B2 Pronouns 8 min read Easy

Portuguese Pronouns: Using 'Who' with Prepositions (Quem)

Always place the preposition before 'quem' when referring to people in questions or relative clauses.
Mark as Learned
Practice it

Grammar Rule in 30 Seconds

In Portuguese, the preposition must always come before 'quem' when asking about people.

  • Place the preposition before 'quem': 'Com quem você vai?' (With whom are you going?)
  • Do not drop the preposition: 'Quem você vai com?' is grammatically incorrect in standard Portuguese.
  • Use 'quem' for people only: 'De quem é este livro?' (Whose book is this?)
Preposition + Quem + Verb + Subject?

Overview

Ever found yourself scrolling through Instagram and wanting to ask "Who are you with?" or "Who is that gift for?" in Portuguese? You might already know that quem means "who." But things get spicy when prepositions enter the chat. In Portuguese, quem is a total magnet for prepositions.

Whether you are gossiping on WhatsApp or writing a formal email for a job interview, knowing how to pair quem with words like com, de, or para is essential. It is the difference between sounding like a robot and sounding like a local at a Lisbon café. Most learners get stuck using que for everything, but quem is your VIP pass for talking about people.

It is specific, elegant, and surprisingly easy once you see the pattern. Think of it as the "human-only" pronoun. You would not use it for your pizza delivery, but you definitely use it for the delivery guy.

Just like that one friend who refuses to go anywhere without their emotional support water bottle, quem usually refuses to appear after a verb without its favorite preposition. It is all about the company it keeps!

How This Grammar Works

In Portuguese, whenever a verb requires a preposition and you are talking about a person, quem steps up to the plate. It functions as both an interrogative (for questions) and a relative pronoun (to connect ideas). The magic happens because Portuguese verbs are very picky about their prepositions.
If you "talk TO" someone, you use a or para. If you "hang out WITH" someone, you use com. When you turn these into questions or descriptions, the preposition must slide right in front of quem.
Unlike English, where we often end sentences with prepositions (like "Who are you talking to?"), Portuguese forbids this. You must say "To whom are you talking?" or A quem você está falando?. It feels a bit fancy at first, like wearing a tuxedo to a grocery store, but it is actually the standard way people speak every day.
The cool part? quem is invariable. It does not care if you are talking about one person, ten people, a man, or a woman.
It stays exactly the same. It is the most low-maintenance part of Portuguese grammar you will ever meet. It is basically the sweatpants of pronouns—one size fits all, but looks much better in public.

Formation Pattern

1
Creating these phrases follows a strict "Preposition First" rule. You cannot break this, or the grammar police (and your Brazilian friends) will give you a confused look. Here is the step-by-step recipe:
2
Identify the person you are talking about.
3
Determine the preposition required by the verb (e.g., gostar needs de).
4
Place the preposition directly before quem.
5
Add the rest of your sentence.
6
Conjugation Table (Prepositional Forms)
7
Preposition | Form with Quem | English Meaning
8
--- | --- | ---
9
com | com quem | with whom
10
de | de quem | of/from/about whom
11
para | para quem | for/to whom
12
a | a quem | to whom (formal)
13
por | por quem | by/for whom
14
em | em quem | in/on whom

Gender & Agreement

Since quem is invariable, you do not need to worry about o(masculine) or a(feminine) agreement within the pronoun itself.
  • O homem com quem falei... (The man with whom I spoke...)
  • A mulher com quem falei... (The woman with whom I spoke...)
Notice how quem stays the same? It is the ultimate team player.

When To Use It

You will use this pattern in two main scenarios: asking questions and describing people. In questions, it is used to find out who is involved in an action. "Who are you going to the concert with?" becomes Com quem você vai ao show?.
In descriptions (relative clauses), it helps you add detail without starting a new sentence. "That is the girl I told you about" becomes Essa é a garota de quem eu te falei.
  • Social Media: Use it for photo captions. Com quem eu queria estar agora... (With whom I wanted to be right now...).
  • Online Shopping: When buying a gift. Para quem é o presente? (For whom is the gift?).
  • Work Meetings: Clarifying responsibilities. Com quem devo falar sobre isso? (With whom should I speak about this?).
  • Streaming/Movies: Discussing characters. Por quem ela se apaixonou? (With whom did she fall in love?).
In Brazil, you will hear para quem much more often than a quem. If you use a quem in a casual WhatsApp group, they might think you have turned into a 19th-century poet overnight. Save a quem for your formal emails to the professor or a job recruiter on LinkedIn.

