/forgive). The choice depends on formality, tied to the implied pronoun, though in Brazilian Portuguese desculpa is broadly used informally.
tu | Desculpe | o senhor/a senhora / tu (Portugal) | Desculpe o atraso. | Sorry for the delay. |
Desculpa | você (Brazil) | Desculpa, não foi minha intenção. | Sorry, it wasn't my intention. |
muito: Muito desculpe or Muito desculpa (Very sorry).
When To Use It
Por favor (Please):por favor when making any request, asking for a favor, or seeking something. It softens the command or inquiry, transforming it into a polite plea. It's universally applicable in formal and informal settings.- When ordering food:
Uma água, por favor.(A water, please.) - When asking for help:
Pode me explicar isso, por favor?(Can you explain that to me, please?) - When asking for information:
Que horas são, por favor?(What time is it, please?)
Obrigado / Obrigada (Thank You):- After receiving help: (Male speaker)
Obrigado pela sua ajuda.(Thank you for your help.) - After a gift: (Female speaker)
Obrigada pelo presente.(Thank you for the gift.) - After a compliment: (Female speaker)
Obrigada! Você é muito gentil.(Thank you! You are very kind.)
De nada / Por nada / Imagina! / Não há de quê (You're Welcome):obrigado/obrigada.De nada/Por nada: The standard, neutral response suitable for almost all situations. They convey that the act was not a burden.Imagina!: Used to strongly imply "it was no trouble at all" or "my pleasure." It's more emphatic and often used in informal contexts, or when you genuinely enjoyed helping.Não há de quê: A slightly more formal or traditional way of saying "you're welcome," suggesting there's no reason for thanks.
Com licença (Excuse Me / Pardon Me):- To get someone's attention:
Com licença, senhor, poderia me dizer...(Excuse me, sir, could you tell me...) - To ask to pass through a crowded space:
Com licença, preciso passar.(Excuse me, I need to pass.) - To politely interrupt a conversation:
Com licença, desculpe interromper.(Excuse me, sorry to interrupt.) - When leaving a table temporarily (Brazil):
Com licença, já volto.(Excuse me, I'll be right back.)
Desculpe / Desculpa (Sorry):- After bumping into someone:
Desculpe, não vi você.(Sorry, I didn't see you.) - For a minor error:
Desculpa, escrevi errado.(Sorry, I wrote it wrong.) - To express regret/sympathy:
Desculpe, ouvi sobre sua perda.(Sorry, I heard about your loss.)
Common Mistakes
- 1Gender Mismatch for
Obrigado/Obrigada: This is arguably the most frequent and noticeable error. Learners often mistakenly use the masculineobrigadoregardless of their own gender or try to match it to the gender of the person they are thanking. The rule is absolute: your gender determines the form. A female speaker always saysobrigada; a male speaker always saysobrigado.
- Incorrect: (Female speaker)
Obrigado pela informação. - Correct: (Female speaker)
Obrigada pela informação.
- 1Confusing
Com licençaandDesculpe: Learners frequently interchange these.Com licençais a request for permission or attention before an action (proactive), whiledesculpeis an apology for an offense or mistake after it has occurred (reactive). Usingcom licençaafter stepping on someone's foot is incorrect;desculpeis required.
- Incorrect: (After bumping someone)
Com licença! - Correct: (After bumping someone)
Desculpe! - Incorrect: (To ask to pass)
Desculpe, posso passar? - Correct: (To ask to pass)
Com licença, posso passar?
- 1Using
Por favorfor "Pardon?" or "Repeat That?":Por favorstrictly means "please" when making a request. If you didn't hear something, or need clarification,por favoris not the correct phrase. Instead, use specific questions.
- Incorrect: (Didn't hear)
Por favor? - Correct:
Como?(How?),Pode repetir, por favor?(Can you repeat, please?), orNão entendi.(I didn't understand.)
- 1Over-formalizing
Desculpe/Desculpa(especially in Brazil): Whiledesculpeis technically the formal imperative, in casual Brazilian Portuguese,desculpais very widely used, even when addressing someone withvocê. Overuse ofdesculpein informal settings can sound stiff. In European Portuguese,desculpais typically used withtuanddesculpewithvocê/o senhor/a senhora.
- 1Directness without Softeners: Especially in written communication (texts, emails) to new contacts or professionals, omitting
por favororobrigado/obrigadacan come across as abrupt or impolite. Even simple requests should be framed politely.
- Less polite:
Quero a informação.(I want the information.) - More polite:
Gostaria da informação, por favor.(I would like the information, please.) orPoderia me enviar a informação? Obrigado/Obrigada.(Could you send me the information? Thank you.)