Common Mistakes

The most frequent blunder is "Preposition Dropping." English speakers love to leave prepositions for the end of the sentence or forget them entirely. In Portuguese, if the verb needs a de, you cannot just say Quem você gosta?. You must say De quem você gosta?. Without the de, the sentence is basically naked.
Another classic mistake is using que when you should use quem after a preposition. While que is the "workhorse" pronoun, it sounds clunky and often wrong when referring to specific people after a preposition. O amigo com que eu saí sounds like you are talking about a tool or an object. O amigo com quem eu saí sounds like you actually like the person.
Finally, watch out for the com + quem combo. Do not try to invent conquem or anything weird. It is two separate words. And remember, quem never changes to quens. Even if you are talking about the entire BTS band, it is still just quem. Plurality is handled by the verb, not the pronoun. It is like a "plus-one" at a wedding—the pronoun stays the same regardless of how many people are in the group.

Contrast With Similar Patterns

How do you know when to use quem versus que or o qual?
  • quem vs que: Use quem after prepositions when referring to people. Use que when there is no preposition or when referring to things.
  • quem vs o qual: o qual (and its variations a qual, os quais) is the more formal, "fancy" cousin. It changes for gender and number. You use o qual in long, complex sentences to avoid confusion. quem is your daily driver—it is faster, easier, and works in 90% of conversations.
  • quem vs cujo: cujo means "whose" and indicates possession. De quem can also mean "whose" in questions (De quem é este celular?), but in the middle of a sentence, cujo is more formal. Stick to de quem for questions and casual descriptions of ownership.
Think of quem as the friend you invite to the pub, and o qual as the relative you only see at formal weddings. Both are correct, but one is definitely more relaxed.

Quick FAQ

Q

Can I use quem for my dog?

Grammatically, no. quem is for humans. But if you treat your dog like a person (we all do), you might hear people use it colloquially. Just don't tell your grammar teacher.

Q

Is it Para quem or Pra quem?

Pra is just the short, lazy version of para. You will use pra quem in 99% of spoken Brazilian Portuguese. Use para quem when writing.

Q

Do I need a comma before quem?

Only if you are adding extra, non-essential information. Meu pai, com quem eu moro, é médico. (My father, with whom I live, is a doctor.)

Q

What if I don't know the preposition?

Google the verb + "preposição". For example, "gostar preposição" will show you it's de. It is the easiest way to fact-check your Portuguese on the fly!

Memory Trick

Think of the P-P-Q rule: Preposition + Person = Quem.

If you have a Preposition and you are talking about a Person, you must use Quem. It is the triple-threat of Portuguese grammar. Imagine quem wearing a little hat made of prepositions. He refuses to take it off whenever a human is around. No hat (preposition), no human!

Real Conversations

S

Scenario 1

At a Party
L

Lucas

De quem é esse copo na mesa?
M

Mari

Acho que é do Pedro. Com quem ele estava falando agora há pouco?
L

Lucas

Com a namorada dele.
S

Scenario 2

Job Interview on Zoom
R

Recrutador

A quem você enviou o seu portfólio?
C

Candidato

Enviei para a diretora de marketing, com quem tive uma breve conversa no LinkedIn.
S

Scenario 3

Texting a Friend
A

Ana

Para quem você está mandando tantos memes?
B

Bia

Em quem você acha? No grupo da faculdade, claro!

Progressive Practice

1

Start small: Ask "Who with?" or "Who for?" using Com quem? or Para quem? in your head throughout the day.

2

Upgrade to full questions: Look at your phone and ask De quem é esta mensagem? (Whose message is this?).

3

Connect ideas: Try to describe a friend using a relative clause. Este é o amigo de quem eu mais gosto. (This is the friend I like the most).

4

Go formal: Write a mock email using A quem possa interessar (To whom it may concern) or A pessoa a quem me refiro....

Common Preposition + Quem Combinations

Preposition Pronoun Meaning
Com
quem
With whom
De
quem
Of whom / Whose
Para
quem
For whom
A
quem
To whom
Por
quem
By whom
Em
quem
In whom

Meanings

The pronoun 'quem' is used to refer to people in questions. When a verb or noun requires a preposition, that preposition must precede 'quem'.

1

Direct Object/Indirect Object

Asking about the person affected by an action.

“Com quem você falou?”

“De quem você gosta?”

2

Possession

Asking about ownership using 'de'.

“De quem é este celular?”

“De quem são estas chaves?”

3

Agent of Action

Identifying the person responsible for an action.

“Por quem você foi ajudado?”

“Por quem este livro foi escrito?”

Reference Table

Reference table for Portuguese Pronouns: Using 'Who' with Prepositions (Quem)
Form Structure Example
Affirmative
Prep + Quem + Verb
Com quem você vai?
Possessive
De + Quem + Verb
De quem é isto?
Passive
Por + Quem + Verb
Por quem foi feito?
Indirect
A + Quem + Verb
A quem você deu?
Negative
Prep + Quem + Não + Verb
Com quem você não fala?
Complex
Prep + Quem + Verbo + Sujeito
Para quem você enviou?

Formality Spectrum

Formal
Com quem Vossa Senhoria está falando?

Com quem Vossa Senhoria está falando? (Phone conversation)

Neutral
Com quem você está falando?

Com quem você está falando? (Phone conversation)

Informal
Com quem você tá falando?

Com quem você tá falando? (Phone conversation)

Slang
Tá falando com quem?

Tá falando com quem? (Phone conversation)

The Quem Preposition Web

Quem

Prepositions

  • Com With
  • De Of/From
  • Para For
Sign up free to read full explanation

Examples by Level

1

Com quem você mora?

Who do you live with?

2

Para quem é isto?

Who is this for?

3

De quem é o carro?

Whose car is it?

4

Com quem você fala?

Who are you talking to?

1

De quem você gosta na escola?

Who do you like at school?

2

Para quem você escreveu a carta?

Who did you write the letter to?

3

Com quem você vai viajar?

Who are you going to travel with?

4

Por quem você foi convidado?

Who were you invited by?

1

De quem é a responsabilidade?

Whose responsibility is it?

2

A quem devo entregar este documento?

To whom should I hand this document?

3

Com quem você estava conversando?

Who were you talking with?

4

Para quem você enviou o e-mail?

Who did you send the email to?

1

Com quem você pretende discutir este assunto?

Who do you intend to discuss this matter with?

2

De quem você recebeu essa informação?

Who did you receive this information from?

3

Por quem este projeto foi aprovado?

Who was this project approved by?

4

Em quem você confia para esse cargo?

Who do you trust for this position?

1

A quem se destina esta mensagem?

Who is this message intended for?

2

De quem você se despediu ontem?

Who did you say goodbye to yesterday?

3

Com quem você se identifica mais?

Who do you identify with most?

4

Por quem você se sente inspirado?

Who do you feel inspired by?

1

A quem recorrer em momentos de crise?

Who to turn to in times of crisis?

2

De quem é a autoria desta obra?

Whose authorship is this work?

3

Com quem se deve tratar este litígio?

Who should this dispute be handled with?

4

Por quem foram redigidas estas leis?

Who were these laws drafted by?

Easily Confused

Portuguese Pronouns: Using 'Who' with Prepositions (Quem) vs Quem vs. Que

Learners often use 'quem' for objects.

Portuguese Pronouns: Using 'Who' with Prepositions (Quem) vs Dangling Prepositions

English speakers naturally put the preposition at the end.

Portuguese Pronouns: Using 'Who' with Prepositions (Quem) vs De quem vs. De que

Confusing possession with material.

Common Mistakes

✗

Quem você mora com?

✓

Com quem você mora?

Dangling preposition.
✗

Quem é este livro?

✓

De quem é este livro?

Missing preposition.
✗

Para quem você fala?

✓

Com quem você fala?

Wrong preposition usage.
✗

Quem você gosta?

✓

De quem você gosta?

Missing preposition 'de'.
✗

Com quem você vai sair?

✓

Com quem você vai sair?

Correct, but often learners forget the 'com'.
✗

Quem você deu o presente?

✓

Para quem você deu o presente?

Missing preposition.
✗

Por quem você foi?

✓

Por quem você foi ajudado?

Incomplete passive construction.
✗

A quem você se refere?

✓

A quem você se refere?

Correct, but learners often use 'para' instead of 'a'.
✗

De quem você se lembra?