Contrast With Similar Patterns
Por favor vs. De nada / Por nada:por, their meanings and usage are entirely distinct. Por favor is a request softener ("please"), preceding or accompanying a request. De nada or por nada are responses to thanks ("you're welcome"). One asks, the other acknowledges gratitude.Me ajude, por favor.(Help me, please.)Obrigado!De nada.(Thank you! You're welcome.)
Com licença vs. Permissão:Com licença is a fixed, polite phrase for "excuse me" to get attention, pass, or interrupt. Permissão is the noun "permission." While com licença implies seeking permission, you would not use permissão directly as an interjection in the same way. You ask for permissão (Pedir permissão).Com licença, posso entrar?(Excuse me, may I enter?)Preciso de permissão para entrar.(I need permission to enter.)
Desculpe / Desculpa vs. Perdão:Desculpe (desculpa) are the most common ways to say "sorry" for minor to moderate offenses. Perdão also means "pardon" or "forgiveness" and can be used as an apology. While perdão is understood, it is often more emphatic or implies a more serious transgression or a deeper request for forgiveness than desculpe or desculpa.Desculpe o engano.(Sorry for the mistake.)Peço perdão por minhas ações.(I ask for forgiveness for my actions.) - more profound.
Obrigado / Obrigada vs. Grato / Grata:Grato / Grata also mean "grateful" and function identically to obrigado / obrigada in terms of gender agreement (e.g., Estou grato - I am grateful [male]). While grammatically correct, grato/grata is significantly more formal and less common in everyday conversation. It's more often seen in written correspondence or highly formal speeches.Obrigado pela sua atenção.(Thanks for your attention.) - Common.Fico muito grato pela sua atenção.(I am very grateful for your attention.) - Formal.
Real Conversations
Understanding how courtesy phrases function in authentic communication settings, from casual text messages to more formal interactions, provides invaluable insight into their pragmatic use. Observe the subtle choices made by native speakers.
Dialogue 1: At a store checkout (Brazil)
- Customer: Boa tarde! O valor da conta, por favor. (Good afternoon! The total for the bill, please.)
- Cashier: Boa tarde! São trinta e cinco reais e cinquenta centavos. (Good afternoon! It's thirty-five reais and fifty cents.)
- Customer: Aqui está. Obrigado! (Here it is. Thanks!)
- (Note: Customer is male, hence Obrigado.)
- Cashier: De nada! Tenha um bom dia. (You're welcome! Have a good day.)
Dialogue 2: Texting a friend about a favor (Portugal)
- Sofia (female): Olá! Podes-me fazer um favor? (Hi! Can you do me a favor?)
- Diogo (male): Claro, diz! (Sure, tell me!)
- Sofia: Preciso que me leves ao aeroporto na sexta. Obrigada! (I need you to take me to the airport on Friday. Thanks!)
- (Note: Sofia is female, hence Obrigada.)
- Diogo: Tranquilo! Às quantas horas? (No problem! At what time?)
- Sofia: Às 7 da manhã. Desculpa o incómodo! (At 7 AM. Sorry for the trouble!)
- Diogo: Não há de quê! Vemo-nos na sexta. (You're welcome! See you Friday.)
Dialogue 3: In a crowded public space (Brazil)
- (Someone is blocking the path)
- Passerby: Com licença, posso passar? (Excuse me, may I pass?)
- Blocked person: Ah, claro, desculpe! (Oh, sure, sorry!)
- (The blocked person apologizes for blocking, using desculpe.)
- Passerby: Obrigado/Obrigada! (Thanks!)
Quick FAQ
obrigado / obrigada change based on the speaker's gender?This is because obrigado/obrigada functions grammatically as an adjective, derived from the past participle of obligar (to oblige). It literally means "(I am) obliged" or "(I am) indebted." In Portuguese, adjectives must agree in gender and number with the noun or pronoun they modify. Since the implied subject is Eu (I), the adjective agrees with the gender of the speaker. This is a fundamental aspect of adjective-noun agreement in the language.
por favor if I didn't hear something?No. Por favor exclusively means "please" when making a request. If you need someone to repeat something or clarify, you should use phrases like Como? (How? / What?), Pode repetir? (Can you repeat?), or Não entendi. (I didn't understand.). Adding por favor to these clarification questions (Pode repetir, por favor?) is appropriate, but por favor alone is not.
desculpe and desculpa in terms of formality?Both are imperative forms of the verb desculpar (to excuse/forgive). The -e ending (desculpe) historically corresponds to the formal você/o senhor/a senhora pronouns and is generally considered more formal. The -a ending (desculpa) corresponds to the informal tu pronoun, prevalent in European Portuguese. In Brazilian Portuguese, desculpa has largely become the default informal apology used even with você, making desculpe sound more formal or polite in many contexts. When in doubt in a formal situation, desculpe is safer. In casual Brazilian interactions, desculpa is common.