✓

De quem você se lembra?

Correct, but learners often forget the reflexive 'se'.
✗

Com quem você se casou?

✓

Com quem você se casou?

Correct, but learners often use 'para'.
✗

De quem é a culpa?

✓

De quem é a culpa?

Correct, but learners might say 'Quem é a culpa'.
✗

Por quem foi escrito?

✓

Por quem foi escrito?

Correct, but learners might use 'de' instead of 'por'.

Sentence Patterns

Com quem ___ ___?

De quem é ___ ___?

Para quem você ___ ___ ___?

Por quem este ___ foi ___?

Real World Usage

Texting very common

Com quem vc vai?

Job Interview common

Para quem devo enviar?

Social Media common

Com quem você está?

Travel occasional

De quem é esta mala?

Food Delivery occasional

Para quem é o pedido?

Academic common

Por quem foi redigido?

Sign up free to see all examples
💡

Check the Verb

Always check if your verb needs a preposition before you start the question.
⚠️

No Dangling

Never, ever put the preposition at the end of the sentence.
🎯

Use 'De' for Possession

When asking 'whose', always use 'De quem'.
💬

Register Matters

In formal settings, use full forms like 'você' or 'o senhor'.

Smart Tips

Always check the verb first.

Quem você fala? → Com quem você fala?

Use 'De quem'.

Quem é este? → De quem é este?

Use 'Por quem'.

Quem foi feito por? → Por quem foi feito?

Don't forget the preposition.

Quem você se casou? → Com quem você se casou?

Pronunciation

/kẽ/

Quem

The 'qu' is pronounced like 'k', and the 'em' is a nasal vowel.

Question intonation

Com quem você vai? ↗

Rising intonation at the end of the sentence.

Memorize It

Mnemonic

Think of 'Quem' as a VIP who always needs a bodyguard (the preposition) walking in front of them.

Visual Association

Imagine a person named 'Quem' walking down the street, and a bodyguard (the preposition) is always walking in front of them, clearing the path.

Rhyme

If you want to ask who, put the preposition in front of you.

Story

Maria was looking for her pen. She asked 'De quem é esta caneta?' (Whose pen is this?). Then she asked 'Com quem você estava?' (Who were you with?). She learned that the preposition always leads the way.

Word Web

ComDeParaPorAEmQuem

Challenge

Write 5 questions using different prepositions and 'quem' in the next 5 minutes.

Cultural Notes

In Brazil, 'você' is standard. In some regions, 'tu' is used, but the preposition rule remains the same.

In Portugal, the 'tu' form is more common in informal settings, and the preposition rule is strictly followed.

In legal documents, 'a quem' is very common.

Derived from Latin 'quem', the accusative form of 'quis'.

Conversation Starters

“

Com quem você mais gosta de conversar?

“

De quem você recebeu o melhor presente?

“

Para quem você enviou a última mensagem?

“

Por quem você se sente mais inspirado na vida?

Journal Prompts

Write about your best friend.
Write about a gift you received.
Write about a project you worked on.
Write about a mentor you admire.

Common Mistakes

Incorrect

Correct

Incorrect

Correct

Incorrect

Correct

Incorrect

Correct

Sign up free to see all tips

Test Yourself

Fill in the blank.

___ quem você vai sair?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com
The verb 'sair' uses 'com'.
Choose the correct sentence. Multiple Choice

Which is correct?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você vai?
Preposition must be at the front.
Fix the sentence. Error Correction

Find and fix the mistake:

Quem é este livro?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: De quem é este livro?
Needs 'de' for possession.
Reorder the words. Sentence Reorder

Arrange the words in the correct order:

All words placed

Click words above to build the sentence

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você fala?
Correct word order.
Translate to Portuguese. Translation

Who did you send it to?

Answer starts with: Par...

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Para quem você enviou?
Standard structure.
Choose the correct preposition. Multiple Choice

___ quem este projeto foi aprovado?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Por
Passive voice uses 'por'.
Fill in the blank.

___ quem você se identifica?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com
Reflexive verb 'identificar-se com'.
Fix the sentence. Error Correction

Find and fix the mistake:

Quem você se despediu?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: De quem você se despediu?
Needs 'de'.

Score: /8

Practice Exercises

8 exercises
Fill in the blank.