Valeu! common in Portugal?While understood, Valeu! is overwhelmingly more characteristic of Brazilian Portuguese as a very informal way to say "thanks." In Portugal, you are more likely to hear Obrigado/Obrigada or Muito obrigado/Muito obrigada even in informal contexts. Use Valeu! cautiously outside of Brazil or with close friends who you know use it.
favor instead of por favor?Yes, favor can sometimes be used alone in very succinct or transactional contexts (e.g., A conta, favor. - The bill, please). However, this is quite direct and lacks the politeness and softening effect of por favor. It can sound somewhat abrupt or commanding. For general politeness, always use the full por favor.
Gender Agreement for Gratitude
| Speaker Gender | Phrase | Example |
|---|---|---|
|
Male
|
Obrigado
|
Obrigado, Maria.
|
|
Female
|
Obrigada
|
Obrigada, João.
|
|
Neutral/Plural
|
Obrigados/as
|
Muito obrigados, todos.
|
Common Courtesy Phrases
| Phrase | Meaning | Usage |
|---|---|---|
|
Por favor
|
Please
|
Requests
|
|
Com licença
|
Excuse me
|
Permission
|
|
Desculpe
|
Sorry
|
Apology
|
Meanings
These phrases are essential social lubricants used to request items, express gratitude, and navigate public spaces politely.
Gratitude
Expressing thanks for a service or favor.
“Muito obrigado.”
“Obrigado pela ajuda.”
Requesting
Softening a command into a polite request.
“Um café, por favor.”
“Por favor, feche a porta.”
Apology/Permission
Asking for space or permission to interrupt.
“Com licença, posso passar?”
“Com licença, onde é o banheiro?”
Reference Table
| Form | Structure | Example |
|---|---|---|
|
Affirmative
|
Request + por favor
|
Café, por favor.
|
|
Affirmative
|
Por favor + Request
|
Por favor, um café.
|
|
Gratitude
|
Obrigado/a
|
Muito obrigado.
|
|
Permission
|
Com licença
|
Com licença, posso passar?
|
|
Apology
|
Desculpe
|
Desculpe o atraso.
|
|
Response
|
De nada
|
De nada, disponha.
|
Formality Spectrum
Agradeço-lhe muito. (Expressing gratitude)
Muito obrigado/a. (Expressing gratitude)
Valeu! (Brazil) (Expressing gratitude)
Brigadão! (Expressing gratitude)
Courtesy Map
Gratitude
- Obrigado Thank you (m)
- Obrigada Thank you (f)
Requests
- Por favor Please
Permission
- Com licença Excuse me
Examples by Level
Um café, por favor.
A coffee, please.
Obrigado, amigo.
Thank you, friend.
Obrigada, amiga.
Thank you, friend.
Com licença, posso passar?
Excuse me, can I pass?
Por favor, pode falar devagar?
Please, can you speak slowly?
Muito obrigado pela ajuda.
Thank you very much for the help.
Com licença, onde é o banheiro?
Excuse me, where is the bathroom?
Desculpe, não entendi.
Sorry, I didn't understand.
Seria possível abrir a janela, por favor?
Would it be possible to open the window, please?
Fico muito agradecido pela sua atenção.
I am very grateful for your attention.
Com licença, interrompo um momento?
Excuse me, may I interrupt for a moment?
Peço desculpas pelo atraso.
I apologize for the delay.
Agradeço imensamente a sua colaboração, por favor, mantenha-me informado.
I am immensely grateful for your collaboration, please keep me informed.
Com licença, gostaria de fazer uma pergunta sobre o projeto.
Excuse me, I would like to ask a question about the project.
Desculpe-me, não foi minha intenção ofender.
Excuse me, it was not my intention to offend.
Por favor, sinta-se à vontade para perguntar.
Please, feel free to ask.
Sou-lhe muito grato pela oportunidade, por favor, aceite os meus cumprimentos.
I am very grateful to you for the opportunity, please accept my regards.
Com licença, poderia dispensar-me por um instante?
Excuse me, could you excuse me for a moment?
Peço perdão pela minha falta de tato.
I ask for forgiveness for my lack of tact.
Por favor, tenha a gentileza de me enviar o relatório.
Please, have the kindness to send me the report.
Agradeço a vossa excelência pela disponibilidade, por favor, prossiga.
I thank your excellency for the availability, please proceed.
Com licença, rogo-lhe que me permita uma breve intervenção.
Excuse me, I beg you to allow me a brief intervention.
Sinto imenso pesar pelo ocorrido, peço as minhas mais sinceras desculpas.
I feel immense regret for what happened, I offer my most sincere apologies.
Por favor, não se acanhe em solicitar o que for necessário.
Please, do not hesitate to request whatever is necessary.
Easily Confused
Learners often say 'obrigado' when someone thanks them.
Both are used for social interaction but have different meanings.
Learners forget to match gender.
Common Mistakes
Obrigado (if female)
Obrigada
Por favor (at the end only)
Por favor (anywhere)
Com licença (for apology)
Desculpe
Obrigado (when someone thanks you)
De nada
Obrigado (for a woman)
Obrigada
Com licença (to apologize for a mistake)
Desculpe
Por favor (missing in requests)
Add por favor
Obrigado (in formal writing)
Agradecido
Desculpe (in very formal settings)
Peço desculpas
Com licença (when leaving)
Com licença (when entering)
Obrigado (in high-level academic debate)
Agradeço a atenção
Por favor (repeated too often)
Vary with 'seria possível'
Desculpe (in high-level apology)
Peço perdão
Sentence Patterns
___, por favor.
Muito ___, senhor.
Com licença, ___?
Peço ___ pelo atraso.
Real World Usage
Um café, por favor.
Com licença, onde é o metrô?
Muito obrigado pela oportunidade.
Obrigado, valeu!
Obrigado pela entrega.
Com licença, vou descer.
Gender Matters
Don't mix them up
Be polite
Regional differences
Smart Tips
Always add 'por favor' to your requests.
Always use 'obrigada'.
Use 'com licença'.
Use 'desculpe'.
Pronunciation
Obrigado
The 'd' is soft, like the 'th' in 'this' in some dialects.
Por favor
The 'r' at the end is often silent or very soft.
Request
Um café, por favor? ↑
Rising intonation makes it a polite question.
Memorize It
Mnemonic
Obrigado ends in O for Men, Obrigada ends in A for women (A for A-woman).
Visual Association
Imagine a man wearing a big 'O' badge saying 'Obrigado' and a woman wearing an 'A' badge saying 'Obrigada'.
Rhyme
For a man, the O is true, for a woman, A will do.
Story
João enters a cafe. He says 'Com licença' to move past a chair. He orders 'Um café, por favor'. The waiter brings it. João says 'Muito obrigado'.
Word Web
Challenge
Say 'Obrigado' or 'Obrigada' to three people today, even if you are just ordering coffee.
Cultural Notes
People often use 'Valeu' as a very informal 'thanks'.
Politeness is highly valued; 'Obrigado' is used strictly.
Similar to Portugal, formal politeness is very important.
Obrigado comes from the Latin 'obligatus', meaning 'obliged'.
Conversation Starters
Como se diz 'thank you' em português?
Quando usamos 'com licença'?
Você prefere 'obrigado' ou 'agradecido'?
Como você pede algo formalmente?
Journal Prompts
Common Mistakes
Test Yourself
Eu sou homem, então digo: Muito ___.
When passing someone, you say:
Find and fix the mistake:
Woman says: 'Obrigado'.
Change 'Um café' to a polite request.
Match each item on the left with its pair on the right:
A: Obrigado. B: ___
___, onde é a estação?
Find and fix the mistake:
Stepping on a foot: 'Com licença'.
Score: /8
Practice Exercises
8 exercisesEu sou homem, então digo: Muito ___.
When passing someone, you say:
Find and fix the mistake:
Woman says: 'Obrigado'.
Change 'Um café' to a polite request.
Match: 1. Obrigado, 2. Por favor, 3. Com licença.
A: Obrigado. B: ___
___, onde é a estação?
Find and fix the mistake:
Stepping on a foot: 'Com licença'.
Score: /8
Practice Bank
11 exercisesMeu nome é Pedro. ____ pela informação.
A: Te trouxe um café. B: Opa, ____!
Obrigado, eu adorei o jantar.
Arrange these words:
Excuse me, what time is it?
____ pelo atraso.
Match the pairs:
A: Muito obrigada! B: ____!
Desculpa, posso fazer uma pergunta?
You want to pass through the crowd.
Translate: 'Thanks for everything!'
Score: /11
FAQ (8)
Portuguese is a gendered language. You must match the word to your gender.
No, you should use 'obrigada'.
It is highly recommended to be polite.
Com licença is for permission, desculpe is for apologies.
Yes, they are essential in formal settings.
Yes, like 'agradecido', but 'obrigado' is the most common.
People will understand, but it is better to learn it correctly.
It is the standard response to 'obrigado'.
Scaffolded Practice
1
2
3
4
Mastery Progress
Needs Practice
Improving
Strong
Mastered
In Other Languages
Gracias
Gender agreement is required in Portuguese.
Merci
Portuguese is gendered.
Danke
Portuguese is gendered.
Arigatou
Portuguese uses specific phrases.
Shukran
Portuguese is gendered.
Xiexie
Portuguese is gendered.
Learning Path
Prerequisites
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