___ quem você vai sair?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com
The verb 'sair' uses 'com'.
Choose the correct sentence. Multiple Choice

Which is correct?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você vai?
Preposition must be at the front.
Fix the sentence. Error Correction

Find and fix the mistake:

Quem é este livro?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: De quem é este livro?
Needs 'de' for possession.
Reorder the words. Sentence Reorder

você / com / quem / fala / ?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você fala?
Correct word order.
Translate to Portuguese. Translation

Who did you send it to?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Para quem você enviou?
Standard structure.
Choose the correct preposition. Multiple Choice

___ quem este projeto foi aprovado?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Por
Passive voice uses 'por'.
Fill in the blank.

___ quem você se identifica?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com
Reflexive verb 'identificar-se com'.
Fix the sentence. Error Correction

Find and fix the mistake:

Quem você se despediu?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: De quem você se despediu?
Needs 'de'.

Score: /8

Practice Bank

10 exercises
Translate to Portuguese Translation

Who is this gift for?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Para quem é este presente?
Reorder the words to form a question Sentence Reorder

quem / você / com / está / ?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você está?
Match the verb with the correct prepositional 'quem' phrase Match Pairs

Match these:

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Falar (with) -> Com quem
Choose the correct relative pronoun Multiple Choice

As pessoas ___ trabalhamos são legais.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: com quem
Fill in the blank Fill in the Blank

Não sei ___ ela está apaixonada.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: por quem
Fix the sentence Error Correction

Quem você está esperando?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Por quem você está esperando?
Translate: With whom did you go to the party? Translation

With whom did you go to the party?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: Com quem você foi à festa?
Identify the formal option Multiple Choice

Which is more formal for 'To whom it may concern'?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: A quem possa interessar
Fill in the blank Fill in the Blank

O diretor, ___ eu falei ontem, é simpático.

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: com quem
Reorder the words Sentence Reorder

você / de / gosta / quem / ?

✓ Correct! ✗ Not quite. Correct answer: De quem você gosta?

Score: /10

FAQ (8)

No, it is strictly ungrammatical in standard Portuguese.

No, 'quem' is invariable.

No, it remains 'quem' regardless of the number of people.

You must learn the verb's regency (e.g., gostar de, falar com).

Yes, the syntax is identical.

Only if you personify them.

It is the standard preposition for genitive/possession.

No, this is a fundamental syntactic rule.

Scaffolded Practice

1

1

2

2

3

3

4

4

Mastery Progress

Needs Practice

Improving

Strong

Mastered

Sign up free to practice

In Other Languages

Spanish high

Con quién...

Very similar syntax.

French high

Avec qui...

French has more complex formal structures.

German high

Mit wem...

German uses case endings.

Japanese low

Dare to...

Japanese is head-final.

Arabic moderate

Ma'a man...

Arabic has different gender agreements.

Chinese low

He shei...

Chinese has no verb conjugation.

Learning Path

Prerequisites

Previous
Portuguese Adjective Clauses (que, quem, onde, cujo)
Next
Formal Relative Pronouns: Sound Pro with 'o qual' and 'cujo'

Learn These First

B2 Builds On

Defining Clauses: Specifying with `que`, `quem`, `onde`

Ever get that feeling that one clause just isn't enough? You've mentioned a person, a place, or a thing, but you need to...

Related Grammar Rules

C1

Formal Indirect Pronouns: Using 'lhe' like a Pro

Overview At the C1 level of Portuguese, fluency transitions from simply communicating to communicating with precision,...
A1

Portuguese Subject Pronouns: Eu, Você, and the Magic of 'A Gente'

Overview Portuguese, like many Romance languages, operates on a **pro-drop** principle, meaning subject pronouns are fre...
B1

To Him & To Her: Indirect Pronouns (lhe, lhes)

Overview Portuguese indirect object pronouns, specifically **lhe** (singular) and **lhes** (plural), serve a crucial rol...
C1

Portuguese Possessives: My, Your, His, Her (Meu, Teu, Seu)

Overview Portuguese possessives, both **determiners** (also known as possessive adjectives) and **pronouns**, indicate o...
A2

Portuguese Object Pronouns: me, you, him, her (me, te, o, a)

Overview Portuguese direct object pronouns—`me`, `te`, `o`, `a`, `nos`, `vos`, `os`, `as`—serve a crucial role in gramma...
Was this helpful?

Comments (0)

Login to Comment
No comments yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!